Am I the only one that has to pay my MIL to babysit my children? Background: She has been out of a job for about 2 years. When unemployment ran out she said that she would go get a job in retail; Walmart, Meiyer, etc. She has yet to go fill out an application (that was 10 months ago). I have had it tonight. She stands there whining to me on how they have no money and she can't find a job (course that requires you apply and go on interviews) then asks me for money. OH yeah and now she is supporting her step-daughter. I think my husband is even fed up with her, mainly because she isn't willing to improve their situation. How do I tell her no?
Sorry if I'm not understanding... you don't want to pay her to babysit your kids, or you don't want to give her money in general?
I would suggest that if you have any alternatives at all, don't have her babysit. Is this babysitting on a regular basis, or like just on Saturday night so you and DH can catch a movie? I can kind of see her point if she's providing babysitting on a daily basis, but if it's just occasional, isn't that what grandparents do?? I know my parents and FIL can't wait to get their claws into my kids for an occasional weekend night!
I'm with shelburne. If she's doing the sitting for on a daily basis while you're at work, then I'd pay her. That's a full time job plus the cost of the food to feed them for a whole week .... and if her money is tight, that can add up.
As a gramma, I'd never accept money for keeping my grandchildren once in awhile. Heck, my daughter and husband went to Cancun and I kept the granddaughter for a whole week and never expected any pay! (although 9 months later, I DID get another grandchild!!!) 
I asked my MIL to watch our son when he was first born and she said NO I'm sick of kids so I never asked her again. I on the other hand have watched my grandson a gazillion times and he is just turned five.
The first year he was born my son was laid off and them being so young they camped out here. I had a talk with him and said his father and I needed a life and they started to not come over quite so much. 
I watch my grandson overnight almost every weekend "if I want to" and sometimes I take him during the week once or twice now.
He is my joy. I have never asked for money and never will. My son has given me a $20 twice by laying it on the table even though I say no.
NOW if my DIL was working full time and she needed a babysitter all the time I would say no paid or not paid. I want to have a life on the Harley with my husband.
Susie
I use a regular day care which costs and arm and a leg. She only watches the kids on a rare occasion, usually when my husband has to travel and I have cake class. I guess it just blows me away that I have to pay a Grandma to babysit her own grandchildren. Then when she said all those woe is me comments I had enough. I didn't mind helping her out at first but now she isn't doing anything to get out of her situation.
I know that my MIL would never watch my kids full time but she babysits when we go out.
She isn't a baby person but now that my youngest is a little older (4) she invites them over at least once a week for no reason. It's kind of nice to have quiet sometimes but it's been only the last few months.
Yesterday they took the little one with them to drop cows off and he wanted to go back and watch the sale so I'm childless until this afternoon since my oldest is in school.
I think you're totally justified. Charging to watch your grandchild on an occasional basis is not right, in my opinion. If she were doing anything to get out of her situation, I'd have more sympathy for her but to expect others to carry her burden is just plain wrong. Do you have an alternative on cake nights? Because if you do, you should keep yourself from ever being in a position of accepting anything from her until she gets her priorities in order.
Unfortunatly, cake classes are on Wednesday night. Only three more classes and then i'm done for a while. My husband is usually very good about being home for me but he got a call that he has to go to Detroit last night.
If my mom had been available she would have come. She is self employed, Wedding Coordinator/seamstress/cake baker. And she had a client last night.
yeah I dont think you should pay for the occassional sitting of your kiddos but like others have said if it had been full time than I think you should. I honestly would never feel right asking either my mom or my MIL to watch my son anymore than once a month (and my MIL is out of town so I have never asked her... and my Mom lives really close, but she has probably watched him 2 times in his whole 2 1/2 years) My Mom has raised her kids and has NO interest in raising her grandkids. Its not that she doesnt love them, she is really a great grandma, but she just wants to be that a Grandma! I have a friend who is using her Step-Mom to watch her two children (a 4 yr old and a newborn) full time and for free...........no way could I ever do that (even if said person said she wanted to)........ because I would feel like I was robbing her retirement years.
My advice.......Always remember how you feel right now, cause you your children will be in your shoes one day.
I always thought my parents would act a certain way when they had grandchildren, turns out they are completely different from what anyone would have thought!
Plan to be a great grandparent!
It's unfortunate, but that is her current situation. She needs money and she sees that as a way of getting it. If someone else had to watch them you would have to pay them also. I know you shouldn't have to pay her because those are her grandchildren, but currently she is unemployed (whatever the reasons are) and she does need to earn some money too. Look at it this way, at least you can help her. Next time ask her can you watch the kids, I'll give you xx. Make sure though, if she is getting paid to do it she better be on her p's and q's, just like anyone else you would pay.
Sorry your going through this. Since my mom passed, no one looks after my children like she did. Whatever, whenever we needed her to do, she did. No problem. It's more than I can say about the other side. Even if we paid her, she wouldn't. Good Luck and try not to take it personal. (((Sending hugs to you)))
Taking care of kids is a stressful and huge job, especially when they are not your kids. I think your MIL should be paid for taking care of your kids. If you are going to have these kids you need to take care of them or pay someone else to - no free rides!
My mother and MIL get a little jealous if the other one gets to keep my son more. Sometimes when my mom calls and asks what my son is doing, I hate to tell her that he's not here. She tells everyone that I will not let her keep him overnight. He's just 2 1/2. I am a SAHM. I would never think of paying them. My mom's plant closed, but she would never accept money from us. My MIL told me this summer that she wanted to keep him more than she did last year. I have a really close relationship with my MIL.
If you don't want to pay her and that's the way she is, then don't have her keep your kids. My parents loved to keep the kids overnight once a week for free, but due to health reasons they can barely take care of themselves now. My in-laws are fantastic. They are in their mid 70s and very active. They volunteer to spend some time once a week with the kids and usually have them overnight on weekends. On occasion, I do have to ask them to take the kids because I have a doctor's appointment or something and there is never any discussion of money. If I know the kids are going to the movies or something, I will slip the kids some money in their pockets. My in-laws never ask for it, but I don't want them to think they are being taken for granted either. My husband tells me that that isn't necessary, because they took the other grandkids places for free. That may be true, but I like to do what I feel is right. Anyway, if I asked them to babysit and they wanted pay then I would pay them.
Taking care of kids is a stressful and huge job, especially when they are not your kids. I think your MIL should be paid for taking care of your kids. If you are going to have these kids you need to take care of them or pay someone else to - no free rides!
I guess it really depends on your family dynamics and relationships.
In my family, you help family. If the person in question has good intentions and is doing what they can to help themselves, then you all pitch in if you can. When my husband's grandma needed help and couldn't take care of herself, everyone pitched in. I would watch her one day a week all the while very pregnant myself, and then with a newborn. When my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were trying to figure out childcare and how to swing it, I watched my nephew two days a week for two years. When my father-in-law came upon hard times and couldn't swing his mortgage, we pitched in. We're still paying it.
We have lots of nieces and nephews and we're always babysitting someone. And likewise, if we need a sitter, we can usually find someone in the family happy to do it. My best babysitter is my sister-in-law who doesn't even have kids yet. She doesn't expect to get paid, just wants to help out a family member.
I realize that I am part of an extremely unique family, and I am so thankful for that. But family helps family.
I do understand those who have said that if you're looking for a sitter on a regular basis, then you should compensate. It is a lot to ask on a weekly basis (though that's not the case with this initial post) so in those cases, you come to terms. And some grandparents / in-laws / relatives don't enjoy babysitting. They shouldn't be expected to if they don't like to do it. But I can't imagine resenting spending time with any one of my nieces / nephews.
If your MIL were doing everything she could to get ahead and still needed help, then by all means I'd understand that. But it sounds like she has known for a long time that she'd need to line up work and she failed to do so. She tries to guilt you into helping when she's not willing to help herself. That's not fair.
Like I said earlier, if it were me, I'd probably stop asking her to babysit. Anyone who was keeping tabs and wanting to be owed for helping out a family member in good faith, well, I wouldn't want any part of that.
I don't mean to be harsh, I just think that as a society, we've stopped going out of our way for others and it really shows.
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