Lying Cousin

Lounge By Spatulator Updated 25 Jun 2008 , 6:52pm by 7yyrt

Spatulator Posted 23 Jun 2008 , 10:23pm
post #1 of 10

I need advice, I can't talk to any of my friends or family about this, so I'm turning to CC.

My cousin recently returned from being at college for 6 years. She told everyone she had graduated, and accepted gifts and cash from my entire family.
I recently discovered that she never graduated!!!!
My cousin and I have always been close and for the past couple months I could tell she was keeping something from me.
Should I let her know that I discovered the truth?

9 replies
Texas_Rose Posted 23 Jun 2008 , 10:26pm
post #2 of 10

No, don't let her know. It sounds like she couldn't get the job done, even after six years, and was embarassed to tell people. It was tacky of her to take gifts and cash from people...but I bet she has some whopping student loans to pay off now so she may just be really hard up.

It will become obvious to all the relatives that she didn't finish, when she can't find the kind of job that she should be able to get with her degree. She's likely to tell people too, when she starts having trouble paying off the student loans.

mkolmar Posted 24 Jun 2008 , 2:57pm
post #3 of 10

I agree with Texas Rose. I wouldn't call her out on it (as much as I would probably like too) just give it time and the truth will come out on its own.

veejaytx Posted 24 Jun 2008 , 3:16pm
post #4 of 10

I agree, sooner or later she will cook her own goose, you won't have to do a thing. Lies, especially something that big, will always come back to you!

SaraO Posted 24 Jun 2008 , 9:55pm
post #5 of 10

I think you should tell her that you found out. I would suggest you bring it up in a non-confrontational way. Explain how you found out and ask her what her plans are and see how she responds. I think she would prefer that you tell her now than to pretend you don't know and let her keep up the charade.

Kiddiekakes Posted 24 Jun 2008 , 10:44pm
post #6 of 10

I wouldn't say anything either but I do think it was very tacky to have accepted all the gifts and congratulations..Boy she must have felt silly!!! That in itself probably made her feel really stupid!! The truth will come out eventually...it has a way of coming back and biting you in the A$$.

wgoat5 Posted 25 Jun 2008 , 3:11pm
post #7 of 10

Didn't anybody ask why they weren't invited to the graduation???????

I know when I graduated my mom sent out like 30 invites

snowshoe1 Posted 25 Jun 2008 , 4:13pm
post #8 of 10

You stated the two of you are close - I would discuss it with her and let her know you are there to listen. She is probably having some emotional issues about this and she has no one to talk to. Of course, it may initially backfire on you, but at least she'll know you are there for her (if you want to be).

michellenj Posted 25 Jun 2008 , 5:39pm
post #9 of 10

How did you find out? Is it 100% proof? And it couldn't be a mistake? I'd just make sure that I was totally correct before I did anything. I mean, let's just say for argument's sake that she did graduate and a web site wasn't updated yet. Just make sure you have accurate info, before you do anything. What if you didn't make sure, and never said anything, but let this become a wedge between you?

If it is true that she lied about graduating and took all the gifts, she should be ashamed of herself, and she probably is, and feels like a big ol' fraud. I'm not sure that you confronting her would accomplish anything. Other than letting her know that you are hurt she lied.

7yyrt Posted 25 Jun 2008 , 6:52pm
post #10 of 10

Did you, or your mom and dad give her a gift? If so, tell mom quietly what you have heard. Mom can handle it from there.

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