Cheapa$$ Mother!!!

Decorating By mgdqueen Updated 19 Oct 2007 , 11:17pm by cholmberg

mgdqueen Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 2:59pm
post #1 of 43

My daughter has several friends who are turning 16. We are in an area that SOME of the kids have very elaborate parties and some do not...I would fall into the "do not" category, but will have a larger party than normal probably at home as many of her friends have.

That being said...the mother of one of her best friends called me a couple of weeks ago and ordered a cake. I told her because it was for "Misty" I would give her a great discount. She said NO-absolutely not. She knew this is "what I do now" and wanted to be sure Misty knew SHE had bought and paid for it. I asked her what she would like. She said she just wanted me to use my imagination and make it extra special and to just bring the invoice.

I know this girl VERY well and had taken special time to make it perfect for HER. Not everybody would have liked it, but I knew she would love it. She's totally into fairies and the colors black, green, and purple. She doesn't like anything too "girly". I made a fairy out of fondant (thanks for the tutorial btw Liis!!!) and it completely matched her personality. I walked to the door with it and Misty got teary eyed and just started yelling, "OMG I LOVE IT I LOVE IT THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!"

Her mother looked at it and told me how great it was, how she couldn't believe I made it SO terrific for Misty. She followed me out the door with her purse. I started to hand her the invoice and she actually said, "Oh, about that...well, I went to the video store and got so many movies and I bought so much food and stuff (hot dogs and chips!) for all of these kids. I saved out $15 for you...I mean, that's how much I'd pay at Costco."

I didn't even know what to say. If it were anybody else I would have thought twice about marching in and taking the cake back. I LOVE this's her mother I'm not crazy about. The thing is that I would have felt better putting so much time and love into this cake and just giving it to Misty as a gift. Instead, I now feel like I was slapped in the face. I wasnt about to cause a scene with all of the kids there or say anything that would make the mother go back in and say something to all of the kids. I again tried to hand her the invoice and she said, its okay, I dont need a receipt.

I took her measly $15 that did not even cover my supplies and walked away. Im so glad she really saved a lot of money back for something extra special. Thanks for letting me ventthats all Im really doing! I know I can't or won't change things NOW, I am just so disgusted that a mother would let those words come out of her mouth. She doesn't have a clue. thumbsdown.gif

42 replies
grama_j Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:04pm
post #2 of 43

That is just HORRIBLE ! BUT... you did the right thing..... Be sure to tell Misty that is was your GIFT to her....... I cannot believe some people !

lu9129 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:09pm
post #3 of 43

I'm going to let Indydebi have this one!!!!!!! lol

Again, age and mouth gets me in so much trouble.

I do respect you for not wanting to hurt Misty's feelings and cause a scene. I agree with you there.


darandon Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:12pm
post #4 of 43

I'd find a way later to give the woman the invoice, just so she knows what a "DEAL" she got.

Mac Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:15pm
post #5 of 43

That was very sweet of you...for Misty. However, I'm afraid I would have said to "mom" that you would consider the $15.00 as a down payment and she could get the rest of the money for the cake to you within a week.

Always talk about budget first, then if you want to give them more than what was discussed, that is YOUR perogative...Not theirs! Do not sell yourself short. This mom will tell the other moms how she got this extraordinary cake for $15.00 and they will try to pull it off again when they want a cake for their daughters.

Again, people do not realize the time and effort that go into cakes! I started asking, "Do you have a budget for the cake? What price range are you looking for?" That way I can keep the design limited to the price or give them a little something extra because I wanted. Or I give them 2 options...a lower price cake or something more extravagant.

ChristaPaloma Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:15pm
post #6 of 43

OMG! Some people's kids!

You did it right I think. I would take the invoice, remark it in my handwriting to subtract the $15.00, showing the balance highlighted.

Then stamp it paid in full....
Give it to the mother.
Give the daughter a beautiful birthday card (it's great if you can make a personalized one with her cake on it as a memory card) wishing her a happy birthday and telling her how pleased you were to have been such a part of her special day. In future, don't deal with her mother directly.

RachelsDelights Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:18pm
post #7 of 43

icon_surprised.gificon_surprised.gif That is the worse thing ever...I know from past experience also. I once set a price for a customer to then recieve the $ in a thank you card which was $10 less then what we had agreed upon when she had ordered it. I have learned so much since then...Hopefully you will also....That's what happens to kind people like us we get taken advantage of. Best wishes. thumbs_up.gif

JoJo40 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:18pm
post #8 of 43

Well,you said you'd "give her a great discount." You say you would have felt better just "giving it to Misty as a gift." I'd return the $15 to the mother saying "I hope Misty enjoyed her gift." Next time she wants a professionally done cake, be professional--quote a definite price and get a signed contract. Consider it an "educational opportunity" and move on.

spring55 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:24pm
post #9 of 43

Geeze! Some people. This is how I would handle it from where you are now. I would return the $15 with a note and an invoice. Invoice would have the actually cost of the cake and would be marked Paid in Full. The note would read that the cake was a gift.

What I would do in the future: never take an opened ended order. All prices and description of cake stated and agreed upon before order is started. This is how business is conducted, plain and simple. Never assume... what is a lot of money to you, may or may not be a lot of money to some one else.

If this is a business to you, work it like a real business. People will be less inclined to try and take advatage of you.


jsmith Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:31pm
post #10 of 43

It still surprises me how "friends" are the first to take advantage of us. That was kind of you to make her cake as a gift and I agree the $15 was a slap in the face. What if the cheap mother had paid you first and taken $5.00 to the store and told them she wanted to buy all that food and she had set aside a whole $5 bucks for them? They'd look at her like she was a moron(which she is) and send her on her way with $5 worth of food. Some people! I'm sorry she insulted you as it was a cute cake.

adonisthegreek1 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:32pm
post #11 of 43
Originally Posted by mgdqueen

...She said she just wanted me to use my imagination and make it extra special and to just bring the invoice....

This was extremely rude of the mom, but the mistake was to agree to just bring the invoice. Always discuss and agree on the price upfront. If you don't, you will never get paid what you are worth. Personally, I would not have accepted the $15 and just let the mom and birthday girl know that this was my "special gift" for her.

justme50 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:34pm
post #12 of 43

Unfortunately, you're asking to be taken advantage of when you don't have a contract with a price set in stone before you bake the cake.

indydebi Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:41pm
post #13 of 43
Originally Posted by spring55

... what is a lot of money to you, may or may not be a lot of money to some one else.

Truer words were never posted!!!

My in-laws, god luv 'em, were telling us that they went to dinner one night and it cost (gasp!) FIFTEEN DOLLARS for the two of them!! Holy cow, I leave tips bigger than that!

Heard a story about a girl getting married and her parents told her they had been saving money back for her wedding their whole life so she could have a nice one. At the 11th hour, she finds out that they had a whopping $3000. To THEM, that was a fortune. (The groom's father came thru with the money to cover the wedding for them.)

You've already rec'd good advice about ALWAYS give a price in advance. Most of the problems I read on here about price disputes usually start out with "I never gave them a price up front and then they seemed surprised when I told them the price!" well, duh!! dunce.gif

These people are "cake civilians". All they know is what they see at walmart/costco. They've NO IDEA what a custom designed cake is worth. It is OUR job to educate before the fact .... not when you walk in the door with cake in hand. I don't care how often they give you free range to do "whatever" .... you give them a price BEFORE you even buy the supplies.

mgdqueen Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:52pm
post #14 of 43

Girls, you are all absolutely right-I will take the blame for not telling her an actual price. The funny thing is that since she wouldn't accept the invoice, it's like she already KNEW she wouldn't be able to pay for it. It's funny, since I had mentioned I would give her a big discount and if she had accepted that offer, would she have only given me $5?? icon_biggrin.gif

I'm really glad Misty was thrilled and I love the idea of sending her the invoice marked paid with the actual cost. I might just do that. My neighbor just called me to tell me how great she thought the cake was...I asked her how she saw it. Her daughter went to the party too and the mother actually came out to the car and told my neighbor she HAD to come in to see the cake. She better NOT have told anyone that I made it for $15! I will not let it happen again!!

indydebi Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:56pm
post #15 of 43
Originally Posted by mgdqueen

She better NOT have told anyone that I made it for $15! I will not let it happen again!!

That could be the door you need to get the invoice to her. Let her know that you gave a BIG discount to her and no on else would ever get that cake at that price. " if anyone asks, please tell them the actually price was $xxx.xx, (as shown on the enclosed invoice)".

Mac Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:57pm
post #16 of 43

Oh, you know she told everybody the price...It's like..."Look what I got for $15.00." People ALWAYS have to brag about their bargains.

Prudence Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 4:19pm
post #17 of 43

I read this earlier and it totally bugs me. What happened to you is just not right. We pour your heart and soul into my cakes and bust our tails. She should have went to Costco's and picked up her "special" cake for $15.

If she brought her car into the shop to be fixed, would she tell them that she only had the change at the bottom of her purse?

I am a firm believer of getting the $ up front. I don't think that it is fair when you work so hard and then people take advantage of you.

I am sorry that that happened to you. She is an idiot. icon_rolleyes.gif

mgdqueen Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 9:17pm
post #18 of 43
Originally Posted by indydebi

That could be the door you need to get the invoice to her. Let her know that you gave a BIG discount to her and no on else would ever get that cake at that price. " if anyone asks, please tell them the actually price was $xxx.xx, (as shown on the enclosed invoice)".

That's a good idea Debi. (and thanks for adding enough x's to be in the hundreds!) thumbs_up.gif

cariage Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 2:06am
post #19 of 43

you should type up an itemized invoice. showing actual costs of supplies and then how many hours of labor were involved in this cake. Then, as christapaloma said, stamp it paid in full! Then put it in the mail. that way you know she recieves it and also she has a clear understanding that this cake costs MUCH more than her $15.00 Costco cake. Some people are unbelievable

mycakesandmore Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 2:04pm
post #20 of 43

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Reading your post almost made me cry! Such rude and disrespectful people.... really makes my blood boil! At least you can have great joy in the fact of knowing how much the daughter loved it and that it was truly a labor of love. I totally agree with the posts that you should mail the invoice marked "paid in full" and the word "gift from you" someone on it -- and while I would be inclined to return the $15 just because I was insulted -- you do deserve SOMETHING to help with the costs. What a rotten woman to treat you that way! I'm so sorry!

Candes Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 4:34pm
post #21 of 43

Please send her the inv marked paid in full, wipe your nose on the $15 and give it back to her.

She DEFINITELY didn't want the invoice. She KNEW it was more than her measly $15.

You already told Misty it was your gift to her. (Include that tidbit)

You'll feel a lot better knowing you gave Misty the most memorable gift ever and her mom can't brag she got it for a steal.

KittyPTerror Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 4:36pm
post #22 of 43

While it's true that different people look at money differently and some might consider $15 for a cake a lot, this woman knew that's not how much that cake cost. The first tip off is that she said, "I saved out $15 for you-that's how much it would have been at Costco." She was justifying why she was only paying $15 and trying to talk fast. Plus, I think there are VERY few people, even "cake civilians" who don't realize that a homemade cake is more expensive than a grocery store cake. I looked at your cake in the photos, and there is NO WAY that anyone, even a cheapskate, would have thought that that cake was $15 worth or work OR cake. It sounds like she overspent on everything else and was trying to recoup her expenses!

I agree that you should have clairified with her before, but I still think she had to know she was shorting you by quite a lot (even if she didn't know the full amount). I wouldn't do another cake for her again, and I think everyone else here is right, you should just send back the $15, with the "paid" invoice and tell the woman that it's now your gift. I wouldn't be rude, just state the facts and wish her daughter a happy birthday. If she has any sense at all, she'll be horrified.

mgdqueen Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 5:13pm
post #23 of 43

Thanks for all the support-I appreciate it. I'm not usually the "poor me" type. I was more angry that she would tell me she "saved $15 for me" than anything. That's real class, isn't it?!!

jlh Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 5:25pm
post #24 of 43

Again and again, folks just think $2.50 for a box mix, and extra buck or two for some eggs and butter!!! Sorry about your experience, but you can walk away feeling great. That girl will remember that awesome cake for the rest of her life! icon_lol.gif

ChefAngie Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 5:25pm
post #25 of 43


woodthi32 Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 5:27pm
post #26 of 43

to make sure that woman knows how much cakes cost and how much labor they are. there are ways to bring it up in conversation about other cakes, how much work you have to do, etc. You did the right thing, but there are ways, and I would make sure she was bombarded with subtleties..............
People are idiots.

sarahnichole975 Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 5:35pm
post #27 of 43

Well I just looked at your cake and even BEFORE I started making cakes, I'd have been embarrassed as heck to give someone $15 for something that beautiful!!! Now I will say that there is a good possibility that she may NOT tell anyone how much she paid for it, as she may want everyone to THINK she paid what was deserved for this masterpiece. I find (especially for these types of parties) it turns into a "mine was better than yours" type of thing, and appearing to spend more money that Sue over there did for her daughter's gives the feeling of better. I've done a couple and have a couple of orders for a group of friends all having these parties (which seem to be getting WAY outta hand, not that I'm really complaining, I'll take the $$$, but some of these are almost as elaborate as a wedding) and the next girl in line (mother too) seems to always be trying to out do the next. As far as the invoice and the $15, I would have to make a point to give them both to the mother. And say you just really wanted it to be a gift to her, AND you wanted them to have an idea about what something like this would cost if they needed on again in the future, you know, just so there would be no more surprises for ANYONE!

annapanna Posted 8 Oct 2007 , 6:15pm
post #28 of 43

I think you should just tell her the truth. Maybe she doesn't know how much a cake like that costs, and then it's good if you let her know. Maybe she does know, then she will probably realize that what she tried to do was wrong. Although you had not decided on a price, you had decided that she would pay for the cake and I think it is only fair that you give her a chance to do so. You are just beeing honest and will feel great about yourself (especially since you actually offered her a discount) and she probably won't... And you will still give her a chance of saving her face.

4Gifts4Lisa Posted 9 Oct 2007 , 5:21am
post #29 of 43
Originally Posted by indydebi

Originally Posted by mgdqueen

She better NOT have told anyone that I made it for $15! I will not let it happen again!!

That could be the door you need to get the invoice to her. Let her know that you gave a BIG discount to her and no on else would ever get that cake at that price. " if anyone asks, please tell them the actually price was $xxx.xx, (as shown on the enclosed invoice)".


gscout73 Posted 9 Oct 2007 , 5:44am
post #30 of 43

It is just incredible the things we are told. Out of one side of her face she says indicates she will pay full price since, "it is what you do now" and out of the other side of her face she says she has only $15 for you because that is what she pays @ Costco. icon_mad.gif

I hope that is not an example of the kind of responsibility and integrity she is teaching her daughter!!! icon_surprised.gifthumbsdown.gif

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