*LOL*...so if I need a recipe, I come to CC. I need to vent about my mother, I come to CC. And I need advice on how to quit my job...again, I come to CC.

Here's the situation...many of you know I'm pregnant and battling a chronic disease. I'm applying for disability, but in the meantime I thought I could do something part-time that I enjoy and need practice at anyway - taking care of kids. So one of my friends referred me to this family looking for a nanny 6 hours a day for their 4 yr old and 6 yr old girls. Ok, please know I'm not trying to start a controversy by what I'm saying, it's just my side of things.

The family has a lot of money...I mean a LOT. The mom works in computers and the dad works from home, using his home office as an actual office, so kudos to him for making his home office a real working environment. But the thing is, he only actually does about 2 hours worth of work a day, and the rest of the time he naps, plays tennis, or goes out. Again, his perrogative...but I would think he'd want to spend time with his children. Then the mom comes home, and usually immediately goes across the street to have some drinks with her girlfriends. Then Saturday rolls around, and every Saturday since they've known me I've gotten a phone call asking my husband and I to babysit. I'm thinking, ok when do you ever spend time with your kids??

Now for the girls...they are really trying me and I feel like it's wearing down my health. They run all over me and I talk to their parents, and they give me the "no, not MY children" response, and tell me their just testing me. I mean, these girls do not mind me AT ALL. Well, apparently they have told the other neighborhood children that it's ok to come over to their house while I'm working. Which is fine if the girls go over to other houses to play too, but they don't. So I'm paid for 2 girls, and only $11 hr. at that. It turns into 4 or 5 kids in no time, on a daily basis.

I've only been doing this for 2 weeks and my blood pressure has gone up to 150/110. I feel bad for quitting this early but I would rather them be able to find a nanny that will work out then me be "tested" to the point of just quitting on the spot. How can I leave this job on good terms?? Any ideas? I'm not one to make waves but it simply isn't working out.

Thanks!
Amy

PS - The mom told me NO cake activities with the girls...it would raise their BMI! I guess the fast food happy meals she brings home every night don't add any calories either...

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think the best thing you can do is quit but give them notice (2-3 weeks) to find a new sitter. When you tender your resignation, focus on the reasons your're leaving: your health and bring up the fact that you feel like you can't help take care of the girls to your satisfaction (maybe this isn't true, but it sounds good). Don't feel bad, I think that it's great that you recognize that you'd like to have boundaries for the children. Also, to keep things on a good term, maybe offer to help them interview possible replacements (w/in the timeframe that you're still there). Make sure not to commit to any time longer than you have to. Good luck!

My children are now teenagers, but when my oldest was six months old, I quit my job to be a full time mother. In the past I have also tried being a nanny in my own home as well as the other families home. Keeping other people's children is NOT an easy job and does not pay enough. If it is affecting your health I would definately say quit immediatley, especially since you're pregnant. It is very crucial that you take care of yourself as well as your baby. I would just tactfully tell them that your health is in jeopardy at this time and maybe even discuss it with your OB/GYN. Most doctors will back your decision and maybe even recommend that you quit that way you can definitely use the medical issues as your main reason. Good luck and let us know how it works out.

I've learned the best thing in this type of situation is to leave. Give 2 weeks notice stating health concerns, and don't let htem talk to you coming back. Be prepared for possible backlash though.
My best friend quit a decent babysitting job due to the fact that the parents were not taking good care of the children, to the point of neglect...she quit her job and also reported them to child services. (She kept wanting to stay because she felt that the only way they would get taken care of is if she stayed. We eventually convinced her that she needed to distance her self away from the situation.)

You need to quit NOW. When I was pregnant with my first, my blood pressure went up to 140/100 and I was put on bed rest immediately. If you feel you need back-up, make an OBGYN apoinement for today and have them take your blood pressure. They'll tell you to either be on bed rest or be homebound. When you're pregnant high blood pressure can cause serious problems for both you and the baby. When I was pregnant my doctor's office would let us just walk in and ask a nurse to check our BP without an appoinement. So at least call them now. Your health is more important that what your employers think of you, and this is a very legitimite reason for quitting. If you worked in an office and your doctor said you had to be on bed rest, you would stop working immediately. I don't see this situation as any different, especially knowing that it is not going to be placing a burden on this family.

-Lisa

If these children don't listen to what you say you need to quit, I would not and won't be responsible for a child that does not listen to me. Good luck!

Well, you are the one in charge there while the parents are out.

You work your hours and NO you are NOT available on Saturdays.

When you see that you are getting a houseful...SEND THEM ALL HOME. Call the parents and tell them that you only get paid to watch the 2 in your care, if they want to send THEIR kids to visit, they can do it when the PARENTS are home.

You are only the sitter and not responsible for THEIR kids.

Don't let them walk all over you ...and you are only earning $5.50 an hour for each kid...is that minimum wage in your state? I think it's kinda low anyway.

Ok so I tried to give a polite two week notice today. The father, Kevin, basically refused it and said he would be willing to work with me to keep me. Apparently, these people must have had bad luck keeping nannies. I WONDER WHY?????

So he adjusted my schedule where I only work 4 hours a day max. I called him out on the fact that yes he works from home, but I've noticed he is out "playing" for all but 2 hours of the day. This means HE has to be more involved with his own children. Well, then the mother, Kim, got home and flat out questioned the validity of my blood pressure being so high. She claims it isn't possible this early in my pregnancy. I'm like HELLO!!! I have a disability AND I'm pregnant, so I don't have the hunky-dory pregnancy some women are blessed to have. She worked right up until the day she delivered and thinks all women are like that.

I'm so depressed...I mean, I hate to say no, but I won't be accused of basically making up my health concerns. I'm thinking of trying this new modified schedule and seeing if that helps.

Oh and get this everyone...you know before I told you that she forbids any cake activities with the kids. Well, apparently she has a cookie exchange at work on Friday and asked me to "whip up" one of my cookie bouquets. I could make it an "afternoon activity" with the girls. Those things cannot be "whipped up" and it's certainly no activity for children if they need to look professional. GRRRRRR!!!!!!

Ok thanks for listening to me, as always. I appreciate all the comments, and I'll keep you posted.

I would tell her no on the cookie bouquets..it's her job..let her bake for them herself.

Or...let her out right buy them from you and you go home and bake them.

If the girls won't listen to you...they may not turn out nice and then she's going to say you made them...

LEARN TO SAY NO...you are putting not only yourself but your unborn at risk...

Can you live with that? sorry to sound harsh, but if you have a high risk pregnancy and something happens you will not be able to live with yourself.

AND EVERY woman's pregnancy is different. If she's so smart..she should know that.!

One simple question...are you willing to sacrifice your baby for these people? If your baby is precious to you, then get a backbone and quit worrying what these people think! There is no such thing as refusing to accept your resignation, you tell them that you quit effective at the end of this week (friday). It's their problem to find another sitter, or God Forbid the Dad will actually have to watch them!

I'm sorry to sound so harsh (I'm not usually! Usually I"M the one getting walked all over LOL) However, you are ENABELING them to put your baby in danger! STOP IT!

You're all right...I'm going to do it. Tomorrow, I'm going to tell them that this just isn't working out and the baby is at risk. Period. I guess they made me feel guilty so I felt pressured to stay. I'm so used to saying "yes" to everyone and now it's really time to stand up for myself and my baby. I'm STILL boiling over the whipping up a cookie bouquet thing. I plan to tell her to give me money and I'll gladly make one, otherwise she better stop by the store on her way to work and pick up a dozen cookies.

I feel so helpless cause I can't work and my husband puts in a ton of overtime for us to make ends meet. I finally found something I thought I could do and it's a disaster

OK, seriously tomorrow I am telling them this is it. ***breathe*** I can do this!!

Clever....sweetie.....get those TOXIC people out of your life!!!! You have enough to deal with....I don't have to tell you that you and baby are numero uno! Let the Addams family find someone else.

get out while the gettin is good. especially since she questioned you. not a good situations to be in. good luck. think of your baby, not them. and take care of yourselff.

this woman sounds like a real b*tch. If one of my employees tells me that they have a health problem and esp a difficult pregnancy I would def make life easier for them, not accusing them of lying
And u can tell her, high bp can happen anytime in a pregnancy, and can def have a very serious effect on the mom and baby!!!!!

If u feel like work, see if u cant be a nanny for someone else, but lay the rules down before u even start, that way u and the employers knows exactly what is expected.

Good luck, and may the rest of ur pg be stress free!!!

Get a note from the doctor!

You and your baby are first. These people are obviously very selfish and don't care about you or your health at all. Reminds me of the book "The Nanny Diaries".

On a side note, I really feel sorry for those 2 girls, they are neglected and crying out for attention from their parents.