Here's my issue: I have been making cakes for about 5 years, truely enjoy it and pride myself on the "All made from scratch" moto I have. Well, my BF's Mom, we'll call her Amy, also makes cakes but, here idea of a "custom" cake is a box mix and Rich's Bettercream icing usually with a edible image. I mean no offense to those of you who use cake mixes. I love the taste of them it's just when something is going to have my name on it, I prefer to make it from scratch.

Anyhow, "Amy" called me the other day to get my "input" and ask for help on her daughter's bday cake. She explained to me that she wanted to work on it during the day so "Any time you could spare". Well, I explained that weekends and evenings would be best because I work. Her response? "Oh, that's too bad. Well, any time you can afford would be good." I wanted to smack her. Well, back to the cake, she explained that she wanted to go with the "Tree of Life" theme of the Lion King. Fine, sounds good but she wants to put an edible image of the Lion King on the center cake. MY BF doesn't like the Lion King!!!! I know this, how is it that her own Mother doesn't?

So I suggested making a 12" round for the center. Decorate it like a tree stump, flowers, little critters etc. and write Happy 40th Bday with roots extending out to form circles around the 5 satilite cakes which would hold family photos.

You would have thought I suggested going to Wal-Mart to get the cake!!!!!!!!! No offense those who like Wal-Mart cakes. I thought she was going to flip a lid? I was telling my hubby what happened and all he said was..."Well you know how it goes...Keep your friends close and your enimies closer. You do know she doesn't want your help, was just trying to be polite and is probably trying to get some of your secrets."

So now I don't want to help and definately don't want my name associated with something that doesn't even reflect what my BF likes. Why ask for my help if you really don't want it? Any advice on how to deal with or get out of this would be great.

Thanx

Omg I hate ego stuff like this.
I would easily tell her I was busy and couldn't make it.

you've already provided your "out" -- you work.

she already had it designed -- her thought "How DARE you change it!"

your design vs. her implied skill/creativity level -- very intimidating to her -- tho' I think very cute!

further "out" ---
"since I won't have time to help you with the cake which you seem to have all under control, how's about I make .....(fill in w/ some main or side dish your BF loves when you make it)

as for Mom not know BF's likes/dislikes -- well that happens when kids grow up (40! -- that makes mom- what 60+ or so) and mom's get set in their ways (or totally nostalgic and still thinking of their "little baby girl/boy")

I agree with Doug. Tell her you work and can't help as much as you would want. I also agree with the idea about bringing a different dish that you know your friend likes.

What I am trying to rack my brain figuring out is WHY would a mom want to make a Lion King cake for a 40 yr old woman?? I mean I might make one for my 6 yr old but a 40 yr old?

I personally would want an elegant cake not a cartoon themed cake.

I don't think my Mom has made me a birthday cake since I got married!

[quote="Dordee"]

What I am trying to rack my brain figuring out is WHY would a mom want to make a Lion King cake for a 40 yr old woman?? I mean I might make one for my 6 yr old but a 40 yr old?

[quote]

I was thinking the exact same thing!! Maybe she has a bunch of Lion King edible images she wants to get rid of or something...

I'm a firm believer in the saying, "Honesty is the best policy." and I know that "the truth hurts" but I'd want my BF to have a cake that SHE would like and not her mother. I would just tactfully tell her that I don't think the lion king is something her daughter would like and suggest something different. If she lays an egg about it then just tell her that you've given the best advice you can as to her daughters bday cake and if she doesn't want to take it then she should go ahead with her own. However, you will not be able to help her any further because there would just be too many creative differences that could cause unnecessary tension.

Thank you for your wonderful suggestions. Saw my BF yesterday & kinda explained the dilema, so I'm thinking she mentioned something to Mom because Mom left a message that she wants to talk with me tonight. I will explain my orginal idea again & I've also come up with a really elegant idea with Cala Lillies, BF's favorite. So we'll see how it goes. If it's a no go, then so be it. I've decided, you need to pick your battles & this is just not one I want. The last thing I need is my BF being posted in the middle of something so silly.

I LOVE THIS SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One other thing. I have the opportunity to buy older Pizza ovens, double stacked and 30" wide. Has anyone ever used a pizza oven to bake cakes? Don't know the first thing about them and am afraid to make the investment if they wouldn't work as well as my regular kitchen stove. Thanks again.

Please keep in mind that calla lilies are poisonous, so I hope you are making fondant or gumpaste ones.

Hmm... you might get more of a response on the oven situation if you posted in the cake decorating business section. Maybe some of those bakery owners have tried the pizza ovens.

As for the cake, I agree with Doug that you should just say you're busy. This could become a headache!

Yes, I do know that real Calla Lillies are posionous, so of course they would be gumpaste, fondant or cold porcelain.

Thanks for the suggestion on posting in the business section. I'll do that.

No offense intended, by the way... many people have no idea that callas are poisonous. I try to mention it whenever they are brought up in regards to cake decoration.

Oh, no offense taken. I appreciate the reminder & didn't mean for that response to sound harse.

No worries, crisis has been avoided.

BF's Mom called to say she changed the design of the cake to something more simple so she wasn't sure what i could do to help. So I called back to see what else she needed me to bring because from her message I got she had the cake all under control. She very politely explained that she would fee better doing it on her own because this is her daughter and this was her way of doing something special.

So I'm off the hook and don't need to make any excuses.

Thanks for all of the advice.