So Now Im Really Mad!

Decorating By Karema Updated 19 Jun 2008 , 7:53pm by ShortcakesSweets

Karema Posted 16 Jun 2008 , 11:35pm
post #1 of 44

First off this is long...Im so sorry but I need to vent a little. So I work from home and have been doing cakes for about a year in total but was looking to start working a little more. I met with a friend of my husbands and she loved to decorate cakes also. She showed me the pictures of her work and I thought she was really good. So we got an order for a wedding cake and I agreed that we would split the profit 50/50. When It came time to do it she really didnt know as much as I thought and she didnt even show up 1 and a 1/2 days that we had to work. She was busy. But I had already given her her half of the money and ended up doing most of the work alone. Then we agreed that we would get more business and I would get 2/3 and she would get the rest since I knew a little more. After we finished the cake I kept trying reach her and she wouldn't answer. Kept saying her phone was messed up. Then she ran into me at the supermarket and said "Oh I was coming to your house today to pick up my mixer" Now I'm really pissed because she knows my mixer is broke and I have two cakes to do. She said she wanted to make a cake for her house. I gave it to her and had to go through he** to borrow a mixer from someone else. Then I went to her house the other day after I called first and of course no answer. I walk in her house and she is on her phone that doesnt work and she is like "ohh your here. " I was going to call you. Then she is talking all non chalantly about these cake orders she got and how they came out raw and she missed one sale. I'm looking like WHAT! She took her mixer to make her own orders when we agreed on getting orders together. Then she lied about why she needed it and then got busted. Do you think I should just be done with her and never work with her again or talk to her about it and see what she says. I'm so hurt... icon_cry.gif I thought she was a friend. Am I too nice?

43 replies
Luby Posted 16 Jun 2008 , 11:51pm
post #2 of 44

I would end that partnership immediately!

ChunkyMonkey Posted 16 Jun 2008 , 11:53pm
post #3 of 44

Based on the information provided, I would say yes you are too nice.

I think it is never a good idea to go into business, however informally, with someone that you know on such a limited basis. I have several very close friends that while I love dearly would never go into business with them. I think that is a very intimate sort of relationship.

Since you mention how substandard her skills are in comparison to your own, I then ask, what really is she bringing to the table? If you guys are a team, people will see her slackness as an extension of you.

Personally I would cut this cord before it ends up killing your cake reputation.

Not to mention the damage it most likely have on her friendship with your husband.

Just my .02

JoAnnB Posted 16 Jun 2008 , 11:54pm
post #4 of 44

I'm sorry you had this happen. Be done with her. She is untruthful and unreliable.

dawncr Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:32am
post #5 of 44
Originally Posted by Karema

Do you think I should just be done with her and never work with her again?


She's dishonest, incompetent, selfish, and utterly without any sense of how to treat others. You can do very well on your own, and will build your own clientele on your reputation and honesty.

Exactly why is it your DH is friends with her? And, what does he think about this whole situation? (I don't think he should do anything about this, I'm just wondering.)

foxymomma521 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:01am
post #6 of 44

Hello fellow Buffalonian!! I'm sorry this happened to you, and agree with the others, you are better off without her. Good Luck with whatever you choose... (p.s. your cakes are beautiful)

DoniB Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:08am
post #7 of 44

from the info provided, she sounds like an opportunistic backstabber to me. You'd do much better on your own!

FeGe_Cakes Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:16am
post #8 of 44

Just depends on your personality and your "friendship". If it was me, I would be done. I would NOT call to explain why. Just cut your loses and move on.

If you are not like me and need closure, tell her exactly how you feel and why you will no longer be "sharing the work" with her.

Good Luck!

michellenj Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:18am
post #9 of 44

She sounds likea loony bird, and a LIAR, too! Stay away from her! At least you learned she is not to be trusted, before you really got into business with her.

twooten173 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:58am
post #10 of 44

Run! You don't want to be in business with someone you cannot trust. AND more importantly, what if she does something that could reflect poorly on you, e.g. miss an order.

Karema Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 2:08am
post #11 of 44

My husband has known her for about 20 years so he calls her his big sis. They aren't really that close but the whole time she kept making me angry he kept saying "well honey you have to be understanding she is going through a lot right now and I dont think she meant anything by it and you are reading too much into this" I think that hurt me more. He just couldnt get why I was investing so much emotions into this and that was frustrating. I am going to call her and let her know that I kind of didnt like how things ended but I will still be a friend but just not to do business because it's just to stressful. My husband will one day see that Im just not too emotional my feelings are validated (I hope) icon_sad.gif

leah_s Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:20pm
post #12 of 44

What everyone else said.

Run like the wind.

oliveoyle Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:25pm
post #13 of 44

good for you.That is the kind of business partner that noone needs.JMO

amy2197 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:28pm
post #14 of 44

IMOP I'd tell my husband that no matter what she's "going through" that gives her no right to lie and try to walk all over people

darandon Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:31pm
post #15 of 44

I was just discussing a very similar sitation last night with my friend - we watch a neighborhood friendship turn into busines, that then turned in to backstabbing taling about drama.
I don't think I would ever go into business with a friend - unless it was in writing and a equal partnership.
Sorry it turned out bad for you.

miss_sweetstory Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:33pm
post #16 of 44

She is using you, and your husband. He needs to support you. Sever all business ties with this woman. Treat her cordially for the sake of your relationship with your hubby, but be "too busy" to work with her again. Oh, and keep your eyes open for a new KA will be one the best purchases you ever make. My best to you!

*edited for spelling

auntiecake Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:39pm
post #17 of 44

A true friend will not take advantage of you! Bow out gracefully and do your own thing. Sorry it is a tough situation, but don't let it get worse and keep eating at you.

Dee1219 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:40pm
post #18 of 44

I would stay away from her far far away. I went into business with a "friend" and it ended very badly!! And I knew her quite well. If your going to do this do it on your own. If your feeling like your being lied to now, imagine it in a year!!! I HIGHLY suggest you do not do this!!

poshcakedesigns Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:41pm
post #19 of 44

Some friend!!!
I'd be done with her too - guess it's good you found out this soon into the business deal than later.

You can do this alone - a bunch of us do and we make it just fine. Just budget your time.

mcelromi1 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:56pm
post #20 of 44

She took her mixer knowing you would need it to complete your orders, yet she was taking her own orders.
It doesn't seem to me as if she was concerned/worried about what you needed. It was all about what she needed. If you were suppose to be partners, why couldn't she just tell you about the orders she had. It seems to me that she wanted to keep her profits and split yours.
If your doing most of the work yourself, why do you need he?
Invest in a mixer (it will be well worth it) and let her know that you've changed your mind.
If its stressful and fustrating now and she's not pulling her own weight it will probably get worse before it gets any better.

Good Luck in whatever you decide!

peg818 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 12:57pm
post #21 of 44

personally, i agree with the others end the business relation, it isn't going to work.

I would tell her that your schedules aren't jiving for the business, so you would prefer to work by yourself, but would like to refer any business overflow to her if she would be willing to take them on.

luvscakes Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:07pm
post #22 of 44

Oh I am so sorry this has happened to you!
I had a similar experience with my SIL and now I know why you should never do business with family!
I (like everyone else) think you need to make a run for the hills- forget it all happened and if she wants to do a business alone let her!
If she doesn't know what she is doing your biz will be much more successful anyway.

robinscakes Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:10pm
post #23 of 44

Time to wrap that relationship up!!! She obviously doesn't know as much as she said, and if she's turning out raw cakes, do you really want your name attached to that? She seems to be unreliable and not really as into the business aspect of this as you do. She also has been dishonest with you (taking orders on her own, using her broken phone...). Cut those ties now!

I'd probably say something like, "I think I'm just the kind of person who works better alone," rather than point out all of her faults. You don't need anyone trashing your name if feelings get hurt.

...and invest in your own new mixer icon_wink.gif

Mike1394 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:15pm
post #24 of 44

Honestly, she lied to you plain, and simple. Kick her butt to the curb. Tell hubby about the lies. If he don't agree. Get him to buy a new mixer, and then use the boot again. I abhor liars, no use for them.


summernoelle Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 1:21pm
post #25 of 44

She is dishonest AND selfish. You need to get her out of your business.

potatocakes Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 2:13pm
post #26 of 44

Am I reading it right that you paid her half for the wedding cake, then she didn't show up to do the work on it? Did she give you any money back at all? Then she took orders on her own and didn't tell you about them so you didn't get to split any profits on "her" orders? Absolutely RUN, RUN, RUN, and please, don't be shy about telling her why!!!

Karema Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 2:21pm
post #27 of 44

Yes you have it right. I did give her half and she had an emergancy and couldnt make it some of the time. She did not give me any money back. There is just so much to this story it's not even funny any more. She is going through a crisis so I tried to be there for her but I think I was taken for fool. I keep telling myself that she is nice and maybe doesnt even realize what is going on. Maybe stress is really getting to her and I'm not even on her mind when she makes these decisions. I dont know anymore.

Iheartcake Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 2:37pm
post #28 of 44

karema wrote:


Then she is talking all non chalantly about these cake orders she got and how they came out raw and she missed one sale.

That right there should be your indication to get out.. word of mouth goes a long way and if this is how she's treating cake orders, you're name is going to be associated with hers and could damage your business.

mom2spunkynbug Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 2:37pm
post #29 of 44

Like potatocakes said - end the business relationship & don't be shy in telling her why! I wouldn't say anything to "soften the blow" or make her seem not so bad. What she did was wrong & if she doesn't know it, she ought to be told!

That's ridiculous!

And what's more ridiculous is that your dh isn't backing you up! WHY is he sticking up for her?!

I'd be pissed.

moxey2000 Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 2:43pm
post #30 of 44

I don't think you need to sever your 'business relationship' since you never really had one. I think you should just go on with the business yourself, don't include her. When she comes to you eventually, which she will, wanting to do 'business' again, just gently tell her that you don't think it's a good idea. Tell her that business ruins friendships and since she's an old friend of your DH you don't want anything to come between you two. She's a selfish person so the way to handle the situation is to make it seem all about her. Also, don't try to convince your DH that she's psycho, just say the same thing to him - you don't want to ruin 'their' friendship, so it's best to just be friends. Say it all sincerely and sweetly and mean it. They'll get it. Good luck!

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