Should I Be Completely Insulted Or What?

Decorating By danijus Updated 2 Jul 2008 , 12:35am by suchie6

danijus Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 5:54pm
post #1 of 49

So I went to my cousins graduation party and (you may want to sit down) I was forced to eat a $13 cake from a wholesale club. EWWWW. My aunt didn't even ask me to make the cake, which she knows I would have gladly done to get more exposure. Then she bought one of those giant cupcakes and looked at me and said oh can you make one of those in a sarcastic voice. Is she kidding me? It wasn't even decorated. It just had a blob of cream on top. UGH I'm so annoyed. Just had to get that off my chest.

48 replies
Trixyinaz Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 6:34pm
post #2 of 49

Um, I'd be a bit insulted by her comment if she knew you could so do the giant cupcake. As for buying the $13 cake from the wholesale place, I'd be more hurt than insulted. Does she know how much you charge for your cakes? Maybe she couldn't afford you and rather than insulting you by asking for a cake of yours but saying she could only pay you such and such, she wanted to avoid the awkwardness and just bought what she could afford. Maybe she didn't want to impose on you. Some people are just like that. Could she truly have not known that you could do the giant cupcake cake?

Again, I guess I would be more hurt that she didn't even come to me and ask me if I could, what I would charge, etc., before just going out and buying someone elses cake.

BTW, your cakes are lovely.

Kitchen_Witch Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 6:42pm
post #3 of 49

I would've been insulted especially as you mention in your post that she knows you would've happily made the cake. My father's side of the family is really passive aggressive like that though so I know if it had been one of them it would've been on purpose. icon_rolleyes.gif Only you know your family though. Your aunt missed out on a fab cake. Your cakes are great!

danijus Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 6:50pm
post #4 of 49

She's def the type to put someone down. I dont know her reason for not asking cause she doesn't care if she imposes and I wouldn't have charged her.

jamhays Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 6:57pm
post #5 of 49

There's nobody big enough to force me to eat a $13 bad cake.

Trixyinaz Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 6:58pm
post #6 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by danijus

She's def the type to put someone down. I dont know her reason for not asking cause she doesn't care if she imposes and I wouldn't have charged her.




In that case, then I would totally be insulted. Could she be jealous of your talent and the attenion you would have gotten at HER daughters graduation when every one ooooh'd and awwww'd about your cake? I find people who put other people down are jealous of them and have to make themself look better somehow. Write it off and be thankful you didn't make it for her for free. I hate giving stuff away to people like that.

Amia Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 6:59pm
post #7 of 49

Well it certainly sounds like she doubts your ability with that comment about the giant cupcake, so I'd be insulted. You should've told her that you could not only do it, but yours would actually have looked, and tasted, good. icon_twisted.gif

mjballinger Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 7:01pm
post #8 of 49

Your Aunt reminds me of my own! When I was 14, I hadn't even taken a class yet (this was 20+ yrs ago) I made a bunny cake for Easter. It was the classic, old school one with coconut and licorice for the wiskers, made from two rounds, one which was cut to be the ears and the bow tie......anyway, I was very proud of it, and she said, "Oh honey, what a lovely CAT." Still p's me off! I limit her concact with my own kids because I know she feels good about her self by making other's feel bad. People like that don't change.
Just know that your cake would have been better and maybe she just didn't want you to get the compliments and such!

chutzpah Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 7:05pm
post #9 of 49

Forced? Did they hold you down and shove cake in your mouth and hold your nose until you had to swallow?

lilyanddayne Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 7:26pm
post #10 of 49

The next time that bizzatch wants a cake from you say hell no! She can keep eating sh**y cake!!!
I also have people like that around and at the last graduation party they had a full sheet from a local bakery shop and it was okay, but I made sure I told them that not only would mine have tasted better, I would have given them the family price! THEIR LOSS! That deal is no longer available!

Cakenator Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 7:31pm
post #11 of 49

Don't you just love family?

I was shunned for my cousin's wedding... I like to think its because I'm too expensive but in reality, she just wanted to hurt me because we have a TON of family issues. Seriously my family could be a doctor Phil mini-series.

Anyways, sorry your aunt treated you like that. Never ever do a cake for her. ever.

Denise Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 8:56pm
post #12 of 49

Gee - think of it this way: you didn't waste your time and ingredients and TALENT on someone who would just have been pissy about it - like they sucked a sour lemon.

Smile, enjoy the party and going home to a clean kitchen.

My SIL did this 3 years ago when I was starting out when our niece got married. My in-laws are just too darling for words. I wasn't even invited to the shower (I should just have KNOWN) but that is another rant. Some of my husband's cousins knew I did cake. The cake was uneven, lopsided and not the best looking cake in town. I don't know who did it but it didn't even look like a good cake from a grocery store. My daughter tried some of it and pronounced it dry and yukky. LOL One of the cousins leaned over and said "did you do the cake?" I said "No. If I had done the cake it would have been pretty AND tasted good"

LOL That was pissy of me but I would have been pissier making a cake for these idiot. I offered to do the wedding cake (for free and was told it was "included" in their package. Whatever.

funcakes Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:04pm
post #13 of 49

Forced you to eat the cake??? Was your mom a good cook or what?
At my house from a very early age my sister and I learned how to break food into little pieces, scatter it around the plate and hide stuff under our napkins so we didn't have to eat some of our mom's cooking. For my last birthday my friends at work got a cake from BJ's. It was a nice thought, so I pulled out all my "hide the food" tricks and they still don't know I didn't eat any cake! Come on-this stuff is a moment on the lips forever on the hips-it won't be BJ's cake.

indydebi Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:09pm
post #14 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by jamhays

There's nobody big enough to force me to eat a $13 bad cake.




Or even a $130 bad cake! After one bite at a wedding, I refused to eat any more of the cake. Someone told me it was bad luck for the bride and groom if I didn't eat the cake. I said, "Then they better carry a bunch of 4-leave clovers!"

Yes, I am a proud-card-carrying-member-of-the-cake-snob-club!

chutzpah Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:10pm
post #15 of 49

I am Founder and President of the Cake Snob Club.

KateWatson Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:11pm
post #16 of 49

My family can be the same way - I'm beginning to think that every family is a "Dr. Phil" kind of family!! I think they sometimes see us a certain way and then can't possibly believe that we may have a talent at something and it makes them feel inadequate or threatened in some way. I learned a long time age (although of COURSE these things still hurt) that comments like that say way more about what is going on in that person's head than what is going on in your life (and your amazing cakes!). Don't let them rain on your parade - keep baking!!

tonedna Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:12pm
post #17 of 49

I would have say ..yes...I make cakes that look good!...

dydemus Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:16pm
post #18 of 49

Sorry, but I love Costco cakes icon_smile.gif.
And, really, from the tone of a lot of posts, I can see why non-cake makers could see us as snobby.
On the negative side, we really should be more patient with people, and kind. It's okay if a cake's not as good as ours. We shouldn't expect everyone to always order OUR cakes - be happy for whomever the event is for, and compliment those who put work into the event.
On the positive side, again icon_smile.gif, be patient with those who don't know about what you do. They have no idea how much work and skill you have - and they may feel intimidated when you are around. They may just feel that you are judging their cake (I know, they didn't make it, but they did choose where to buy it). I can imagine how nerve-wracking it would be if Bronwyn or Toba showed up to eat my cake.

Chef_Stef Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:20pm
post #19 of 49

Honestly if I had a relative ask me snottily if I could "make a cake like that", (and believe me, I'm related to several who'd do this!), I'd look down my nose at the cake in question with a look of utter, haughty, distaste, then I'd smirk and do my Laugh (sort of a 'heh' sound crossed with a snort), and say "Not one like that, I can't. Besides, I mainly specialize in cakes for a more...upscale audience." That shuts them right up. icon_twisted.gif

When I'm offered cake in a situation like that, I hold up my hand and diplomatically say, "Oh, none for me, thanks. I get so much cake at home."

I wouldn't waste one minute feeling bad about this, if I were you...

indydebi Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:24pm
post #20 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by funcakes

Come on-this stuff is a moment on the lips forever on the hips-it won't be BJ's cake.




icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif Reminds me of when my oldest daughter was on weight watchers. SHe refused to eat any cookies but mine. Said, "If I'm going to waste points on cookies, it's going to be on MOM'S cookies!"

nmrunyon Posted 29 Jun 2008 , 9:27pm
post #21 of 49

Try to make something good out of it. You know the whole make lemonade thing. I was a little put back that my sister didn't have me make the cake for her step-daughters graduation, but I didn't have to bake, I didn't have to transport and I didn't have to clean my kitchen.

The other thing that happened was (addressed in a former post) the cake from Kroger was fabulous!!! I was shocked. After figuring out that kroger used Pillsbury cake I called Pillsbury to get some "hints" to make a moister, fluffy cake like I had at the party. And the hints worked GREAT!!!

So if you can't make lemonade from the lemons she threw at you then cut the sucker up, grab the salt and have a shot of taquila!!!! thumbs_up.gif

KKC Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 1:09am
post #22 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by nmrunyon

Try to make something good out of it. You know the whole make lemonade thing. I was a little put back that my sister didn't have me make the cake for her step-daughters graduation, but I didn't have to bake, I didn't have to transport and I didn't have to clean my kitchen.

The other thing that happened was (addressed in a former post) the cake from Kroger was fabulous!!! I was shocked. After figuring out that kroger used Pillsbury cake I called Pillsbury to get some "hints" to make a moister, fluffy cake like I had at the party. And the hints worked GREAT!!!

So if you can't make lemonade from the lemons she threw at you then cut the sucker up, grab the salt and have a shot of taquila!!!! thumbs_up.gif


That's cute...I like that!!! This past Thanksgiving, I made a ton of cakes and desserts (10 to be exact) and got plenty of oohs and aahhs and this lady who isn't even apart of the family kept trying to knock me off my square by saying, 'Oh she must've gotten that idea from someone, or maybe a magazine...she couldn't have come up with this on her own'... Mind u she's an older lady (old enough to be my granny) so i just smiled and walked off. My family was very surprised being that I'm very quick tempered. It didn't bother me because I knew that she would be the main one with 10 take-out plates full of my desserts...and guess what? I was right, this lady made 2 trips to the house to retrieve her plates full of my desserts.

indydebi Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 1:16am
post #23 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kivia

....kept trying to knock me off my square by saying, 'Oh she must've gotten that idea from someone, or maybe a magazine...she couldn't have come up with this on her own'...




icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif Nothing like flat-out being called "too stupid to think", is there? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

danijus Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 1:20am
post #24 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by chutzpah

Forced? Did they hold you down and shove cake in your mouth and hold your nose until you had to swallow?




It was only a figure of speech

danijus Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 1:21am
post #25 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by homecook

Honestly if I had a relative ask me snottily if I could "make a cake like that", (and believe me, I'm related to several who'd do this!), I'd look down my nose at the cake in question with a look of utter, haughty, distaste, then I'd smirk and do my Laugh (sort of a 'heh' sound crossed with a snort), and say "Not one like that, I can't. Besides, I mainly specialize in cakes for a more...upscale audience." That shuts them right up. icon_twisted.gif

When I'm offered cake in a situation like that, I hold up my hand and diplomatically say, "Oh, none for me, thanks. I get so much cake at home."

I wouldn't waste one minute feeling bad about this, if I were you...




LOL

SueW Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 1:31am
post #26 of 49

Just wondering..... did she understand that you would not have charged her? Since I started doing cakes I come across this type thing all the time. I have one friend who suddenly got into "cookie cakes" for her kids knowing that I don't do those.
She asked me for a CCC and cookies last year for her son's b-day and I could tell she was shocked at the price afterward(she's very frugile unless her mommy and daddy buy it for her which happens all the time). This year she had the nerve to ask me to "help" her decorate her daughter's cookie cake and use my tools. I told her what frosting to buy, put my pastry bag in a shopping bag and told her to have fun. I was NOT going to do it for her since she was trying to use my "talent" and get the design for free. I am not usually so petty but once people know you do cakes they turn weird icon_lol.gif Her mom even chimed in saying "oh she'll make the cookie she just needs a friends help to decorate". Can you imagine the nerve. They clearly didn't want me to think I was getting paid but wanted me to "help". sorry not when it's my "profession".

Done ranting icon_razz.gif

danijus Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 1:42am
post #27 of 49

I did tell her I could do the graduation cake for her (more for my cousin who's a sweetheart) for free cause I want to get my cakes out there as much as possible and she was having a lot of people. What got me mad was not that she didn't ask me to do the cake, although it hurt my feelings, but that she insulted me and my cakes in front of so many people. It was so embarrassing.

keconnell08 Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 11:06am
post #28 of 49

Ugh, blow it off.... People like that, even if family, are just sad miserable souls.

Its not you, its her... thumbs_up.gif

Texas_Rose Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 11:30am
post #29 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by funcakes

Forced you to eat the cake??? Was your mom a good cook or what?
At my house from a very early age my sister and I learned how to break food into little pieces, scatter it around the plate and hide stuff under our napkins so we didn't have to eat some of our mom's cooking. For my last birthday my friends at work got a cake from BJ's. It was a nice thought, so I pulled out all my "hide the food" tricks and they still don't know I didn't eat any cake! Come on-this stuff is a moment on the lips forever on the hips-it won't be BJ's cake.





LOL...I was a vegetarian as a teen so that I wouldn't have to eat my mother's cooking. It got me out of eating bloody steak every night but I didn't grow and my sister did. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

hellie0h Posted 30 Jun 2008 , 11:58am
post #30 of 49

There is something about Aunts, my mothers older sister was always giving out "left-handed compliments".
As a kid, her words, along with my being shy, did a number on my self-esteem.
As an adult, I realized that she was putting me down because she could not stand the fact that anyone other than her, and her kids were not the center of attraction.
I believe they call these people NARCISSISTIC!!!!

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