I seem to be suffering lately from foot-in-mouth disease. Here's my problem:

A few weeks ago an older woman I know from church approached me about a sheet cake for bridal shower cake for her office. I occasionally make cakes for this woman and only charge her $1/serving because I know she is on a fixed income. I also really prefer not to do sheet cakes. I asked her if I could do a fondant covered tiered cake (for my portfolio) and she said no, they prefered a sheet cake. So I thought, fine, I'll do a grocery-store looking sheet cake since that's what she wants. I told her by email that the cost for her was $24 ($1/serving) but for anyone else it would be $48 for the same cake.

The day she came to pick it up she was running late and didn't get to my house until after 9 p.m. so I was a little irritated because I was tired, and to be honest, sheet cakes make me grumpy anyway. So she picked it up and oohed and aahed over it (it's the most recent cake in my photos) and then she handed me the check for payment...written by someone else. Someone else was paying for the cake! I felt really used, like she was using her connection with me to get a better price for her friends. So right there I said "from now on, have your friends call me directly, because they don't get your prices". She said she would, and that she would only call me for her own cakes from now on.

On Saturday there was a card in the mail from her -- I thought it would just be a 'thank you' card, but inside was a check for $25 and a note that said she loved me and she would never knowingly disappoint me.

What would you do? It wasn't even her cake!

I would leave it alone. She probably felt bad once you talked to her about it and didn't want you to be upset. If you really feel bad about it call her and talk to her. Maybe once you talk to her you can decide if you want to return the check.

i agree, i think she felt guilty ordering a cake from you which was obviously for another person because she gets your discounted price. Id say no more discounts to anyone, before you know it, it will get around that you give a discount to fixed income customers. do you give an extra discount for people wanting cakeboss who say they're just starting out and dont have alot of spare money.
So cash the cheque and call or email her to thank her for it and to say you have updated your prices and policy. Same price for all from now on.

There is no reason for you to feel bad. Go cash the check. This woman took advantage of you and the special pricing you give to her, even if it was done inadvertantly. I think your response to her was great - no excuses needed.

I would cash the check, and be sure to thank her for the gesture the next time you talk to her. It was a misunderstanding I'm sure, and she's just trying to make it right so there are no hard feelings. Let her do it.

Firt off good for you for letting her know your feelings straight up!!!!!!
Secondly......... Cash the Check!!Fool me once shame on you,fool me twice shame on me!!

i wouldn't cash the check. i would return it to her and tell her you know she didn't hadn't intended the outcome. and that if she still wanted to pay more, she should donate it to the church.

Cash the check. She knew she was wrong, so she's making it right. It was for someone else, getting her discount. She's trying to right a wrong, so let her.

I guess I am in the minority, but I agree with JMT -- I wouldn't cash the check; however, I am glad you asked her to have her friends call you directly. I recently had to do the same with a friend who was constantly ordering cakes for the rest of her family.

If she is older and on a fixed income, she probably balances her checkbook to a T and would be waiting for the check to clear (that is how my grandma is), so I would just put it in a little note and send it back to her.

I'm with jmt, I would return the check. Give her the benifit of the doubt. She probably wasn't trying to be dishonest.

I say cash it, I don't know how you made that size of a cake for 24.00 I have charged 40.00 for a 1/2 sheet and that is just a little over cost. That takes 3 cake receipes plus at least a big batch of buttercream. I am not legal so I don't feel right charging full prices, but my husband insist I at least make my money back. so I have started figuring out cost so I can.

I don't think I'd cash it. I would call her, tell her that I received it and thank her for righting her wrong. Although she was wrong she really didn't have to send you the card or the money.. You'd already accepted and told her how you felt when she picked the cake up..
She seems sincere and imo you shouldn't take that for granted. kindness comes around, full circle... she was wrong.. she made it right, now it's your turn to decide whats right for you... If you do or don't cash it, how are you going to feel..

I would also say don't cash it. Maybe the cake really was for her but she didn't have the money at the time she picked up the cake and asked someone to write a check for her.

If she is insistant on you having the money and you don't want to keep it you could donate it to the church in her name.

This story breaks my heart. I would not cash the check. I would return it personally or with a note saying that you didn't mean to upset her and you aren't disappointed with her and that you were just letting her know for future cake orders. Even tell her you were tired that night and didn't mean to come across as angry or upset. I don't think she did this just to get a cheap cake. She may not even know the going rate for cakes. You have to remember, most people just don't understand the cake business the way we do. You didn't say if the $25 check was her own money or not.

I too have dealt with elderly fixed income folks. Once I had a lady ask me for an $18 cake but I dressed it up a little with some royal flowers (just for my own fun) and made it a little fancier. It was easily a $50 cake when I was finished. I dropped it off and she handed me a wad of cash. When I got to the car it was only $12. I didn't have the heart to go back and ask for more.

The cake you made for her was beautiful and adds a nice touch to your portfolio. Not everything in life or the cake business is about profit. Think of the free advertisement you got at her place of work and the peace of mind you will have knowing you still have a loyal friend and customer. You'll sleep better and you can't put a price on that.

I agree return the check. Although she knew she got a good price she might have not intended to take advantage.

I think you handled perfectly by being upfront.

If she took the time to write the check I would cash it. Most seniors have a great deal of pride and would not want it on their conscious that they did something wrong rather intentional or unintentional. I would however have a conversation with her letting her know you appreciate what she did.

It's true everything should not be about profit, but give the lady her dignity by accepting something she wanted you to have.

I would give her a call & tell her that you appreciate the gesture. That you did not intend to make her feel bad. I don't think she meant to take advantage of you. See what she says & take her lead. cuddos to you for letting her know this. I don't know if I could of. [/center]

I totally agree with sweetie112 and was going to say something similar. I don't think she was meaning to take advantage of you, I think she honestly just wasn't thinking of it that way and when you pointed it out...in a very nice, professional way, btw...I think she probably felt bad and wanted to right her wrong. Let her do that, it's a matter of pride or else she wouldn't have taken the time to do so. It's not about the money, it's about being appreciated. Her appreciating you..and you appreciating her. Very, very nice of her...very good etiquette. I think returning it would be a slap in the face of that.

If you're really struggling about what to do and are having a hard time keeping it....what about cashing the check and then sending her a thank you and telling her you'd like her to use it as a credit towards her next cake. That way, she feels better having sent it, and you feel better not "Taking" it. Consider it an advance payment. Just an idea.

If it were me, I would probably return the check. I don't think she tried to mislead you, she was probably just doing a favor for a friend. She's probably really embarassed and doesn't want to look bad in your eyes.

I say cash the check.

As has been previously mentioned, she took advantage of you, and is now sorry. I believe to return the check would be an insult to her sense of personal value. To return the check would make a statement about your opinion on her ability to make her own choices (even if you don't believe she is incapable of making that desicion, she may feel that you do) - I understand that you did not ask for the cheque, but she chose to give it, and to return that implies that you do not feel she is capable of desicion making. She probably feels quite bad about taking advantage of someone who is so kind to her.

I also understand your dilemna about her situation, and I think it is fantastic that you make this discount for a fixed income senior, - I can't express my pleasure at discovering this kindness. I would be so dissapointed if you discontinued this practice because of a mistake this woman made and has attempted to rectify.

Send a card in return thanking her for the cheque and reassure her that you still appreciate her and understand where she is coming from.

My opinions are based entirely upon how I would feel if I had been the elderly lady who made the mistake, and on how my grandmothers would react had they made the faux pas this lady did.

! !

Everyone has posted with SUCH wonderful support and advice. I find myself agreeing with each post as I read it. "Yes, I should cash the check! Wait...no, I shouldn't! Well, maybe..." LOL

All your thoughts are helping me clarify my own. I'm actually still undecided, but I'm leaning towards writing her a note thanking her for the check and telling her I've signed the check over to the church, so the $25 which would have paid for my time can now be my gift.

Thanks again to everyone, and I will of course follow up if there is any more news. CC'ers are the BEST ANYWHERE.

I can honestly say I would return the check. I would simply call her or wait until you see her next and return it to her...if she says no she won't execpt it back then go home and mail it back. I would explain to her that while you were upset at the moment, you now know that she knows where you stand and while you don't mind offering her a discounted price you are in this for profit and can't afford to do it for everyone. But that "this time you'll let it slide". Definitely tell her you're not disappointed in her!

Good for you for donating the money. You will be blessed and happier in the long run.

I think you are absolutely choosing the right road.... by donating this check (for your time) to the church...
I applaud you on all your actions in the sitution.... so many people dont respect elders and their tight incomes these days.


I have a neighbor that my children call "Gramma" and we adore her. I make cakes for her birthday and mothers day...and sometimes give her cakes from tastings (6 in Rounds)... all just for gifts. She sends thank you cards and buys the boys little bday gifts and welcomes them in to see her whenever they drift over to her porch. Shes a sweet woman and a good Christian. She gives out my business cards to people she knows and Ive gotten a couple small orders from it. Anyway, once when I took her over a sample cake, She said, "baby your cakes are beautiful I wish I could afford them. But I just cant on my income, and I wouldnt want to hurt your feelings or lose you money asking for a cheaper price." I just told her no worries and she'd always have hugs and cake from us. I really dont care if she gets an 16.99 one from walmart because thats what works for her ya know....but I so much appreciated her words and always her kindness.

So, I definately think youll do the right thing by following ur heart...nice job and u do beautiful work btw!

OK, I say to return the check with a little note. It is very possible that when she placed the order that the cake was indeed for her and somewhere along the way with all of the planning she ended up paying for something else and another coworker gave her the money to give to you. You did good being upfront with her, I was just saying the other day how much heart ache you avoid when you are honest with people!! hth!!

I wouldn't cash the check. I guess I am a sucker for gramma's and obviously she is a sweet lady and didn't mean to take advantage of you. JMO
Good Luck!

Honestly I could not cash the check in good heart. It was a misunderstanding and she felt bad and did right by you and your relationship. THat in itself is enough for me.

Cakeboss I think you handled the situation beautifully. She now knows not to use you for other persons orders She might just not have viewed it from your piont of view and realise she overstepped. You have pulled her up on that account and she now knows it is not acceptable. I believe swinging either way is acceptable however I would let it slide.

You have had a good realationship all this time. The fact that she even gave you the cheque shows her appreciation for you. I think you sending back the cheque and thanking her nicely for even considering to pay the correct price will make her see that you care about your customers as well, not only the money. I am sure she will not do it again as she has recognised she was wrong. Trust me she will be singing your praises to everyone after. Because she will recognise that value and principle matters to you as well. Therefore your service you offer will reflect this.