Mother Of Bride Changed Her Mind After I Left? Help!!

Decorating By Lil_Belle Updated 10 Apr 2008 , 3:28am by indydebi

Lil_Belle Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 8:31pm
post #1 of 10

Ok so this is going to be long, sorry:

I recently met up with a family friend to do her sons wedding cake. Mind you son and bride to be are not involved in planning anything and mom is paying for it all. So We met and she said she didnât want anything fancy, just a FOUR tier cake with two separators, one with a gazebo on the bottom and flowers under the top tier. Well we worked it out that all of that would be too tall so she took out the top six inch divider and just wants the top three tiers to sit on each other. Then she adds that she only wants the top tier to be real and the others to be fake (Iâve never worked with dummies). So I left her house not knowing how much to charge her, so I said the top would be $30, and Iâd look up how much the dummies would be. Her daughter works at a shop that sells some cake supplies so all the dividers and pillars she will buy and then give to me icon_smile.gif.

But after I get home she changes her mind and wants petal tiers with the swags. Gah! Iâve found a place for dummy petals but there are only 4 sizes and she wants the top tier to be 8 inches. So my question: What sizes would you recommend, Iâm going to suggest adding a round to the bottom or middle, and where would I get separator plates to fit the different shapes? Sheâs also pulling the buying sheet cakes elsewhere and just having mine as display which kinda makes me angry but yeah...The weddingâs not until July so any help is welcome!!

9 replies
ccr03 Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:09pm
post #2 of 10

Dude, I would stop that order quick!

1. Totally agree with others on the stimulation that no other cake can be served alongside yours (liability issues, reputation, stupidity....)

2. The bride and groom not involved in the planning? %) Seems like a problem in the making. YOu think a bride is not going to want ANY say in what her wedding is like???

3. Dummies cakes WILL NOT SAVE MONEY!! Sure you don't cake the cake, but a good portion of what we charge is based on our time and effort. And trust me working with dummies is NOT easier than working with real cake. It can be more convenient, but not easier.

Lil_Belle Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:16pm
post #3 of 10

She hasn't done a tastng yet, so I'm considering that when she comes I'm going to let her know that she needs to have me make the sheet cakes. I want people to try my cakes! I'm thinking I'm going to have to charge her more, she's paying $100 right now. (prepares for being shouted at)

Chef_Stef Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:32pm
post #4 of 10

I won't even comment on the $100 OR the fact that the bride isn't involved at all.

However. If you price dummies, the cost of the icing, and your time, be sure you charge enough on the dummy cake, whether she gets all dummies or partial.

If the petal tiers are stacked, you can get petal shaped polyestyrene boards at logicpic.com, predrilled with a center hole. If you can't find an 8" petal, YOU tell HER what size she'll be getting, not the other way around.

I personally don't care a hoot if people bring sheet cakes from Costco, Walmart, or whever to a wedding. Usually I don't get TOLD that they are going to anyway--they just show up with them. I can do sheets, but I hate doing them anyway, and I'm sure not worried about someone eating the sheet cake and *thinking* it's my work...there's no way anyone would mistake the two: IMBC versus that criscowhipcrap that bakeries use...four layers of cake versus two (or none), etc.

Good luck. This one sounds like a PIA in the making.

apetricek Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:34pm
post #5 of 10

THIS SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE IN THE MAKING!!!! IF SHE CHANGED HER MIND ALREADY, CHANCES ARE SHE WILL CHANGE IT 100 MORE TIMES, ESPECIALLY SINCE JULY IS MONTHS AWAY. I HAD A MOTHER LIKE THIS, AND I CAN SAY IT DIDN'T END UP BEING WORTH THE MONEY FOR ALL THE TIME I PUT IN IT FOR HER. SHE WAS A PAIN IN THE BUTT, AND WAS CHEAP AND UNGRATEFUL FOR ALL I DID. THE BRIDE WAS ALSO NOT INVOLVED WHICH I THOUGHT WAS ODD! I LOVE MY MOM DEARLY, BUT WOULDN'T WANT HER TO CHOOSE MY CAKE. SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE IS A CONTROL FREAK, I WOULD GET OUT OF IT WHILE YOU CAN...IT PROBABLY WILL MAKE YOU NUTS IF NOT!!!

ladyonzlake Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:40pm
post #6 of 10

Wow, good luck with this one. I've seen on here where bakers have in their contracts that no other cakes are allowed at the event so I would address this with her. I agree that dummy cakes shouldn't be any less money...the "cake" is the inexpensive part, it's the decorting and time that is the costly part. Are you renting the dummies to her? If not then you have to charge her for the dummies which comes out to about the same cost as baking a cake.

moxey2000 Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:45pm
post #7 of 10

I don't think there would be anything wrong with you telling her that you don't think you're the right person to do this cake for her. When she asks why then tell her that you're afraid that the whole issue might ruin the friendship. Whether you intend to do the cake or not, if she thinks you're thinking of not doing it she may behave a little better.

Because she's a 'family friend' she doesn't value or respect you as a professional. Customers we aren't friends with can be a PITA and we decide whether we'll put up with them or not, but family friends seem to get away with SO much more. It's very important for you to deal with her in an effective and professional manner in order to ensure that future 'family friends' know where you stand. My 2 cents worth icon_smile.gif .

kellygray79 Posted 9 Apr 2008 , 9:54pm
post #8 of 10

Wow this does sound like a pain in the hiney! Best of luck to you. Keep us posted!!!

christeena Posted 10 Apr 2008 , 1:12am
post #9 of 10

icon_rolleyes.gif RUN! FORREST! RUN!! icon_rolleyes.gif

indydebi Posted 10 Apr 2008 , 3:28am
post #10 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by moxey2000

Because she's a 'family friend' she doesn't value or respect you as a professional. Customers we aren't friends with can be a PITA and we decide whether




Amen to that!!

And....

What Christeena said!!!

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%