Is Three Weeks Too Long To Wait For A Stinkin' Thank You???

Baking By Bellatheball Updated 17 Jun 2008 , 3:20pm by Bellatheball

Bellatheball Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 2:52am
post #1 of 15

Ok so I'm over 8 months pregnant and my inlaws offered to take my toddler for a week so I could get some rest before the new baby comes (bless their hearts). We traveled to their house to drop my daughter off and to attend my husband's cousin's graduation party. As part of our gift, I made her twenty 5 inch cookies in the shape of her soon-to-be college mascot. Each image was hand piped and the cookies were bagged etc. She loved them and thanked me over and over for them.

During the party, another aunt came up to me and wanted to know if I'd make the same cookies for HER daughter's birthday party. I asked when she needed them and she said they'd be for the following weekend. If I agreed, that'd mean that I'd spend two nights of my "resting week" making cookies for her. My DH and I were really looking forward to some quiet dinners and watching a few movies. So, I politely told her that we had a busy week planned and that the cookies would take me two nights etc etc. Long story short, she wouldn't take my polite refusals and I wound up agreeing mostly because I didn't want to hurt her daughter's feelings.

I made the stupid cookies and left them at my inlaws so the aunt could get them the day of the party. That was three weeks ago and I haven't heard a word about them since. She didn't call or email to tell me that they got them, that they liked them, or even that they sucked. I'm not holding my breath that I'll get a thank you. I just needed to vent to people who'd understand.

14 replies
misha35 Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 3:10am
post #2 of 15

How kind of you to go ahead & make them!!!

Non baking people just don't understand.

dl5crew Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 3:14am
post #3 of 15

Rude people never learn. She was rude to even ask you to make them. This was your week to rest. Her persistence proves her lack of manners. I would email her about them. In the email I would mention that you haven't heard from her since you agreed to do them for her. Just be blunt, sometimes that's all people understand.

indydebi Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 3:19am
post #4 of 15

I think being a non-baking person has nothing to do with it. She's clearly a rude, crude and pretty inconsiderate person! I mean, who in their right mind would ask a woman who was 8+ months pregnant to do ANYTHING as a favor to them??? icon_eek.gif I wouldn't ask you to run to the store to get me a bandaid if I had just cut my finger off! Good lord, you are days away from having a baby and she asks you to make her a bunch of cookies.

And you think you're gonna get a thank you card from her?

You're way more optimistic than I am! icon_wink.gif

JanH Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 3:31am
post #5 of 15

Visions of Melvira, working to the very end.... icon_lol.gif

You were very kind to use so much of your "free" time to make those elaborate birthday cookies.

I'm sure your cousin enjoyed the cookies, very much! icon_smile.gif

gateaux Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 3:36am
post #6 of 15

People make me laugh and cry and just get so upset sometime.

Could you ask to MIL how I'll assume it's your DH's "Aunt" liked the cookies. That might light a fire somewhere? If you are not comfortable doing that it's good to be on here and get support.

Or you could call the Aunt and directly ask, with a big smile on your face. Sicne I had not heard from you. I just wanted to make sure that you got the cookies and that they were not lost somewhere since I worked so hard on them.
That might send you into labor too. So not sure you want to do that either.
But if you have the strengh and a nice smile while you talk it might go over.

Been there done that. So many people say written thank you's are overated, but you know what they love to get them. They are only overated when they have to write them.

All the best with the new Baby.

Good Luck.

millicente Posted 11 Jun 2008 , 3:31pm
post #7 of 15

I would to see if they got them. If you don't get a thank you then. well no ore freebies for them

Bellatheball Posted 12 Jun 2008 , 5:26am
post #8 of 15

I actually asked my MIL if the aunt picked up the cookies. My MIL was upset too that I never got a thank you or even an acknowledgment that they received them. I'm evil and I am tempted to email and ask her if she ever got them because I never heard from her. icon_evil.gif

gateaux Posted 12 Jun 2008 , 2:35pm
post #9 of 15

I say you e-mail or call if you are up to it.

But if you dont gently point out that she is so rude, how are her kids ever going to learn anything.

Another thing you could do, I guess is call her daughter and ask her if she got the cookies? Gently asking if she liked then and see if you get a thank you.
Then if she does, you could say, well I am glad, I just had not heard from you and thought that you did not get them and remind her that it's always nice to thank people when they GO WAY OUT OF THEIR WAY (8+months prego) and take time out of their "mini vacation" to make some really nice cookies for them. icon_cry.gif

ok. ..... off the soapbox. Someone has to teach these kids, manners and respect I tell you.
I am on a rampage this morning -- any more rude people problems? thumbsdown.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif Let me at them.....

Good Luck.

Joanne914 Posted 15 Jun 2008 , 3:00pm
post #10 of 15

Inquiring minds want to know.....did you EVER hear from her????

grama_j Posted 15 Jun 2008 , 3:09pm
post #11 of 15

It isn't even a WRITTEN thank you that is desired.... a simple phone call or e-mail wouldn't take to much time out of her day !!! Surely not as much time it took out of Bells "resting" week ! icon_mad.gif

Omicake Posted 15 Jun 2008 , 3:11pm
post #12 of 15

Bellatheball,
She might surprise you with a great baby present when your Baby is born.Let's hope it comes true!

floophs Posted 15 Jun 2008 , 3:17pm
post #13 of 15

I don't think this is a baking issue either. Some people are either clueless or just don't think it's a big deal to write thank you notes so they never do.

We have some friends who have 4 young boys. I thought we would bless them by giving them 3 huge garbage bags of clothes for their kids (I asked before hand to make sure they were ok with it...I didn't want to offend them.) I know for a fact that they don't make a lot of money and I really just wanted to bless them. Anyways, I never heard boo from them...never heard if they fit...never got a thank you. I mean really, how hard is it to send a thank you after getting a ton of free, nice clothes?!. I feel bad but I just can't bring myself to give them our children's clothes anymore. If I would have just gotten a thank you, I probably would have continued. But I didn't feel like they truly appreciated it (even though they hopefully did).

My mom sent a thank you for EVERYTHING. So because I was raised that way I'm very sensitive about that kind of thing. I really do think if you grow up learning that then you will do it as an adult.

Good luck with your baby!

Bellatheball Posted 16 Jun 2008 , 2:18am
post #14 of 15

Thanks for all the kind words. I finally emailed her tonight to ask if her daughter received the cookies and to find out if she liked them. I suppose it was a bit passive aggressive of me but, you know, those things take a ton of work. I'll let you know if I hear back. icon_mad.gif

Bellatheball Posted 17 Jun 2008 , 3:20pm
post #15 of 15

So I finally got a response from her. She said they got them and they "tasted fine." icon_confused.gif Because we live so many hours from her, I had to make them 10 days before the actual party so I sort of understand the "they tasted fine" part. Still. What has happened to manners?

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