This weekend has been so devastating to me and a lot of other people in my community. A terrible car accident friday night took the life of a friend of mine and her mother. They were cut off on a busy street and the vehicle they were in was pushed into oncoming traffic and hit a semi. I have not see her in about 2 years, and we don't even live very far apart. we spoke often of getting together 'soon', but both of us being very busy all the time, it hasn't happened. i regret so much that i haven't spent any time with her recently and have never even met her baby boy.

We never know when things like this will happen, and it is a smack-in-the-face reminder that tomorrow is never guaranteed, and we have to make the most of what we have now.

I have a big cookie order i should be working on right now, but i cant even bring myself to get in the car to go pick up eggs.

I am posting this because somehow it helps.... getting the words out of my head.

I hope anyone who reads this will be reminded how precious life is, and how important it is to keep your friends and family close.... You may think "hey i haven't seen her in a while, but we'll get together eventually...." but you just never know. There are so many people in my head right now that i have just let slip away over the years... Please don't make the same mistake. I will be making many phone calls today.... I hope some of you will do the same.

Thanks to all who are reading this. This is such a wonderful and supportive community, and i appreciate the chance to have a safe place speak of my regrets and fears.

Please take a moment to pray for strength for her family to get through this difficult time.

Nikki, so sorry for your loss.
We should all heed your advice to take the time, make the effort don't let time slip by...

Thanks kjt. I was doing pretty well (and the cookies were coming along okay) for a while until i saw a story about it on the news. my hands are so shakey and i am having a hard time decorating them.... i decided not to put thme off because it's keeping me busy, and i need that right now. but i really dont think i'll be able to finish them tonight.

Nikki, sorry to hear about the loss of your friends. Life is short. Just yesterday a friend of my emailed me, you know just forwarding stuff she had received. She wrote a little note saying "we are always saying we are gonna get together, just ain't gonna happen, we need to work on it"

I will be getting in touch with her and we will set up to met, instead of just emailing.

Maybe i'll even call some folks i've been holding grudges towards.

I'll say a prayer for you and the community.

I feel your pain. Take a good look at those around you right now, because they might not be here next year. Life can turn on a dime.

I'm sorry about your friend...what a blow You never do know what tomorrow will bring. I am so glad that I made the decision to move out here because I have been able to spend more time with my grandmother than I ever did before. She's now 89 years old and one never knows... I kept on putting off coming out to visit since it costs money to fly so it was hard to visit and phone calls weren't happening as much. I do need to pick up the phone to talk to friends back home more often though. There are just certain people that you have to talk to on a regular basis.

*hugs* I'm glad you've been able to keep busy with your cookie order and also that you felt comfortable to confide in us here at CC. That is just so sad and I feel for her son

This rings true to me, and I totally understand.


In 2002, my best friend Brian and I worked together at an amusement park over the summer. The season ended the first week of September, and after that I only spoke to him intermittently. He and another friend came over to my house when I was still living with my parents one October afternoon. We didn't do much of anything except goof around for a couple hours and then they left.

I didn't talk to him for a long time. Then I moved out to live with my signifigant other, and didn't talk to Brian anymore. Around Christmas, I got this *intense* feeling that I needed to call him. I'd get this feeling every evening about 4 pm, and tell myself, ''I'll call him tonight''. I forgot to call every single night.


Then in the first week of January, I was over visiting my parents, just by chance. The phone rang. I was surprised when my parents said it was for me.

It was Brian's girlfriend. He'd killed himself. The number she called was the number listed in his cell phone.

I was absolutely devastated. I gave her my new number. I went home. The day before his funeral, I got violently sick. I was throwing up every hour on the hour. I threw up, went to his memorial and didn't throw up for 2 hours (which AMAZED me) and went home and threw up.

At 3 am the next morning, I was rushed to the ER with severe blood poisoning. I was delirious and so sick I almost died. And in the ambulance on the way there, I *swear* to you, Brian was there telling that everything was ok, I was going to be fine. I was sick for a year, getting blood tests every week. It sucked, but 1 year later to date, I was diagnosed as healthy again.

I've never forgiven myself for not calling him. I know that if I'd called him when I had the gut wrenching feeling that I needed to, things probably would have been different.

But he was there, and even though I haven't forgiven myself, I know he has forgiven me. There are times I'll hear his voice or smell his cologne or something and think I'm losing my mind, but it's always right before something potentially bad happens that turns out to be not bad at all.



So yes, never miss an opportunity to let those you care about know how much they mean to you. The end is never more than a heartbeat away.



I'm very sorry for your loss, Nikki.

Wow cinderspritzer, that is so sad. I am so sorry.

I am at work today, but barely getting anything done. My cookies are done, and way sloppy but i just couldnt concentrate. all my icing was wrong consistency... but i managed.

i am so grateful to have a place to talk about this. It's hard for me to breakdown in front of people i know personally. i've never been that type of person. This summer i lost another good friend. He was my first BF in high school, but i havent seen him in about 4 yrs. when a mutual friend had a picture of him from some party on her blog, i was like 'wow, it's been way to long!' she called me 2 days later and told me he shot himself. It was the same friend that called me saturday to tell me about the car accident.

i told her i'm never answering the phone when she calls again. Before the other funeral this summer, i hadn't seen this girl since we graduated, and i haven't seen her since. and now we'll be getting together for another funeral.

i need a girls night out.