Friends Can So Suck!

Decorating By Auryn Updated 23 Feb 2008 , 1:50pm by TheButterWench

Auryn Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 6:20pm
post #1 of 39

sounds to me like he needs a bill sent to his house and his place of business

sad but true- no favors in business- no matter what business your in

38 replies
leily Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 6:21pm
post #2 of 39

Definitely a hard lesson to learn, but unfortunately it is true.

I have come to the conclusion of I don't care who you are, if you are ordering a cake here are the rules, if you don't follow them then you don't get your order.

Anyone who really wants something from me has no problems, if the balk, then I can pretty much gaurentee that I would get screwed in the end some how, so I don't want to deal with them anyways.

babyqueen Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 6:21pm
post #3 of 39

From now on, you should just do up your regular price, and then offer 10% off or something for friends. That way they know they are getting a discount, that you offered, and are less likely to barter, trade, haggle.
I know from experience that family and friends can be a real nightmare!

BlueDevil Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 6:38pm
post #4 of 39

Note to "self" (all of us!): There really are friends in business.

Friends pay promptly with a smile and are gracious and complimentary for a job well done. They do not presume to strong arm you and wreck your financial well-being based on the strength of your "friendship".

Your mistake was misidentifying a blood sucking parasite as a friend. He is NOT your friend. My guess is that he was friendly and charming, but never did ANYTHING for you that cost him as much as a nickle or minute of his time...am I right?

WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS! lol

Good luck with the shop!

FlowerGirlMN Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 6:39pm
post #5 of 39

Wanna know how much friends can suck?

My MOH fro when I got married is engaged. Invited her to my tasting, with her obnoxious loudmouth fiance (who is supposedly a friend!). He doesn't like fondant, I know what he's like.. so I asked her ahead of time to keep him under control at my tasting.. that this is how I earn my living!

Well.. he behaved himself through the tasting. I let out a HUGE sigh of relief as he made his way to the door.

Now,keep in mind that there is a looooong banquet table set up between where I was, and the door. 15 chairs long (total of 30) to be exact.

well, he got to the door, where my husband was, and started LOUDLY asking (whining, really) for y husband to "TALK TO" me, to talk me into doing a buttercream cake for him, knowing DAMN WELLL that I don'tdo it. I'd had the convo with him and his fiancee a few times before. She understood, he DOESN"T GET IT.

So, in front of ALL that potential business, he starts spewing off about how this is HIS wedding and he WILL NOT be peeling ANYTHING off HIS CAKE!! I mean, I heard him fro across that looooong table, over everyone in between us!

AAAUGH. I was SO pissed about it. WTF does he get off devaluing my product like that???

The next day,his fiancee messages me to tell me that she thinks she's talked him into going for a fondant cake. I am NOT DOING THAT ^%$$# CAKE!!!!!!!!!!

I just haven't figured out how to tell her yet.

BlueDevil Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 6:39pm
post #6 of 39

Note to "self" (all of us!): There really are friends in business.

Friends pay promptly with a smile and are gracious and complimentary for a job well done. They do not presume to strong arm you and wreck your financial well-being based on the strength of your "friendship".

Your mistake was misidentifying a blood sucking parasite as a friend. He is NOT your friend. My guess is that he was friendly and charming, but never did ANYTHING for you that cost him as much as a nickle or minute of his time...am I right?

WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS! lol

Good luck with the shop!

Auryn Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 7:18pm
post #7 of 39

FLowerGirl
you can tell her that despite her fiance's obnoxious behavior one of the couples from the tasting already booked and put down a deposit for her date
and just dont budge

Butterwench
I am hoping you will be sending him invoices for his outstanding balance.

ckkerber Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 7:18pm
post #8 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheButterWench

He shows up at 4:30 to pick up the cake, is upset because I don't tell him how fabulous he looks ( all I'm worried about is my other 100) We pack up the cake in a box and cover the top with seran wrap and he leaves.




Huh???

Did he go on and on about how gorgeous your CAKE was?

Here's my two cents. DO NOT forget about this debt. That, in my opinion, is not taking the high road, it is being a doormat. Sorry to be so blunt but you DESERVE the full payment given all you have done! You were willing to give this guy a $500 cake for $300 . . . THAT'S taking the high road. THAT'S being a friend. Forgiving him the extra $100 just tells him that you're a push over and that he's charming enough to get what he wants when he wants.

Think of it this way . . . he showed up at a wedding with a $500 present. He got kudos for this and heck, he probably even took credit for MAKING it. You ALREADY did him a favor - a BIG one. He doesn't deserve another.

Please, please do not let him take more advantage of you than he already has!

TheButterWench Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 7:26pm
post #9 of 39

Yep, he was a user in school and a user in real life. I knew this, but thought that since I already GAVE him a 200 discount we were cool.

Never again

You think coz you winch and moan with someone in school about teachers, projects and assignments that you can consider them your friends..lol

Well, lesson learned. I've sent him his second email, he ignored the first one.

I know I'm not going to see him again unless he needs something.

ckkerber Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 7:27pm
post #10 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerGirlMN

Wanna know how much friends can suck?

My MOH fro when I got married is engaged. Invited her to my tasting, with her obnoxious loudmouth fiance (who is supposedly a friend!). He doesn't like fondant, I know what he's like.. so I asked her ahead of time to keep him under control at my tasting.. that this is how I earn my living!

Well.. he behaved himself through the tasting. I let out a HUGE sigh of relief as he made his way to the door.

Now,keep in mind that there is a looooong banquet table set up between where I was, and the door. 15 chairs long (total of 30) to be exact.

well, he got to the door, where my husband was, and started LOUDLY asking (whining, really) for y husband to "TALK TO" me, to talk me into doing a buttercream cake for him, knowing DAMN WELLL that I don'tdo it. I'd had the convo with him and his fiancee a few times before. She understood, he DOESN"T GET IT.

So, in front of ALL that potential business, he starts spewing off about how this is HIS wedding and he WILL NOT be peeling ANYTHING off HIS CAKE!! I mean, I heard him fro across that looooong table, over everyone in between us!

AAAUGH. I was SO pissed about it. WTF does he get off devaluing my product like that???

The next day,his fiancee messages me to tell me that she thinks she's talked him into going for a fondant cake. I am NOT DOING THAT ^%$$# CAKE!!!!!!!!!!

I just haven't figured out how to tell her yet.





Ohhh . . . this is a tough one. He definitely acted way out of line and like a complete a$$, not taking into account your business, your feelings, or your friendship. That sucks.

Having said that, he's probably stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wants a buttercream cake for his wedding. You can't really fault someone for wanting to get exactly what they want given the importance of the cake at a wedding. So he wants one thing, but his friendship with you (and his fiancee's) makes him feel like he has to get the cake from you which means compromising what he really likes and wants because it's probably so important for his bride to have a cake made by one of her best friends. I'm in the camp that it's definitely more meaningful to have the friend contribute to such an important part of the wedding, but he's probably a bit fixated on the fact that he's making concessions.

He's definitely acting like a Groom-zilla over this and owes you a big apology for his public temper tantrum. But I can see just a tiny bit why he's torn.

FlowerGirlMN Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 7:47pm
post #11 of 39

I should have mentioned - it's hard to know exactly what his feelings are on fondant, because he's got a HUGE rep of being difficult for the sake of being difficult.

If he's in a roo full of people, he has to argue something, and be heard by everyone. I've heard him argue FOR the opposite of his actual position, just because everyone was on the side he actually believes in. Ya know?

tiggy2 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:11pm
post #12 of 39

I'd tell her exactly what you told us "I'm not making that friggin cake". I'd also tell her he cost you business with his outburst at the tasting. You don't need him telling everyone at the wedding that he hates fondant but you made him have a fondant wedding cake. He didn't have any problem making an a$$ of himself at your place of business so I wouldn't have any problem telling her the truth.

Narie Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:15pm
post #13 of 39

Good luck to the Groom-zilla's fiancee. If she's smart, she will cancel the cake and everything else connected to the wedding. Spend the money- post break up- on a vacation to Hawaii or a week or two at luxury spa. It would be a lot cheaper and more fun than therapy or divorce. This guy sounds like pimple.

ButterWench- "Friend" I don't think so. He sounds like another pimple.

Definition of a Pimple- a person who sees the world only from his own point of view, other people's needs, feelings or opinions are unimportant and are properly ignored or ridiculed.

indydebi Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:23pm
post #14 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerGirlMN

If he's in a roo full of people, he has to argue something, and be heard by everyone. I've heard him argue FOR the opposite of his actual position, just because everyone was on the side he actually believes in. Ya know?




omg, I know people like that! they will argue you to the wall that the sun rises in the west JUST for the sake of arguing! icon_eek.gif

darandon Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:24pm
post #15 of 39

I'd send your "friend" a total invoice broken down - listing everything including the deep discount you gave him and then list out the total still due. You might never get from him, but at least he'd know. Or better yet, send it to the bridal couple so they could see what is "gift" was.

FlowerGirlMN Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:27pm
post #16 of 39

when they started dating, a few of us put bets on when she'd strangle him. For real. By 3 months, we figured she has the patience of a saint.

She knows what she's getting into though. She actually told me that the reason he has to have his say on everything with the wedding is so that she doesn't have to hear about it for the rest of her life. Ugh.

The funny thing is that I think the only reason he's doing this is because I did him a bday cake a year ago that was theed around his favorite tv show - piped its logo in buttercream. He was in LOVE with that cake, and it seems like that's why he's stuck on buttercream.. keeps saying that he LOVED that one so much, etc etc

sweetnik Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:29pm
post #17 of 39

GREAT idea Darandon!!!!!!!! That is perfect - send a copy to him and one to the couple! That'll just kill his arrogant a$$!!!! Hahahaha!

Happy cake-ing! Nik icon_smile.gif

terrig007 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:37pm
post #18 of 39

Send this "friend" an invoice to his home and/or his work place. If that fails, seriously, take him on Judge Judy. There was a case on there where this woman worked with this other woman and she made the cake for the wedding as her gift, all she asked for was the supplies which was something like $250. The woman gave her $50 but never anymore. Anyway, Judge Judy gave bridezilla a tongue lashing and I'm sure she would to this, I would venture a guess he's also a pretty boy, too! Chin
up & as everyone has said, you have friends here! thumbs_up.gif

terrig007 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:37pm
post #19 of 39

Send this "friend" an invoice to his home and/or his work place. If that fails, seriously, take him on Judge Judy. There was a case on there where this woman worked with this other woman and she made the cake for the wedding as her gift, all she asked for was the supplies which was something like $250. The woman gave her $50 but never anymore. Anyway, Judge Judy gave bridezilla a tongue lashing and I'm sure she would to this, I would venture a guess he's also a pretty boy, too! Chin
up & as everyone has said, you have friends here! thumbs_up.gif

canoewoman Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:40pm
post #20 of 39

TheButterWench, make sure you pursue the $100. I would send an invoice and include a due date and the interest charged to date. If he comes to you again asking for a cake include the $100 into the price and be firm. It is almost worth it (in a petty low level way) to say yes next time he comes at the last minute needing a cake and then be gone when he shows up to get it. Sorry buddy, do unto others . . . and since he has alreday unto'd you no harm done.

milissasmom Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 8:50pm
post #21 of 39

Sounds like an OLD gigolo friend I know from the HOOD in South Central LA! Wanna-Be accomplished fake con-artist who likes to brag about all that he HAS but still wants the Home Boy Hook-up! Man-o-man do I hate that sort of thing. Look, forget you know this fool. Collect your money if you want but if it costs you 100 bucks to learn this lesson (which is sounds like you did) and to get rid of this idiot, count yourself LUCKY. People like him will never ever be good customers so you are not losing anything. I hate people who play that Homeboy/Home girl BS. A real friend respects the fact that you are a business person and what to do business with you because you have an awesome product. Maybe he needs to take his BEHIND (NO, this is not the word I want to use) back to Culinary school and learn how to not make lop-sided a%$ cakes and bake his own s*%t! This bugs me to no end! Gigolo punk....he wouldnt have done that if you were a man!

ckkerber Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 9:19pm
post #22 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheButterWench

Yep, he was a user in school and a user in real life. I knew this, but thought that since I already GAVE him a 200 discount we were cool.

Never again

You think coz you winch and moan with someone in school about teachers, projects and assignments that you can consider them your friends..lol

Well, lesson learned. I've sent him his second email, he ignored the first one.

I know I'm not going to see him again unless he needs something.




Just because he's always been a bit of an a$$ and the fact that you "should have seen this coming" . . . don't let him off the hook. My bet is that lots of people do, and he's got a trail of "friends" in his wake that have never heard from him again. I bet he's not used to being called upon to do the right thing. Maybe if others had, he wouldn't have even considered screwing you over.

marmalade1687 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 9:38pm
post #23 of 39

ButterWench, I would send that invoice straight-away...even if he doesn't pay it, at least you can prove that you have started the proceedings in the right direction (if it ever gets as far as small-claims court). And keep all copies of any letters, invoices, and emails for your own records!

FlowerGirl, be honest - tell the bride that you won't do the cake because he was rude, he cost you business at the tasting, and you won't have him mouthing off at the wedding that he hates fondant and that you wouldn't work with what he wanted - let the bride tear a strip off him for losing a great cake designer!

indydebi Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 9:40pm
post #24 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by marmalade1687

..... let the bride tear a strip off him for losing a great cake designer!




YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dustymorris Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 9:49pm
post #25 of 39

TheButterWench--I hate to hear this!!! What a jerk! icon_mad.gif
I'm so mad I don't even know what to say!!! icon_mad.gificon_mad.gif

itsajeepthing0196 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 9:51pm
post #26 of 39

you should wait till he needs a new cake, then tell him you'll do it, and then when he comes to pic it up you dont have a cake for him icon_mad.gificon_twisted.gif But seriously! go get your money girl! thumbs_up.gif

TheButterWench Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 9:58pm
post #27 of 39

the real sad thing is that I didn't listen to myself and right now making buttercream being an ounce short of my 2 pounds of sugar and tearing open little packets of sugar to make up the diff...I so agree that he wouldn't have done this to me if I were a man.

but that's ok, payback is coming.

100 dollar lesson that's going to make me "FIERCE" lol

***************************************
just off the point a little , how things happen when you try too hard.

I tried to make this cake as beautiful as I possibly could. It was for a commitment ceremony for 2 guys, and I know that there would've been a lot of people against this union so I wanted them to have something truly beautiful and made with love.

I used my cornelli rolling pin on the middle layer and used pearl dust to brush it and covered the whole cake in irridecent Disco dust so it would shimmer.

A simple cake since I really didn't have time to apply the flying monkeys but my best effort in 24 hours.

I even had their initials coming out of the cake topper.

He said nothing to me about the cake, wanted to know how GORGEOUS HE looked.

Ok fine, done venting, no more favors and this one, I'm going to eat because it taught me well.

foxymomma521 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 10:01pm
post #28 of 39

I used to be a bill collector in a previous life...(I was good at it too tapedshut.gif ) Nothing got people to pay their bill quicker than calling them at work. Letters don't work, neither do messages. They get thrown away and deleted. You need to call him AT WORK (google the number) not on his cell. He sounds vain to me, and won't like it if you call him on this. But I can almost guarantee that if you never do any more than send an e-mail you won't see anymore $$...
In the end he'll see you the respectable person you are, not just someone else to use...

foxymomma521 Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 10:01pm
post #29 of 39

Sorry thumbsdown.gif

Edit Posted 22 Feb 2008 , 10:09pm
post #30 of 39

I wouldn't even be suprised if this guy sold your cake as his, to his friends.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%