Just Lost A Good Friend :'(

Decorating By grumpyx07 Updated 15 May 2008 , 7:42am by grumpyx07

grumpyx07 Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 8:25am
post #1 of 14

On Tuesday, I lost a very close friend of 7 years, Stephanie. She was only 21 and just suddenly passed away. I am devastated ...

While I was really close to my friend and I just can't believe all that is happening this week, her memorial service is on Saturday and I just can't bring myself to go. I knew her very well, but not really her family and I just can't watch her grandmother, father and brothers go through all of this. They were all just becoming happy again after they lost their mother 5 years ago.

I lost my dad almost 3 years ago and my friends mother last year, I just can't go to another funeral. I know my friend would understand me not being there, but do you think I'm being a bad friend? I was thinking of sending a box of cookies to her family though... crosses and flowers. Do you think that would be okay?

I just can't put into words how surreal these past few days have been. The anniversary of my dad passing is coming up soon and I always get depressed this time of year, and with this it's just like i've been hit with a ton of rocks. It feels like I've been crying for weeks.

Please, pray for Steph's family. I'm sorry if this post doesn't make sense, I'm just so upset.

I thought I would share this link with you, so you could see what a beautiful girl she was.
http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080327/OBITUARIES/803270507

13 replies
C-Lady Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 11:37am
post #2 of 14

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've experienced the sudden passing of a loved one, my mother, and I know how you're feeling. The only thing I can tell you that with time, things will get better.

If you're not feeling up to attending the services, then you shouldn't. Only you know what you can handle at this time. I know her family will understand.

Peace be with you and your friend's family.

sheila06 Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:20pm
post #3 of 14

I to am sorry for your loss. My husband has lost two of his very best friends over the past few years and my daughter and son has also lost a friend that was very dear to them (these kids were teenagers) but it doesn't matter the age it is the fact that you had such a wonderful friendship and it sounds like you "grew up" (assuming you are her age)with her during your years of life where you both were trying to discover who you were and what your purpose in life is for, teenage years are a time of exploration, curiosity, and discovery , what a precious time in one's life. A time that you will have memories of your friend that will take you through the rest of your life. Never let go of what you had with her, my prayers are with you and your friends family, may GOD bless you all and give you All comfort through this very difficult and devastating time.

confectioneista Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:37pm
post #4 of 14

I'm so sorry for your loss. May God surround you, and her family with His loving arms and comfort you all.

In lieu of going to her service, why don't you write to her family (when you feel up to it) and tell them of your friendship with her, the memories you have of her and the good times you spent together - kind of like your own eulogy of her. I'm sure they will appreciate your thoughtfullness of her memory and it may help you through your grieving as you remember the special things about your friend.

And may God continue to be with you during the anniversary of your father's passing.

KayDay Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:40pm
post #5 of 14

Prayers go up from my house to yours and the family of this lovely woman, who was lost so young. Bless you and I hope you are comforted in this time. My heart goes out to you.

CarolAnn Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:42pm
post #6 of 14

I am so sorry for your loss. Almost a year ago I suddenly lost my dear friend/cake buddy Becci and her small daughter in a car accident. I know how you must be feeling now. If you can't handle going to services I think that's fine. You don't have to answer to anyone for your feelings. Do what is best for you right now. No one knows what's best for you better than you do. I think taking or sending cookies would be a nice thing to do, and it'll make you feel good. Take care of yourself. God bless you.

grama_j Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:46pm
post #7 of 14

Funerals are for closure.....if you think there will even be a CHANCE that you will be sorry you did not say goodbye to your friend, I would advise you to go to one of the viewings...... you don't have to stay, and you don't have to go to the Mass, but it might behove you to say goodbye.....
Sunday will be to late........ God bless you all........

messyeater Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:47pm
post #8 of 14

So sorry for your loss. We lost a young friend of ours a couple of years ago and I honestly still can't believe he's not here.

If you can't go then a letter would be a lovely idea.

mommyle Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:49pm
post #9 of 14

My heart and prayers go out to you. It is difficult to lose someone we care so much for.
Take care of yourself. God doesn't care where you pray, Just do what is best for you at this time.
Hugs to you from us.

Wiltonlady Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:52pm
post #10 of 14

May God heal their aching hearts and bless them through this ordeal. And God bless you for having her in your life.

My advice is to go to the services and help her family, even if it's just holding their hand and listen.

My brother lost his 4 year old granddaughter last year. He had friends and family to help him and his family through this horrible time by just being there to hold his hand and listen.

God bless.

PatW

Sugar_Plum_Fairy Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:52pm
post #11 of 14

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My sympathy and prayers to you and Stephanie's family members.

I know what it's like to experience sudden and unexpected loss. It's hard no matter what the circumstances, but I believe it's even more difficult and less likely to be understood when the person you lose is younger. I agree with the pp's: if you don't think you can stand it, then, by all means, don't go. Just remember that this is your final "visit". This is where you say goodbye in a way and try to imagine how you'll feel in the future if you don't go. Try to make sure that this is what you really want to do as to avoid future regrets, but do what you feel in your heart is right for you.

May God's love help to heal the hurt you are now experiencing.

ccr03 Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 2:55pm
post #12 of 14

I have no idea what to say other than I'm am so sorry to hear about your loss.

TheButterWench Posted 28 Mar 2008 , 5:10pm
post #13 of 14

Wow, how precious is life? I'm so sorry that you lost a friend.

If your heart is not in it to go as long as you pay your respects in another way I'm sure her family will understand.

Here's a hug.

{{{HUG}}}

grumpyx07 Posted 15 May 2008 , 7:42am
post #14 of 14

It seems I haven't been getting any notification emails of replies. So I am very sorry I never replied to any of you, but thank you so very much for your comments, prayers, and thoughts.

I didn't end up going to the service, and it's been almost two months now. I still miss Stephanie, but I know she's with her mom.

Again thank you for your comments.

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