I had a wrote a post earlier about having problems making a fondant loop bow for this baby shower cake due tomorrow. I had been working on this cake since Wednesday. So everything was done except for the bow. Well, I've tried for 2 days in a row and it still didn't come out right. So, I told my friend(who happens to be the mother-to-be's cousin)that I was having problems with the bow, but that I would work it out and probably put a ribbon bow on the top. I then go in to work. She calls me at work and asks me if I thought that I would have the cake ready for tomorrow. I said yes, but that I wouldn't get to stay in the hotel(they were getting a room at the same place as the shower so that we could already be there, since it's a little ways for all of us)because I would be working on the cake. So I get off work and head to JoAnns to find some ribbon for a bow. She calls me as I'm walking in and tells me not to worry about the bow and that her cousin has bought a cake and for me to come out there to the hotel. So I ask, "What am I supposed to do with this cake?" She asks what did I plan on doing with it. I replied, "Get some ribbon and make a bow, or I could decorate it a different way." She tells me that they don't want me to stress or keep spending money on this bow. I wish they would've told me this 3 days ago when I started working on this cake, that I wasn't getting paid for!! I'm so upset! I put so much time and money in this cake and because the bow didn't work out all of my time and money is null and void!! I don't even want to see them or talk to them right now!!
Ok thanks for letting me vent!!

I understand your frustration and her side. She would rather have you enjoy yourself than stress about the bow.

Calm down, eat the cake and enjoy the party!

Yep I can see both sides too. She just wants you to be there in the hotel with them. It sounds like the cake is keeping you from being at the hotel and she just wants you to enjoy the hotel and the shower. She probably has no idea all the trouble and time and money that you have gone through. I would do up the cake anyways though. I wouldn't want to waste it all either. Or you could just keep it for yourself or give it to someone.

I guess that one way to look at it.

I'm sure they think they're trying to be considerate, but they just don't get it!! It's more than just "a cake"!! Yes, they cost money to make, but it is a lot of time and effort that you have put into making something special and unique!

It sounds like they think they are doing you a favor. You said they didn't want you to stress over the cake or spend more money and they wanted you to come to the hotel so they want your company not your cake. Most "non-cake people" don't understand how much time,effort, and money go into cakes so I wouldn't take it personally.

I can understand how extremely frustrated you must be. People don't have a glue how much time and money goes into to a cake. I have spent all week on one cake (in 2-3 hr increments before and after work). I have wanted so badly to come home and relax after work, but know I need to be working on a cake. I would be breathing fire right now. But you have to remember, these people DO NOT understand that not only did you put your time and money into this cake, but your heart and soul as well. I would simply just tell your friend (and I use that word loosely right now) that if they haven't already spent money on another cake, that it would be much better it they allowed you to bring the cake you have already spent SO MUCH time and money on. Then patiently explain to her that although you would love to join them at the hotel, you take great pride in your cake decorating and like to complete each and every job to your satisfaction. Also, Walmart sales dried fondant bows already made, all you would have to do is airbrush it with spray can (If you don't have a air brush). So let them also know, that you will not spend anymore time worrying over makeing a bow (even though it is more of a challenge than a worry) because they are going to spring for you to buy this one! Case closed all are happy. Pitty they aren't aware of how much more happy they would be with your cake than a store bought one!

I for one didn't realize how much work one puts into a cake. I discovered this site looking for wedding cake ideas for my daughters wedding after learning how much they cost!! Now I know why - it's not just cake - but that has to turn out delicious as well - but these cakes are a work of art, AND they take a lot of time.

Just because it's easier, boxed cake is pretty much the only thing I don't do from scratch. Today I made up some individual heart cakes to practice with and tried a new chocolate icing recipe. I'm exhausted just with that and they didn't turn out like I had hoped either.

After being at this site for a short time I have more appreciation for the work you all do.

Im sorry that they did that to you. As others have said Im sure they think they are just doing you a favor and have no idea how much time and energy go into it. I would definitely tell them that you put all this time into it and you intend on finishing it. I would be upset too, you have every right to be.

I don't know exactly what to say except I know people don't understand how much we love what we do and how much time and effort AND money go into it. It's not cheap!!! Just let this roll off your back. Take the cake and allow the lady to maybe take it home...or take it and serve it with the other cake. THEN they will see how much better your cake is then a store bought cake

Please don't let this ruin your friendships! Keep your head up high and go to the shower

Hugs to you and have a better day ok?

Christi

The whole situation really sucks. I'd finish the cake and take it along anyways. You put the time and effort into it...why not show and enjoy it? Good luck!

Hey Tzonia,
Sorry for your problems with the cake. Now may I offer a word of advice, not just to you but to lots of CC'ers. Don't tell non cake people your difficulties with their cake. If you had just put a fabric bow on the cake and taken it the noncakers wouldn't have known the difference, you would have saved yourself and lot of upset and the oohs and ahhs would have outweighed your disappointment over not having a fondant bow. Then you could work on that technique and the next time wowed them!
I have read so many threads where someone has gotten upset because they told someone about a cake difficulty, and it became a friendship buster, just KYMS. Tell us, but not the noncakers, they are clueless.
Keep practicing and you will be able to do,
Now I'm off to take a 4 tiered wedding cake 21/2 hours away

Jibbies

I would call the cousin back and tell her that you put all that time and money into the cake, and NO WAY would you NOT take it.... If they change the plans now, they will have TWO cakes....... Take YOU and the CAKE , and have a wonderful time at the party !

were you expecting to get paid? that is the only part that is confusing to me here. I think your friend is being nice, not mean - she seems to value you more than the cake itself (which is a good thing!). But if you were wanting to get paid, that should have been clear up front.

If she's saying they don't want you to "stress or keep spending money on this bow", she probably is at least vaguely aware that this is taking up a lot of your time and energy--and she simply doesn't think it's worth all that bother. I also vote that she's trying to be nice and ensure that you will enjoy yourself at the event.

If they've already bought a cake, I'd be hesitant to bring one to the shower anyways (then the cousin has wasted her money.) It sounds like they maybe bought the other cake with the intention of taking the stress off your hands? Will there be post-shower family time? You could bring the cake for that.

And amen! to the not telling people how much work went into making their cake (unless, of course, they ask ). Nobody really cares, and it makes you sound resentful. Who wants a cake from someone who's going to whine about it later?