Am I Crazy?

Decorating By CajunDaisy Updated 4 Nov 2007 , 8:45pm by indydebi

CajunDaisy Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 7:58pm
post #1 of 13

Our family is planning a huge 60th anniverary party for my grandparents. My aunt found the original cake topper from the wedding and we planned on using that for the cake(s) that we will be making for the party. Part of it will look like the traditional wedding cake with other cakes around it that will represent "all the family favorites" that my grandmother has requested. Someone in the family suggested bringing lots of other desserts and I felt offended. I know the family doesn't understand the time and effort involved in making cakes, but it is really frustrating to think that family won't eat as much cake because they would be filling up on other desserts? I guess I am viewing it as more of a another reception and the other part of the family just views it as a potluck. There are a few family members that think I am crazy for feeling offended.... Am I?

12 replies
playingwithsugar Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:06pm
post #2 of 13

Yes, I think you are wrong on this one.

First, not everyone eats cake. Second, I think that bringing together all the family favorites is something that binds us together, like having the same exact menu for every Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. It is just an extension of family continuity.

What they should do is have everyone who brings a dish or dessert bring their recipes along, too, to share with family members, and put together a big family cookbook. If the recipe comes from a relative long-gone, try to bring a picture of them along.

What a memory that would make!

Theresa icon_smile.gif

mommyle Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:11pm
post #3 of 13

Hi there.
I don't think that you are crazy for being offended, I would be. That being said, you just have to understand that others want to contribute to the occasion. The same thing happened for our friend's 10th wedding anniversary. I brought a 4 tier cake (all covered in chocolate, like they had asked for) in a variety of flavors, and a couple of other people brought BOUGHT slices as well. I just had to realize that their hearts were with the couple, and that was all that mattered. Oh well....

confectioneista Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:12pm
post #4 of 13

I get how you feel. It is a lot of effort that's put into making a cake(s) and those who don't make cakes don't get it.

Besides, this anniversary sounds like it was originally meant to be a special celebration - not just an occasion to eat (i.e. a potluck). Potlucks are something you do for church socials, etc. - not 60th anniversaries. And too, your grandmother requested family favorites as part of the other cakes - the rest of the family should respect that and leave it at that.

So no, I don't think your crazy.

gateaux Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:12pm
post #5 of 13

People often dont understand how much work goes into a cake.

I am sure it's simply because everyone wants to participate a little bit of who they are that they also want to bring other items.

Just remember it's about celebrating the whole family your grand-parents helped to create and the cake and the rest of the meal is part of that celebration also.

Good Luck

costumeczar Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:13pm
post #6 of 13

I hate to say it, I don't think you're crazy but I do think that you need to realize that other people also want to do something for the party. 60 is a big anniversary, so it's natural that everyone would want to do something. I understand that you have your specialty, which is cakes, but that doesn't mean that nobody else should eb able to bring desserts if that's what people want to do. Just enjoy the fact that there's so much sugar to be eaten!

On the other hand, you might have family members who are jealous that you might get more attention than they do for bringing a big cake to the party. If that's the case, everyone needs to relax, because it sounds like everyone, including you, is going to end up mad. Just do what you want to do if you think that it will please the anniversary couple, and don't worry about what contributions other people are making.

CajunDaisy Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:21pm
post #7 of 13

Thanks! I knew that yall would "get" what I was frustrated about and at the same time help me to see other sides as well. CC is part of the reason I enjoy cakes so much.

ApplegumKitchen Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:24pm
post #8 of 13

OK - you asked for opinions - and you might get upset when not everybody is on your side.

YES - I think you are wrong to get upset by this - it is a celebration! it is not all about cake nor all about you - just because we are cakers/bakers doesn't give us some sort of superiority over those lesser mortals that might enjoy something OTHER then cake (shock horror!)

I understand a lot of time and effort goes into cakes BUT I really don't think your family are going out of their way to upset you by bringing something else - they probably WANT to contribute as well! I can understand why they can't understand WHY you are so offended. They are merely trying to HELP you - try looking at it through their eyes and I think you will find yourself being less upset.

Give yourself a break - do a nice cake - everybody will love it!! Just because that isn't ALL that is eaten doesn't make it any less important or special !! Don't create a problem where it doesn't exist

No offense intended - just giving my opinion on the story

ApplegumKitchen Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:28pm
post #9 of 13
Originally Posted by CajunDaisy

Thanks! I knew that yall would "get" what I was frustrated about and at the same time help me to see other sides as well. CC is part of the reason I enjoy cakes so much.

Oops - looks like we were typing at the same time - glad to see you have "chilled" a little.

Have a great day and do "a little less" and PARTY!

indydebi Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:28pm
post #10 of 13

The wedding I had last night was my Grand Reception, which included an appetizer & dessert table, which was open to the guests upon their arrival. You can see pics and a list of everything on these tables in my Flickr website (link below). Even with a dessert table BEFORE dinner, the guests ate heartily at the buffet .... hardly any leftovers, which is a great compliment! They still had room for wedding cake after dinner.

Some people ate more choc covered strawberries than others ... some ate more cookies than others ... the point is that having other desserts/sweets PRIOR to dinner and cake didn't hinder their appetite for dinner and cake.

springlakecake Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:35pm
post #11 of 13

Well whatever they do, I am sure your cake will steal the thunder anyway!

cariage Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:40pm
post #12 of 13

why don't you set up 2 tables at the "reception" site. You could have one table decorated and set your cake up on that one and have it be the centerpiece and then have all the other desserts on another table nearby. That would make your cake the focal point but allow everyone else to bring their desserts as well. And playingwithsugar has a great idea about bring pictures and copies of the recipes. I have a similar cookbook and I use it almost's my favorite. PLUS you also get to try the desserts on the table before you make them.

indydebi Posted 4 Nov 2007 , 8:45pm
post #13 of 13
Originally Posted by cariage

PLUS you also get to try the desserts on the table before you make them.

Great idea! We did this at one place I worked. We created a 'company cookbook' then had a pitch-in day where people brought in their cookbook recipe. We put little tent signs by each dish to identify it, like "Debi's Chicken & Potatoe Soup ... page 17". IT went over really well!!

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