I'm So Upset With The School

Lounge By Texas_Rose Updated 21 May 2008 , 11:18pm by Amia

Texas_Rose Posted 14 May 2008 , 12:27am
post #1 of 26

My daughter is 6 and in kindergarten. She fell down during recess today and bruised her nose and chin, and has a line of bruising across her mouth, both lips are cut up on the inside, and she has a bump on her head, and one knee skinned raw, swollen and bruised.

The school didn't tell me. I picked her up this afternoon and instead of my perky, sweet kiddo, I had a poor, limping, bruised little person. Also, once I got her home she kept complaining about being cold, and I took her temperature and it was 102.7.

The school nurse saw her, and apparently cleaned her knee and washed her face. I've asked the school several times to call me if she gets hurt. (Actually, I asked them to call me every time they see her in the clinic, because I don't want my daughter being treated for anything without my knowledge). I only live across the street and I'd be more than happy to go over there. They told me they were too busy to call if a kid gets hurt. They don't have any problem calling repeatedly if she wets her pants though icon_rolleyes.gif I've gone over there before for wet pants and it turns out that she was just sweaty.

Anyhow, I never want to send her back. I wonder how hurt someone would have to be before the school would call the parents. I think it's irresponsible to send a child home with a head injury and not even send a note saying that she hit her head.

I'm just sick about this. Is this normal everywhere? or does our school just suck? I'm ready to just pull her out and home school her, I'm that upset.

25 replies
foxymomma521 Posted 14 May 2008 , 12:31am
post #2 of 26

I would be on the phone with the principal first thing in the morning. If I didn't get the response I wanted I would call the superintendent (or the local news) Your child is too important to be treated that way!

mkolmar Posted 14 May 2008 , 12:45am
post #3 of 26

I'd go absolute ape tapedshut.gif if this happened to my kid. Irresponsible on their part. Talk to them about it and mean business. I'm so angry right now and it's not even my child. (this happened to me when I was in school so I'm sensitive.)

mbelgard Posted 14 May 2008 , 1:22am
post #4 of 26

I'd be calling the principal and school board members first thing in the morning about this. I can see not calling for one small injury on the playground but when it's a combo of several injuries the parents should be notified.

Our school doesn't call about anything. If a kid wets their pants there are clothes there and they even wash the dirty things that belong to the child before they're sent home, you just wash what they borrowed and send it back. I do wish they'd call sooner sometimes when a kid isn't feeling well.

mocakes Posted 14 May 2008 , 1:33am
post #5 of 26

That is just not right....

Last year, our kids school sent home an Incident Report any time a child went to the office for any reason. That way we were kept informed at all times.

Don't back down. Our kiddos are too important!

Ohara Posted 14 May 2008 , 10:42am
post #6 of 26

Nope. Our school would have called. I agree with mkolmar, talk to them and let them know you mean business. I hope she is better soon, poor little thing. Good luck.

ac2steachk Posted 14 May 2008 , 11:09am
post #7 of 26

I call parents if any accident occurs. Parents NEED to be notified.
I call immediately if a child needs to be seen by a nurse (our secretary) and will find time before the end of the day to call if it's a more minor issue.
I will go out of my way to contact a parent or family member, even asking the principal to watch my class for a minute so I can make sure the call goes out before the child leaves school.
Not calling for an injury like this one, no matter if you are across the street or across town, is unacceptable. Please call the principal and share your concern. Every person working at any school should be working "for the children" and that includes finding a way to contact parents.

Texas_Rose Posted 14 May 2008 , 11:59am
post #8 of 26

I'm keeping her home today. She still has the fever, and her lips are swollen about double their normal size, and the underside of her nose is purple. She was complaining about nausea in the middle of the night. I think we might go to the doctor in a few hours.

I have a sitter coming later today so I can go over to the school and talk to them without the kids in tow. I've had other problems with the school...her first day, someone threw a rock and hit her in the eye, the next day an older child stepped on her knee and she had a big purple bruise. There was another time that she fell and hit her neck against the edge of a table...and when I went to the school and asked why they didn't tell me, they hadn't even written up an incident report.

Kiddiekakes Posted 14 May 2008 , 12:38pm
post #9 of 26

I would be calling the pricipal.In our school they are excellent about telling you ASAP if a your child is hurt or has been in a scuffle with another child etc....I have had them tell me twice this year that my son has bumped his head...cut his finger...had a little run in with another child.They should have called you right away!!

Shelle_75 Posted 14 May 2008 , 3:01pm
post #10 of 26

I would DEFINETLY take her to the doctor today and document EVERYTHING in case you have to get legal!

Hope she's feeling better soon.


nelja5 Posted 14 May 2008 , 3:14pm
post #11 of 26

HEck no, No with my kids!!! I could not believe they would not report this to you!!! I would call the principal right away, and keep a report of everything just in case. I would also take her to the hospital, and report what happen at school and notify that you would never notify of what happen until the child got home!!!! just in case!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lilacc01 Posted 14 May 2008 , 4:06pm
post #12 of 26

That is just awful! When I was in 4th grade I was knocked down by an older boy and hit my temple on the corner of some concrete steps. The secretary told me it was just a brush burn and to stop being a ninny when I asked to call my Mom. I felt nauseated and finally on my third trip to the office I threw up! Only then did they call my Mother, who took my straight to the hospital. I had a serious concussion and boy did she lay into them the next day!!! Head injuries are no joke! A child could die from a concussion if it is let go long enough! For your own piece of mind, take that baby to the hospital!

Auryn Posted 14 May 2008 , 4:13pm
post #13 of 26

I am so sorry to hear your little girl got hurt.
I hope she feels better soon.

From everything you've told us it seems like its time to find a new school.
I know this one is convenient because its across the street, but convenience isn't worth your child literally being abused and the adults not doing anything about it and not telling you.

If I were you, ohhh man, theyd be wishing they had never messed with me.

michellenj Posted 14 May 2008 , 6:10pm
post #14 of 26

Take pictures of her injuries,just in case you should ever need them. Sometimes people will try to minimize things without solid proof, kwim? I'd make copies for myself, the school, AND all the board members.

dldbrou Posted 14 May 2008 , 9:01pm
post #15 of 26

Ask the principal that if you had sent you child to school in that condition with no correspondence with principal, wouldn't they have been obligated by law to call in the authorities to report a possible child abuse. They owed you a phone call for you to make the decision about whether or not she should be seen by a doctor, not their nurse. I work in a High School and believe me any injury, no matter how small is dealt with seriously. First a parent is contacted , then an accident report is filed. Isn't the school concerned about potential lawsuits for not informing you about the accident. Let us know what happens with the principal.

MichelleM77 Posted 14 May 2008 , 10:20pm
post #16 of 26

I guess we are the odd ones because our school wouldn't call unless they were severely injured. I was the same way and I understand your concern. Sent my little one to kindergarten (he's an only child too, so I'm really overprotective) and he came home with a skinned knee and I was shocked that they wouldn't call me! I realize now that they can't call for everything and that is why there is a nurse there. Unless he has knocked a permanent tooth out, is unconscious, broke a bone, or is bleeding profusely, it really isn't an emergency and a cleanup from the nurse and a Band-Aid usually does the trick. I've learned to remember that he is an active soon-to-be 11-year-old boy and he is going to get scraped up on the playground with the other kids.

But.....I think with the bruising and swelling that your daughter now has, a trip to the doc would probably be a good idea, just to make sure she is okay, which I'm sure she is.

mustang1964 Posted 21 May 2008 , 6:15am
post #17 of 26

One time my 7 year old son was running in P.E. and hit heads with another kid. At the end of school he told me. "It was really weird mom after we ran into each other everything went black and when I could see again I was shaking and couldn't stop. The other mother (who was on the school board) told me about a year later her son had a swollen cheek for about a month. I never got a call from the school. Although I got a call when he threw grass on another kid. Even though he had never been in trouble at school before.
My other son broke both bones in his lower leg, and after making him walk up a hill and get in a big high truck the school called to ask if I wanted to come pick him up or if they should bring him to me. It was very obviously broken all deformed.
The school does not have any insurance if anyone gets hurt unless you can show they are negligent.

indydebi Posted 21 May 2008 , 10:34am
post #18 of 26
Originally Posted by dldbrou

Ask the principal that if you had sent you child to school in that condition with no correspondence with principal, wouldn't they have been obligated by law to call in the authorities to report a possible child abuse. They owed you a phone call for you to make the decision about whether or not she should be seen by a doctor, not their nurse. I work in a High School and believe me any injury, no matter how small is dealt with seriously. First a parent is contacted , then an accident report is filed. Isn't the school concerned about potential lawsuits for not informing you about the accident. Let us know what happens with the principal.

Amen!!! And I'd be finding out the phone number of every school board member!

pastryjen Posted 21 May 2008 , 5:14pm
post #19 of 26

A skinned knee or paper cut is one thing but a huge fall like that? Unbelievable!

After a fall like your dtr's, I certainly wouldn't want to stay in school and pay attention. I'd be at home, relaxing and getting a few hugs.

I'm steaming reading this. Be sure to take this higher than just the principal.

krazykat_14 Posted 21 May 2008 , 6:28pm
post #20 of 26

Yeah- I'd take photos, take her to the doctor then call the principal then the superintendent of schools for the area, then the news paper. icon_mad.gif

It is completely unacceptable to have such a young child have than many bruises and abrasions without notifying the parents. I agree 110% with the other poster who said that if you dropped her off in that condition and said "she tripped" they would have CPS on you faster than stink on poo. icon_evil.gif

As far as pulling her out of that school and home-schooling her, I'm divided on that. If you have the time, patience and education to home school her, great, but maybe consider a private school- that way she can learn social skills that other kids are learning. Home-schooled kids always seem to end up being #1 when they enter spelling/math/geography competitions so they seem to get better educations, and they don't seem anti-social, but I don't know any personally, so I don't know... It's just my public/private school mom rational for not home-schooling my own...

Finally, Hang in there, don't let that stupid school get away with it. You are a MOM- nobody messes with your baby! I still feel that way and mine's 6'3" 200lbs now... icon_biggrin.gif

Texas_Rose Posted 21 May 2008 , 8:42pm
post #21 of 26

I did go and talk to the principal. I had tried calling but somehow missed her return call (didn't grab the phone fast enough, she left a message but when I called her back it went straight to voicemail). So my husband and I went over and asked to see her. We were in her office for 45 minutes. About halfway through, she called the nurse and had her come in too. The nurse started out with, "It was really funny, no I guess it wasn't funny..."

Basically, she said that Valerie was laughing when she left the clinic, so she thought she was fine. She said she didn't see any bruising and there was a very tiny cut on Val's lip, so she checked Val's teeth but they were all right. She mentioned over and over that she has 850 children in the school to take care of and that she treats 60 of them each day. She thought Valerie had fallen on the rubber mats under the play equipment, because when she asked Valerie where she fell, she said "On my face and my knee" rather than giving a location on the playground...which sounds like Valerie icon_rolleyes.gif My husband pointed out that there were no cuts on Val's hands or arms, which meant that she stopped her fall with her face. The nurse got visibly upset when I told her Valerie didn't remember her fall. As the conversation progressed, she turned dark red and started shifting back and forth in her chair and wiping her eyes.

We settled on the nurse calling us whenever she treats Valerie, as long as Valerie reminds her. Not a perfect solution, but all we could really come up with.

The reason I haven't considered sending Valerie to a private school is money...I'm staying at home and I would have to go back to work to pay for private school, which would mean sending Sophia to daycare...so I'd be robbing one kid to take care of the other. Also, I went to private school and a lot of things went on that shouldn't have, and there's a lot less that a parent can do about it, other than just pull the kid out of the school.

pastryjen Posted 21 May 2008 , 8:54pm
post #22 of 26

Glad to hear you were able to talk things out. We never had school nurses...she really treats 60 kids a day?

She can't put up a post it to remind herself to call you if your dtr comes in? Can they not review their procedures?

Oh well...at least this has been brought up in front of the principal and everyone is aware of what's going on.

krazykat_14 Posted 21 May 2008 , 8:58pm
post #23 of 26

The whole thing sounds so terrible- I'm so sorry for you. And that poor nurse- 850 kids- 60 a day- I worked for an amazing doctor and he couldn't get through 60 patients in one VERY LONG day- it sounds like that school needs another nurse.

I completely understand the money thing- if I had any more than the one, there's no way I would ever be able to afford it! As it is now, technically I can't afford it, so I do without a lot of things- but I couldn't see making another child do without so that her sister could go to some fancy schmancy school...

I'm sorry you're going through this right now- I hope everyone feels better soon and things get better for everyone. Being a Mom- the toughest job you'll ever love!

AJsGirl Posted 21 May 2008 , 8:59pm
post #24 of 26

How scary. Glad you got things worked out. Sounds like the nurse just thought it wasn't that serious.

mbelgard Posted 21 May 2008 , 9:39pm
post #25 of 26
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Also, I went to private school and a lot of things went on that shouldn't have, and there's a lot less that a parent can do about it, other than just pull the kid out of the school.

You're so right about that, in a way some private schools might be worse because parents feel more secure sending their children there so they don't watch as closely as they would a public school. I know one parent locally who's convinced that because her children attend a church school there isn't any teasing at all, since she thinks that she isn't likely to watch for problems.

And as for the nurse dealing with that many children your school is lucky to have one at all. I know that many small schools have been forced to cut the nurses. Even our local federally funded BIA school district (that means lots of money) only has three for k-12 with about 120 kids per grade.

Amia Posted 21 May 2008 , 11:18pm
post #26 of 26

I guess I'm a little late here, but I just don't understand how hard it is to pick up the phone WHILE the child is IN the nurse's office and call the parent right then and there.

A good friend of mine is a school nurse too. At her school every accident is accompanied by an accident report that is sent home to be signed and returned, so that the school knows that the parents have been notified of their child's injury

Anyway, glad to hear you spoke with the principal and worked things out. Sounds like you had the nurse in the hot seat too.

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