I know that I am setting a bad example for my girls. I want my girls to grow up to be strong women that can just say no. Hopefully they will take after their dad, he has no problem saying no except to me; hehe. Azeboi2005, thank you for your compliments.

holy buckets! i wish i could have some of you girls here when i get a call for a cake! -from ANYONE! i've dug my self quite a hole with the charging WAY too little or nothing at all! i need to print off this thread and hang it in my kitchen! tomorrow i'm doing a cake and 24 cupcakes for $35. i'm hanging my head in shame!
still, i'm laughing at the responses. i am SOOOO doing the list thing for my next family phone call.

Easy answer....tell them you just had someone call who ordered a cake for the same day that your family needed one and you won't have time to make you uncle's/brother's/aunt's dog's, etc. cake. If they give you a hard time, I'd let them know that since you are relatively new to this, you need the money to put back into supplies and that paying customers get preferential treatment.

If they ask again for a free cake and you cave and agree, I'd call them back and pull the, "OH, I forgot that I already had someone order a cake for that day! I won't have time to make your cake." If they pay for it it's one thing, but to expect a cake all the time, not good.

I'd rather not make a cake than pay for supplies for a cake that people think they are entitled to. Especially for someone that you don't really like!

Now I just need to get myself to take the same advice!

All joking aside, indy said exactly what needed to be said. I have seen a huge change in my children since I stood up and walked away from a bad relationship. THEY are more confident and well adjusted. Why? Because I am. We lead by example.

I'm going to suggest you call your niece's mother back and say you've thought it through and won't do it after all. (The word is WON'T.. not CAN'T too.. won't means unwilling.. can't means circumstances prevent)

It will be one of the hardest things you've ever done. The first time standing up for yourself is. Have your husband sitting there next to you while you do it so you don't back down. When you hang up, the weight will be lifted, and you won't spend the next however many days leading up to the cake mad at yourself for NOT doing this very thing.

Be honest, if she asks why. You have gotten wonderful advise from experienced (older!! like me) women. We've done the time, paid the price, learn from us.

{{{{understanding hugs and a stern look to get you on the right path}}}}}

I love to decorate cakes and I make them for free all the time; typically for every free cake I have given away I usually get a paid order with it. But that sister-in-law always wants people to help and do for her, but never wants to help anybody. I know its always good to help but when does it stop?I want to thank everyone for their advise and help, and thanks for looking at all of my pictures.

My mom always used a line when my brother or I was bugging her for something, and it went like this..."What part of NO do you not understand, the "N" or the "O" part?" I now use this line with my own kids, my husband, telemarketers, and, yes, my mom! Use it with your family!

bncncnmn,

GIRL FRIEND LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU.

YOU DON'T LIKE THIS DUDE WELL THAT IS NO NO NO. SO WHAT IF THEY THINK THAT YOUR EVIL. THEY ARE NOT DOING NOTHING FOR YOU KNOW HE PROBABLY NEVER DID NOTHING NICE FOR YOU FOR HELL WITH THIS DUDE. I AM SORRY IF I AM TO BLUNT BUT IF YOU START WITH THIS KNOW IT WILL NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR FINISHT TRUST ME.

IS BETTER TO PUT A STOP TO THIS LITTLE FIASCO KNOW THAN LATER. TRUST ME YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SOMETIMES NICE TO PEOPLE ANS STOP FASTER TO PEOPLE YOU DON;T EVEN LIKE.

MICHELLE

Okay, had my own pitty party all day thinking that I was not good enough since I have only had a few people ask for cakes at cost. My husband came home from work, and a coworker ordered a cake for Sunday, and tonight someone called and wanted me to make a cake for a cake auction; both will be paying me. Told sister-in-law I could not make make her cake, and decided I was going to make me a price sheet, and what is on it will be what I charge. My new moto will be what hollypj said: " If I offer, it's free, if you ask, you pay." Should be everyone's moto. Thanks again for everyone's help, I love this site, and spend way too much time on here!lol.

Good for you! I bet you will feel so much better when you can just hand someone your price list and not feel like you're getting taken advantage of!

Glad you got out of that one. I was going to say just have your husband call and tell them that he already told them the cake would be $35 upfront and he would be over to collect the money before you start baking.

So far I have had only one lady order a cake, and the day she comes to pick it up, waits till I give her the cake, and then said can't pay you today will catch you payday. Since it was one of my husband's bosses I said that would be fine. A month later she still would not pay me,and finally my husband went to her husband and I got my money that night. So now if I know they don't pay I just tell them I'm busy; I think I will keep my husband around, he is pretty handy.lol

I have done nearly all of my cakes for free...I have gotten cards with giftcards as thanks though....
But I think there are plenty of people here that can help with that last post too....people not paying... Should orders for ALL types of cakes have a deposit and balance due date?? Or does it depend on the number of servings???

glad to see that your backbone has grown in. good for you!

I was going to suggest that since she only wants to pay for supplies that you buy her a box of mix, a tub of frosting and a box of eggs and deliver it.
If she only wants to pay for the ingrediants then that is what she gets.

mommachris

In the future - Money in the right hand before cake leaves the left hand.
Good 'backbone growing', lady!

I am so proud and happy for you!! Big supportive hugs coming at you!!