Is there any safe way to use inedible flowers for decoration. I had my heart on putting one sweetpea on my wedding cupcakes, but my MOH says they are neurotoxic. I didn't think people would eat them, but is there danger of leaching or anything?
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Can they be done out of icing instead?

On a cupcake, it will be difficult to be sure no one eats the flower. When it is on a food item, people can presume it is safe to eat.

If they flower is not safe, don't use it.

there are very nice versions of sweetpeas done in icing. Or, you can order them made from candy clay, or gumpaste/fondant.

I'd suggest ordering silks or gumpastes