If My Husband Walked In My Shoes For One Day...he'd Die!

Lounge By nancylynwallace Updated 5 Jun 2008 , 6:15pm by TheCakerator

nancylynwallace Posted 2 Jun 2008 , 10:39pm
post #1 of 16

I'm tired! Got up at 5:00a.m. Did a load of laundry, walked the dog, got ready for work, packed lunch for DH and myself, worked 10 hours (ran out on my lunch break doing errands for DH). Came home, walked the dog again, folded and put away the laundry, baked a cake and made 5 quarts of icing, vacuumed the house, started dinner and my husband just walked into the house, dropped everything in the floor, pulled off his shoes and socks and is laying back in the recliner with the remote in his hand waiting for dinner, talking about what a hard day he had! icon_eek.gif I swear, he would die if he had to do what I do in a day's time! Then he wonders why I collapse after 9:00! Sorry, I had to vent! Does anyone else out there feel this way or is it just me?

15 replies
leily Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 1:02am
post #2 of 16

I will make this short or it will be a book =)

Yep completely understand and somedays think the same thing.

lardbutt Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 5:26am
post #3 of 16

I hear ya sista! Women are NOT the weaker sex!

VannaD Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 7:06pm
post #4 of 16

im a SAHM but I completely feel you. I have a 3yr old and 1.5 yr old and a new puppy, that DH had to have. All day im either cleaning, fixing meals, putting kids on the potty, or cleaning up pee from the dog, ugh, and DH mentioned last week he thought we should try for a boy, im not kidding when i say i literally laughed out loud, and he just didnt know why. Well hes never taken both the kids anywhere by himself, nor has he ever taken care of both of them by himself except for maybe 4 hrs at a time, during which he calls me constantly...I once mentioned to my SIL how i would love to sit with my feet propped up in the evenings or would love to sit on the couch and watch 4 hrs of football or nascar or whatever sport but as moms wwe just dont get to do that, we have full time jobs and then tons of overtime too, if only we got paid! I know there are ppl out there who work and have kids or stay at home all day with more than 2 kids, and my hat goes off to you guys, b/c i know i could not do it.

ziggytarheel Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 8:09pm
post #5 of 16

Some of the best advice we ever received was from our pastor during pre-marital counseling:

"Lay down the tracks ahead of time so the train can run smoothly."

We've been married over 25 years now, and that is such excellent advice. We sat down then and we still do it now, and decide who is going to do what. I think that really cuts down on the frustration of unmet expectations and feeling put upon.

I have a bit of a physical disability, so there are some jobs that were once both of ours that now are his alone. He never complains, but he often doesn't do it when I would like it done or how I would like it done. And that just has to be okay most of the time, because I'm the wife, not the mommy.

So I really do recommend having a pow-wow. Not a fuss at the husband sort of thing, but a realistic look at what it takes to run the house and what you CAN do. And seeing what he can do.

I think the problem women tend to have with this is that men tend to think maybe 50% of what we think is important really is. So there has to be a meeting of the minds. You know?

michellenj Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 8:14pm
post #6 of 16

I know exectly where you are coming from. I do EVERYTHING! DH cannot even be bothered to put his dirty socks away, he just stuffs them into the sofa where he takes them off. I'm a SAHM, but still! It would be nice if he bothered to put forth a little effort to do anything. After ds was born, I had to go back to work b/c of finances (i.e. he was playing around too much and not working enough) and was working 80+ hours a week in a salaried position, only had three days off the whole month of August (which was the slow season) and not one single time did he make dinner or go to the grocery store, other than to get things that he needed.

And he wonders why he doesn't get any.

indydebi Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 8:37pm
post #7 of 16

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? icon_eek.gif

When a man has a day off, he does NOTHING because "...Hey! It's my day off!"

When a woman has a day off, she has to work her butt off to catch up on all the work she can't get to during the week because no one will help her do it!

Hubby tried telling me "I dont' see you mowing the yard!" So I told him, "Oh buddy boy, I'll GLADLY trade you a job that takes a couple of hours every TEN FREAKIN' DAYS for 3 or 4 months in the summer for cooking dinner, doing dishes, mopping the floors, doing the laundry, shoveling the driveway (yes, the WOMAN here in this house is the only one who knows how to shovel a freakin' driveway!), and everything else I do around here, while you sit on the couch with remote in hand!"

My son was coming home from Iraq and I spent 2 days moving furniture (and that included moving it up and down a stairway BY MYSELF!!), painting rooms, shampooing carpet, etc. I did it alone with NO help from him. He lays on the floor on his stomach, paying bills, and whines to me that he needs a neck rub because it's all stiff and sore from looking UP AT THE TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! icon_mad.gif

I better stop here or I'll eat up all of Heath and Jackie's space, I swear I will.

Husbands .... can't live with 'em ... can't shoot 'em. Well, you CAN! But you'd just have to clean up after 'em ONE MORE TIME!!! icon_twisted.gif

JanH Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 9:08pm
post #8 of 16

If you're venting, I totally understand how frustrating your situation is. icon_mad.gificon_cry.gif

If you're looking for advice, ziggytarheel's is right on! judge.gifthumbs_up.gif

(As another member's signature line states: the term working mother is redundant!)

HTH

thems_my_kids Posted 3 Jun 2008 , 10:18pm
post #9 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancylynwallace

I'm tired! Got up at 5:00a.m. Did a load of laundry, walked the dog, got ready for work, packed lunch for DH and myself, worked 10 hours (ran out on my lunch break doing errands for DH). Came home, walked the dog again, folded and put away the laundry, baked a cake and made 5 quarts of icing, vacuumed the house, started dinner and my husband just walked into the house, dropped everything in the floor, pulled off his shoes and socks and is laying back in the recliner with the remote in his hand waiting for dinner, talking about what a hard day he had! icon_eek.gif I swear, he would die if he had to do what I do in a day's time! Then he wonders why I collapse after 9:00! Sorry, I had to vent! Does anyone else out there feel this way or is it just me?




I don't work outside the house, but I do 99% of everything that goes on in this household and with teh children. I also take care of his work checkbook, paying his bills adn doing his banking.

I'm with you!

VannaD Posted 4 Jun 2008 , 2:35pm
post #10 of 16

Debi Ive seen you post that quote before, and I laugh everytime. It so right on!

tracycakes Posted 4 Jun 2008 , 3:57pm
post #11 of 16

My hubby is very supportive and helps out with the housework but I have to share this funny story from last night.

We had some polish sausage so I was just going to grill them and have some grilled onions and peppers to go with them and made german potato salad. It wasn't a difficult dinner, just several pots and skillets. It was easy and quick to fix. It just so happened that my hubby was in the kitchen and we talked while I was preparing dinner.

While we were eating, I asked him how it tasted because I had used some different spices. He said "for all that work, we could have gone out". icon_confused.gif That confused me again so I asked him about it. He said it tasted really good but was alot of work. I said "have you never watched me fix dinner before?" He thought it was a difficult meal. Okay, we've been married for almost 16 years. This house, that we've lived in for 2 years, has the kitchen and dinining in the same room as the kitchen. It's one big space. Has he never seen me cook before? icon_eek.gificon_lol.gif He didn't mind cleaning up the kitchen at all after that. icon_lol.gif

cookingfor5 Posted 4 Jun 2008 , 4:15pm
post #12 of 16

I am glad I'm not alone this week. I had a major meltdown last week and went on strike. I have not made a meal in the house for a week. I won't even plan one, so DH is frusrated. The boys are old enough to make a sandwich, so that is what they are eating every day. I cook for the 4 year old. I threatened to buy and industrial size jar of peanut butter and jelly and let DH buy bread for the summer. I have not done laundry or anything. I leave everything out to the point of being rude. I'm just trying to make my point. If the 3 males in this house don't start taking some sincere responsibility, we are going to have serious probs.

I stay at home now, but like most moms I do a lot. When I did work, I did the same amount. Before having kids or getting married, women should be reminded about their job description. As a mom/wife you are required to plan/prepare/cook 3 meals a day plus snacks for the whole family, you will be responsible for all the shopping for clothes, food, fun, school, household, and extra errands for your husband when you have no idea what something like a coupler is and where to find it only to find out there is a huge variety to choose from and his description doesn't match anything, you will need to plan all social events, You will need to organize the family calendar and keep everyone on schedule, any pets will be managed and trained by you, take time every day to teach your kids the basic fundamentals they will need to learn in school, help your kids with homework, Help out at school and with parties, outside chores are an option to discuss with your husband, but if you ever want to get outside you may have to cut the grass, teach the kids to play sports and take them to events, ....................................

That doesn't even cover half. I didn't even discuss what you do inside the house. I feel your pain and hope I can make you laugh a little. I was told that women think differently than men, and while I love men, I am thankful for the one girl who lives with me ( my sweet daughter) and shares my feelings for the most part.

I plan to be on stike for at least a month. I encourage all women to join me and put your feet up and only do what you have to for the little ones. The more I enable them, the less they appreciate me. LOL!

nancylynwallace Posted 5 Jun 2008 , 4:30pm
post #13 of 16

Thank you guys! I knew you would understand! Thank you for the advice and for the laughs...Indydebi...you're CRAZY icon_lol.gif We sat down last night and had a powwow and I got my point across. I actually sat down and wrote down everything that I had done before and after work and everthing that he had done before and after work and showed it to him. He just sat there in shock...saying "you do all of that?" I think that he thought that Tinkerbell came in the house while we are at work and cleans, scrubs, does laundry and cooks. This morning he got up before me and walked the dog and made MY lunch (peanut butter and jelly) but hey...it's a start. He even suggested that we order carry-out for tonite. WORKS FOR ME! party.gif He has a long way to go, but at least he is trying to undestand why I'm so tired! Ziggytarheel, thanks for the advice! Michellenj, I loved your last comment! icon_lol.gif

TheCakerator Posted 5 Jun 2008 , 5:31pm
post #14 of 16

OK .. so I don't work outside the home and don't have any kids. But I do have a husband and he tends to be a "bit" on the messy side ... two months ago we were on vacation staying at a hotel .. of course, the room is a lot smaller then our house and the majority of it was the bed which meant in the morning the top comforter was on the floor, ick, I never use those, and the sheets were messed up and clothes were everywhere since there isn't a closet , etc., we all know how hotel rooms get when on vacation .. so we leave and spend the day out on the town .. get back to the room, the bed is made, chairs are pushed into the table the floors vacuumed new towels are hanging, etc., obviously housecleaning had come through .. my husband looks at me and says ... I love going on vacation .. in the morning you leave a dirty room and do whatever you want during the day, you come back and theres a made bed, clean towels, so on and so on .. so I look at him and say ... very seriously ... isn't that how it is for you everyday? You leave an unmade bed, dirty clothes lying around, wet towels on the floor .. and yet, when you come back after being gone all day .. the bed is made .. new towels are in the bathroom .. your clothes are picked up, washed, dried, folded and put away? Must be that funny little fairy that follows you around .. must of come on vacation with us! icon_eek.gif

nancylynwallace Posted 5 Jun 2008 , 5:59pm
post #15 of 16

Yeah...she sure gets around doesn't she? That's funny...men don't have a clue!

TheCakerator Posted 5 Jun 2008 , 6:15pm
post #16 of 16

no kidding!

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