This happened about 2 years ago but stills kills me to this day! DS was in first grade. I gett a call from the school Prinicpal. "Mrs McG" we have a problem. I have Cole here in the office and he's in quite a bit of trouble." Up to this point I had always been so proud of his behavior at school and home. She continues, "He stuck an unfolded paperclip into the light switch in the bathroom. His finger is burned and he was shocked a little but other than that he's okay. The big problem is now we DON"T HAVE ANY ELECTRICITY in the first grade wing and have had to relocate our classes into the library and cafteria until we get an electrician out to find out how to fix this." I wanted to crawl under a rock! Only MY son knocks out the electricity in the elementary being a goof ball! When he got home off the bus later that afternoon. . .H walked through the door with that doom and gloom look on his face, wondering what his punishment was going to be. DH decided a SERIOUS talk about electricity, how it works and can hurt or kill you was good enough. He was punished enough. We now get a huge laugh out of it and his nickname has been Sparky vere since.
What was your "Crowning Moment" as a Mother?

Elle

When my dd Lily was 2 1/2 and pretty much potty trained, but still had an occasional accident, we cleared out McDonalds. She came to me with a finger that was brown and stinky, after playing up in the tunnels in the Playland. I took her to the bathroom and noticed a little tiny skidmark in her panties, but I knew she had not pooped yet that day. We were in a stall going potty, and a woman came in SCREAMING at her 2 boys "What were you thiking playing with that poop?" and "You should never touch poop". Of course, Lily was the culprit! As we washed hands, I said to her that we got some on us too. Her boys had crawled through the poop and gotten it all over their jeans and shirts, and also their hands. When we went back to our table, ALL the kids had poop on them. Two little girls in their leotards after dance class were covered in it. It was a real mess. And these 2 guys had to don hazmat suits with masks and crawl up in the tunnel to clean the poop.

Michelle! I have hurt myself laughing!!!!!!!!!! That is toooo funny!



Elle

I think I am going to die. That is so funny.

that cracked me up.........

I hate mcdonalds playland......when my niece was little some little $#!* tried choking her....I mean hands around her neck.......I was screaming!!! I mean its not like you can go easily up there and rescue them (so we stay away from tunnels)....

Gosh....I have many. Probably the most recent would be in June when my daughter was chosen to be first runner up in the Miss Kansas Pageant. Actually....IT WAS A VERY SAD MOMENT AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!! Bittersweet ))

Oh, my son did me proud earlier this summer. The kids went to a karate day camp during the summer, with all different age groups. He's five, but was hanging out with some older boys (8-12). I guess they were teasing each other about not having a "thing" (boy humor, I can only assume!) Someone said "I bet Matthew doesn't have one." Well, he dropped trou then and there, pointed to his boy goods and said "Look at that! I've had it for FIVE YEARS!"
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when they told me.

lol, this post is great I'm trying to think of something. I have a bad memory but it'll come to me eventually

The thing I think of always that's the funniest is when my eldest was 2 and was upstairs. I noticed the "too quiet" and went to check on him. He was on the floor in our bedroom opening packs of condoms. They were strewn all over our room, some opened and others just thrown around! We kept them in the nightstand beside the bed but always buy the economy pack. Well...that whole pack was all over! lol

These stories are killing me! I thought of another one. . .My Dh s not the biological father of my DS (but he's his Daddy for 7 years now). I was married to the sperm donor for a very short time. Anyway, this was very confusing to Cole to exlplain so he tells his Kindergarten teacher, "My Mom was married to my Dad but she had me with my other Dad." She called me laughing to tell that one! It sounded like I was married to DH but had a "love child" with "real dad". HAHAHAhAHAHA. Trust me, my life is not that interesting! Keep these stories coming!

Elle

Oh, it seems like I've had so many of those crowning moments that I should be queen of something by now! Let's see... could it be when my oldest son's picture made the newspaper....the 20 Most Wanted List? He was late paying a traffic ticket! The most recent...The police were at my front door. My 10yr old comes running in telling me I had to go outside right now! The next word I caught was police. I sent his Dad out. Figured he could handle this one. Well, it seems Hubby sent our son up to clean his room. Son needed fresh air (typical). So he went out side and was walking up and down the block, I'm sure looking for someone to come over and ask if he could play....thus getting him out of cleaning his room (theoretically)! And you know, if you're trying to "bait" a friend to play, it always helps if you have a toy. He grabbed a little toy gun and was whirling it around while he walked. Police drove by and looked at him...he thinks "Uh-oh, supposed to be cleaning my room..now I'm in trouble"..stuffs the toy gun in to his pants and takes off running for home. Needless to say, they followed and ended up on my doorstep and he got a nice lecture on toy guns! His rooms alot cleaner now, though!!

Well here's mine. My DH and I went to my 8 yr old DD's parent teacher conference when she was in 1st grade. We were talking to the teacher and she kept saying something about my DD's brother. We only have girls so we thought she was confusing us with another childs parents. No she told us that my DD told her that her 18 yr old brother took her swimming. First off I was 28 at the time. I would have had to have him when I was 10! Secondly it was February so I know she didn't go swimming anywhere. I still to this day have no clue where this came from. I asked her about it and her answer was "I don't know." So my crowning moment as a mother is to have brought up a very imaginative child. That can be good and bad depending on the situation.

One of my favorite things that my oldest ever said to someone was when we went to meet his kindergarten teacher. We live in a small community that my husband grew up in and he'd had this teacher for reading in the third grade but we had never met her. She walked in and knew who my son was right away because he looks so much like his dad, she told him that and he said "yeah, but I'm not bald." He looks so much like dad that people who knew my husband have been known to ask his teachers if his dad is who they think it is so now when they tell him that he just gets this weary tone and says "I know."

Of course a couple weeks ago I walked into the living room to see my 4 year old watching a show with his pants around his ankles playing with himself. I'm dreading him going to school.

These are so funny! Best thread ever!

I have another one from my oldest. I was pregnant with the younger one and we had gone to an appointment and got sent over for a quick ultrasound. We were in the waiting room and an older lady came and sat down, my son started telling her in great detail about the last time his grandpa had butchered a wild pig. He was talking about cutting it's toes off and taking the guts out.

I don't take the younger one out to eat much because he likes to talk about how he's eating dead animals.

when my oldest ( now 15) was 5 I left him with a sitter so I could work on a Saturday....well my son was not happy about this at all .... I get to work and about 2 hours after being there the police walk in... I thought nothing of it since it was a salon and I knew both officers...except behind one of their legs peers my child! My stomach turned...i thoguht so many awful things had happened...first thing out of my mouth was wheres the sitter! .....welll.....my son wanted something that the sitter had told him no about and decided that this was worth calling 911 about! This was a small town so everyone knew everyone! anyway i got to listen to the 911 call.....he called 911 and told them "my mom left me" ...they asked him what do you mean she left you, where did she go....he replied with " I dont know she just dropped me off and left me" they asked him are you by yourself is your Dad there? he said no...and my mom left me! ...then he said....and here is where I about DIED listening to the call WITH the police! ...he said " i gotta go before I get in real trouble for telling you about this...dont tell her ok? I'll get the spanken of my life!" and he hung up...they traced the call and went to the house...my sitter was SO PISSED OFF she refused to watch him she told the police no way was she being left with that kid!


As for the twins.....I really do my best to keep them indoors....otherwise everyday would be a "crowning mom moment" !! i could write a book with all the things those two do!

Okay I have to tell another but this was my neice who was 7 at the time. Jesse wanted to go home with a friend after school. My sister said no, it's a school day. She got to the school to pick Jesse up and saw her getting on a bus. So sister runs to the bus and tells the bus driver that she had gotten on the bus and she needed her off. Bus driver asks Jesse to come up to the front of the bus and says,"Your mother needs you off the bus." Jesse says, "That's not my Mom, I have never seen that woman before in my life". Sister had to go to the office and show id to prove she was Jesse's mother. She was beyond LIVID. She's not a spanker but Jesse got the spanking of her life! Jesse is now 17 and we still give her a hard time about it. Thought you guys might enjoy that!

Elle

Oh, these are really great!! I'm still laughing!!
I've got one to tell on my daughter. I was trying to get ready for work after getting the kids ready for school/daycare. They all come running in the bathroom yelling that the cat had caught a mouse! OK....well, leave it alone! I got an update on the situation every minute or so with the last one being that the mouse was dead. Fine, we have to go now or we're going to be late. I got everyone dropped off and went to work. I had only been there a short time when I got a call from the daycare. My daughter, who was about 4, cleared the room when she pulled a dead mouse from her pocket! They did finally manage to persuade her to dispose of her treasure...I'm sure, from a distanst!

Since this can get confusing, I'm inserting names here.

I have a 15 year old, Elise.
My granddaughter, Kelli, is 5.
Kelli calls Elise "Aunt Sissy".

When Elise was born, Elise couldn't say "Chrissy" (big sister) so she called her "Sissy", a name that stuck forever.

When CHrissy had Kelli, the name "Sissy" was kinda "passed down" from Chris to Elise and Kelli called Elise "Aunt Sissy".

So..... with that background, Kelli is now in daycare and she talks about her "Sissy". The teachers ask her about her sister. Kelli goes into a screaming fit of "IT'S NOT MY SISTER!! IT'S MY SISSY!" so mom (chris) has to go to school and explain all of this so they won't think Kelli is making up some sister-image!

Yeah, it's confusing, but WE get it!

This one is about my now 18 DS.

We live in the country and my DH and father both thought it was cute to teach DS to "pee" on a tree instead of walking back inside to use the restroom. Well when DS was about 4 Grandpa took him to his company Easter picnic. Big company (Shell Oil) so lots of people. They were standing in line to see the Easter Bunny when DS decides it's time to "go". So he runs to the nearest tree and drops his pants and goes Needless to say Grandpa was not impressed and DS did not get to see the Easter Bunny.
Funny right? It continues...Well DH and Grandpa explain to DS that you don't do that in front of people. That worked well I take DS, still 4, to local Christmas parade that year. I park in the McDonalds parking lot and start unloading kids...well DS hollers "I gotta go" and runs to the front of the car. Cann't stop him to late. He asks "why you mad mommy I did it behind the car and not in front of you." Well what he didn't notice is that I was parked in front of the window of the seating area. Yea all the people inside got a good show and some of the parents were mad because their DD's saw EVERYTHING.

Don't you just love being a MOM

Why do all of mine involve poop and reastaurants?

When dd was about6 months old, we went to the Chinese buffet with a friend of dh's that was getting married in 2 months. He had just finished telling us that he and his wife were going to try to conceive right after tey get married, when I noticed dijon mustard yellow, breast-fed baby poop on the table. We were like, where did that come from? I looked under the high chair and her teething book was under it, so I picked it up, ad laid it on the table, then realized that a big pile of doo-doo was under the high chair, and she had thrown her book on it. Before I could get it, dd had taken the book, gotten poop on herself, dh's drink, the table, and the waitress came along and was really mad at us. Meanwhile, dh's friend was gagging, he threw up in his mouth!!!! I took her to the bathroom and she barely had a skidmark. A little piece of her diaper had gotten outside her skorts, and she had pooped with such force that it shot out of her diaper and onto the floor. You know how aerodynamic breast-fed baby poop is!

Easter my oldest was talking to a cousin about spending the night and this kid said that he couldn't stay Saturday nights because he has church on Sundays. My oldest got this surprised look on his face and asked "but you don't have church on EASTER!!??" I was SO glad that my MIL and husband's aunts didn't hear this, she's already not happy that we don't take the kids to church and didn't start him in confirmation classes last fall.

I think my favorite is the day my son got tested for the gifted program in 3rd grade. The same day, I got a call from the school nurse that he had put fiberglass insulation in his pants pocket and was pretty uncomfortable in the groin area. Apparently, the "gifted' child made a pit stop in the restroom on his way back to class after the testing, and thought the little piece of insulation sticking out of a plumbing access door looked like something he needed to keep.

I'm sure I'll think of many a story to tell about my little angels! The thing that comes to mind first is the day I brought my youngest son Peyton home from the hospital. My oldest son Carter had met him at the hospital the night before, and he had been so excited that he was getting a brother. He was just under the age of 2 at the time, and I don't think he really knew what it all meant, but was excited about the hype. Anyway, we had JUST gotten inside and my husband went next door to get our mail from the neighbors, and Peyton lets out this soft little baby cry, and Carter went from smiley-happy toddler to a meltdown in .2 seconds! It scared the DAYLIGHTS out of him when that "toy" started screaming! I didnt know what to do, it was so funny to me. So my husband comes inside to find both kids crying their heads off and me laughing so hard I'm crying hysterically. He didnt know what in the world was going on and I could hardly explain because I was laughing so hard. That was my first real experience with handling them both at the same time and it was so hilarious. (Maybe you had to be there, but we still laugh thinking about it!)

One more.... not funny like the first, but taught me a lesson!

My husband went out to get takeout one night when the baby was about a month old, and I decided to put our oldest in bed while he was gone. He was in a big-boy bed, and his room is right at the top of the stairs, so to keep him safe and make sure he doesnt open his door in the middle of the night and fall down the stairs --and so that he cant lock himself in--, we turned his doorknob around so that the lock is on the outside. So I put the baby into the baby papasan chair. I was just going to be a minute so I took the oldest and ran him up to his room and pulled back his covers to get him in bed, when he runs across the room and shuts the door. Well, I didnt think anything of it until I tried to open that door. I guess he turned the lock before he closed it because we were locked in. Here we are on the second floor, I have no way to get anything into the lock hole to jimmie it open because I had child proofed the room to the point of not even having metal hangers for the clothes. I ended up ripping one of the hinges out of the door trying to take it off to get out. (Did I mention about that time the baby started screaming his head off?!) I couldnt get the bottom hinge out because of course, when I snatched the top one out all the weight fell on the bottom one... FINALLY (by finally I mean about 15 minutes but it felt like hours!!) my husband got home with the takeout, I open Carter's window and start screaming. What I was TRYING to say was "The baby is downstairs in the papasan, we are locked up here, and he's been crying and I just cant get to him" ...what I actually said, I have NO idea but my husband threw the takeout on the ground and ran into the house. The baby was fine. He just wanted someone to pick him up. I didnt really think how it would look for me to scream I was locked upstairs and something about the baby, while sobbing and screaming out the window. I cant even imagine what my husband must have thought looking back now. I know I didnt put that baby down for almost an hour afterwards! And poor Carter, I was crying, and he had only JUST turned two, and he just kept telling me the whole ordeal, "It all wight mama, it otay. Not cwy, it otay. Peyn be all wight." (He couldnt say Peyton, so he called him Peyn, pronounced "pain" LOL) Carter didnt get in trouble because it wasnt his little fault. Taught me a MAJOR lesson though, and now all the rooms in the house have those little master key things so that I can get to them if I need to!!

I probably have a million. Here is the first that comes to mind. One busy day after dropping my oldest dd at school, I went shopping with the younger two and later picked up dd from school. We arrived home late that afternoon tired and hot. I took my 4-yr-old ds to the tub for a bath and as I undressed him found he had both legs in one hole of his underwear. He must have redressed himself that morning after using the bathroom (he used to pull all of his clothes off). He had walked to sis's class twice, walked all of Walmart and a couple other stores and never once complained(or asked to go to the bathroom for that matter). You think I would have noticed a little penguin waddle or something. I didn't have a clue!

My daughter figured out at like 15 mos. that all you have to do is hit the doorknob cover at the right angle and it will pop right off. She was 2 houses away in the snow, wearing just a diaper, before I caught her!

A true Boy Scout tale: Three scouts wanted to see what was down the hole in the outhouse at camp. When they pointed the flashlight downwards and turned it on, they were so grossed out they dropped the flashlight. The owner of the flashlight declares that his dad will kill him if he doesn't come home with the flashlight. So he has his friends lower him down to retrieve the flashlight. The scoutmaster (my cousin) was not amused when this scout came back to camp! How's that for a poop story!