That's What I Get For Being A Dork!

Decorating By sweetlayers Updated 17 Jul 2008 , 3:51pm by SUELA

sweetlayers Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:00pm
post #1 of 38

I had planned on having a cake consultation with a client tonight. The wedding is on my husbands birthday. I told him about it yesterday and of course he made all the excuses he could think of to NOT watch the children for 2 hours while I go to the next town for my tasting presentation. He was mad saying that was HIS special day.

I mean, he is going to be 33! GROW UP!!!! Even if they choose me to be the baker it will only take about 2 hours to go to the reception site, set the cake up and come back. But he accused me of not wanting to be there for his birthday. (What? I can use the money for his birthday present! Duh?) Finally, he just decided he would stay at work late!! And refused to help me!!!! icon_evil.gificon_evil.gificon_evil.gif

So all last night I continue preparing myself for the consultaion. I was so angry at him and I was determined that he was NOT going to throw me under the bus this time. In my head I had called him all kinds of names and even began thinking about a good divorce attorney!!! icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif

Then I realized there were no sitters available at such short notice. After crying and thinking that my reputation as a decorator would be tarnished forever, I sent my bride an email telling her that I would have to cancel and I was sorry I know that she had to make a decision soon because her wedding is in September.

When I get to work, I read the reply of my bride and quickly realize that the tasting is not today (Tuesday) it's NEXT Tuesday! icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif

I'm such a DORK!

37 replies
summernoelle Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:13pm
post #2 of 38

Geez. I am sure I will get flogged for this, but other orders will come around. Make your DH's birthday more of a priority! He wants you to see it as special, and to spend time with you!
How would you feel if he chose to work on your birthday or anniversary if it was on a Saturday or something? "Sorry, hon, but I decided to go into work today, even though it is Saturday and your birthday". icon_confused.gif
You will get other chances to make cakes!
I am sure that made a lot of people mad, so I apolgize for coming of as judgemental, but come on!

shanasweets Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:17pm
post #3 of 38

Well, we all get frazzled sometimes. Because I don't work a monday-friday type of job, I can't even confirm making cake for someone without seeing my work schedule. So I have a blank calander that has a W for work and I write my cake orders on it also. I work 12 hr nights, so I try very hard to not do cake when I work 3 days in a row. Just not enough time. Have done it a couple times and man I am a mess at 3 am, let me tell you.
As far as husbands go, not sure what to say. Just pray for him, that what I do. My husband is fairly supportive of my cake stuff, but has some other issues going on. Just shake my head and remind myself "for better or worse". But some days are easier than others. Good luck.

aa053103 Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:26pm
post #4 of 38

HAHA! That's actually kind of funny. I mean, i'm sorry this happened to you and hopefully you do get to reschedule the consult with the bride. I know all of us mommies here have had this happen to us. I use to tell my husband that when our son was born I became stupid.

Ana

tiptop57 Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:26pm
post #5 of 38

First thing - quit beating yourself up.
Second thing - family first and that includes husbands!
Third thing - more orders will come.

Toniprev Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:26pm
post #6 of 38

Ahhh yes,.... husbands!! They love it of course when you bring home 'the money'.... BUT just don't inconvenience them for it... and you know yours isn't a real job.. to them I think it will always be ahpbby. My husband brags about me to everyone... BUT... Sweetlayers... I think they all just need to be the centre of attention ocasionally!!!

costumeczar Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:29pm
post #7 of 38

I don't know...I think that you're right to say that it's only 2 hours out of his "big day" and that he needs to get over it, but if he's 33 and is still thinking that way he'll probably never get over it. Remind him that he did nothing but get born on that day, and that he should be treating his MOTHER to a nice meal out then, because she's the one who did all the work!

And then promise not to take any jobs on your anniversary! thumbs_up.gif

sweetlayers Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:39pm
post #8 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

Geez. I am sure I will get flogged for this, but other orders will come around. Make your DH's birthday more of a priority! He wants you to see it as special, and to spend time with you!
How would you feel if he chose to work on your birthday or anniversary if it was on a Saturday or something? "Sorry, hon, but I decided to go into work today, even though it is Saturday and your birthday". icon_confused.gif
You will get other chances to make cakes!
I am sure that made a lot of people mad, so I apolgize for coming of as judgemental, but come on!




I would completely agree with this post. However my case is slightly different. icon_biggrin.gif In the past I have made HIM the center of attention for his birthday. (Not to mention on plenty of other days when he complains about his "quality time") Throwing birthday dinners, buying concert tickets, NBA basketball tickets, baseball tickets, tickets to the theater, Jazz concert tickets and attending all these events with him. Allowing him to be lazy around the house and watch ESPN without asking him to take the trash out!

However, on my birthday, it's business as usual. Kids, cook breakfast, clean up, iron clothes, load em up, etc. And probably just got a gift card that I ended up having to using for someone else. So WHY am I always making his day special? He never wraps the gifts he gives me!

If it were anyone else I would agree, but I'd rather make the money this time. icon_biggrin.gif

tiptop57 Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:39pm
post #9 of 38

Hey folks don't we make a ton a birthday cakes here? So aren't they special??????? And should our spouse and children expect a lovely birthday cake from us afterall? And of course better then any other we have ever made? No Walmart cake for your spouse - it's your responsibility as a baker and decorator after all.

I am going to leave all participants with this thought- - - -

Statistically, the probability of any one of us being here is so small that youâd think the mere fact of existing would keep us all in a contented dazzlement of surprise.âLewis Thomas (1913-1993)
Physician and essayist

Don't be a scrooge, celebrate your husbands birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your business will not fail because of one order. icon_wink.gif

sweetlayers Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:40pm
post #10 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

I don't know...I think that you're right to say that it's only 2 hours out of his "big day" and that he needs to get over it, but if he's 33 and is still thinking that way he'll probably never get over it. Remind him that he did nothing but get born on that day, and that he should be treating his MOTHER to a nice meal out then, because she's the one who did all the work!

And then promise not to take any jobs on your anniversary! thumbs_up.gif




That's funny! And 100% right icon_lol.gif

cocobean Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:59pm
post #11 of 38

sweetlayers, I have an idea for you. For future reference... I heard of a gal who does cakes and has cake tastings. birthday.gif She says that her cake tastings are every six weeks and has them scheduled for the year. She always does 4 flavors. Vanilla and chocolate are standard but then she will do two gormet types. She will put slices or cupcakes with these flavors in a box, for 5 dollars. She makes x amount of boxes each time. When they are gone they are gone. She lets people know that is the only time they can taste her cakes. They have to plan around her for a taste. They have to come pick them up and leave. This sounded like a great idea to me. That way you aren't scheduling indivduals different times for tastings. If I ever do tastings I think that I will do them that way. Sounds easier this way to me. Just food for thought. thumbs_up.gif

Sorry, it doesn't help with dh birthday though. icon_rolleyes.gif

postcakes Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 9:18pm
post #12 of 38

Sweetlayers, I totally agree with you. Hubby needs to get over himself and realize that what you are doing is work, otherwise known as MONEY, which no doubt goes towards household expenses and life in general. It is not as if you scheduled a day at the spa for yourself on HIS birthday. I feel your pain!

lepaz Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 9:19pm
post #13 of 38

I have to say I know what the OP is going through. It's all about them on their special day and it should be, but it doesn't mean that you have to be at his feet the whole day. It's not going to take his whole day away, you can still do something special in the evening and make it a birthday to remember. What if you had a regular Mon-Fri job? Would he be angry because you wouldn't take the day off for his birthday? Same thing here, just because it's a cake, it's still a job. How many of us here have tried to prove to customers, family and friends that what we do is hard work and IS a job (although enjoyable and sweet). Anyways, I say do what you need to do with the cake and then make his evening special. If that doesn't work, then like you say, he has to grow up.

jammjenks Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 10:16pm
post #14 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetlayers

In the past I have made HIM the center of attention for his birthday. (Not to mention on plenty of other days when he complains about his "quality time") Throwing birthday dinners, buying concert tickets, NBA basketball tickets, baseball tickets, tickets to the theater, Jazz concert tickets and attending all these events with him. Allowing him to be lazy around the house and watch ESPN without asking him to take the trash out!

icon_biggrin.gif




Man, my dh would be jealous of him. My dh birthday is Christmas Day. It is never "all" about him. He gets recognized, but not much. He kind of gets lost in the shuffle. Poor guy.....
At least his cake is easy. His favorite is devil's food cake (straight from a box mix with no doctoring) and no icing. Easiest cake I ever do!

summernoelle Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 11:18pm
post #15 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetlayers

In the past I have made HIM the center of attention for his birthday. (Not to mention on plenty of other days when he complains about his "quality time") Throwing birthday dinners, buying concert tickets, NBA basketball tickets, baseball tickets, tickets to the theater, Jazz concert tickets and attending all these events with him. Allowing him to be lazy around the house and watch ESPN without asking him to take the trash out!

icon_biggrin.gif



Man, my dh would be jealous of him. My dh birthday is Christmas Day. It is never "all" about him. He gets recognized, but not much. He kind of gets lost in the shuffle. Poor guy.....
At least his cake is easy. His favorite is devil's food cake (straight from a box mix with no doctoring) and no icing. Easiest cake I ever do!




Mine is on Christmas Day, too! No one ever remembers it. When they do, it's like "oh yeah, happy birthday".
I am turning 30 this year...too bad it won't be a big celebration!

Ruby2uesday Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 11:18pm
post #16 of 38

I agree w/ Lepaz. i understand it's his bday, but if you worked a "normal" mon-fri 9-5 job and his bday was on a tuesday, would he expect you to take that day off??? probably not and your boss would probably look at you crazy for asking. Tell him your boss did not authorize your request for a day off since you don't have any vacation days left! icon_wink.gif

but seriously, your job is your job! it's not a normal m-f and you need to remind him of that! if it helps pay the bills remind him of that also!!! good luck!!!

4Gifts4Lisa Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 3:24am
post #17 of 38

He's being a baby. Plain and simple. A day is just a day...does he take off the whole day for you on your birthday? Seriously...I am sitting here laughing at what a baby he is being.

And don't even get me started on how he is not being there as a true partner by refusing to take care of his own kids...

Are you allowed to take off before he leaves for work, giving him no choice but to NOT go to work and care for his kids? Because that is what he is doing to you.

Sorry...not trying to attack or anything, but "men" who pull this crap really tick me off.

golfgirl1227 Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 3:33am
post #18 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4Gifts4Lisa

He's being a baby. Plain and simple. A day is just a day...does he take off the whole day for you on your birthday? Seriously...I am sitting here laughing at what a baby he is being.

And don't even get me started on how he is not being there as a true partner by refusing to take care of his own kids...

Are you allowed to take off before he leaves for work, giving him no choice but to NOT go to work and care for his kids? Because that is what he is doing to you.

Sorry...not trying to attack or anything, but "men" who pull this crap really tick me off.




ditto.

lainalee Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 4:00am
post #19 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4Gifts4Lisa

He's being a baby. Plain and simple. A day is just a day...does he take off the whole day for you on your birthday? Seriously...I am sitting here laughing at what a baby he is being.

And don't even get me started on how he is not being there as a true partner by refusing to take care of his own kids...

Are you allowed to take off before he leaves for work, giving him no choice but to NOT go to work and care for his kids? Because that is what he is doing to you.

Sorry...not trying to attack or anything, but "men" who pull this crap really tick me off.



Yea, what she said! lol, but seriously, what you do (working a cake business) is just like his work, for the good of your family. Don't let yourself feel guilty. He'll get over it.

lisa78332 Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 4:11am
post #20 of 38

Okay, so just to be mean I would say....
"Babe, I called the bride and rescheduled the tasting. She wasn't very happy and I may have lost out on that sale. And with gas prices these days, I was planning on taking you to (fill in the blank) with the money I made. But now we can't go and so we'll stay home and find something else fun to do" icon_evil.gificon_evil.gificon_evil.gif

bizatchgirl Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 4:19am
post #21 of 38

Lisa78332 you are devious. I love the way you think icon_cool.gif

Summernoelle and Jammjenks, my best friend's birthday is Dec26 th and her hubby's (my dear friend first!) birthday is New Year's Eve. Now, I've known her for 25 years and him for 14 years. Every year I do my Christmas shopping and check everyone off the list. Then every year on Christmas Eve I realize I don't have a birthday gift for my best friend icon_redface.gif And every year on New Year's Eve I realize I don't have a present for her husband icon_redface.gif It's not that I forget when their birthdays are, it just sneaks up on me with all of the other shopping. Bad friend! tapedshut.gif

mom2spunkynbug Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 4:22am
post #22 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4Gifts4Lisa

He's being a baby. Plain and simple. A day is just a day...does he take off the whole day for you on your birthday? Seriously...I am sitting here laughing at what a baby he is being.

And don't even get me started on how he is not being there as a true partner by refusing to take care of his own kids...

Are you allowed to take off before he leaves for work, giving him no choice but to NOT go to work and care for his kids? Because that is what he is doing to you.

Sorry...not trying to attack or anything, but "men" who pull this crap really tick me off.




I totally agree. You should've asked him if he wanted some cheese with that whine {wine}. How rude & disrespectful to you. And I'd LOVE to know what he does for you on YOUR birthday! icon_confused.gif

emrldsky Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 2:16pm
post #23 of 38

I can understand his frustration, but I can understand yours too.

If he thinks that's bad, try this story on for size.

My husband and I do IT work (on the side) for a lawyer downtown. Last October my husband was told that the lawyer's office was being re-carpeted and all the networking cables and such would need to be put up, and the replaced once the carpeting was in.

When was this work going to be taking place? The weekend of our FIRST wedding anniversary (yep, that's right, our very first anniversary!). If our anniversary had been on Saturday, all would have been fine, but nope...it was on Sunday, the day my husband had to replace all the cables and equipment.

It took him more than two hours to get it all done. I was upset at first, but then realized that it was money, and it would help pay for our gifts.

postcakes Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 2:18pm
post #24 of 38

Okay, I guess I'm a meanie, but it it so refreshing to hear that not everyone in the world has the BEST husband that they love with all their heart who supports them in everything they do, yada yada yada...Sometimes I read these posts and I think to myself, "Boy, did I make a mistake!"

Muse Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 6:47pm
post #25 of 38

At my house, work and potential money-making hobbies come first. It's not always fun or convenient or fair, but that's the way it is. My husband spends all day, ALL day, Sunday with his band and one or two entire nights a week. I don't care for it, but it's not my place to say. Just like if I have a cake order that has to be done.

Actually, if I have an order to do I have to get someone to come over and watch my son while I work. My husband isn't real big on doing it himself.

See, it just depends on how you as a family function.

VannaD Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 7:24pm
post #26 of 38

I think your hubby is being a baby, but i cant say anything, when it comes to his birthday, my hubby is a baby too. Last year i didnt go to my cousins wedding b/c my DH threw such a fit b/c it was his bday..waaah waaah waaah icon_cry.gif come to think of it, ive gone to no parties my cousins had since me and hubby got together,its always something. Her DD 1st Bday party was on moms day so hubby said you have to stay here with me its your special day blah blah blah, second yr the girls party was on our anniversary, hubby says you cant go its our anniversary, we didnt even do anything until dinner time. He's a PITA but like Indydebi says "husbands cant live with them, cant kill them, or you have to clean up after them one more time."

Mike1394 Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 7:35pm
post #27 of 38

Tell him to grow up take off the pink panties. Anyone over 21 that wants to celebrate a birthday is suspect anyways.

Mike

tx_cupcake Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 7:44pm
post #28 of 38

HAHAHAHA! Mike, you took the words right out of my mouth!
icon_lol.gif

But seriously, who cares about a 33rd birthday? Wow. 33. Way to go. thumbs_up.gif

DoniB Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 7:45pm
post #29 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammjenks


Man, my dh would be jealous of him. My dh birthday is Christmas Day. It is never "all" about him. He gets recognized, but not much. He kind of gets lost in the shuffle. Poor guy.....
At least his cake is easy. His favorite is devil's food cake (straight from a box mix with no doctoring) and no icing. Easiest cake I ever do!




My dad's b-day is Christmas, and he used to always complain about not getting a fuss (his sisters used to always be mad that he got an extra present on Christmas, forgetting that he didnt' get a separate birthday party any other time! Yes, they're that petty. Sigh) But we changed that about ten years ago... Now, we have "Christmas" from the time we wake up until about 4 pm, so we can get the presents unwrapped, dinner eaten, and a bit digested so there's room for cake. Then my Mom (or whoever's house we're in that year) will completely change the decorations in the dining room, so that it's 'birthday' instead of Christmas, and for about two hours, we sit around, eat birthday cake, and don't mention Christmas at all. After he gets up to go back to watching football, Christmas resumes. icon_razz.gif

Hey, it works for us, and he gets an actual birthday party that's all about him for a bit. icon_smile.gif (I have a best friend who's family has started doing the same thing for her, since her b-day is christmas, as well. It was crazy when my grandmother was still alive, as her's was the same... yup! Three Christmas birthdays!!!!)

Just a thought for you, to make it special for him, even if only for a few hours on that very special day. icon_smile.gif

As for the OP's hubby... we make a big deal about birthdays in my family and group of friends, no matter how old people get. It's just what we do. The only reason we will miss someone's b-day is if there's a medical emergency, financial impossibility (gas prices, no extra cash for gas that week for traveling), or if we have a large 'job' that will help with cash flow. My hubby would certainly understand, and encourage!, me to do the cake... but he'd still want his time afterwards... and a larger present, since I'd be making all that money! LOL

Sorry so long... I don't get out much... icon_razz.gif

smoore Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 7:52pm
post #30 of 38

Sort of sounds like the "It's my only day off" type rationale ... can't do housework, mow lawn or watch kids because it's HIS only day off. Excuse me, what day is my day off????? My DH is caked out ... doesn't eat it much 'cause he's just plain had enough of it and being diabetic anyway, he shouldn't have it. I haven't had a b-day cake since I was 21. My DH's b-day was in May and at a b-day party we went to he made a comment how he didn't even get a cake this year. Bought himself a new gun, but no cake, darn it! I got him ice cream (his dessert of choice anyway), but didn't make a cake 'cause 1) he doesn't eat it anymore and 2) my thighs sure don't need it! When he brought the gun home a week before his b-day I said "Happy Birthday, honey! Thanks for picking my gift out for you." He said, "I know, this is my present." But suddenly, he's sad 'cause he had no cake. WHERE'S MY CAKE? (One that I don't have to make!)

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