Friends And Cake....ugh...vent

Decorating By punkiin Updated 24 May 2008 , 6:42am by amysue99

punkiin Posted 23 May 2008 , 12:51pm
post #1 of 34

Yesterday I recieved an email from my neighbor inviting us to her sons birthday party. She wasn't real sure what time or when other than it would be memorial day weekend. Okay fine! She just wanted to give us a heads up.......So I replied saying keep me informed and if we don't have plans we will try to stop by.

Today she sends me a reply....Yes we are having it and I would like to get a recipe and frosting from you. What the heck?!?!?!? I'm not sure how to respond in order not to make her mad. UGH! I want to send her a box mix and frosting in a can!

CINDY

33 replies
Ironbaker Posted 23 May 2008 , 2:53pm
post #2 of 34

Just tell her you're sorry but you use family recipes that you can't give out but you can direct her to some that you've tried before. Tell her to check out the Cake Mix Doctor book or something.

I really thought you were going to say that she asked you to bring a cake. icon_lol.gif

Auryn Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:01pm
post #3 of 34

I thought she asked you to bring the bday cake too.
I also suggest that you tell her you can't share family recipes

but you can direct her to foodnetwork.com and the wilton website and she can find them herself.

chassidyg Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:03pm
post #4 of 34

Say they are business recipes, and cannot be given out.

wgoat5 Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:11pm
post #5 of 34

Just tell her no I can't...

I don't know why we can't just say NO

NO

NO

No

Can you make a cake for tomorrow.. Ummm NO

Can you make a 7 ft. tall baby with a transformer toy for 50.00? umm NO

LOL

NO
NO
NO
NO
Sorry NO

We are old enough we shouldn't have to give explanations icon_smile.gif

adonisthegreek1 Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:18pm
post #6 of 34

When people ask me for recipes that I don't want to share, I direct them to Foodnetwork.com or recipezaar.com.

There was a teacher who kept asking how I make my candied popcorn. I told her that my recipes are a well kept secret, but gave her a basic recipe sheet from my local cake and candy supplier.

chassidyg Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:19pm
post #7 of 34

You know, I was just thinking, that if any of the other guests had tasted your cakes and frostings before, and then had the cake that the woman baked and decorated using your recipes, and it turned out very horribly, then they'd be thinking that you made it, and that probably wouldnt be a good thing. Just my 2 cents though.

Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:27pm
post #8 of 34

If you're afraid of her getting angry just find a recipe on line and give her that one. If it doesn't turn out "right" tell her sometimes even the same recipe done by different people can taste totally different and don't let on that it's not the same one. icon_surprised.gificon_wink.gif

smoore Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:28pm
post #9 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by wgoat5

Just tell her no I can't...

I don't know why we can't just say NO

NO

NO

No

Can you make a cake for tomorrow.. Ummm NO

Can you make a 7 ft. tall baby with a transformer toy for 50.00? umm NO

LOL

NO
NO
NO
NO
Sorry NO

We are old enough we shouldn't have to give explanations icon_smile.gif




Amen!!!! NO. (period) Look one up like I had to the first time I made some!

avenje Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:31pm
post #10 of 34

I'd say..what flavor? And then go pull one off of any website and send it to her as if it's the recipe you use. Then when she complains that it didn't taste like yours tell her "baking is a science and not everybody can bake a cake by just following the ingredients listed." Then you can avoid the whole explanation of why you don't give out your receipes. icon_evil.gif

punkiin Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:31pm
post #11 of 34

Christi thank you for reminding us NO is actually in the dictionary! Why is it so easy to say NO to our children, but we can't so NO to adults? I probably wouldn't get the screaming tantrums with adults that I get out of my 3 and 13 year olds. icon_cry.gificon_lol.gif

This should probably go under another forum post but oh well.

I wouldn't put it past her to ask for me to bring a cake. One of our other neighbors asked me one day...Would you like to make a cake for Friday? It was one of those DUH moments that I often have. I said sure what do you need...she said something for a Derby party. I replied OKAY! I had just made her daughters birthday cake the week before and didn't think anything about it, because she actually gave me a very nice tip. So she picked the cake up on Friday and said..."Thanks I sure do appreciate it"! No payment!!! My mouth hit the floor. That was my fault since we didn't discuss it up front. UGH

avenje Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:32pm
post #12 of 34

I guess Sugar_Plum_Fairy and I had the same idea..LOL!

Homemade-Goodies Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:37pm
post #13 of 34

Sounds like these people know how to work you Punkin!! icon_biggrin.gif

I'm trying to get the nerve to hand out flyers to my neighbors, indicating I'd love to give them a 15% discount for their patronage....but it sounds so pompous. But if I don't, I'll be there OFFERING cakes for FREE, and I need this in place first to protect me against my own stupidity!!!! :S

famousamous Posted 23 May 2008 , 3:55pm
post #14 of 34

Direct her to Wilton and call it a day!

veejaytx Posted 23 May 2008 , 5:18pm
post #15 of 34

That slogan "Just Say No!" applies to all kinds of things, if we would all just use it!

IMO it takes a whole lot of nerve to ask a neighbor (or anyone for that matter) to make a cake for an occasion and not even offer to pay for it, even if you did tip for the one she made for you a week earlier!

Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 23 May 2008 , 6:29pm
post #16 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by veejaytx

That slogan "Just Say No!" applies to all kinds of things, if we would all just use it!

IMO it takes a whole lot of nerve to ask a neighbor (or anyone for that matter) to make a cake for an occasion and not even offer to pay for it, even if you did tip for the one she made for you a week earlier!




Yeah, but this woman did not ask OP for a cake, but rather for the recipe. (Just clarifying.)

tiggy2 Posted 23 May 2008 , 8:31pm
post #17 of 34

She probably thought if she asked you for recipes you would just offer to make the cake.

wgoat5 Posted 23 May 2008 , 8:52pm
post #18 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar_Plum_Fairy

Quote:
Originally Posted by veejaytx

That slogan "Just Say No!" applies to all kinds of things, if we would all just use it!

IMO it takes a whole lot of nerve to ask a neighbor (or anyone for that matter) to make a cake for an occasion and not even offer to pay for it, even if you did tip for the one she made for you a week earlier!



Yeah, but this woman did not ask OP for a cake, but rather for the recipe. (Just clarifying.)





I go to a wonderful Italian place in Louisville... I wouldnt EVER ask for their secret recipes.. would you? LOL ... Just say no.. it's not mean or hateful.. just say if I told ya I'd have to kill ya icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.gif

Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 23 May 2008 , 9:31pm
post #19 of 34

Hey, Christi, what dish (recipe) do you want to know about? I'll see if I can remember how my grandmother made it (God knows she hardly ever wrote anything down!) lol

wgoat5 Posted 23 May 2008 , 9:42pm
post #20 of 34

Ohhhh Grace you are Italian aren't you.. I'd love to have a GREAT all day gravy recipe icon_smile.gificon_biggrin.gif

Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 23 May 2008 , 10:19pm
post #21 of 34

That, my dear, "I" actually do off the top of my head. lol No longer have to check on recipes for that one. I'll PM you later because right now I'm actually running out the door to pick up my daughter from a play date and dropping off printed icing sheets to someone for her cake.

I'll check in later.

Cakebelle Posted 23 May 2008 , 10:33pm
post #22 of 34

Just what are these people thinking???????????????? icon_eek.gif

steplite Posted 23 May 2008 , 10:51pm
post #23 of 34

Bottom Line! She didn't want a recipe, She wanted you to say,"Oh, I'll bake the Cake" And for FREE! I get invited to a lot of functions because they hope I'll bring a cake. She should have just asked you if you'd mind baking the cake. But not for free.

amastercreation Posted 23 May 2008 , 10:54pm
post #24 of 34

i agree with others...give her a different recipe, maybe from Martha Stewart or something. Most times, people don't use the recipe or they just breakdown and buy a store bought. I've given friends "real" recipes before and they alway come back and say it didn't come out right.

unfortunately, as adults, we all want to please others (especially when you have talent to make things). so in order to please...we do it...but we can't and we shouldn't compromise our own hard work and research into the recipes we've all memorized in our heads. I suggest to be neighborly and give her some recipe, show up to the function a little late so everyone will know that you didn't make the cake. icon_wink.gif

playingwithsugar Posted 23 May 2008 , 11:07pm
post #25 of 34

Give her this website and tell her to take her pick.

www.allrecipes.com

Theresa icon_smile.gif

TexasSugar Posted 23 May 2008 , 11:07pm
post #26 of 34

Okay I have a different opinion here. Is your recipe special? Did you come up with it or tweak another recipe? If it is an average, easy to find on the internet recipe, why not just share it? It isn't always the recipes, but the cook that makes the recipe come out good.

I really don't agree with playing off a recipe as yours when you know it isn't. I also don't agree with leaving out something so it doesn't come out as good as when you make it.

If you really and truely don't want to give out your recipe, then don't. But please just be honest about it. You can always say "I'm sorry but I can't give out my recipes." And then direct her to some sites where she may find some good recipes.

Mac Posted 23 May 2008 , 11:28pm
post #27 of 34

I am thinking that she thought you would offer to make the cake. I have had several people ask "that way".

THe one this past week that offered me to help make a cake was so she could get it for less.

alicegop Posted 24 May 2008 , 12:19am
post #28 of 34

She is your friend, just give it to her. Life is too short to be petty.

SueW Posted 24 May 2008 , 12:42am
post #29 of 34

This happened to me once with cookies and RI recipes. I directed her to Williams sonoma's website and said " I use their icing recipe some times. That way she got a recipe but NOT one I used a lot. I hate when people try to "cheap out" when they know you make cakes. I just had a friend ask me to borrow all my icing tips/bags, get color and for "ideas" for her to decorate her daughter's cake. That way she didn't have to pay me!

Kitagrl Posted 24 May 2008 , 12:53am
post #30 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by SueW

This happened to me once with cookies and RI recipes. I directed her to Williams sonoma's website and said " I use their icing recipe some times. That way she got a recipe but NOT one I used a lot. I hate when people try to "cheap out" when they know you make cakes. I just had a friend ask me to borrow all my icing tips/bags, get color and for "ideas" for her to decorate her daughter's cake. That way she didn't have to pay me!




LOL....I guess I'm lucky, I don't have too many people who ask for free cake. If I ever do give a free cake, its my own volunteer work.

I don't mind if friends want to borrow my stuff and try their hand at cake. I think its fun, and exciting that others are interested in decorating. Plus...its not like they will be my next week's competition, LOL, so its like "Here, go ahead!"

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