I understand exactly what you're saying there. Those are the exact reasons me and my husband got divorced last year... but we both changed our ways and got back together and are planning on remarrying this coming year... so technically he isn't my husband right now but still lol... Things change, people change, but at the same time she can't be so hard on him and can't be so mean to him....
I quit reading these posts after the first two pages because I'm wondering what this has to do with cake decorating. (I thought that was the purpose of this site). I think this sounds more of a relationship problem and professionals would be much better at solving the issues.
I guess in my perspective it's too bad that you can't both have a fun time together, him working on the cake and you sitting with him giving a few pointers and help, laughing joking, etc...
I agree with the comments, why wait for him to fail and then feel like you have to scramble to make it anyway - that really doesn't "teach him a lesson" other than "you can screw up all you want, I will torment you, yet still bail you out at the last minute". But I also totally agree with you that he should have gotten his butt out of bed if not to learn something but to hang with you while you were working. If he expects help from you then he should make an attemp as well.
It really could be a fun evening spent together, although I realize all marriages are not the same. I guess you just both need to communicate, my guess is that he has no idea that you feel like he is taking advantage of you all the time. I recommend a date night and tell him how you feel. It may change a lot. Good luck - I hope things turn out for the best - and post a picture of your DH's cake! You may be surprised at what he manages.
I always tell my DH - it's not so much WHAT you just said, as HOW you said it.
At this point in my married life (1 year in), if my hubby volunteered me, I'd probably be excited - but I would expect payment if it was going to feed people at work too......at least payment for the supplies/ ingredients. However, it sounds like you are quite busy with orders already - if my husband volunteered me to do something at THIS moment - when I'm working two jobs, doing a play at church, trying to make those ornament cupcakes from my mom, get a new job, get allergy shots and figure out my sleep apnea - I think I'd be pretty pissed.
It does depend on the relationship - if he does this often enough, then he's not being considerate of you. I think that consideration is a huge part of marriage - I don't think you should volunteer anyone to do anything without asking - especially b/c you can leave someone else hanging if your spouse isn't able to do what you said they could do - and it's not your spouse's fault then if they can't do it - YOU didn't ask....... but now that third person is screwed sometimes b/c they were expecting help with someone and now they don't have it. With my dad, I know he's volunteered me to do some things without asking and I got really upset about it b/c 1) I didn't want to do it, 2) I didn't have time to do it, 3) There wasn't enough money involved for it to be worthwhile, and 4) because he didn't ask. He knows now not to volunteer me for things, but he still does it to my mom sometimes and she's so exhausted and overworked already that it upsets her and it upsets me b/c I know she's overworked and exhausted. I really think you do have to try to "nip it in the butt" when you can.
That all being said - my husband did volunteer to make a cake once and did a chocolate-strawberry swirl w/ cake mix and then tried to put strawberry "filling" imbetween the layers..... well the filling got in with the icing and the cake ended up pink..... and then he didn't make a dam and put too much filling in so the whole thing was sliding all over the place..... and I laughed so hard. I had told him I would help but he wanted to do this one himself...... it tasted great, but man it didn't look great!!!
All in all - I think you offered to help him and you gave him a time you were available - at 10:30am - it was his choice not to get up and get help. That was when you were available. I don't think you should have to rearrange your entire schedule and be late getting paid cakes out the door - or have to stay up late to do your paid cakes while he gets to sleep all because HE volunteered HIMSELF to make a cake....... I think it's good to put your foot down sometimes but I think you've also made a good decision that if the cake turns out looking really bad or he comes to you desperate for help - AND you have a moment, I think you should try to help - but also say, "so now you realize how time consuming this is and how much work it is - so please don't volunteer to do this again - if you want a cake for someone, pay me at least for the ingredients. If a co-worker wants a cake, they need to pay full price."
Good luck and I hope everything works out! - Ooh will you post his picture in "cakes decorated by kids?" 
Or maybe we should have a new section - "cakes decorated by spouses who thought cake decorating was easy!". LOL we could have some REALLY funny things in there! (oops sorry I wrote another book again here)
Well first of all most people wouldn't offer your services without asking first However I would definetly make him help you do the baking and small stuff.Let him know very sternly to ask next time otherwise ....No cake!!!
You'll both be happier in the long run if you just help him with the cake. Yeah, maybe it's not exactly what you want to do, but I still think it's probably the right thing to do
Thinking about how busy you must be right now - I do realize that my comment about a "fun night together decorating" is probably not realistic. I totally get where you are coming from and you have to do what is going to be best for you in the long run. Running yourself ragged is not going to help anything. Really wish you the best of luck on this and hope that hubby really appreciates you after this one!
Between my 2 marriages, I have 28 years of married life..... once to a big jerk and once to a great guy! Current hubby "volunteered" me a couple of times. I did the cakes .... after I read him the riot act of how inconsiderate he was to not even think about the fact that I work full time, just like him, PLUS make wedding cakes PLUS run a cookie business PLUS run a catering business PLUS have to listen to him whine about how messy the house looks while he's busy making sure the TV remote is in constant working order (oh DON'T even get me started on THAT one!) and how DARE he volunteer my time without checking my schedule to see that I have 2 wedding cakes and 3 caterings to do this weekend! How dare he think that I have nothing to do so "...in my spare time....!" I can just slap together a cake for his friends.
Then I made the cake.
And he doesn't volunteer me anymore without checking my schedule first.
It's a simple matter of respect. Respect for everything I do. Respect for the time it takes. Respect for my schedule. Respect for the measly 4 hours of sleep I get a day. Respect for me, his wife.
It sounded to me like your hubby has no respect for the work involved ("I thought I could just cut out some letters......?"). And that he is taking you for granted when he decided to sleep in.
It's respect. Pure and simple.
Boy, this is all very black and white isn't it...Either you are wrong or he is wrong...
While he should have known or asked how busy you were, he did agree to bake the cake (Id be over the moon on that on, my DH cant/wont boil water) which was a step in the right direction.
As for the decorating, he does want this for a friend, so as a gift for a friend he would like it to be nice. You don't have the time. Neither one of you is evil or wrong on that account. You said he needs to do it, but he doesn't know how...You might want to think of it this way...If my husband said he didn't have time to change the oil in a friends car but I could do it, I'd be ticked, but say fine..so how do I do it? Now he tells me to come out and watch him change ours, then I will know. Most of us are hands on learners, so watching him would do me no good and I would be upset that he didn't offer to let me do it with his help. So I could figure it out. Maybe he is very insecure in what he is trying to learn and needs some hands on work, not just watching.
I know you don't have the time, so what you choose really is up to you (and you are not wrong in your decision as long as it is not made out of spite) Just consider his pride may not allow for him to try and tackle something he hasn't put his hands on before.
just a thought
I'm sorry but it seems to me when someone is standing back saying to themselves or others or even saying it to your face that you can't do it right and they know they are going to have to turn around and go behind you and fix your screw ups because it's not going to be done right he has a reason to be insecure in his skills or lack there of. Now granted not many men are crafty people but some men are. My husband sits with me every chance he gets and tries to learn the skills needed for the basic decorations and has even said yes when I asked him if he would want to attend the Wilton Classes with me next year. But the way she is saying it here makes it seem so belittling like she has no faith what so ever in this man she's married to, now yes he may not know much about cake decorating but that's her place in this... she should sit by him and walk him thru things as she does her other things that fill up her time.
I'm sorry I just see this type of thing happen in my parent's household way too much to be nice about it. He's a man, not an animal, he has feelings and I think the fact you are being so mean and rude and "I can do it better then you but I'm going to let you screw it up just so I can say I told you so in a few days" attitude is what causes problems in marriages and relationships. With my parents it's the raising of the grand kids. Mom-mom lets them get away with almost murder, Pop-pop doesn't and expects to be respected by the kids as well as his wife and he isn't so yes for the last 3 years they have been on the edge of divorce but always meet in the middle.
I think you need to get down off your pedistal and help this man do something nice for his friend/co-worker. Stop being so stubborn and mean. Maybe this is his way of asking you to teach him a new thing. Now yes he didn't get out of bed the other day when you offered to "show how it's done so he did it right" I wouldn't get outta bed for that either I would've told ya where to go with that kinda attitude but that's me sorry. Maybe he just wants your help in this and doesn't really want YOU to do it all he just wants your help.
I see a lot of negativity taking form. I think enough has been said on this subject so I'm locking it 
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