If you are in business, selling your cakes, YOU NEVER GIVE RECIPES!!!. I have had hundreds of people ask me for my wasc recipe and I won't even tell them what goes in it. I just tell them it's my signature white cake, sorry. If they love it that much they can keep on ordering cakes from you. If you still feel you need to give it to him, give him the old boil one!
Once I asked a baker for information on baking vegan cheesecakes and vegan bc. The answer I got was, "Sorry, it's a trade secret."
Well, we all know that if you do enough research, and put the words into the search box just right, there is almost no such thing as a "trade secret."
But it was a great excuse, and I admit to having used it recently. Someone who does not bake cakes, but has a daughter who does, was constantly asking me questions during conversation. The line came out of my mouth as easily "hello" when I answer the telephone.
Although I do share information in certain circles, such as this, I know that I will be using that line again.
Theresa 
I've never heard of this buttercream.. what makes it different? taste, texture? and will anybody share the 'easy' version with me!!
i just delivered my first 'non-family' wedding cake yesterday... the brides mother originally said she would pick it up, but i told her i would feel so much better if i delivered it and set it up... and i am so glad i did.... i even brought along the 'repair kit' that so many of you fine tuned for us... i truly have learned so much from this group.. i will never, EVER, have the talent that you ladies all have, but I'm having fun, and also helping Wilton stay in the black!
when my son got married, a dear friend helped me make the wedding cake, and of course we had tons of cake left-overs, so we made cake balls, i used white cake with white chocolate raspberry creamer, with dark chocolate covering... long story short, we thought calling them 'cake balls' didn't sound classy enough, so we called the 'dolce drops'... they were a hit.. i'm going to make chocolate with amaretto creamer tomorrow!! .... laurie in michigan
First, I agree, I can't give out the wrong recipe or lie about it. I'm going to give him a standard french buttercream recipe and if he can do it great, if not, too bad. I'm not helping him.
I think part of my fear is that this will be a repeat of the last time I gave him a recipe (I'm really not stingy). He couldn't figure it out and he called me during a busy time and wanted me to walk him through it step by step.
I gave him some instructions and went back to MY OWN work. He tells me the next day it came out awful and goes over every little thing he did so I could help him figure it out! I don't want to deal with this again! I am not his personal chef and I am not a consultant. I resent being treated as such, I resent by business being treated as something I should share/teach someone for free, because after all it's "just dessert". I don't expect him to sell my house without a comission (sp?), so why is my business something I should give away. A lot of it comes down to his attitude towards me and what I do.Kathi
Try this: "Bob (or whatever his name is), I appreciate that you enjoy my icing. But you must understand, first, this is my business and as such it is my policy not give out my recipes. If you like this recipe, I suggest you either go to the library or search the internet. It's called French Buttercream, but I will tell you that it is difficult to make and I am too busy with my business to be able to help you any further. Good luck."
And there you have it, no harm, no foul! 
You should've told him this, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." With a really serious look on your face and then laugh. And then say, "No ... really."
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! There's a local cake decorator around here who does that -- to other cake decorators no less!! 
No ... really! 
This is the email I sent:
"xxx,
Iâm sorry I wasnât home on Friday afternoon, but we spent Shabbos in xxx. The following link will take you to a frosting recipe that is very similar to the one you asked about. I do not give out my business recipes since I am trying to build a livelihood from this venture. You must be sure to follow the instructions carefully and allow at least an hour from start to finish.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_27459,00.html?rsrc=like
Good luck,
Kathi"
kaciealexa, this buttercream is very smooth and has a "luscious" mouth feel. It does not crust, though. Duff Goldman uses it under fondant, but it is delicious on its own. Here is a link to the recipe I use:
http://www.cakecentral.com/cake_recipe-4173-0-Duff-doctored-buttercream.html
Thanks,
Kathi
You could do like my Mother does. She makes the best Banana Pudding I have ever tasted and people ask her all the time for the recipe. She gives them the entire recipe except for her secret ingredient that makes it as good as it is.
If he is a pushy person....I would just say "Sorry, I don't give out my recipes." and leave it at that.
I would never think to ask someone for a recipe that they make a living from...isn't this some sort of insider recipe trading?
This is the email I sent:
"xxx,
Iâm sorry I wasnât home on Friday afternoon, but we spent Shabbos in xxx. The following link will take you to a frosting recipe that is very similar to the one you asked about. I do not give out my business recipes since I am trying to build a livelihood from this venture. You must be sure to follow the instructions carefully and allow at least an hour from start to finish.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_27459,00.html?rsrc=like
Good luck,
Kathi"
PERFECT . . . polite . . . to the point . . . helpful . . . and no room for misunderstanding . . . BRAVO . . . WELL DONE
Well, it worked!! This is the response I received this morning:
"Kathy,
Please excuse me. You're correct, I had no right to ask you for that. This is your business. I will be more cognizant of that in the future.
xxx"
Hooray!! That's a load off of my mind!
Kathi
i only have a couple of recipes that are truly mine----i created. however, the rest i have gotten from the web and cookbooks. if someone ask me for a recipe, i will share it. i have a business and i've learned that even with your recipes, they still call me since they don't have time. also, they want me to decorate.
i don't get asked for recipes a lot. i was at a birthday party that i took the cake to and most of the women asked me how to make the icing. i told them how to make swiss meringue buttercream. they all said....too much trouble. they all order from me!
one other point. if i got the recipe from say...food network...i just tell them that. i tell them where to go to find it. i don't feel it is my place to guard other peoples recipes.
can I just say that giving him a food network recipe seems really funny to me?
i only have a couple of recipes that are truly mine----i created. however, the rest i have gotten from the web and cookbooks. if someone ask me for a recipe, i will share it. i have a business and i've learned that even with your recipes, they still call me since they don't have time. also, they want me to decorate.....
i don't feel it is my place to guard other peoples recipes.
I think you have missed my point. It is not my job to provide him with a recipe. It takes enough time to research and perfect the recipes I find for my own use. If word gets out that I give my recipes away (and trust me, it would) I would have people calling me all the time!
I have tried many recipes before settling on what I have, plus every recipe I do have, I have had to adjust to make parve. This doesn't happen overnight and I have worked hard to perfect the recipes I use so they are just as moist and flavorful as those made with dairy. Some recipes I have worked on for six months before I was satisfied. Why should I give that labor away for free? 
Also, you are in a completely different market than I am. I am trying to break in to a market in which people have spent years doing one of two things, either they drive to Baltimore (5 hours away) for a kosher decorated cake or they deal with a plain homemade cake. They have become used to "making do" with what they have, and I am trying to show them there is now an alternative....ME! Additionally, people trying to keep kosher in an area like ours are more likely to try something challenging (like a meringue buttercream) at least once, because it's just not easy to find.
As for the Food Network recipe, that is NOT the recipe I use, but it is a basic meringue recipe that I thought he could follow. I do not "guard" other people's recipes unless they specifically ask me to!
He sells houses, I wouldn't ask him to sell my house without a commission and I wouldn't ask him to research how much houses in my neighborhood were selling for if I planned to sell my house on my own. Why is this any different?
Kathi
He sells houses, I wouldn't ask him to sell my house without a commission and I wouldn't ask him to research how much houses in my neighborhood were selling for if I planned to sell my house on my own. Why is this any different?
Kathi
THat is a very good comparison!
Just a note in response to the emails I am getting. Coming to CakeCentral and asking questions is part of my research and yours. We are a community of bakers, so we share information, tips, and yes, even recipes.
My problem wasn't sharing with other bakers, but sharing with this person in my community in a way which at least diminishes the respect people have that this is my livelihood, and at worst could actually impact that livelihood. I have always been happy to share recipes here, and have even helped those who were working on either parve or kosher cakes through pm's. I choose not to share that type of information in the open forum because it is an "open" forum and again I don't want to negatively affect my business (not to mention it would bore most people to death).
So, please do not be afraid to ask me any questions, or think I am a greedy recipe miser! Honest, there are many here who can confirm that I really am a nice person! 
Kathi
Kathi
I think most of us understand what your original point was.
Everyone else is just as capable as we are to get on the computer and research things for themselves. We all found recipes through sharing, researching, etc why shouldn't someone else have to do the same?
I onced asked a waitress at a restaurant for their banana cream pie recipe...i couldn't quite figure out what made it so good..she looked at me and said..are you serious? I told her I had to try. I didn't actually expect them to give it to me...its no different when someone asks us for a recipe that we make money from.
i truly didn't mean to upset you. i was just trying to say what i do in these cases, not what i think you should do. i was not trying to make your point...just mine.
it makes no difference to me what you do in this situation. my opinion is just that....an opinion. it is not proper etiquette (sp?). it is not law. it is not right nor wrong. just an opinion.
i understand you being frustrated and protective of your work. if you don't want to give him the recipe. just say "i appreciate that you like my icing. however, it is a recipe that has taken a lot of time and money to perfect and it is something i don't wish to share." if he is upset, he'll get over it.
best of luck!
elizw, you didn't upset me. It was some (not all) of the emails, not the actual thread. They made me feel/sound like I was a greedy miser hoarding my recipes from the world!
Yes, we will disagree at times on here, that is part of an open forum. I just wanted to be clearly understood, not necessarily agreed with.
Thanks,
Kathi
I have the same problem with a woman that I work with but her reasons for wanting a recipe are more sinister. Last year I made a cake for her husband's birthday and I charged her $70. She ran around telling everyone that she was being "robbed" because there was no way a cake could be that expensive. Mind you, I bake from scratch and most everything is organic...definitely not cheap! I thought I was actually cutting her a break on the price. She paid me, but not without a lot of drama, and she wanted the recipes but I refused to give them to her. I'm legal in PA, so I am required to provide a list of ingredients to customers, which I did, but that's a far cry from giving out the actual recipe!
Fast forward to a month ago...she asked me to make an apple tart for some dinner party she's throwing next month. I told her it would be $25-$30. For the past month she's harrassed me daily for the recipe, which I won't give her. I told her that I would give her the ingredient list, but that's it. We got into it last week when she finally said that she would go elsewhere for the tart if I didn't give her the recipe. I told her to go right ahead...I don't need the hassle. I told her that I thought she only wanted the recipe so that she could price out the ingredients herself and then come back to me with what she thought I should be charging her! She was mad, but she knew that I was right. She then proceeded to tell me that since we were "friends" I should be cutting her a break and that she knows plenty of people that bake but she chose me because she knows that I need the money How insulting! Nothing like throwing me a bone! I truly don't need the money that badly...my baking business is doing well for a small on-the-side venture. I have a contract with a coffee shop to supply biscotti and I do very well at a local farmer's market in addition to the cakes.
This woman is really the only person I've had trouble with concerning recipes. None of my other customers have ever even asked, but if they did I would tell them the truth...I can give you the list of ingredients but not the recipe. It is a business after all
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