I Know This Sounds Juvenile....boyfriends :(

Lounge By lbain Updated 17 Jul 2008 , 4:26am by lbain

lbain Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 2:48am
post #1 of 15

Okay so I know this sounds really stupid and juvenile but after all I am only 19....

Okay so I've been dating my bf for 4 years and I love him to death but there is this silly high school girl who I personally think has a crush on him.

She purposelt tries to make me mad by saying thigs about being secretly in love with him and texting him all kinds of stuff. I told him to stop talking to her but I know he does still....I know there is nothing going on between them but WHY DOES SHE WANT TO MAKE ME MAD???

Ugh....I'm just so torn...like I know I shouldn't let her bother me and all but she does!!

and i kinda sent her an anonymous letter calling her a bad name cuz I'm Sick of dealing with it and now I feel bad. icon_sad.gif

just need some words of wisdom...thanks cc!

14 replies
lbain Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 2:49am
post #2 of 15

sorry for all the typos....im tired haha

sarahpierce Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 11:29am
post #3 of 15

You're young dear, you have your whole life ahead of you. You need to think with your head instead of your heart. I know these things are easy to say, but we've all been there. Jelousy is a horrible ugly thing. If he doesn't stop talking to her you need to be prepared to walk away. If he was in this for the long haul he wouldn't risk it, and he may be testing you right now. Don't waste your life with someone you don't trust. And you may say, " well, I trust him, but not her." That's a cop out. Put your foot down, and tell him no more or else.

"Hell have no fury like a woman scorned."

sarahpierce Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 11:30am
post #4 of 15

You're young dear, you have your whole life ahead of you. You need to think with your head instead of your heart. I know these things are easy to say, but we've all been there. Jelousy is a horrible ugly thing. If he doesn't stop talking to her you need to be prepared to walk away. If he was in this for the long haul he wouldn't risk it, and he may be testing you right now. Don't waste your life with someone you don't trust. And you may say, " well, I trust him, but not her." That's a cop out. Put your foot down, and tell him no more or else.

"Hell have no fury like a woman scorned."

peg818 Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 11:54am
post #5 of 15

I think what you have to understand that it is a great ego boost for men (any age) to have a woman pursue them, and that is what she is doing.

As Sarah has said, you need to put your foot down with him and tell him how it makes you feel. If he insists on continuing the relationship with this other girl then you have some soul searching to do.

Remember you have your whole life ahead of you, and i'm a firm believer that when one door closes another opens.

michellenj Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 4:15pm
post #6 of 15

The problem is HIM. She wouldn't be doing those things if he weren't encouraging her.

Why don't you take a break and see who else is out there? You might find someone better, or he might get a little jealous himself and straighten out.

Being alone sucks, but it sucks even worse to go through your days being jealous, mistrustful, and insecure about where you stand in your relationship.

lbain Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 5:38pm
post #7 of 15

thanks so much for all of your advice.

She just keeps saying stuff like on the internet she said...oh can i not talk to you on here either? blah blah blah....this girl is driving me crazy

I mean I really want to say something to her but I know I should be the bigger person.

I'm just so torn what to do...icon_sad.gif

Sunflower08 Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 5:46pm
post #8 of 15

You said it exactly... be the bigger person.. Don't let her get to you..
Say something to him about the situation and if he wants to continue to play games walk away.

michellenj Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 8:38pm
post #9 of 15

Let me tell you, walking away from a guy will make him want you more.

ccr03 Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 9:16pm
post #10 of 15

1. some girls are just straight up 'punks' - to put it nicely. This chick is obviously VERY childish BUT like your BF. Personally, I really always try to be teh bigger person, however my mom always taught me not to start fights, but I better finish them! (Mama said knock you out! - yeah there's my LL Cool J reference).

2. Your BF may be part of the problem. How peg818 said, guys love attention/ego-boosters - especially if the girl is younger! Tell him how much it bothers you and validate your feelings, if he doesn't respect that, it's not cool.

3. Question - were they friends BEFORE you guys started going out? My sister was firends LONG below his now-wife was in the picture, but she has essentially made him stop talking to my sister. That's not fair either.

Hope it all works out!!

lbain Posted 15 Jul 2008 , 9:24pm
post #11 of 15

thanks for all ur advice!!

Well my bf has a younger sister who is 16 and this girl plays softball with his sister so im sure they have known each other a long time but i think just recently she like wants to be "friends" with him. I hate it too because she is making me look bad in front of my bf's sister....lol

my bf did say he would stop talking to her though...

I just dont think he understands how mischevious and manipulative high school (or girls in general) can be at this age...he thinks she honestly wants to be friends...but he sees my point of view.. icon_smile.gif

btw...i love all u guys...i feel like yall really respect the youngins here

AKA_cupcakeshoppe Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 5:31pm
post #12 of 15

just be mature about it. tell your bf how it makes you feel and let him know that it's bothering you. the next step should be up to him and, depending on his reaction, you should decide where you want the relationship to go.

you're so young. you have lots more to go through. just enjoy it. it's all part of growing up icon_smile.gif

mad11 Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 5:40pm
post #13 of 15

The ladies on here have already given you great advice. The only thing I can add is to not let the 4 years you've been in the relationship stop you from ending it if her talking to him is really a problem for you (and he continues to talk to her). I was in a relationship that was not so good and I could not tell you the times I told myself that I had so many years invested that I didn't want to have just thrown away. Looking back, I would have saved myself many heartaches and many more years had I just walked away.

I am so glad that he sees your point of view of the matter. And I would not worry about that girl making you look bad to your bf's sister. She knows what is going on.

mkolmar Posted 16 Jul 2008 , 11:44pm
post #14 of 15

This is all wonderful advice and I would take it to heart. You are young and he is also. It's all part of growing up and changing as people and figuring out who you are in the process. If you can work things out great, but if not just move on.

I understand being young and in love. I started dating my DH when I was 15, he was 17. I married him 2 weeks after my 19th birthday and we've been married for 11 years (It has been bumpy at times but worth it). I know that we are the exception but I do believe that sometimes the person you find when you are young is the one you are meant to spend a lifetime with. However, there needs to be respect and trust on both ends. I'm glad he said he would quit talking to her, but just make sure he follows through with his promise. If not, be done with him and move on.

lbain Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 4:26am
post #15 of 15

i agree mkolar....i think that since i was so stern about it that he realizes I'm not joking. I mean in a way i feel bad like taking his friends away but i feel hurt by this girl and i think he realizes that.

I think its awesome u and your husband have been together so long! I know that he is THE one and this is just one of our little fights we allways work things out and can't stay mad at each other lol

THanks!!

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