Definately don't do cake for crazy people! Choose your customers wisely! As a teacher I wish sometimes I could choose my parents....... but I have to put up with all of them unfortunately. Luckily I am not hamstrung as to who my cake customers are.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. I hate conflict too so that part would bother me. On the up side, reading this post has been really entertaining! Thanks for the good read and I think the last email you wrote says "Don't contact me again" in a really nice way.

What if a bride contacted you with her details, date, and asked for availability and had some designs in mind...you sent a sample photo....then assume everything was go and showed up day of the wedding, cake in hand?! In this day and age, she should know all details would have been worked out whether or not you spelled them for her.
I like the idea of placing details in the initial return contact email. I'll have to adopt that!

I dont know why but it bugs the heck out of me when I read posts on here that call the customers idiots, physcho, scary, etc. just because they misunderstand or have an issue with a cake etc. I always say "remember where you came from" alot of bakers on here have at one time or another been a cake customer. Not everyone came out of the womb a professional. I can totally sypmathize with the customer. I understand that she didnt confirm or leave a deposit but it sounds to me like she really thought it was a done deal. I know a lot of people that are virtual air heads and more inteligent people make fun of them but try living in their world. If it were me I would really try to do it for her if I could. And I agree with her about using emails. I dont understand why people have lost the power of speach anymore. It's emails and texts all the time. What about a personal business approach. I know everyone is busy but heck are you not supposed to care about the customer? What happened to customer service? JMHO ok shutting up now lol

Holy &%^&(! That is way too much! I say it's a good thing she never got back to you in the first place. Things have a funny way of working out huh?

It boils down to whether or not you can do it and if you are comfortable with doing it. You've already stated, no and no. So the case is basically closed. Especially after learning of some of her past.

I do agree that sometimes we're a bit too quick to blame everything on the customer. I also think this woman may truly believe she was "all good". But a few things keep me from siding with her on this one:

1. No response - in five weeks!

2. They weren't even at the point of talking deposit because NO design, flavor, sizes were discussed. How many of us have gotten the "how much are your cakes" and we start in with "well it depends on what you want, how big it will be, etc...." If the lady responded with her design choice, told the OP how many servings she needed and what flavors and then 5 weeks later (yesterday) came with her email to check in - I'd blame the OP for not giving her a quote/deposit info, if she required that.

3. The very fact that she was used to dealing with someone else - a home baker - for years should be the main reason why she'd give more detail as to what she needs. You are dealing with a new business that doesn't know you.

4. She said she's used to ordering custom birthday cakes...I'd think she'd want to ya know...customize it.

I would, however, keep it professional and probably send that last response you drafted up. I can understand that you don't like confrontation but when dealing with the public, you're bound to get some at some time or another. May as well hone your skills at dealing with problem situations.

Ok here is my take on the situation.

Personalities aside, flake or not.. psycho or not.. Send the final email. It states your case perfectly. She inquired.. you responded.. she never followed up regarding the particulars. No actual order was placed.

Sending the email as you last wrote is the professional thing to do IMHO.

Good Luck!!

I read through this post, closed it and felt the need to come back. I do agree that in general we tend to assume the worst of people and customers. There are posts here all the time where someone has a complaint about the cake and the general consensus is that that person is just looking for money back and that their complaint isn't true. I don't always agree with those posts and usually ignore them. That's just one example of these kinds of posts on here.

I don't know that I would call this woman scary or anything else. Reading what she wrote, I do find that she is being very pushy and the way she is wording things makes her sound intimidating, which I think is probably intentional.

As has been pointed out, yes this woman may have been use to dealing with someone else and she may have thought the order was complete, but we can not forget that the details were not discussed. Is it really a cake order when I don't know what flavor cake you want? What size cake you need? What you want the cake to look like? When you have not heard or agreed to my price? How are you suppose to plan for and do a cake when you do not know what the heck you are doing?

Even if you take it out of a cake situation (like Indy did) you can't convience me that this order was completed and there should be a cake (when no one knows what she actually wanted) completed and sitting there for her pick on her date.

I read all of this and I wouldn't have put her on my calender based on what the cake decorator knew.

I get lots of inquiries about all kinds of cakes. I have taken orders over the phone with the understanding that they must be paid in full first. Some called, designed, ordered picked flavors, etc. but no payment arrived so I didn't bake squat doodley.

The lady should have emailed/called to order the cake and confirm the details.

I had wedding cake back in 1977 because my mom PAID for it in advance. I don't know why people have a hard time with that - it is business this is not personal. If I made cakes that were "ordered" but not paid I'd be losing money!

This lady is mad because she dropped the ball. That is a personal problem!

I think it would be unprofessional of you to not reply, but I wouldn't get into a debate with the lady.

Just tell her (without insulting or verbally attacking her in any way) that you understand she is used to ordering from a home based business that can handle operating with such little communication, but unfortunately that doesn't work in the retail cake business.

I'm sharing all of this with hubby who wants to add a few of his 2 cents worth:

- Until you lay your money down, it's all "just conversation".

- The deposit eliminates ANY "assumptions" on either side.

- He agrees with the above suggestions of having a signature line of "No cake is considered booked until a deposit is rec'd".

- Turn it around .... does a cake maker go ahead and make a cake based on an inquiry? A car dealership does NOT order a car just because a person asks for a brochure.

- If a person changes cake makers, isn't it just as easy to "assume" that the new person does NOT operate in the same manner as the last cake maker, instead of just assuming everyone operates the same? (He totally agrees with the above comment re: furniture stores and 2009 payments!).

- SOmetimes people "set up" these "misunderstandings" just so they can try to get something for nothing. He sees it all the time in his business.

Hi everyone,

After reading all your posts, and talking to my DH, I sent the email that I shared with you all yesterday. I agree that it is the most professional thing to do. I am hoping that it was clear enough and made my point to her, and that she will leave me alone now.

Thinking it over, I guess she is one of those scatterbrained people who just didn't realize that she hadn't taken care of all the details. But, with all the inquires I get, I have people all the time who don't respond to photos or whatever, and so I just let them go. And I don' think that is something I am going to change in the future. But I think I will be more clear about the design procress-my DH suggested that I come up with some type of template that lists all my policies and mail that out to people the first time I communicate with them.

Looking through her email, she really overaggerated about me "agreeing" to do the cake, which I never did. I never said she was on the schedule. We had ONE initial phone coversation, and I had sent her 3 emails, which she did not respond to, which meant I never got far enough to agree to do the cake. We never spoke about servings, or finalized the design-the closest I got was a luao (sp?) theme.

I think why I called her Scary is that she seems like the type of person who would go to every website she can to leave nasty remarks. BUT, I have good relations with other clients, and my work speaks for itsself, so I will just have to suck it up if she does that.

Thank you everyone for all the support and advice! I will let you know if she writes me later today (which I am fully expecting).

you know what? we live in an information age. you have a website, you have your ordering guidelines posted on it. this woman has no excuse what so ever. its not your fault that she didnt do her research before contacting you. i know that before i even go to a new restaurant i dont do so without looking online at reviews or their menu. so why would i go into business with someone without knowing their policy first?! it really honestly blows my mind. some people just want everything handed to them. "you should have told me!".. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED!

I don't think you have any legal obligation to do this person's cake, and I think you have done fine in terms of dealing with the situation. I'd close the book on it and move on.

But it is also true that when a "scary" situation arises, it is often a good opportunity for us as businesspeople to "think outside the box" and try to tweak our systems, to prevent the problem from EVER occurring again.

I think the suggestion about providing additional information to EVERYONE who makes an inquiry is a good idea, so in the future, no one can mistakenly assume their date is booked and that 2 weeks ahead should be plenty of time to finalize the details of it.

It might also be a good idea, business-wise, to pencil people in on a certain date when they make an inquiry, and then if someone else asks about the same date, get back in touch with the person who made the earlier inquiry to say, "Did you want to finalize this and place a deposit?... Because if you don't, I will accept this other order...."

Just some ideas to consider, to avoid any irate potential customers. As you have learned from your relative knowing this woman, even crazy people may have lots of social contacts and can damage your reputation for top-notch customer service if they badmouth you in the community....

My sister got married a few months back, and I wanted a custom dress. Went to 1 dressmaker, she showed me a few designs, I didn't like any of them, so I told her I would come back. She did not measure me, didn't decide ona design, and SHE DID NOT PUT ME IN HER CALENDAR. I did not want her to assume that I wanted a dress from her, nor did I want her to call me to ask me if I wanted to come in to decide, as that was really a polite "no", I was not planning on coming back. The next place I went, I loved her stuff, I ASKED "WHAT DO I NEED TO GET THIS DRESS ORDERED".

Also, dh's car lease was ending, so he looked around at new cars. decided on one, but needed his boss's approval, since his boss pays his car lease (he drives around in it all day for work). by the time he came back, the car dealership had given the car to someone else BECAUSE NO AGREEMENT WAS SIGNED, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, NO MONEY EXCHANGED HANDS!! He could not get hold of that model in that color anymore, so dh had to settle on a diff color...


This customer should have asked what she has to do to secure the date, it is her fault!!


eta: also, how can you put her on your schedule if you have no idea what size/design cake she wants? You have to know approx. how long it will take, so you could know how many other cakes you could make the same week. I don't know what (or if) she was thinking...

You can't expect people to know how you operate your business... and you can't expect them to read every bit of information on your website. Come on... who does that?

I have a FAQ section on my website that people will find if they search for it - but if they're just looking for a phone number, photos (which on my site haven't even been updated... don't ask) or pricing information - they are not going to see my policies on payment, deposits, etc.

This is YOUR business, and you need to make sure your customers understand how you do business. With EVERY initial e-mail or phone call, I make sure I spell out to people that I require a 50% deposit and how much advance notice I will need if they decide to place an order.

For instance, if someone asks about price, I don't just respond with the price. If I don't tell them I will need a minimum of 2 weeks for a cake order, they will assume that they can call me a day prior to their event.

Perhaps to some this seems like overkill - but let me assure you, because of this, the only problems I EVER have are with the free cakes I do for a children's hospital (they ALWAYS call at the last minute because I won't say no to a child). My customers are well trained, and I often get people calling me a week in advance (on orders that only require 72 hours notice) asking me "it's not too late to place an order, is it?"

Besides the fact that it eliminates a lot of potential misunderstandings, it also makes you look more professional.

I guess I'm leaving a wrong impression. I'm not saying it's totally "buyer beware". I probably have the longest introduction email you've ever seen PLUS about 12 attachments that I send out to every first inquiry. (I've sent this email/attachments to a number of CC'ers ... back me up, guys! It's pretty informative, right?)

Anything they need to know about ordering thru me .... trust me ..... they KNOW it by the time they call me to set up that sampling appt! So yes, I *DO* believe in educating the customer. Yes, I *DO* believe we have a responsibility to make sure they understand the process.

I just don't believe this particular customer should be completely off the hook on this one. She's not inexperienced in ordering custom cakes ... she knows the info the baker requires .... she's not a naive shopper who has never ordered a cake before.

She has/had the ability to know......

Brandi, I luv ya, too, and your viewpoints are ALWAYS highly valued!

On a similar note, and like other examples here:
My husband and I recently came across a very eclectic and cool piano at a flea market, and the person who had it wanted to get rid of it so badly she said she would give it to us for free. So we took it home.
Now, it needs to be tuned. I contacted a piano repair man, and we tenatively talked about him coming out on this Thursday, but I have dropped the ball and haven't gotten back to him yet.
Am I expecting him to be here Thursday afternoon? No! I didn't follow up with him! I didn't place a formal request for him to be here!
It is the same case here-tenatively talking about cake, but nothing finalized formally.

Indydebi,

Same here! I'm horrible at expressing what I'm trying to say on-line (okay in person too but my friends are used to it! ). That's why my stuff gets so lengthy.

Now, let's see, I have some lip gloss and liner but where's that lipstick? (looking through purse......)

so what did she say??
im waiting to hear.
indy, aswartzw- you guys are too funny