I Can Be So Evil

Lounge By barbaranoel Updated 30 Oct 2007 , 10:42pm by barbaranoel

barbaranoel Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 12:15am
post #1 of 11

I have an ex icon_evil.gif friend whom I've been waiting to pay her back and now's my time.

Yea, yea, yea, I know, turn the other cheek and all that, but it's been two months and I haven't been able to do that.

About two months ago the wench called CPS on us - saying our 3yr old liked to cut himself and kept knives, scissors and razorblades under his bed icon_confused.gif

They showed up at my door on a Friday and interviewed me and the 3yr old and then had to come back on the following Tues to talk to dh and our 10yr old.

Basically, their response was "Why would someone do this to you?" We have been cleared but that was a hellish weekend to say the least. The only reason we could think of that she did this was because we pulled him out of her care on Tuesday and she called Thursday (we had given her a two week notice) - She had been his babysitter for the last year. Needless to say after that Friday she was no longer watching him.

Today, I talked to the head of the PTO (the biggest gossip in the school district) and offered to make cakes for the Secret Santa lunches in December. She wanted me to come to the PTO mtg next week but I told her I wouldn't as long as my EX friend was there and let her know why (This person is also on the PTO board).

I now have satisfaction in knowing that every time she walks in the room, everyone will be talking about her and whispering behind her back because in our neighborhood if you call CPS you'd better have a good reason and be sure about it.

I would not be able to be in the same room with her and not want to scream at her. As it is, I can barely contain myself when I see her drive by (she lives down the road from us). There is nothing to compare to the hurt you have when you are accused of being a bad parent and investigated for that and it hurts that much more when it comes from someone who you thought was your best friend and you trusted with the care of your kids.

When we asked her about it, her dh says (because she wouldn't return my call) its because she thought we needed counseling?!?!?

10 replies
playingwithsugar Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 12:39am
post #2 of 11

Welcome to my world. This is exactly why I don't have many female friends, and why I do not bother to get to know my neighbors.

And of course, a female is going to target you where she can hurt you most - with your children. And since her husband admits that she did this, consult an attorney.

Find new friends.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

cinderspritzer Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 1:06am
post #3 of 11

I have no friends who are girls because I learned in school that most girls are evil backstabbing witches. lol. My girlfriends are all CC members I've never met.


Other than that, karma will get her, and everything comes back threefold, so you shouldn't worry about her.



To the power of three by three, leave them be, and they will see.

itsmylife Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 1:12am
post #4 of 11

Wow.... that is amazing and scary at the same time. It's really frightening how easily you can be put under the microscope for no other reason than someone trying to get back at you.

I'm sure the CPS investigator was appreciative of having his/her time wasted (probably not the first time). Too bad your ex-friend can't be prosecuted for wasting the state's money on an unsubstantiated claim.

I would have a haaaaaaard time keeping my mouth shut after something like that.

kettlevalleygirl Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 1:34am
post #5 of 11

When I split up with my ex-husband in 1992, he was very vindictive, and did his best to bring me down. We were the biggest case in the province, for family maintenance, (he just fought having to pay support at every turn, quitting jobs etc).
When I finally met my husband in 1997, and we started dating, he phoned family services (canadian version I suppose) and accused my boyfriend (at that time) of hurting the kids, chasing them and banging down doors....it just so happended when the family service people phoned and said they were coming over, since this had just supposed to have happened, I was on my way to the airport to pick my boyfriend up from a week long business trip....
The ex was not so bright....but very scary, stalking type.
And at that time, it was not illegal to make a false claim... Go figure...
Kids are now 24,21, and 19 and they consider my husband their dad. and have nothing to do with their biological dad!
People can be very scary and I do agree that should any further accusations or rumours start, you should get an attorney.

indydebi Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 1:58am
post #6 of 11

Barbara, just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to go thru that, but I love the way you handled it! icon_twisted.gif

I had a co-worker ("A") who went thru the same thing. Another co-worker ("B") called CPS because "A" took her son to the emergency room for a broken arm .... he fell off of his bike. "A" had to endure the whole investigation while trying to worry about and care for her son's broken arm. There was NOTHING to indicate this was anything BUT a fall from a bike! They were cleared immediately.

I never heard of any repercussions, but if I was going to call CPS on a phony accusation on someone, it sure wouldn't be to turn in someone who was married to a cop in a small town! icon_twisted.gif

DebbyTCL Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 12:29pm
post #7 of 11

barbaranoel

Consult an atty., local police, & the local DA's office! That is called "filing a false report" and is illegal!

If it is not illegal in your area, I would call the ex-friend back or her husband and get the conversation on tape. (In Tennessee, as long as 1 person knows that the conversation is being recorded, it is legal & can be used as evidence in court).

That was so not cool thumbsdown.gif !

ge978 Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 1:43pm
post #8 of 11

If this girl turned you in to CPS with false accusations because you no longer wanted her to watch your son then I think she might need some professional help. Normal people just don't call and accuse 3 yr olds of having knives and cutting themselves.
Getting her back is probably not a good idea because things could escalate and who knows what will happen next.

And I'm a bit put off about the comments about women....most women are not like this. This did not happen because of her gender...it happened because of the kind of person her ex friend is.

mbelgard Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 1:57pm
post #9 of 11

I don't think what you did was evil, it was fair warning to other parents. How would you feel if you found out that someone else you know had this woman report them and never bothered to tell you.

It sounds like she has a daycare or at least watches a kids for pay. If that's the case any other parents with children under her care might appreciate knowing what could happen. If she's a registered daycare provider you might be able to get her license suspended or worse for filing the false claim, that wouldn't be evil it would be protecting other parents.

If anyone needs counciling it's this woman.

Can you tell I'm not a fan of the whole "turn the other cheek?" icon_twisted.gif

playingwithsugar Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 7:17pm
post #10 of 11

ge978 --

I do not wish to turn this into a debate, but I do not regret my words negating female friends, which are based upon personal experience. I have had two visits from such an office by vengeful women, one of them also being a babysitter whose services I no longer needed. Therefore, what I said, to me, is fact.

What may be fact where you live is based upon your experience, and I am very happy for you, that you are in an area where this kind of activity takes place.

Heck, I'm going through this right now, with a cake decorator in my area who pretends to be my friend. I recently learned from someone outside of cake decorating, who knows us both, that this person has been bashing both me and my cake decorating work.

Me, I will keep my friends online, in places like CC. I've made much better friends online than I ever could where I live.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

barbaranoel Posted 30 Oct 2007 , 10:42pm
post #11 of 11

We have consulted an atty. but they said it would be hard to prove and hard to determine the $ amt for repercussions.

This is on our record forever and the atty said it can't be taken off.

Now we are constantly looking over our shoulders, so afraid that anything we do is wrong and we'll be accused.

She does watch kids out of her house, and I've talked to a couple of the parents she used to watch for, as far as I know she only has two families left - her rules are too strict and her guidelines. For the last year I've heard her blame other parents everytime she lost a family - now I'm rethinking every thing she's ever said about them now.

She is registered with Action for Children and I've already called them and filed a claim. Of course they said she's "trained" to spot these kind of situations icon_confused.gif so there was nothing they could do, but once I told them that she had done this AFTER I gave her a two week notice they thought that was kinda strange so they let me file a complaint and its in her file and if something else like this comes up, they'll kick her off the list.

Barb

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