Friday I put a post up in the business section announcing that my boss has decided to scale back the business, and that she is going to stop having employees... and that's me.

Two weeks ago we took a family vacation to Florida with my exchange student from Thailand.. we looked forward to it all year, and ended up taking my car because it's the biggest in the family... and now I have to car shop. The trip destroyed the engine

My exchange student leave in two weeks and i'm not ready.

Today I went car shopping and realized that in no way shape or form can I afford a car payment. If I can afford the payment, I can't afford the insurance... less than two years ago, my nephew totaled my car and i'm still paying for it in the insurance world.

I already work two jobs-- my full time one is going to vanish by the end of the year and my PT job I've had for eleven years, well, PT, FT, PT, FT, PT, FT, PT again... and i'm good enough that they want me to be FT again when a new store opens in October, but really, KILL ME FIRST I cannot even consider going back to FT again. That would make my husband right, and I don't want that to happen, I've had enough "told ya so's" about the car!! He doesn't even know that my job is vanishing, and i'm not telling him until the car issue is settled.

Now my bosslady tells me that (and this is complicated so forgive me!) Her ex partner Colette was married to Robert, and Robert gave her a bake shop in the basement. They are friends with my boss but Colette and Robert are divorcing and the shop is empty and she doesn't give a hoot what he does with it. He wants to rent it to me. BUT It's way out in the woods and there's only one fridge and no freezer and no consult area and just about everything would have to be delivered due to it's location. There IS a BIG mixer, a big oven, two baking racks, pans, etc... and a big beautiful baking table. My boss is willing to help me with the business, giving me her wholesale accounts, and sending me business that she doesn't want... so it's just rolling around in my brain--but it's SCARY.

And this is all just wearing me out. I just feel overwhelmed and totally incapable of making any decisions like these!! I can't even figure out what to make for dinner without consulting my student or my husband! I'm just so so so overwhelmed.

And if you read all that and are still hanging on, THANK YOU! I thought that maybe if I got it out I would feel better and then if I sent back to re read it I would see just how ridiculous I am acting.

The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I'm sure you're feeling better by now. It always puts things in perspective for me when I see it in black and white.

Hope things get better for you soon!!!

I'd whine too, and I too HATE decisions.

I hope it all goes well for you, whatever you decide.

I also hope that your husband starts being more supportive than he sounds. What's good for you is good for him and v.v.

Hang in there!! If you sit back and take a deep breath, some clairity should come to you. Go to your "quiet place" and really think about all of it. Keep us posted. Sending some big (((((((hugs)))))))!!!!! for you.

Donna

Man, you got a lot going on. Sometimes all you can do is hang on and wait out the storm. It can't possibly stay this crazy forever! Find something to hold on to, and rest for a few days. You'll be surprised when your moment of clarity comes.

Thanks ladies... I re read it just now and realized how much I forgot to whine about... LOL if only it was that simple.

Mom is having major back surgery on Monday
Dad has Parkinson's and has Parkinson's Apathy (Depression) and

Grandma that lives with them wants to move out.
Heck, I want to move out. And.......

Sister saus Grow up and get a real job that you hate like the rest of us. (Lucky her she has the ideal two kids and a good hubby and 2 dogs, not that she doesn't have problems... but really. I love my job and my talent and it's not a sin to want to do what you love!)

I hope the clarity comes soon!