Need To Vent

Decorating By dare2bloved Updated 5 Oct 2008 , 2:49am by mbpbrighteyes

dare2bloved Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 6:13am
post #1 of 24

Ok I have just started doing cakes and I love it. I have made a few small cakes for family members and am now starting to do cakes for others. Everytime I start to make a cake for someone my mother starts asking me what am I going to make or what icing am I going to use. She nor my Dad like the taste of fondant so they think it is stupid do even put it on the cake. I made a cake today for a family member (graduation stacked books and cap) and they told everyone your not to eat the fondant, it jsut for looks. Everyone was telling me they loved it was so good and it went fast. Whe I was cleaning up I noticed the the cake was all gone but the fondant was left...lol I'm not sure if they even tried it. If I try to do something to challange myself she starts in with why do you make it so hard? whey can't you make it easy with decoratioin? (like Wal-mart) My Dad starts in how long s it going to take you to do that? well, you must only make 2.00 an hr....He says that no one will pay as much as i'm asking for the cakes. ( I charge 1.50 or 2.00 a slice) I just enjoy this so much and want my family to be glad for me. I mean my family is who I have to practice on...lol I don't know maybe I am expecting them to feel the same way I do about cakes. Just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.

23 replies
veejaytx Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 6:32am
post #2 of 24

Instead of listening to their comments, concentrate on how much you are enjoying what you do, and how much pleasure you can give by baking and decorating cakes for people (whether they eat the fondant or not.)

Maybe just a tiny hint to your DM that she doesn't need to tell people not to eat the fondant, let people try it for themselves.

FromScratch Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 6:56am
post #3 of 24

What fondant are you using? If it's the Wilton brand then I can see why no one would want to eat it.. it's not the best tasting stuff around and I'd pick it off too. Now if you are using better fondant then tell your momma to shove it.. nicely of course icon_lol.gif.

It's hard for people who don't love to do cakes to get excited about the actual cake making.. but they should be happy for *you*. And if they scoff at your prices.. tell them that this beeotch up in NH charges $5 a slice for her fondant covered cakes.. icon_wink.gif That should shut 'em up. You are giving cakes away at those prices.

I say let them say what they want.. but if you love caking.. keep at it. And when daddums asks you why you would spend so much time making something that is just going to get eaten.. just smile and tell him because you can and it makes you happy. That's all that matters. And when they look at you like you just gave birth to a 2 ton rhino when you are charging a WAY more than fair price.. tell them you aren't walmart and can't buy your ingredients in SUPER BULK. (((hugs))) non-cakers just don't quite understand this cake thing like we cakers do.

dare2bloved Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 7:06am
post #4 of 24

jkalman I am using the MMF from here that I think you told me about when I first joined. It does taste better. Thank you both for the respond. I guess your right and I should not take it so much to heart. I'm not going to give up this is something I have always wanted to do and am just getting around to doing it. Thanks again for being a sounding board....

Curtsmin24 Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 7:20am
post #5 of 24

oh, sweety welcome to the family and trust me this is only the beginning. I went through the same thing and I still go through it with my family. It just seems like they don't like anything I do. They feel like I put too much into my desserts and cakes. My mom and sister always request the same thing strawberry shortcake and chocolate cake. They were talking about one of my relatives in puerto rico who bakes cakes and how her cakes are fabulous and they taste so good. I simply told them that if and when they were willing to try a different flavor I would bring it to them but they feel like my prices are too high. I go to culinary school and I charge what it is worth, it doesn't matter who it is. If they want something simple then thats what they shall recieve. My sister even said she was willing to pay my aunt to come out here and make her a wedding cake. I just smiled and said it's okay. I don't let them bring me down because I have had plenty of other people tell me that I am talented and that I am going to make it in this business. I pride myself in doing my best and knowing in my heart that I gave my customer 100% and to me that is all that really matters. icon_biggrin.gif So keep your spirits high and be proud of what you do. Unfortunately family will never be happy with anything. You either don't do enough or you do too much.

dare2bloved Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 7:37am
post #6 of 24

Well, I'm not going to stop trying. I the cake I did today was a stacked book (my brother ask me to do one for his son and I asked what flavor ? He said, Oh just the basic half/half) I would not tell any of them what I was doing, It was a surprise....So I'm learning to just do what I want and not tell them what I'm doing. lol I felt like I could have done a better job on my cake, but since I did not have any instructions and just look at pics on CC I just jumped out there a gave it a try. Now I'm going to add pic tom and let you guys tell me what I could have done to make it better. I have learn more from here.

shisharka Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 8:13am
post #7 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by dare2bloved

... and they told everyone your not to eat the fondant, it jsut for looks. Everyone was telling me they loved it was so good and it went fast. Whe I was cleaning up I noticed the the cake was all gone but the fondant was left...lol.




Most of my cakes over the last year (when I ventured into decorating) have been covered in fondant, and I have *explicitly* told all friends and family âDonât eat this junk, itâs just to be pretty!â (well, unless they really want to, but I donât get many volunteers). Iâve baked half of my life and my cakes are generally from scratch, though recently I branched out into organic doctored mixes, so while technically edible, fondant is not designed to be eaten on those cakes, I even consider how easy it would be to pull it off before serving it, while cake is still in the making! ⦠(I use Choco-Pan and SatinIce).

With that said, I constantly get âYouâre NOT making a cake for so-and-so, are you?!â from my husband⦠He means it in the best possible way â not another couple of sleepless nights, not another fretting over how it would turn out and so forth⦠But the bottom line for me is that I am not making the cake for so-and-so, I am making it for *myself* -- because I enjoy it, even if it is 3am â and so-and-so just happens to be my present excuse for making a cake⦠So it you feel the same way, just brush off any negative family remarks and stride ahead â people in general love cake, especially a homemade one, regardless what they may say! Best of luck!

Curtsmin24 Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 8:45am
post #8 of 24
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But the bottom line for me is that I am not making the cake for so-and-so, I am making it for *myself* -- because I enjoy it, even if it is 3am â and so-and-so just happens to be my present excuse for making a cakeâ¦




Thats exactly how I feel!!!! thumbs_up.gif It's like my spa treatment, I only enjoy it when I am doing it alone....

That is why I said that if I am proud of what I do then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's like I tell my hubby, if you choose a career doing something you love to do and you decide to go to school and pay for it, then why should it matter to anyone else. He is pursuing a career in fashion and his grandmother is trying to tell him to drop out of school and be an electrician or to go to a trade school.

Not that I don't respect her or her opinion, but he and I are making this investment and I see his potential so i'm trying to show him from my point of view. She even had the nerve to tell him he was obese!!! I told him that I am happy with the way he looks and that no matter what he did his family wasn't going to agree with anything. It hurts like crap but sometimes we need to realize that we are in charge of our destiny and the choices that we make are going to affect us more than anyone else ( of course it all depends on the situation)

.....and I am very proud of you for not quiting!!! thumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gif The worse thing you can do is give them a reason to say " I told you so". On a personal note, when I am told that I can't do something it makes me try harder because in my eyes anything is possible if you put your heart, mind, and soul into it. If the many inventors quit when people thought they were crazy and it wasn't possible, we would not have telephones, electricity, and all of the crazy technology that we have today.

dare2bloved Posted 9 Jun 2008 , 9:56pm
post #9 of 24

your right ladies. I feel better. I do think of it as a spa treatment for myself. Your right I guess they don't understand those late nights are fun...lol for us....And I hope the best for you and your husband. Tell him to stay with it. I have had alot of job and just to make the bills and take care of my kids. Now my children are older (my youngest is a SR) and I want to do this for me, because I want to do something I enjoy doing. I hope to one day own my business. thanks guys

SweetResults Posted 10 Jun 2008 , 2:23am
post #10 of 24

Once I was having a tough time with a cake and was grumbling and swearing and DH sarcastically said,"Having fun?" I asked him if he's ever sworn on the golf course and if so, does he still enjoy it and want to go back? That shut him up pretty quick! icon_wink.gif

TexasSugar Posted 10 Jun 2008 , 2:42am
post #11 of 24

My mother's favorite saying to me is "if it where me I would have done..." It use to drive me crazy and sometimes still can if I'm in a mood. But I really try to just ignore her. You have to, of they will just drive you up the wall.

You could try talking to them about it. They may acutally mean something else than what they are saying. And then again they may just be clueless! icon_wink.gif

pasteles73 Posted 10 Jun 2008 , 2:51am
post #12 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by dare2bloved

and they told everyone your not to eat the fondant, it jsut for looks. Everyone was telling me they loved it was so good and it went fast.




I too agree that, the Wilton fondant is really bad icon_razz.gif But i know i used the Stain Ice brand and it was really good. Everyone ate it up when i used it on my cake. You should concentrate on how much you enjoy making the cakes and who cares if they eat the fondant or not. It is all about the satisfaction on creating a wonderful 'masterpiece' icon_biggrin.gif

Happy Decorating icon_lol.gif

amy2197 Posted 10 Jun 2008 , 2:51am
post #13 of 24

My mom is always my worst critic. She doesn't like to try anything new. Gets mad if I'm bringing anything besides vanilla cake and vanilla buttercream. My cakes are never large enough (she thinks she should be able to eat leftover cake for a week). I've just learned to ignore her. Maybe eventually she'll shut up and realize everything isn't about her.

dldbrou Posted 10 Jun 2008 , 3:12am
post #14 of 24

I have learned that when someone (usually family) tries to correct, give their opinion or discourage what I am doing, it is usually because they are trying to prove to everyone that they know more than I do. I will always say, well if you can do better, go right ahead and try or it's my therapy from noisy family and it's cheaper than a doctor. Some people just have to build them selves up and in the process put you down in the guise of "I don't want your feelings to get hurt". Well, guess who is actually hurting my feelings. Just this past weekend when I made my son's Grooms cake, (all he wanted was plain chocolate cake, no decorating) I had a niece come up to me and say, "I sure miss your cakes that you made for my birthdays and I would love for you to make my little girls birthday cakes from now on." That was the best praise I have gotten in a long time. So, keep on doing what you love and then the nay-sayers will see that you are not giving up and are getting compliments from others. You will be validated for all your hard work when it counts.

seasonsmoke Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 3:22am
post #15 of 24

My friends are sure tired of the word cake coming out of my mouth. There for a while cake is all I talked about. I'm sorry that your family is not more supportive. My parents are supportive most of the time. My husband does not understand it and sort of gets out of the way. But when I'm working on a cake. My day job never enters my mind. Cake decorating cake be a great stree releif.

Keep at it if you enjoy it.

CarolAnn Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 3:49am
post #16 of 24

What jkalman said............

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I say let them say what they want.. but if you love caking.. keep at it. And when daddums asks you why you would spend so much time making something that is just going to get eaten.. just smile and tell him because you can and it makes you happy. That's all that matters. And when they look at you like you just gave birth to a 2 ton rhino when you are charging a WAY more than fair price.. tell them you aren't walmart and can't buy your ingredients in SUPER BULK. (((hugs))) non-cakers just don't quite understand this cake thing like we cakers do.




They'll never understand so you just have to learn to ignore the comments.
I don't knit but I wouldn't begrudge a knitter doing her thing day and night if it's what she loves doing and it makes her happy. If it's soothing, productive and fun ( it is for me) and not taking food out of the kids and dh's mouths I say good for us! My mom couldn't care less what makes me happy so what she says doesn't bother me. But my MIL is my biggest supporter and fan and loves everything I do. I say go for it and have a great time!! And post some pics already, while you're at it!!

indydebi Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 11:32am
post #17 of 24

Family is the WORST! I say never look to family for support because you'll never find it. I especially love the ones who have never been in business who try to tell you how to run a business. icon_lol.gif

Cake Civilian: Well if it were me, I wouldn't go to all of that trouble, I'd do it this way.....
Debi: Then it's a good thing you're not the one doing it then, huh?

Eisskween Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 12:01pm
post #18 of 24

Sometimes I get people who say don't eat the fondant, it's just for looks. I would say (sweetly, of course) that it is a personal preference. Some like it, some don't. And you don't know if you will like something or not until you've tried it.

Personally, I do not like it. It's too sweet for me. (I don't even like cake anymore LOL! Too many scraps I guess.)

I agree with the one poster though, that Wilton fondant is horrible. I made Rhonda's MMF for the first time for a cake last week and received great feedback! Rhonda's MMF Rocks!

Enjoy your day!
Best,
Karen

marmalade1687 Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 4:28pm
post #19 of 24

One of the first times I made MMF, I sent it to my husband's work to get critical feedback. He mentioned in passing that it was made of marshmallows, and half the room wouldn't even touch it because they didn't like the taste or texture of marshmallows. Goes to show you that preconceptions are firmly set in everyone's brains, not just family!! icon_confused.gif

tiersfromheaven Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 9:19pm
post #20 of 24

I am somewaht relieved to read there are other family members who simply can not be nice! My mother is so critical of everything I do. She always has something negative to say and it is not even preceded with an "I like d this but. . ."

Because of this I don't bother with even showing her my latest cakes anymore. My sister however did show mom the cake I made for MIL (who is insanely supportive of my caking). My sis said Mom was rendered speechless and could not hide her jealousy. I felt vindicated!!

There will come a day when you will make a cake so great that the naysayer's will be rendered speechless. Don't give up or you will never get this opportunity.

Ruth0209 Posted 4 Oct 2008 , 10:12pm
post #21 of 24

These posts make me so grateful for my mother. My whole life she has made me feel special. She had high expectations for me, but encouraged me to try everything, and has always thought everything I've done is brilliant. All my friends in high school loved to spend time at our house because she was so encouraging and supportive of them, too. I'm 53 years old now and she is 75. I've been doing cakes for several years, and she thinks every one of them is amazing. I sometimes forget what a gift she is until I hear other people describe how their parents belittle and discourage them.

All I can recommend is to know and trust yourself better than they do, and realize that their criticism has to do with their own unhappiness and insecurity. It honestly doesn't have anything to do with you. And take it as a lesson and do better with your own children. I'm going to go give my mom a big hug and a kiss now and thank her!!

indydebi Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 1:49am
post #22 of 24

Ruth you are very blessed! I hope I did a good enough job with my kids so they think that highly of me! thumbs_up.gif Of course my oldest daughter does threaten me with "Shady Pines, Ma, Shady Pines!" once in awhile! icon_lol.gif

Deb_ Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 2:20am
post #23 of 24

I, like Ruth was blessed with a wonderful close family. Both my Mom and Dad are deceased now, but they were always full of praise and words of encouragement for all of their children and our spouses. I miss them terribly icon_sad.gif
I'm the youngest of 8 children and although I'm in my 40's my older siblings still consider me the "baby" of the family.
I actually have the opposite problem in that they are constantly bragging about my work. I was at a family wedding last weekend, and people I never met before were coming up to me saying "Oh, your the talented little sister that Rose is always talking about" icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif "you're the baby sister that paints and bakes" icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif I never quite know how to react to this.

I'm sorry for those of you that don't get the support and encouragement from your parents and siblings. My DH's family is like that and I see what it does to him. Ruth is right, it has nothing to do with you personally, it's these people that are insecure or unhappy. Please don't let them kill your spirit, keep doing what makes YOU happy and stop worrying about what they think.

I don't understand what these people gain by their negative comments, but it's their problem not yours, don't let it eat away at you. icon_wink.gif

mbpbrighteyes Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 2:49am
post #24 of 24

I totally understand!! My mom, who would rather eat hardly flavored whipping cream for frosting, tells me every time I use buttercream, that my cake is sickening sweet.... yeah... thanks mom!! That's why there's no other complaints, and no cake left!!! I try to just let it go, but still cringe every time I know she's eating a piece with BC!

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