Wedding Cake Catastrophe

Decorating By Sunny77 Updated 26 Oct 2007 , 1:11pm by mbh724

JaneK Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:51pm
post #31 of 84

OMG, how horrendous!!! That woman needs to see legal action...she has to take responsibility for her actions..that's a fact...

I have been dreaming about this very thing...doing my DS's cake in a week...I feel so bad for the cake baker, the parents and the bride and groom....wow...horrid...

Sunny77 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 10:07pm
post #32 of 84

I just want to clear up that when my daughter found out and saw the cake she also showed the groom. He was very upset too but asked that we set it aside for the evening and deal with it after the fact but he is very busy in the police academy and these were prominent people in the community and as I said before good friends of his parents that I doubt he would want to cause any waves. I know whatever I do will get back to his parents and I don't want to create any conflict at all with my daughter and her new family. On the other hand, I am appalled that the MIL would encourage the insanity and find it funny. Drinking at a wedding isn't my idea of a celebration but it's pretty clear was theres. Still I'm seeking all the feedback I can get in order to sort and figure all this out. I am definitely going to ask Susan to create the top again. I have contacted her and asked her if I could show all of you the incredible work she did and I'm hoping for a response soon. She has no idea what happened to her masterpiece.

Janette Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 11:16pm
post #33 of 84

Sunny, icon_surprised.gif

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would have been in such shock I just don't know what I would have done. It must have felt like you were in a nightmare.

If you do have the top recreated you may want to have it done for their first anniversary so that it is fresh. That is what my daughter did she shared with us and it was so good and looked just like the wedding cake.

This just makes you shake your head and wonder what is wrong with people.

I say take them to Judge Judy thumbs_up.gif

Janette Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 11:24pm
post #34 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by darandon

I agree that "being drunk" is no excuse and it is not "cute" behavior. I'd send her the bill.




Now I'm wondering why no one tried to stop her.

This makes me think about the tradition of Bride and Groom smashing cake into each others faces. No class. I just hope the Groom doesn't take after his family.

Candes Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 2:58am
post #35 of 84

Prominent member, eh?

It would be a shame if someone anonymously sent a photo to the editor of the local paper. tsk tsk

Her behavior is appalling and she'll get her just rewards.

pssst send me the photos and I will forward them on.

KathysCC Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 3:16am
post #36 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccr03

I'm gonna have to disagree with the majority and agree with kriskreations.

I would just ask Susan to make another topper and pay for it myself. I know TOO many marriages that have broken up or lead to worse because in-laws fight with each over the dumbest things. Yes, the chic was completely wrong and the MOG was wrong to not do anything, but if the MOG didn't so anything at the time, why would you expect her to do anything now?

Andchances are that neither the MOG or the drunk chic are gonna want to pay, so you'll either end up paying or with MASSIVE headaches.

Basically, I think there are certain people/things worth fighting with/for and others not. Plus, if you got the cake I am sure it would be much more special/meaningful to your daughter because YOU got it for it.




I have to heartily agree with ccr03. Causing waves in a new family is not the way to go. You aren't accomplishing anything by dragging the whole situation out in the open again. It will just cause hurt.

The groom sounds like a good man to quietly ignore the spectacle and move on. That is probably what everyone should do in this situation. It is a terrible thing but the best thing to do is move on and forget it. Just my humble opinion.

dl5crew Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 3:21am
post #37 of 84

This is horrible. You have done all you should do. You have contacted Susan for a re-creation.
I think.... that since this was your daughters wedding and this is a friend of her in-laws, that she and her new husband should decide what to do. Yes, I'm sure you paid for it. It was her wedding cake. She might want to handle it quietly so her husbands career isn't killed before it gets started.
I don't understand why people think they must drink to have a good time. From my experience or lack of, the stuff smells, I can't imagine how it might taste.

ameena Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 3:22am
post #38 of 84

Sunny,

It's horrible what happened. My two cents are:

Ask Susan for another topper

Don't get lawyers involved because they will just chew up more money than paying for the topper yourself.

Leave the drunk and MIL out of it because it will only cause stress for your daughter and her marriage. THe drunk and MIL obviously don't care and you and your daughter will only feel more stress, hurt and grief when they snub you again over the topper and the bill.

Be there for your daughter when this crazy MIL does something else to hurt her.

Update:
My husband thinks you should put in on youtube. And he agrees that was a sick think to do.

vdrsolo Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 1:25pm
post #39 of 84

I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your daughter.

My opinion is that the husband should be man enough to talk to his parents and their friend about this nonexcusable behavior. I hope he does, he needs to stand by his new bride!

prettysweet Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 2:05pm
post #40 of 84

I'm so sorry for both you and your daughter. What a terrible thing to happen!!!
Certainly the lady should be responsible for the cost of the cake but that is rather delicate. Your daughter is just starting a new life with new in-laws which can be stressful without adding to it. A lot would depend on the in laws' attitude. If they are equally upset, let them(they invited the witch) handle the financial end.
I would contact the person who made the cake, let her know what happened, and put in an order for a top tier for your daughter's first anniversary and pay for it myself. That way the newlyweds will have a perfectly fresh cake in great shape next year(no matter what you do a cake that's been frozen for a year is less than tasty and has been bumped around). It can be your anniversary gift to them.

Zahrah Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 2:07pm
post #41 of 84

My 2 cents...

I would not pursue legal action for reasons already posted. I also believe that the expectation of reimbursement is unrealistic. If it happens, all the better if it's unexpected!

I would, however, try to obtain photos of the damage and send them with a letter to both MOG (she encourged it) and the drunken party-girl. I would express in the letter the level of inappropriateness to her behavour and detail the expense of the cake plus the replacement top layer, the resulting damage that prevented anyone from consuming the cake, as well as the distress caused by to your daughter. You may want to ask for assistance in the cost of the cake/replacement and they may offer some token for it. However, if these people are 'prominent' as you say, I'm willing to wager that the embarassment of seeing ones self drunk and having that behavour spotlighted would drive the point home more than a letter from an attorney. These people are often all about their image.

Wedding cakes are not cheap in cost, labor, or love. I mean if she made the actual food catered to the reception inedible wouldn't reparations be expected

KittyPTerror Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 5:53pm
post #42 of 84

I agree with Zahra- I wouldn't expect any compensation from her, and I wouldn't want to get tangled up in court with her, but I would definitely want her to know what happened- she probably remembers it very differently than it actually happened since she was so drunk. It's a pretty tricky situation, but you keep mentioning how socially prominent and wealthy she is, and I definitely wouldn't let something like that get in the way of me confronting her about it. That's probably why she acts like that- no one ever holds her accountable for her behavior! I understand the benefit to keeping civil with the in-laws, but I think there's a way you can navigate this so that you can both inform her of her shameful behavior and keep the peace. In the letter, I wouldn't act angry or indignant, but I would act like I very much pitied her, like this:

Dear Mrs.Lastname,

I noticed at my daughter's wedding last week that you were not your usual self, and I hope you are feeling better now. I don't want to cause any friction between us or our families, but I did want to discreetly let you know that many people at the wedding were very concerned about you when you started to serve the cake. I know you would never intentionally ruin such a lovely piece of art or knowingly prevent other people from enjoying it, but wedding cakes are difficult to cut without making a mess out of them, which is why we had our baker specifically instruct our friends X and Y in how to properly cut and serve the cake. I'm sure you're not aware that the cake was rendered inedible, even the lovely anniversary tier, after the change in servers. I've enclosed a few pictures of the cake after it was ruined, and I'm sure you can see why so many people were concerned for your state of mind. I wish you the best, and again, hope that you have made a full and speedy recovery. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Yours,

XYZ

sunnybono Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 6:51pm
post #43 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by ameena

Sunny,

It's horrible what happened. My two cents are:

Ask Susan for another topper

Don't get lawyers involved because they will just chew up more money than paying for the topper yourself.

Leave the drunk and MIL out of it because it will only cause stress for your daughter and her marriage. THe drunk and MIL obviously don't care and you and your daughter will only feel more stress, hurt and grief when they snub you again over the topper and the bill.

Be there for your daughter when this crazy MIL does something else to hurt her.

Update:
My husband thinks you should put in on youtube. And he agrees that was a sick think to do.




I agree...you actually need to talk to your daugther and her husband to see what they think should be done, if anything. YOu don't want your daughter getting in a sticky situation with inlaws from the get-go. Man...I would want to strangle the drunken idiot who destroyed the cake. This is unbelieveable. On the other hand...if you want to get the drunk back...take out an add in the paper and put photos in there of her tearing up the cake. You know something like this...

Wedding dress--$1500
Photographer--$800
Wedding Cake--$1100
Taking out an add in the newspaper of (insert Ms. Drunk Cake Cutter) making an ass out of herself at my daughter's wedding...PRICELESS.

KoryAK Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 10:10pm
post #44 of 84

kittypterror... omG! That is great! Are you listening sunny77? send that!

Sunny77 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:06am
post #45 of 84

Oh yes KoryAK, I am listening to all of you. Still trying to get rational before I decide what I will do. So many GREAT comments and I guess the fact that so many of you feel about the same way I do makes me know I'm not crazy for being so disappointed and upset about the entire thing.

schildwaster Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 11:26am
post #46 of 84

i would have your daughter get the pictures and talk to her mother in law about how upset she was with her friends behavior. How the cake was a very important part of her weddding for her and that her friend ruined it. She can inform her that you have purchased a anniversary tier for her because you know how important this was. This will at least let her know where she stands on future arguments with the inlaws. If they blow her off as being to "sensitive" about it, you know no matter what you say will make a difference. But if they say they will discuss it with the buttercream wearing drunk, they will be approachable on other issues. Like not feeding the future grandchildren chocolate cake in white clothes.

As someone that had a fair share of disasters at my wedding (fight, disputes with kitchen help, dj wanting to leave early) I have come up with the following. My wedding was beautiful and perfect, before the guests arrived... I hope your daughter enjoyed the rest of her day and has a very happy marriage. Your son in law was wise not to cause a scene at the wedding. It could have made it worse.

KatieTaylor77 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 11:47am
post #47 of 84

I love Kitty's solution . . . sounds so sweet, but only a brick wouldn't get the point!

amodeoandrea Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 12:02pm
post #48 of 84

sunnybono! That is so funny!
I'm sorry Sunny77, there are some people out there who think they are above the rules of society! I am a firm believer of what goes around comes around. I would not retaliate to save your daughter from having to deal with this. Good luck with whatever you do.

fmcmulle Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:12pm
post #49 of 84

I like Kittypterror's viewpoint and I probably would go that route now. I am also with Indydebi as far as I would have absolutely no problem pulling someone out by the hair if they ever attempted to do that at one of the functions that I were hosting. I have no patience for people whom act this way and it will not be tolerated with me. icon_mad.gif
I think I would check with your DD and her new husband first to see what they have to say about the incident.
I am so sorry that this happned on such a special event in your daughters life. I would love to see what the cake looked like before the icon_evil.gif made her appearance.
Let us know what happens...

ChristaPaloma Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:17pm
post #50 of 84

Oh dear... I am so sorry for that challenge, and the wonder of it is that no one witnessing could disway this spectacle.

I think your involvement should be to arrange the replacement of the topper for her freezer, or a replacement sent to her home for her anniversary. The rest is your daughter's and her husband's to choose how to deal with, as it involves their future, and affects you only peripherally.

If the woman's behavior has caused you enough grief that you have to speak about it to put it to rest, then pay her an early morning visit and let her know face to face how upset you were and what you did to repair the mess as best you could. You will find the woman's true character in how she responds to that, and that should let you know to watch out for her in future.

Court cases rarely do anything for this sort of thing but cost more money than cakes do. Lessons are not learned because impaired is impaired. It's a done deal and at this point, look to moving forward.

Escallating feudal behaviors is the stuff wars are made of and I think we all have enough of that on the planet. I sometimes wonder what idiotic behaviors on the part of the so few, started most of what we come to know as war, but one thing I am sure of, it is unbridalled anger. I'd let it go and be focussed to supporting my daughter and sil in whatever way they ask.

indydebi Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:30pm
post #51 of 84

I'm telling ya .... you don't have to actually go to court. A letter in her mailbox with an address of "Attorney at Law" will get her attention!

MimiFord Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:39pm
post #52 of 84

There isn't anyone's previous post that I don't agree with in some respect, and after reading the whole thread, I just have one question: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PEOPLE STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES AND WHAT IS RIGHT AND FAIR?!

I personally am not one to create waves, unless I feel I or my family have been wronged. This happened to your daughter and your new son-in-law (remember, mother's eat those that mess with their young!) I wouldn't give a rat's *** who the in-laws are, who the drunken high society person is, or how well connected they all are - they would all most certainly get a piece of my mind - if nothing else, just so I would feel better by letting them know THEY ruined MY daughter's one and only special day!!! Just because these people might have a little more money and stature in the community doesn't give them no holds barred access to do whatever they want to whomever they want, and hurt people's feelings in the process. I can say this because my FIL is a local businessman and very well connected, but he doesn't act like an *** either. I would have to get things off my chest, just so I wouldn't have a stroke or heart attack over it - then let it go. Yes, there may be consequences, but if your daughter and son-in-law, and yourself (for that matter) don't speak up for yourselves now, the new in-laws and their high society friends will run over you later on. I also know this, because I had to put my MIL and two of my SIL's in their places very early on. I could go on and on, but other posts have made the point. Think down the road when the birthday, anniversary, baby shower, and grandchildren's birthday's, and all the other things you want to celebrate with cake come along - stand up for yourself and your family NOW, so things like this never happen again!!!

I would also ask for or go to court for my money. I asked for 1/2 of the expenses on non-refundable deposits, etc. from the groom's family when my daughter cancelled her wedding. It took 2 months, but they did pay up after I threatened to take them to small claims court.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Mimi

DEBBIE157 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:40pm
post #53 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

If it were me, Drunky Drunkerson would get a bill for the entire amount of the cake with a strongly worded letter about her behavior. I'd let her know that she ruined your daughter's reception, no one was even able to eat the cake, and that if she failed to reimburse (whomever paid for it) as well as sending a written apology, she will quickly find herself in small claims court where you will add a sum for pain and suffering to the total.




DITTO THAT.

BIG DITTO.

"Drunky Drunkerson" icon_biggrin.gif should pay for the entire cake. AND should pay for the topper for the anniversary.

FIRST try to get a hold of those pics...... if you can ask for them without mother-in-law knowing WHY you want them... like laugh it up when you ask for the pics and once you get them--- well you know.

indydebi Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:44pm
post #54 of 84

MIMIFORD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! thumbs_up.gif

A previous post noted that "what goes around, comes around". Absolutely! Someone goes to a wedding and acts like a drunken no-account, then what comes around is the repercussions for those actions!

(I'm not a fan of being a doormat.)

lillykaci1 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 1:57pm
post #55 of 84

I seem to agree with everyone else. I'm sorry this had to happen to you and your daughter on her wedding, and I think the woman should have to pay, but I'm with Doug on the fact that you get the Pics and then find a Lawyer to send that nice letter and a nice little lawsite her way for the price of the cake and for the new top and for your poor daughters and your stress.

Again very sorry and I hope that everything works out for yall.

justme50 Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 2:09pm
post #56 of 84

I wouldn't let it slide, but I think it's matter for the bride and groom to handle.
I'm also a fan of husbands and wives taking care of these kinds of things each with their own families.


Imo, this is a matter that the groom should be taking care of entirely! It was his mother and his mother's friend, he should be telling them both exactly what he wants done. The last thing I think you ought to do is step into the middle of it. It was their wedding and it's his family.

I'd want every dime in damages to be paid, but I think the groom is the one who has to step up to the plate and take care of it.

shortNsweet Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 2:12pm
post #57 of 84

That is on eupsetting story! I am SO sorry that this happened. If this were MY wedding, I would be in a lawyer's office with those pictures and be suing not only for the cost of the cake but some emotional damages as well...and I am not someon ewho believes in sueing for every little thing. This was just too wrong! So sorry this happened. I am a person who is very strongly against alcohol...this is just another story that pleads my case...alcolhol is NOT needed at any event!

ChristaPaloma Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 2:12pm
post #58 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

MIMIFORD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! thumbs_up.gif

A previous post noted that "what goes around, comes around". Absolutely! Someone goes to a wedding and acts like a drunken no-account, then what comes around is the repercussions for those actions!

(I'm not a fan of being a doormat.)




OK well I have to face off with you on this indydebi lol.... kidding of course... we only differ in how we act/react to events and probablly are equally appalled and frustrated at humanity for these throwups.

I am in no way a fan of dormat mentalities either.
What I would say is, make your battles meaningful enough that the outcome isn't about the money, (unless the money is that meaningful to you) but is about the people involved. I'm going here on the basis that we do not know this person, (if alcoholism is involved it's illness and we need to start treating it so) and if I am upset enough about a stranger's behavior, I will go face to face with them, not have a letter do it for me. and I also don't care who they are society wise. I would however fully support my daughter and her husband in however they chose to handle the matter. They are grown ups and this is theirs to handle however they choose. A letter from Attourney at Law may get you your money, but the event goes unresolved as does the anger and that has to go somewhere. It usually gets injected into another event for resolution somewhere, sometime... a lot of baggage to carry I think. The whole thing in the end isn't about cakes and ruined weddings and money. It is about who we are and who we choose to be, and that is what governs out movements. I would still go see the woman, and she would know who I am before I was done with her, and I would know who she is, and that is the resolution of all war.

MimiFord Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 2:13pm
post #59 of 84

Thanks indydebi for the "thumbs up."

Maybe I should change my name to MommaBear or something - mess with my kids (grown - doesn't matter) or grandson and the fight is on!!! Husband still needs the b**** in me to stand up for him sometimes too.

I think it's age - after years of trying to be polite and "yes sir or yes ma'am" as I was taught getting me nowhere, had to change the game plan. Screw being nice to some people - THAT gets you nowhere.

BTW Sunny77, my husband and I just got back from Nashville - stopped by the Belle Meade Plantation last Friday on the way home and there was a wedding being set up there - just had to comment on the trip. We loved Nashville and hope to get back soon - everyone was soooo nice. Belle Meade would be a beautiful place for a fall wedding - would have loved to have stayed, but that's called "crashing" isn't it?

ChristaPaloma Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 2:16pm
post #60 of 84
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

MIMIFORD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! thumbs_up.gif

A previous post noted that "what goes around, comes around". Absolutely! Someone goes to a wedding and acts like a drunken no-account, then what comes around is the repercussions for those actions!

(I'm not a fan of being a doormat.)




OK well I have to face off with you on this indydebi lol.... kidding of course... we only differ in how we act/react to events and probablly are equally appalled and frustrated at humanity for these throwups.

I am in no way a fan of dormat mentalities either.
What I would say is, make your battles meaningful enough that the outcome isn't about the money, (unless the money is that meaningful to you) but is about the people involved. I'm going here on the basis that we do not know this person, (if alcoholism is involved it's illness and we need to start treating it so) and if I am upset enough about a stranger's behavior, I will go face to face with them, not have a letter do it for me, and I also don't care who they are society wise. I would however fully support my daughter and her husband in however they chose to handle the matter. They are grown ups and this is theirs to handle however they choose. A letter from Attourney at Law may get you your money, but the event goes unresolved as does the anger and that has to go somewhere. It usually gets injected into another event for resolution somewhere, sometime... a lot of baggage to carry I think. The whole thing in the end isn't about cakes and ruined weddings and money. It is about who we are and who we choose to be, and that is what governs out movements. I would still go see the woman, and she would know who I am before I was done with her, and I would know who she is, and that is the resolution of all war.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%