Why Won't People Control Their Kids???!???

Decorating By sadiepix Updated 23 Jul 2008 , 4:11am by OCakes

shturpin Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 2:47pm
post #31 of 128

This brings back memories. When my grandson was 2, he was taken to my cousins funeral in his stroller. He was being a perfect little gentleman, until his foot got stuck in the stroller. He yelled, "I got my d***** foot stuck" ! WE took him outside, gave him a speech of all speeches, told him to behave himself when we went back in. Good for awhile, until he decided to sing his favorite song, and loudly ! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT, WHO, WHO, WHO !!! Back outside we went ! After the services, the funeral director, a very good friend of ours, came up and said, "Oh yeah, you can tell he's your grandson alright !" I sorta took that personal ! LOL ! The cousins wife, came up and laughed, and said that's exactly what her husband, would have expected out of little Tyler ! He loved Tyler so much. In all fairness to the funeral director, i DID call him up to order some embalming fluid. So , i guess my grandson is a "little ornery" like me !

bkdcakes Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 2:54pm
post #32 of 128

Your friend is amazing! I would have probably beaten those parents to a pulp!! icon_mad.gif

You know, if I am invited to an event that says "adults only" or "no kids allowed", I don't go. If I can't take my children, then I don't need to be there. However, my boys KNOW what would happen to them if they behaved this way in public, anywhere other than a playground! We go to church on Sundays, we eat in nice restaurants, we take them places where their best behavior is required & therefore, they know how to act! I once had an older couple stop me in a restaurant, to say how nice it was to see boys acting nicely in public. Now don't get me wrong, they are not angels & it took lots of practice, but they have to be taught right from wrong, in all aspects of life! The parents are to blame for this fiasco! icon_wink.gif

cakegal Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 2:56pm
post #33 of 128

Oh, man.
My son's wedding is coming up this month.
I'm doing the cake.
They didn't want kids at the reception but didn't know how to go about it without offending relatives on my soon to be DIL. So my guess is, there will be kids at the reception.

The cake will be set up out of the way...but you know kids.... they can find a way to get into things without even trying.
I hope all goes well. I'll probably end up cutting the cake as well.

I can't believe the couple didn't offer to pay for the damaged cake.
Your friend shouldn't have given the money back. It wasn't her fault the those kids acted like monkeys.

Wendl Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 2:56pm
post #34 of 128
Originally Posted by jadak

Originally Posted by chutzpah

Stupid people shouldn't breed.

My opinion has always been that women should have to apply to get their ovaries turned on. There should be a tough arduous screening process! (and A LOT of rejected applicants!) icon_lol.gif

Not to mention that boys/men shouldn't be issued 'batteries' for their 'joysticks' w/o the same review process. It takes two to tango.


ac0474 Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 2:58pm
post #35 of 128

What an admirable and honorable thing to do! There aren't enough people in the world like that.

jamhays Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 3:20pm
post #36 of 128

You HAVE to call your friend up & see if she heard from the MOB about the cake afterwards!!! Did they make those people pay?
I can't believe those "parents".

indydebi Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 3:31pm
post #37 of 128
Originally Posted by bkdcakes

You know, if I am invited to an event that says "adults only" or "no kids allowed", I don't go. If I can't take my children, then I don't need to be there.

I respect your decision, but there are events that are not designed for kids. For example, my husband's employer offers a family-company picnic with lots of games and activities for children. They also do a very nice Christmas dinner for employees and spouses - adult only. There is NOTHING for kids to do. It's designed for adults, not for children.

In my very personal opinion, to cop the attitude of "if I can't take my kids .....!" is very disrespectful to the person hosting the event.

bkdcakes Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 3:42pm
post #38 of 128
Originally Posted by indydebi

In my very personal opinion, to cop the attitude of "if I can't take my kids .....!" is very disrespectful to the person hosting the event.

icon_redface.gif I sure didn't mean it in a disrespectful way! I generally don't even tell the host, I just decline the invitation. (My dh doesn't really enjoy those type of social events, anyway, so if I have to go, he has an excuse to stay with the kids!)

Amia Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 3:46pm
post #39 of 128
Originally Posted by Wendl

Originally Posted by jadak

Originally Posted by chutzpah

Stupid people shouldn't breed.

My opinion has always been that women should have to apply to get their ovaries turned on. There should be a tough arduous screening process! (and A LOT of rejected applicants!) icon_lol.gif

Not to mention that boys/men shouldn't be issued 'batteries' for their 'joysticks' w/o the same review process. It takes two to tango.


Why do we have to pass tests to be able to do anything else in life, except have kids? You have to take a driver's test, SAT's, licensing exams etc etc. If you have to prove you're smart enough to drive, you should have to prove you're smart enough to raise a child (the right way).

lchristi27 Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 3:48pm
post #40 of 128

The worst I ever saw was a family at Sea World last year. One of their kids got lost and they were frantically trying to find him, he came sauntering down a hill towards them. The mom was about to let him have it (as she should). And the dad stopped her and said, dont get mad at him. DONT GET MAD AT HIM? HELLO!!!

I also brought cupcakes to a girl scout picnic and one of the toddlers who came kept trying to eat the sour cherry's off of them. The dad told me to put them somewhere else. No, move your kid!

I just cant believe how so many parents dont do anything about their kids behaviors. It drives me insane!

imartsy Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 4:04pm
post #41 of 128

A friend of mine is getting married and has put "adults only reception" on her invitation. She said a friend of hers (a bridesmaid no less) was whining about all her child custody issues and crap.....and how it would be so awful if they couldn't bring their children....

I told my friend - "her child custody issues are not your problem. It's YOUR wedding. If she can't figure out a place for her children to be for a few hours, then maybe she should drop out of being a bridesmaid."

Not that my friend would want that - but I told her exactly what's been said - the kids will be bored out of their minds, the wedding isn't even until 7:00 - so the reception isn't until 8:00 - the kids will probably be bored to death by 9:00.... and for a bridesmaid to leave one hour into the reception? Seems a bit tacky.

Plus, how is the bridesmaid supposed to focus on the wedding or even enjoy it if she's trying to control her kids the whole time? Now granted, her husband is coming - but I dunno - I guess I believe the stereotype sometimes that "dad" isn't always the most watchful person. Granted, there are fabulous dads out there that would watch their children like a hawk, but I don't know this person and I just wouldn't chance it.

Again, it's my friend's wedding. Child custody issues and babysitting are NOT something she should be worrying about. And I fully support no kids at the reception. I had my two ring bearers and flowergirl and two cousins who were all under the age of 10 - but I knew their parents and I knew the parents wouldn't be drunk and they would be watching the kids like a hawk the entire time, so I wasn't worried.

mamacc Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 4:06pm
post #42 of 128

Personally, If I have to take my three kids anywhere that's not "kid friendly" I bring them stuff to occupy them!!! Duh! I'll bring snacks, drinks, acitivity books, cars, etc etc and you just keep pulling out more stuff when they get bored. This is your job as a parent!! Yet I see so many parents who bring their kids places and expect them to just sit there quietly with absolutey nothing to do. That is just not possible for young children!

DebBTX Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 4:46pm
post #43 of 128

My oldest daughter is getting married later this month. I was half-way teasing her when I suggested she write on the RSVP card, "No brats allowed, regardless of age", which would include adults. icon_lol.gif

The problem is that the people that are the worst are the very ones that don't care. I admire the decorator that saved the day for that poor Bride, but I don't have any sympathy for the parents.

My husband, children and I are actually a very kind, patient, and gracious family, but we have seen our fair share of kids that ruined all kinds of events, or made everyone in a restaurant miserable, because the parents haven't taken the time to train their children. Kids are a direct reflection of their parents and their home life. We don't want to hear someone's child in battle with the mother all through the wedding video.
I am putting my daughter's interest first to make her day and memories special. I raised my kids to be very well behaved, so I know that it can be done.

We did put "No children under 6 years of age". We have hired a secret group of ladies to attend a nursery, just in case someone ignores our request. But, it will not be advertised. Any offending parents will be politely told when they register that their child will need to go to the nursery. If the parent tries to pick up the child between the ceremony and the reception, they will be politely told that they will need to leave the child in the nursery if they plan to attend the reception. It will be done in a pleasant, but firm manner.

So far we have not received a single complaint. I think it may be a relief for everyone, with and without kids. Our guests know us, and how we really love children, but also how we feel about their behavior. They have not been offended. It is my way to try to avoid stressful situations.

I have received a big thank you for this stand from people who do not have kids in that age group. They appreciate our courage to "take the bull by the horns". It will make the evening so much more enjoyable for everyone, including the parents. These parents may need a night out to enjoy themselves.

I will also be making both cakes. I plan to hire a "cake guard". icon_lol.gif

-Debbie B.
(An older mom that is determined to not let someone else's child, or adult for that matter, ruin my child's special day.)

ziggytarheel Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 6:00pm
post #44 of 128

Sometimes the problem with the kids is neglect on the part of the parent.

More and more these days, the problem with the kids is that the parents treat them like they are the center of the universe.

I love my kids. I honestly think I got the best ones ever. Sorry, those are just the facts. icon_smile.gif But one of the biggest favors I ever did for them was teach them that although their worth is immeasurable, the universe does not revolve around them. Even as a SAHM, I made sure that my kids saw that I had friends, I had responsibilities, and we all worked together to help other people. And mommy could have conversations and activities sometimes that they were not participants in...just as they could.

I think it makes all the difference in the long run.

indydebi Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 6:09pm
post #45 of 128

Debbie B, from one Deb B to another, I salute you! thumbs_up.gif

ziggy, I did the same when my kids were small. When my then-10-year old daughter complained about "why do I have to go to bed at 8:30?" I told her "because this is MY quiet time and I intend to spend it quietly! Now go to bed!"

My low level of tolerance is triggered by those parents who believe THEY have the cutest kids (when we all know that OUR kids are the cutest, so what is their problem? icon_confused.gif ) and they think we are ALL just DYING to see the next CUTEST LITTLE THING that their little darlings are going to do!

God save me! icon_eek.gif

mommyle Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 6:37pm
post #46 of 128

Well, in truth, I have THE cutest kids!!! HAHAHA!!
I have a son who will give ANY terror out there a run for his money. But he's only 17 months, and I swear my husband is more of a handful than either of my kids. UGH! I have no problem when people say "No kids". I'm not offended, I'm happy to have a reason to leave them at home!

My daughter was the "perfect" child. She would play quietly by herself with her little toys, and I could enjoy myself. She even got invited to people's homes who are SO not 'kid-friendly". I'm not holding my breath that we'll get the same invites with our DS. That being said, I KNEW when to bring her home. The minute that she took the first running step we were gone! at the first fuss, we were out! No if's ands or buts. Even if I hadn't had supper yet, or was in the middle of it.

It's all about resposibility for yourself, your kids, and your spouse!

ziggytarheel Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 6:44pm
post #47 of 128
Originally Posted by indydebi

ziggy, I did the same when my kids were small. When my then-10-year old daughter complained about "why do I have to go to bed at 8:30?" I told her "because this is MY quiet time and I intend to spend it quietly! Now go to bed!"

The early bedtime for the little ones is becoming a long lost art. It is great for the kids and for the parents. 8:00 bedtime, and when you were old enough to read and thought you should stay up later? Fine...you can read in your bed until 8:30.

I got to relax and spend time with my husband every day. My kids had the security of a good routine and enough sleep to be manageable. And I was much better prepared to handle what the next day would bring!

-K8memphis Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 7:28pm
post #48 of 128
Originally Posted by cakegal

Oh, man.
My son's wedding is coming up this month.
I'm doing the cake...

...The cake will be set up out of the way...but you know kids.... they can find a way to get into things without even trying.
I hope all goes well. I'll probably end up cutting the cake as well....

I have a thought for you if you don't mind. You didn't ask and it's none of my business so I apologize in advance for being out of line. I don't mean for it to be. Just an observation.

Consider getting someone other than you to cut the cake even if they don't do it very well.

Two reasons

One) Being Mother of the Groom is a full time job all on it's own. Creating the cake on top of that is already going the extra kilometer. You are gonna be pretty drained.

Two) The new couple gets more attention centered on them than if we start passing out cake and collecting well deserved (but not the best time for it) compliments. In some cases it kinda creates it's own receiving line for love of our cake. I mean if you are standing there you are a captive audience. No where to run to baby no where to hide. But if someone has to come find you to complement you that's not so bad.

Lately my relatives still want me to do thier cake but choose to cut it later in the event because it's all about me after that. That could easily sound like I'm giant ego-girl but I'm not. I mostly avoid being around where my cakes are served.

So just some total random open hearted possibly dumb headed thoughts for you.

I hope your family's special day is triumphantly spectacular and shiny bright in love and all that is good. But consider giving yourself a break.

Love & Prayers,

imartsy Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 7:52pm
post #49 of 128
Originally Posted by ziggytarheel

The early bedtime for the little ones is becoming a long lost art. It is great for the kids and for the parents. 8:00 bedtime, and when you were old enough to read and thought you should stay up later? Fine...you can read in your bed until 8:30.

As a kid, and now, I'm a night-owl. I don't think I would have ever been able to sleep at 8:30....but I did go to my room.

it does seem to be becoming a lost art though - I'm amazed at the people who have kids under 6 out at 11:00 at night at restaurants and events and such. WHY? Especially if I'm out late (as an adult) and I want to eat my meal in peace at 9:00 at night.... WHY should I have to listen to your screaming child at that hour? Or why don't you at least shut them up or take them home! I just don't think young kids should be out that late - and I know it's not the kid's choice.

I do like kids most of the time and I even think sometimes at restaurants babies and young children can be very cute - when they are well behaved - but I still don't think they should be out that late.

chutzpah Posted 4 Jul 2008 , 9:14pm
post #50 of 128

Ugh... I do not like kids, and it drives me crazy to see all these disrespectful parents dragging their kids about to adult events, and not making sure they behave.


tiggerbounce Posted 5 Jul 2008 , 11:15pm
post #51 of 128

I have 3 kids. (16, 13, 11...ages)

But I abhor unbehaved kids. And I get really cranky when I make reservations for a quiet night out with dh and they seat a screaming kids at the table next to me at 8 pm. Get a sitter! Now my nice quiet, kid free evening with my dh that I rarely get, has been compromised. grrrr.

Raising kids is a huge commitment. That means as a parent we may have to stay home when we want to be out. Tough. People who are not willing to make those types of sacrifices for their kids should think harder about having them. I had to do make adjustments, too. That is just the way it works. Kids come first. I missed plenty of family events, etc just because I knew my kids would likely disturb others. And believe me, my kids are/were very well behaved. It was just unfair to fool myself into thinking that they would behave like adults and not want to run around or get bored and whiney after an hour or two. Kids just do not have that ability. They want to explore and have fun. They were kids. That is what they do best.

It is not fun for the kids to be at adult restraunts/events. They do not like the food and there is nothing for them to do. Of course they are usually going to get unruly. Why do that to them? The parents need to be spanked.

I sound like a shrew, don't I?

Sorry, but nearly EVERY time I have had the chance to be out with dh for a nice quiet meal ( usually around 8 or 9 pm), someone brings tired kids or even poor little babies out who scream, holler, run around and just completely destroy any chance of us having a pleasant evening out together. It is not the kids fault either. ( I am not talking about fast food chain restraunts either, I am talking about places that require reservations. sigh- next time I am going to demand to be re-seated away from the kids even if we are smack in the middle of our meal. Maybe the restraunts will take notice after awhile)

Kids are lovely on playgrounds, but not next to me on my two or three times in a year that I get to spend quietly with my husband out at dinner.

Ok..there it is...my evil, mean side. No fraud here. One of my biggest pet peeves ever...revealed on CC.

Back to my regularly scheduled niceness. heh.

I feel sorry for that bride. And the cake decorator is/was a saint.

imartsy Posted 6 Jul 2008 , 6:09pm
post #52 of 128

I have actually heard of some restaurants having a "family" section specifically for people with kids - so that the other diners can enjoy a nice meal without listening to little junior call "mom, mom, mom, mom" for 20 minutes. icon_smile.gif Not such an awful idea maybe

Sorry, don't know what restaurant that was - may have even been something in Europe. I heard about it on another forum that families were complaining about it. :p

itsmylife Posted 7 Jul 2008 , 3:53am
post #53 of 128

Such a nice thing for your friend to use her other cake to try to fix that poor bride's situation. I'm sure she was sooo grateful. I would love to find out if those 'parents' (I use that term loosely) ended up paying and/or staying.

I have 2 boys who are three and five. For the most part... they are well behaved, and I've gotten many compliments on their behavior from strangers. We both (DH & I) have always said that we would do whatever it took to not raise bratty, out of control kids. If we don't control them... no one else will. More importantly.... if we don't control them now while they are young.... we're doomed later on.

HOWever, they definitely have their moments.... they're kids... they get tired, cranky, stubborn etc. If we are on the verge of one of those moments, and it can't be quashed quickly, we're done. I will not ruin someone else's dinner.

If we go out to dinner with the kids, we make sure it is at a family friendly place, at a reasonable time. I love it when we are out somewhere and someone else's child is misbehaving, and my 5 year old will say something like 'that kid is not behaving mommy....his mommy or daddy needs to take him outside'. A lot of times, those are the oblivious parents.

Beckalita Posted 7 Jul 2008 , 4:46pm
post #54 of 128

I SOoooo agree with tiggerbounce!!! Lately my dh and I have started ordering and eating our dinner at the restaurant bar, since by law children cannot be seated at the bar. (Mind you, these are chain restaurants like TGI Friday's since we cannot afford the more expensive places.) But if we were at an expensive restaurant and our dinner was being ruined by a screaming, overtired child at the next table~ I would definitely demand to be reseated!

tracycakes Posted 7 Jul 2008 , 5:16pm
post #55 of 128

Even though I was unable to have kids of my own, I love children! I teach 4 year olds in children's church and love them. It's the parents I don't like. We go to a restaurant and parents are letting their kids run around while waiters try to dodge them. If I had behaved like these kids did.....well, I wouldn't because I wanted to live. The kids are raising the parents instead of the other way around.

Your friend is a wonderful lady. She definitely went above and beyond.

sadiepix Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 12:06am
post #56 of 128

Wow, I did not even see this had more comments! (I lost electricity for 4 days...ugh.)

I have since chatted with my caker friend. She received a check in the mail to cover the cost of the cake she gave of her own to save the Bride's day. Also a giftcard to Michaels as a thank-you. This was from the MIL, but signed by bride and groom also.

The note inside thanked her profusely and told her that the parents were asked (ummm...screamed at I think! icon_smile.gif) to take their kids home in a taxi (parents had been drinking) and not return if they had no intention of paying for the damage. They did not want to pay, so they left with the security escort (so they would not try to drive).

My friend acted classy, and so did the B&G and MIL. I was glad they thanked her so well, she said she has gone above the call before and gotten nothing so much as a thanks before.

As for the kids issue?
I don't have a problem with a kid behaving well in a place where kids are welcome and a normal thing. But really, is a late evening party they cannot even begin to understand a place they need to be?

My wedding reception will be a late night party after a quick outdoor ceremony. Lots of booze and adults. I doubt I would even have to put "NO KIDS" on the invites, though I will, as everyone I know knows that not only do I not like kids in general, but they would not belong at my reception by any standards, unless you are okay with your kid watching adults get a bit sauced and talk like adults until the wee hours. I mean really.

As for the folks who decline invites that say "no kids"? Well, I do hope that that means more public events, office picnics, family reunions and the like, and not a good friend or family member's wedding or special party/gathering. They invited you because they wanted to see YOU and talk to YOU and have you see their special day and share in the celebrating, not have you be distracted by your kids and keeping them well-behaved or risk that kind of bad behavior. Plus it is for adults who understand what is going on and why the day is special and requires good behavior. (Not that all adults behave either, for sure!)

It is an 'each to their own' decision whether small kids should be invited to a place where they are hosting an event. Declining because you can't bring your kids to an adult event? I can't even believe it. I am sure after awhile folks with that attitude will no longer be invited places.

There are a million places you can take your kids (and I also don't just mean fast-food with toys and clowns) and there are plenty of well-behaved kids too. Also the bad parents who don't control, but still...

I would be right in line to vote for the "Ovary turn-on test" and "Joystick battery" also!

Denise Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 3:29am
post #57 of 128

Your friend is a good egg. God bless her. It is amazing that these "parents" didn't even apologize for wrecking a cake.

There are places that children shouldn't be included. That doesn't make the hosts selfish or dislike children.

Children are just that - children. They should not be expected to act like little adults.

In our family children always attend everything. We wouldn't dream of leaving someone out. I have always tried to corral my children but even the most viligent mom can have a "Marco Polo" get away from her. I attend my cousins wedding in New Orleans in 1991. My daughter was 6 months old, my sons 3 and 1/2 and 7. My 3 year old got away from my mom (she is super mom of 5 kids) and crawled under the cake table. It was swaying. Thank GOD for the cake decorator - she did a great job of supporting that cake! It could have fell over. I would have died. Devin is still a pill at 20 - he is still Marco Polo - going here and there without warning or notice.

VannaD Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 4:16pm
post #58 of 128

Wow what a great payback for your friend, the money and a gift card, not to mention an actual thank you. I wanted to comment on the bedtime issue i have a 20 mth old and a3.5 yr old my 20 mth old goes to bed at 7:30 and the 3.5 yr old at 8:00, this is me and my husbands quiet time, if anyone even calls that late i rush them to get to the point, and i get off the phone. This weekend my 11yr old great niece (im only 21 icon_biggrin.gif ) came over with her grandparents, when i mentioned bedtime for my kids, she said "they have a bedtime? icon_eek.gif "to which i said um yeah, theyre babies. Another quick story my friend has a daughter who made 3 in march, im sure a few of you have read post about this child, well when they had her they used to stay up all night so they let her stay up all night, now they both work during the day and have another child and they dont understand why the 3yr old wont go to bed at a reasonable hour, she was never taught a bedtime, HELLO! this kid stays up until midnight then wakes up at about 3 am and gets in bed with her parents, i dont think so!!! ANyway im a firm believer in bedtimes and routines, and you can tell by looking at my kids!

mbh724 Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 5:16pm
post #59 of 128

I respect the decision of anyone who chooses not to have children at their wedding reception. They are paying for it, it's their party. For those people who think they can't attend anything their children aren't invited to, don't attend.

mushbug9 Posted 8 Jul 2008 , 6:47pm
post #60 of 128

I LOL when reading this stuff, especially the one about the kid throwing the temper tantrum in the mall would be lucky to survive...THAT is me nad my husband. LOL. We are STICKLERS for our children's out of the house behavior. I literally snap my fingers, scowl and say COME HERE and they listed...and thank god for it. My extended family is of the other mind unfortunatly. NOONE watches their kids but my sister and I. So anytime we go to any event, if our kids are there, we wnd up watching about 20 or more others (yeah, I have a HUGE family). I have never in my life felt more proud of my kids than the night my husband and I took our 2 girls and our 4 foster kids to dinner at Chili's. The ages were 14, 9,4,3,11 mo and 9 mo. We had 2 different people come over to our table while we were there to tell us how amazed they were with how well the kids behaved ect. icon_smile.gif We were beaming when we left, and every one of them got a treat for their behavior once we got home. If my kids had ever knocked down a cake, I would be mortified, and they would not be seen again for a year or so.
Your friend deserves absolute respect for her customer service skills. Its rare nowadays. Good for her.

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