Mean Caterer!!!! (Venting)

Decorating By summernoelle Updated 23 Oct 2007 , 6:11pm by 1gananny

summernoelle Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 9:02pm
post #1 of 28

I am a member of a church that has a commercial kitchen. It has taken me months and months to get them to respond to me about renting their kitchen.
This week, I finally spoke to someone, who gave me the name of the woman who is supposedly in charge of renting it, and I called her, left several messages, and today, she left a super snotty message that said "I can't rent to you. It interfers with my schedule."
She didn't even know when I wanted to use it! So I called her back, and she tells me that she rents it out herself for her "very busy" catering business and didn't want me in the kitchen when she was. So I ask her if I could just work when she wasn't, and she said, no, she didn't want to deal with my schedule! She works 7 days a week, all day, blah blah blah. Of course, I have NEVER seen her cooking in there all the times I have been to the kitchen, but that is beside the point.
Then, she tells me that if I did rent the kitchen, that I would have to have one of HER employees there. What the tapedshut.gif ? That doesn't even make sense. It is the church's kitchen, not hers! Why would I have to hire one of her employees to supervise me?
Basically, I think it boils down to the woman just doesn't want to share. I am so mad, not because the answer was no (OK, maybe 10% of it icon_rolleyes.gif ) but because she pretty much just blew me off, and said no without checking with anyone else, because she is selfish!
Should I contact someone else at the church? Or just leave it alone because it would make her mad, and who needs that?

27 replies
briansbaker Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 9:21pm
post #2 of 28

Hi!!! Were Neighbors!! I'm in North Richland Hills..
Wonderful Cakes!!

Ok.. Now About your story. i would think, she would LOVE to take part in allowing you to rent the kitchen. I mean is it not for the church.. I mean the money.. Sounds as if she is being selfish.. I would complain to someone about her rudeness.. But not about the whole she wont let me rent it.. Good Luck

ccr03 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 9:34pm
post #3 of 28

I would definitely contact someone at the church! I volunteer at the church and it's school but there is only one person that is in charge of the school gym rental schedule. It used to be one person, but she didn't do a very good job at it.

But the point is 1. the church may not even know how she is administering the kitchen rental, 2. you would be giving the church more money and trust me no church is gonna turn down more money and 3. it is not her kitchen to rent out. It is the church kitchen. The church may have asked/put her in charge, but for her to act like it is her own personal property is wrong. I would definitely let the church know. HOWEVER, I would not be snotty or angry about it. When you talk with the church person, ask polite, straight questions. Tell them that you are confused on the kitchen rental process. Her them exactly what she told you. Let them know that you are very interesting in renting the kitchen and if the arrangement with the cater is already made like that, you don't mind working around her.

summernoelle Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 9:44pm
post #4 of 28

She also kept telling me I would be subletting it from her, which I didn't get.

maria892 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 9:54pm
post #5 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

She also kept telling me I would be subletting it from her, which I didn't get.




That would mean that she rents the kitchen from the church and YOU would be renting the kitchen from HER.

So you would be paying HER the rent and not the church - that is how I read it anyway. So, would the church know about this sub-let business. ??

I would definitely talk to someone else.

If you are at the church then you want to keep the money for your church solely, right? Seems a bit of greed has jumped on to this ladies shoulders.

summernoelle Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:01pm
post #6 of 28

Well, greed for not wanting to share. She was so snotty, too! The message she left made me so mad, and they when I spoke to her, she said that she didn't want to deal with me needing to use it, too.
I wrote my pastor, who was the one who helped me in the first place. Our church is so big that it is impossible to know who to contact, anyway. Uh oh, that makes me nervous. Like he isn't busy enough already!

luv2cake Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:05pm
post #7 of 28

Yeah, I agree...talk to someone else in the church. Just tell them that you were confused by your conversation with this lady. Maybe the church leadership doesn't know what's going on and that this lady thinks the kitchen belongs to her.

I go to a church with a commercial kitchen also. I have thought about renting it out, but I am not ready to do that just yet. But I have a Pastor that believes that the church belongs to the members and he usually offers their facilities free of charge...however, if I wanted to use it for profit, I would probably have to pay rent...which is only fair.

But back to my point....I would talk to someone else. Maybe the answer would still be "no," but at least you can let someone know how posessive of the kitchen this lady is. It's unfortunate for sure!

maria892 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:10pm
post #8 of 28

It doesn't hurt to ask questions, and that way, in your mind you'll know the answer once and for all.

Good Luck and your pastor should not be too busy to answer a simple question for you.

MimiFord Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:11pm
post #9 of 28

I would suggest going back to the person that referred you this caterer, after all, she also has to answer to someone if she is renting also, correct?

JMHO, it doesn't matter how large a congregation is, use of the premises should be available to anyone that belongs to the congregation, whether they use the facilities for free or pay, as long as it is for reasonable use, and doesn't interfere with church activities/functions.

This person obviously hasn't learned much from being a member of your church, or anyone else's for that matter.

summernoelle Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:24pm
post #10 of 28

MimiFord, thanks for putting into words what I couldn't. You are right about use of the premises being for the congregation. I'll use that if anyone gives me a hard time!
Although, why do I feel like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum about not getting my way? Something about how she treated me just flipped a switch that made me think, hey! that's not fair! LOL

sheila06 Posted 28 Sep 2007 , 10:45pm
post #11 of 28

I think you should take it before the board of the church !!!
Usually the board of the church is the one who runs the financial areas of the church. In our case it is. The board may have someone in charge of different areas of the church (such as the kitchen) as well as different areas of ministry. But all of those people usually have to report in to the board on things that are going on in their area. I would be put on their agenda and attend the next meeting and voice what happened and what you are trying to accomplish. Tell them how she was acting also....some churches (especially big ones) may want to know how the people of their congregation is acting, after all they represent that church !! Let them take it from there and they can make the desicison and over- ride everything she says.

aswartzw Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 2:10am
post #12 of 28

I would be cautious about telling people how she acted. Since you're working through the pastor, only discuss the details with him, no one else. You never know what kind of friends this lady has in what places and you don't want to step on anybody's toes. The pastor will know how to handle this and will direct you in the best direction to go. Until then, just be patient. Sadly, you have to deal with the church politics and that can get really sticky if handled wrong.

I'm sure something will be worked out although I doubt the caterer will ever be nice to you. icon_sad.gif

DoniB Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 2:32am
post #13 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

MimiFord, thanks for putting into words what I couldn't. You are right about use of the premises being for the congregation. I'll use that if anyone gives me a hard time!
Although, why do I feel like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum about not getting my way? Something about how she treated me just flipped a switch that made me think, hey! that's not fair! LOL




Maybe because it wasn't fair? icon_razz.gif Seriously... I agree with Mimiford... the church property should be shared by its members, and she should make allowances for you. This lady didn't even give you a chance, and sounds like she's considering it her territory, without regard to anyone else's needs or feelings. If she's running a catering business that's that busy, shouldn't she have enough incoming cash to be able to support her own place by now? I understand if she's working up to that, but hindering someone else for her own gain... that's not a very spiritually aware thing to do, IMHO, no matter what religion you are!

I'd definitely make someone aware of it, though it's true that you should do so as discreetly as possible. I don't think I've ever been in any organization where the politics could get as nasty as in church. (your mileage may vary)

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

DoniB Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 2:34am
post #14 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

MimiFord, thanks for putting into words what I couldn't. You are right about use of the premises being for the congregation. I'll use that if anyone gives me a hard time!
Although, why do I feel like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum about not getting my way? Something about how she treated me just flipped a switch that made me think, hey! that's not fair! LOL




Maybe because it wasn't fair? icon_razz.gif Seriously... I agree with Mimiford... the church property should be shared by its members, and she should make allowances for you. This lady didn't even give you a chance, and sounds like she's considering it her territory, without regard to anyone else's needs or feelings. If she's running a catering business that's that busy, shouldn't she have enough incoming cash to be able to support her own place by now? I understand if she's working up to that, but hindering someone else for her own gain... that's not a very spiritually aware thing to do, IMHO, no matter what religion you are!

I'd definitely make someone aware of it, though it's true that you should do so as discreetly as possible. I don't think I've ever been in any organization where the politics could get as nasty as in church. (your mileage may vary) For what it's worth, I once had to deal with someone not acting correctly at a church, and it was kept very quiet... I didn't tell anyone. Turns out it wasn't just happening to me... it was happening to a lot of people. The pastor was actually the one doing the damage, but by the time I found that out, it was ten years and a lot of water under burned bridges too late. icon_sad.gif

Tell someone, and make sure that your complaint is documented, as well, so that if it turns out she's turning down other folks' requests for kitchen space, you'll have something to take to the board of directors, deacons, or whatever flavor of committee you have in your church.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

summernoelle Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 2:48am
post #15 of 28

Thanks! I'm sure it will have to wait till Monday, when they get back.
Grrrr. I'm still annoyed.

Doug Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 2:51am
post #16 of 28

speaking as a church treasurer....

she does NOT have the right to sublet without church approval.

you have equal right to rent.

AuntieElle Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:08am
post #17 of 28

What a hag! What ever happened to sharing and having that sort of spirit? I agree that if it belongs to the congregation not just this lady. I also agree that if she's that busy, she should have enough money to have her own sace. I am curious as to why you had to ask her anyway, she doesn't own the space! Of course she doesn't want to share! Sharing limits her coming and going as she pleases. She needs to have her employee there with you? This isn't her shop, it's a church! I agree to keep her nasty attitude between you and the neccessary peeps. Sharing with others could make you look bad and I'm sure you don't want that. Good luck and don't give up just yet!

Elle

summernoelle Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 4:41am
post #18 of 28

Doug always knows everything. icon_smile.gif

justducky Posted 29 Sep 2007 , 3:14pm
post #19 of 28

It appears this woman has become too territorial in this kitchen. Going through the pastor was the correct venue. It is his duty as shepard to remind her that it does not belong to her or the church. It all belongs to God, and is what she doing and how she is acting, glorifying or edifying to God?

Nuff said. (all this information is available in that book at the church.. the bible)

lionladydi Posted 30 Sep 2007 , 3:41am
post #20 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by aswartzw

I would be cautious about telling people how she acted. Since you're working through the pastor, only discuss the details with him, no one else. You never know what kind of friends this lady has in what places and you don't want to step on anybody's toes. The pastor will know how to handle this and will direct you in the best direction to go. Until then, just be patient. Sadly, you have to deal with the church politics and that can get really sticky if handled wrong.

I'm sure something will be worked out although I doubt the caterer will ever be nice to you. icon_sad.gif




You are definitely correct about the church politics. My daughter is the secretary at her church and the back biting and gossip and tattling is endless. Definitely not my idea of how a church should be. I agree. Discuss this with the pastor.

Diane

indydebi Posted 30 Sep 2007 , 4:08am
post #21 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheila06

.... after all they represent that church !!




It is people like this that cause problems for the 'good people' of a church. A person would hear this story and lean toward the "I don't want to belong to that church, if THAT'S how they are!" Well, "they" aren't like that .... just this one woman. But unfortunately, it only takes one to tarnish the entire church.

adven68 Posted 30 Sep 2007 , 1:34pm
post #22 of 28

It sounds to me as if she has rented the kitchen on a regular basis and she counts on having that space, righteously, because she pays for it. I agree that a church's amenities should be shared by the congregation which supports it, but if they have already rented a particular space to someone, then the renter has the rights to the space for the amount of time stated in their agreement with the church.

I guess, after you find out who, in fact, she has the agreement with, you can find out at what terms she rents from them. She may, very well, have already agreed with the church that she can sublet to whoever needs the space, at her discretion.

Unfortunately, her rudeness prevents you from finding these things out the easy way.

kansaslaura Posted 30 Sep 2007 , 1:58pm
post #23 of 28

...maybe she has worked out a deal with the church she can use it anytime they're not for a certain price.

...maybe she thinks that if you start using the kitchen, it will turn into time crunch for her when she needs to be in it.

Just throwing out possiblities for the other side.

Rudeness, however is not acceptible for any senario.

justme50 Posted 30 Sep 2007 , 2:04pm
post #24 of 28

It sounds to me like adven68 may be correct.

If she's already renting the space, it's her space just like it would be if she were renting a house or any other space and it's up to her whether or not she wants to sublet or share it.

However, there was no need for her to be rude about it.

summernoelle Posted 2 Oct 2007 , 11:51pm
post #25 of 28

Well, it is Tuesday now, and I wrote my pastor Friday. I'm guess that it's just not going to get a response! Oh well. Time to keep looking...

SweetResults Posted 3 Oct 2007 , 2:14am
post #26 of 28

I would not give up so easily - give him a call and talk to him. He may just not have much time to write back...

Housemouse Posted 23 Oct 2007 , 7:07am
post #27 of 28

Summernoelle
Did you hear back from your pastor yet?
Housemouse

1gananny Posted 23 Oct 2007 , 6:11pm
post #28 of 28

I'm with "housemouse", curious to know what the outcome of this was. I hope your pastor has talked to you by now, and let you know what the deal is. It has been plenty of time.

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