48Yrs Old And Still Get My Feelings Hurt!! How Stupid

Decorating By okred Updated 19 Oct 2007 , 6:03pm by woodthi32

okred Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:22pm
post #1 of 25

Okay, here is the story. I agreed to do a 16th birthday cake for my hairdresser's daughter. I told her I would do the cake but would not charge her because I am stilll practicing and I don't charge. I do have access to a commercial kitchen. After agreeing to do the cake she told me the party was for 100! Okay, still fine with that. I really wanted to practice. The next bummer, she wanted the cake to be red and black. . . okay, I have a new air brush . . . I would give it a try. She says great, understands I am practicing and says everything will be fine, however it turns out.

I have baked for years and have great recipes, so I am pretty confident the cakes tasted good. Now the decorating was not so good, but I don't think it was terrible.

My agony is she has not said anything about the cake. I delivered it and set it up and no one was there, just a sign reading "put cake here".

I thought it looked okay, my husband thought it looked okay, but nothing, no call. So now what do I do? Look for a new hairdresser? I can't make myself call her.

24 replies
SueBuddy Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:32pm
post #2 of 25

Awww, I'm sure the cake was good, I bet no matter what it looked like they ate it all. I don't know what type a person your hairdresser is, but could it be that she is just busy, and maybe one of those types that just doesn't take the extra time to call someone and thank them. She should have just because that is a lot of cake that she didn't have to pay for, but I wonder if she just hasn't thought about it? I would go to her for a haircut at least once more because if you don't you will always wonder. When she sees you she may bring up the cake, or it wouldn't hurt to ask her how it went. Any feedback, good or bad, helps you to learn. 'course I was just thinking that if she really didn't like it, maybe she would make your haircut look bad, to get even.......hmmm on second thought...HA! Just kidding!

susies1955 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 11:16pm
post #3 of 25

First off I'd like to say you are FAR from stupid. I don't care what age you are......you are human BUT I do have to say your perception could be clouded maybe because you feel insecure and 'need' the compliment from her for some reason. We all like that........that's for sure!
The nice thing for her to do would have been to call you up right away but things do come up and to her it probably isn't a rush thing to get a hold of you. You know what I mean? She probably has every intention of telling you how wonderful it was but maybe she is waiting for you to call for your next appointment or to stop in. Who knows?
What matters is that YOU did a kind thing and YOU did a good job.
Hang in there,
Susie

jsmith Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 2:59am
post #4 of 25

Judging from your other cakes I know it was beautiful. When I don't hear back from someone I worry they didn't like it too but then they call back months later to order another one. She'll probably tell you how much she loved it next time you get your hair done. Some people just don't think to call and give feedback on the cake.

aboelkens Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:02am
post #5 of 25

I totally agree with the others. We have feelings, no matter what our age is. I also, crave immediate feedback but I'm trying to learn that the cake is not as important to others as it is to me. I am sure that when you see her she will tell you how wonderful it was. icon_lol.gif

cwcopeland Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:12am
post #6 of 25

I agree with the others. I think she probably just got busy and hasn't had time. Although, if I got a free cake from someone for 100 people, I would definately call and thank them. Your other cakes are beautiful so I'm sure this one was too. Do you have a pic? I'm dieing to see it.

AuntieElle Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:16am
post #7 of 25

I agree that we all love our comments and compliments but some just don't give any! I wouldn't be looking for a new hairdresser. I'm sure everything is fine! Relax and don't be so hard on yourself. Hehehe, listen to me! I am giving advice that I can't take! I am terrible on myself! Gotta run, I have a huge PITA cake for 9:30am. Who has a Birthday party at 10am anyway?

Elle

CambriasCakes Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:24am
post #8 of 25

If YOU felt it looked good and were happy with it then I'm sure she was too. Sometimes I catch myself thinking the same thing too but you have to put yourself in their shoes. How many times have you called a company/vendor to tell them how much you loved their product? It doesn't happen very often, although I agree with everyone else's response that she should have called to thank you for all that free cake!

auntginn Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:28am
post #9 of 25

They're all right. I don't remember how the saying goes, but it's a well known fact, that people often forget to say thank you or compliment, but when they don't like something they are the first to tell you how unhappy they are. The fact that they have been quiet is a good sign. No news is good news.

pinkbox Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:44am
post #10 of 25

sweetheart... I just took a look at your photos in your gallery... you have wonderful gifts. Gifts of kindness and cake.

If this cake even looked half as good as any of your other ones... she should be thrilled.

I agree with the others. Im sure she was thrilled and most importantly her daughter was thrilled. Just too busy to appreciate all your hard work.

Now unlike most others, I will call and follow up and ask for feedback. First... it keeps me from going crazy. Second, it helps me improve. I dont know how many times Ive had a customer say... I appreciate you calling to make sure it all went okay.

I dont know about you... but most of my "payment" is that "awhhh its beautiful" not monetary

jlh Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:47am
post #11 of 25

I've had this happen a few times. They never called or emailed. I just assumed the worst. I got a repeat order. I was like..."what? ..uh. sure". So, don't sweat it. I think people think of it just like a pro bakery. How often do you call a restaurant to say, wow, thanks, those appetizers were just the bomb? I'm sure they loved it!!!

Kitagrl Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:51am
post #12 of 25

I used to email and try to get feedback and make sure everything was ok....but now I don't. I'd rather not hear anything than to hear something negative. I get enough good comments to keep me going...and I've gotten to where as long as I have my money and the customer has their cake, and nobody is upset enough to contact me, then all's good. haha.

Sometimes its upsetting to spend a long time on a cake and never hear back but hey I figure I don't write nice notes to people I buy stuff from so....

okred Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 4:31am
post #13 of 25

thanks so much everyone!

you all are right, she is a very busy person and probably just went on.

If I could just give it a rest and quit going over and over that something went wrong after I left the cake.

frankandcathy Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 5:26am
post #14 of 25

When I was making cakes to sell, if I hadn't heard from the buyer in a day or two, I would always do a follow-up call. People just get busy and they ALWAYS appreciated the call whether they liked the cake or not.

Also, there are lots of wonderful things about you.

On your deathbed, no one is going to say, "Yeah...she was great. Remember all those cakes she made?"

Then someone else mght say, "Oh yeah but what about that ONE cake she made for the hairdresser's daughter? That one wasn't so great, right?" icon_surprised.gif)

What really matters about a person is how they treat other people. Don't get so focused on a hobby/job that you lose sight of what life is about!! If you're doing your best to love others, you're doing a fantastic job at life!

~C

Karabear1125 Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 8:37am
post #15 of 25
Quote:
Quote:

Now unlike most others, I will call and follow up and ask for feedback. First... it keeps me from going crazy. Second, it helps me improve. I dont know how many times Ive had a customer say... I appreciate you calling to make sure it all went okay.




I do this too! I always call and follow up and make sure everything went okay. It seems like they really appreciate it too. But I wouldn't worry to much about, Your cakes are beautiful and I'm sure she liked it.

okred Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 10:25pm
post #16 of 25

I guess I should have called her, instead of wonder this long not knowing anything. Now I don't know if I can face her again. I am really afraid she didn't like the cake.

Lesson learned, just call them, especially if no one is there when you set up.

Anyone know a good beautician!!!!

Lindakbh Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 12:53am
post #17 of 25

Since you told her that you weren't charging because you are still learning, why don't you call her and ask for an evaluation? Maybe just approach it as an educational exercise. I can't believe she didn't thank you- cake for 100 is not a small gift.

adven68 Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 5:25am
post #18 of 25

Based on the photos in your gallery, I'm sure the cake was beautiful. At the very least (even if the cake was atrocious icon_biggrin.gif ) she should have had the decency to call you and thank you for making it!

Sunny77 Posted 6 Oct 2007 , 6:46pm
post #19 of 25

Okred, I'm anxious to find out what the results were. I'm sure she just hasn't thought it important to let you know how wonderful your cake came out. It could not have been horrible, she probably would have called you right away for that bit of news. You did a wonderful thing for your hairdressers daughter and I'm confident they were very pleased. I just hope they let YOU know soon. I looked at your cake photos and I definitely agree, you couldn't have made a horrible cake!! I predict when you do hear, you will be pleased. Please let us know.

Cake-Happy Posted 7 Oct 2007 , 3:16pm
post #20 of 25

Okred-- I also made a cake for my hairdresser's baby shower, and I didn't hear one word until I went in for my next appointment. Then she told me how everyone at the party stood around it and said how great it was. So hopefully she's just busy and didn't give it another thought after the party. Some people are just like that. To their defense... most people just do not know the work involved. I sure didn't until I started making cakes! I'm sure she loved it.

okred Posted 18 Oct 2007 , 4:57pm
post #21 of 25

UPDATE

Well they loved the cake, said it was the best they had ever eaten!

And they thought they might have to go to walmart to buy cake to serve because birthday girl didn't want to let anyone cut the cake!

anyway, they left the next day for a trip and just didn't think to let me know they liked the cake.

This really made me miserable for about three weeks, so in the future I will call the next day, not fishing for compliments, but just to check and make sure everything is okay.


thanks everyone, gosh we put a lot of heart into these cakes, no one really understands.

Lindakbh Posted 18 Oct 2007 , 4:59pm
post #22 of 25

Thanks for the update- I'm so glad you were able to get the feedback and that it was good.

You are right, we sure do put a lot of heart and soul into our work, and besides us there are few that truly understand that!

jarjam1026 Posted 18 Oct 2007 , 5:17pm
post #23 of 25

okred, just wondering if you took a pic of the cake? Just wondering.

tennilleshahan Posted 19 Oct 2007 , 5:46pm
post #24 of 25

This post is several weeks old, but I just saw it. After looking at your other cakes there is no way the cake you made for your hairdresser's daughter was anything but gorgeous!

woodthi32 Posted 19 Oct 2007 , 6:03pm
post #25 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by okred

Okay, here is the story. I agreed to do a 16th birthday cake for my hairdresser's daughter. I told her I would do the cake but would not charge her because I am stilll practicing and I don't charge. I do have access to a commercial kitchen. After agreeing to do the cake she told me the party was for 100! Okay, still fine with that. I really wanted to practice. The next bummer, she wanted the cake to be red and black. . . okay, I have a new air brush . . . I would give it a try. She says great, understands I am practicing and says everything will be fine, however it turns out.

I have baked for years and have great recipes, so I am pretty confident the cakes tasted good. Now the decorating was not so good, but I don't think it was terrible.

My agony is she has not said anything about the cake. I delivered it and set it up and no one was there, just a sign reading "put cake here".

I thought it looked okay, my husband thought it looked okay, but nothing, no call. So now what do I do? Look for a new hairdresser? I can't make myself call her.



I know how you feel. I hate it when ppl don't call. Please don't let it hurt your feelings. There are any number of good reasons they wouldn't call. We all say, "I gotta call so and so, " and then it takes forever to do it!

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