Second Marriage - Long

Decorating By janebrophy Updated 30 Mar 2008 , 3:25pm by Melvira

janebrophy Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 8:12pm
post #1 of 30

Ok, so I've been asked to make a cake for a very small wedding. Probably only about 20 people. The bride is about 30 weeks pregnant with twins, and she's 40! She has 4 kids from a previous marriage, but she and her future hubby decided that they wanted kids of their own as well. How brave is she?? icon_lol.gif
So, a woman I work with is having the ceremony at her house, and wanted me to make a SHEETCAKE! I'm sorry - but I get roped into more sheetcakes than I care to even mention - I can't make one for a wedding, I don't care how small it is! The bride is a super nice woman, and deserves so much to have a marvelous wedding, and cake as far as I'm concerned. She doesn't know that there will be a cake, it's a surprise. My questions are should I still make the top tier to be kept for their anniversary? Is an all white cake too much for this kind of ceremony? I want this to be something great for a really nice person, but I don't want to go overboard?!?!?!

29 replies
kakeladi Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 9:25pm
post #2 of 30

Sent you some pix via pm. Do uyou want more? icon_smile.gif

janebrophy Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 10:22pm
post #3 of 30

kakeladi - I didn't get the pics, not sure if it's me or the site!
Thanks in Advance!

TheButterWench Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 10:57pm
post #4 of 30

Sometimes doing a small kindness comes back 3 fold.

If you're comfortable making a small cake for her to keep, do it.

You can make the sheet cake and then place some cake columns in a corner or in the center and place your smaller cake.

It will have the look of a seperate tier.

luddroth Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 11:16pm
post #5 of 30

Forget the sheet cake -- some people just ask for them because they think that's the only way to feed more than 8 people. Make her a pretty wedding cake, and white is fine (lots of people wear white for second weddings). It sounds like she's a brave lady who could use a really special tribute right now. A smallish 2-tiered cake with colored flowers, ribbons, etc. would be perfect. And you'll have a lot more fun with it.

ceshell Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 11:24pm
post #6 of 30

Aww, you are so sweet...why not do a tiny little anniversary tier?!

OR when you say "I can't make one for a wedding, I don't care how small it is!" does that mean you still don't plan to make a sheetcake? Can you make a nice round cake instead? What would that be...8 or 9" cake? And then instead of a 2nd tier, offer the bride a miniature replica (say...4") freshly made for her anniversary. That's what my bakery did when I got married - I went in a year later and got a fresh replica of my top tier. Much better than trying to freeze it for 12 months! Then it would satisfy them if they feel that having a "tiered" cake would be overkill for a small at-home wedding with 20 people.

LOL if that is too much to think about (i.e. planning to make this cake a year later) what the heck, do the top tier but just make sure the person ordering is ok with you actually stacking it on the cake rather than giving it to the bride boxed, as a nice gift.

ladyonzlake Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 11:24pm
post #7 of 30

You could make her a simple 2 tiered cake and she can keep the top. Sometimes simple is the prettiest!

janebrophy Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 11:39pm
post #8 of 30

Thanks guys! I really hope to make her a special cake, I guess I just needed to hear that it wouldn't necessarily be overkill! I'll post a pic when it's done! icon_biggrin.gif

imartsy Posted 15 Mar 2008 , 11:50pm
post #9 of 30

Oh yeah I'd definitely make her something nicer... maybe a square cake though so its easy for them to cut? - depending on if they are having a caterer or someone to cut the cake...

As far as flavor, I think white is perfectly fine. Although you could do a chocolate tier too if you end up with more than one tier...

As far as an anniversary tier - I dunno - my personal opinion is that they're kinda stupid. I'd rather get a coupon for a discounted anniversary tier on my actual anniversary.... I just think keeping something in the freezer for a year is gross.... and I'd rather have a fresh cake to celebrate my anniversary - and if it's made in the same flavor as the wedding cake, then how is it really any different other than its fresh? !

That's just my personal opinion though. I think you're really sweet for thinking of this woman and wanting to make her something really special.

CNCS Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 12:26am
post #10 of 30

You can make the sheet cake and then place some cake columns in a corner or in the center and place your smaller cake.

It will have the look of a seperate tier.

With a round or square tier would be pretty.

janebrophy Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 12:57am
post #11 of 30

All of these ideas are great! I'm glad I have a couple of weeks until the day! icon_lol.gif

darcat Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 1:11am
post #12 of 30

oh for sure make something special. I was pregnant for my first wedding lol and had a small birthday type cake. So when I remarried I said to heck with this I want the real thing and had a lovely 2 tier cake. I wish I could see the bride's face when she sees the cake I'm betting she'll be smiling from ear to ear or crying lol. It's so nice of you to do this for her. God bless you

DecoratingDingbat Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 1:39am
post #13 of 30

I'm sort of in same situation as this lady, and I would love it if someone cared enough to do something so nice - and go all out! I found that people tend to play down the second wedding, but I really want to play it up! I'm more excited and know what I want - but I keep hesitating because I hear people saying "who's she trying to kid?" Often I wish someone would take the reins and go all out, then I wouldn't keep thinking "too much? It is a second marriage after all" - even though my first marriage was over 20yrs ago. The fact that this couple wants children of their own tells me that this wedding - even if it's small - should be celebrated with as much zealous as friends can give!

Don't forget her baby shower too! thumbs_up.gif I know traditionaly people only have showers for the first baby, but times are changing. Weddings, showers etc. are all about creating beautiful memories and celebrating - no matter if it's the second relationship - or the fifth and sixth child! She must be ecstatic inside! This is a big deal to her and I'm sure she'll love everyone treating as such! icon_wink.gif

FromScratch Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 1:53am
post #14 of 30

Oh I would make her something nice too. A two tiered cake 6" on top of an 8" would be 30 servings.. that's not tons of extra cake.. and it will look nice on a simple cake plateau. SHe deserves something nice and it will make you feel good to do it. I love doing things like that. icon_smile.gif

janebrophy Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 10:54am
post #15 of 30

When I got married, it was my first wedding, and my DH's second. He was only married for about 1 yr, and it wasn't over long before we got married. We ended up eloping, I just really didn't want a giant wedding, especially since people would be like, uh we were just here, doing the same thing, just a different girl! I didn't even eat cake on my wedding day! Can you imagine? What was I thinking?? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
Anyway, I know that it doesn't make the marriage any less special, so I'm glad to hear that you all agree! There is a really pretty cake on the cover of one of my wilton wedding books. It is done in white fondant, with RI dots on all of the tiers, and gumpaste roses for the borders along the bottom of the tiers. I think I'm going to use that design. It is very simple and elegant, without being too showy just in case!

Charmaine49 Posted 16 Mar 2008 , 11:34am
post #16 of 30

Jane, you go with what your heart tells you!! Just the fact that you are able to do this wonderful favor for them is enough!
And, I agree with all the others, make this a special day for them both, she can always keep the top tier for a shower cake, christening cake.
I'm sure she will be very taken aback by your gesture!! thumbs_up.gif

TheButterWench Posted 17 Mar 2008 , 6:49pm
post #17 of 30
Originally Posted by jkalman

Oh I would make her something nice too. A two tiered cake 6" on top of an 8" would be 30 servings.. that's not tons of extra cake.. and it will look nice on a simple cake plateau. SHe deserves something nice and it will make you feel good to do it. I love doing things like that. icon_smile.gif

I agree, going the extra mile on orders for people that deserve it make me feel all fuzzy and warm.

Makes dealing with the crazy people worth it.

janebrophy Posted 29 Mar 2008 , 11:18pm
post #18 of 30

Quick update - I delivered the cake today, and I'm so glad! My first real wedding cake! Thanks so much to everyone for all of your wisdom! The bride is now carrying twins that are approx. 5lbs each and are expected to hit 7 before being born! Thanks again!

Charmaine49 Posted 29 Mar 2008 , 11:28pm
post #19 of 30

Jane, your cake looks stunning!!
Did you make those roses yourself? they look wonderful.
Take it the mom-to-be was taken aback with her wedding cake.....

janebrophy Posted 29 Mar 2008 , 11:37pm
post #20 of 30

Thanks Charmaine! Yes, I make the roses out of gumpaste. I didn't stick around to see her, so I really hope she liked it!

Melvira Posted 29 Mar 2008 , 11:52pm
post #21 of 30

I'm glad I stumbled across this one! Your cake turned out absolutely gorgeous, and it has to feel good to know you made something special for her. I am certain you made the day extra special for her. icon_wink.gif Now... you deserve something special, too!! Hope you get to put your feet up for a few minutes and enjoy the warm glow of your kind act!

I hate to downplay things the way some people do... I am having my second child and I am having a shower because this baby is no less special than the first. I am making it clear to people that I don't need anything... if they feel like they really want to give a gift, diapers would be fantastic, but it's not necessary. I just want to celebrate with my friends and family, rejoice in the fact that another amazing little human is coming to us! icon_wink.gif

CarolAnn Posted 29 Mar 2008 , 11:53pm
post #22 of 30

I'm sure the bride was thrilled. The cake is very lovely! I'm glad you decided to make her a small tiered cake. I'm sure it added a lot to their special day. Good for you!

giggysmack Posted 29 Mar 2008 , 11:53pm
post #23 of 30

A very pretty cake and beautiful roses!!!!

janebrophy Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 12:19am
post #24 of 30

Thanks again everyone! I'm just glad it turned out, and I hope she had a really great day. I agree, people really tend to downplay "repeat" events. I have 3 kids, and each one is so special. But people really do "boo" having more than one baby shower etc, etc. Good for you Melvira, enjoy every second of it!! thumbs_up.gif

fiddlesticks Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 12:38am
post #25 of 30

janebrophy.. What a beautiful cake and roses! Im sure the bride will remember your kindness. And how extra special you made her day!

susieq76 Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 2:06pm
post #26 of 30

It came out just beautiful!!!!! Love it- soooo much nicer than a sheetcake (ik).

FYI- my wedding was also my first and DH's second. We got married in 2001 and although he hadn't lived with his ex for about 2 years his divorce wasn't final until 2000. They were only together about a year as well. We did have a wedding- but a very small by my families standards (about 100 people).

Oh and I was about 6 weeks pregnant with twins (that drs said I could never get pregnant). They were 6 1/2lbs each and I gave birth at 34 1/2 weeks icon_confused.gif I also have a third son born 13 months later icon_smile.gif

TheButterWench Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 2:07pm
post #27 of 30

Hahaha, Jane! What a lovely way to get over the "Making wedding cake jitters!" You did something wonderful, made someone feel special and you got this experience under your belt!

So you actually came out winning because you followed your kind heart.

Oh yeah, by the way the cake is lovely also! I can't wait until you post her reaction if she give it to you!

Thank you for sharing this. I now feel warm and fuzzy

CarolAnn Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 2:09pm
post #28 of 30

I think it's a great idea to have a shower to celebrate a new baby. I've never heard of anyone giving/having one just for that purpose, and not for loading up on gifts/baby stuff. Good idea and good for you! I may just look for an opportunity to do that here and see how it flies. Sort of a little welcoming reception for baby.

Charmaine49 Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 2:37pm
post #29 of 30

Melvira, I agree with you!
I don't see why you can't have a baby shower with each and every baby that you have, as we do here, cause they are all individuals and they are special gifts from heaven. So, why not celebrate their arrival with a get-together.
Even if it is just to have cake and tea and a chat, no gifts necessary.
All the best with your new arrival!!

Melvira Posted 30 Mar 2008 , 3:25pm
post #30 of 30

Thank you CarolAnn and Charmaine!! icon_biggrin.gif Bless your kind hearts!

You know, it's funny, people are talking about secnd weddings, and when someone says they had a small 'no big deal' wedding because it was the husband's second (even though it was their first) that seems odd to me. Honestly, even though the husband is involved (hehehe) isn't the wedding more about the bride? icon_lol.gif I know, that is so old fashioned of me to think that way, but really, when I got married, my husband couldn't have cared less what flowers, what colors, etc, etc as long as he ended up married to me at the end, and as long as I was happy with all of it! (He's a doll!!) A lot of guys do get involved nowadays though, I know it's true! I'm not being sexist!!

The only time I was ever bothered by a large second wedding was with my cousin. She got married, divorced within 9 months, then got engaged immediately to the next guy, scheduled the wedding for ONE WEEK before my FIRST wedding, (so, like a 3 month engagement) and had a huge wedding with 6 bridesmaids, etc. even bigger than the first wedding! icon_eek.gif Had the showers and all, expected everyone to give a SECOND SET of expensive gifts. And knew that by putting hers one week before mine she would be kind of stealing my thunder. So... I did the only 'nice' thing I could do... I secretly moved my wedding up a month and didn't tell her until she had hers all booked and couldn't change anything. icon_biggrin.gif

Sorry to steal the thread... just had to share my experience with that. I fully believe that no matter what it is, even your second or third time around (or more) deserves the same respect and attention. The only thing that bothers me is people that are gift grubbers... you know the ones, they never come to your functions or give anyone else gifts, but when they have something going on, if you aren't there with bells on and an expensive gift, you are dogfood! And ohhhhh will they tell everyone about it! (I have a couple cousins like that unfortunately!) icon_sad.gif

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