I am upset. Why is it that "friends" act like what we do is a hobby and not take it seriously?

I made a cake for a really good friend of my mothers (and a friend of mine) for a baby shower they were giving. It was a 12" round WASC w/raspberry jam filling covered in BC with fondant decorations and a gumpaste loop bow. I even delivered it for free because she was running late getting ready for the shower.

When I got there she took the cake and thought it was "nice" and said how much do I owe you? I told her I was giving her a discount, that I would usually charge 60.00 but for her it would only be 40.00. I really feel it was reasonable. She said ok, I will put you a check in the mail. I was so shocked I really didn't reply and she just walked away. I was in a hurry for an appointment so I just left. I know, I should have confronted her then but I think I was in shock.

I really don't want to confront the issue with her now, even if the check isn't "in the mail". If it isn't it will be the only cake she gets from me.

I guess I just need to vent... Thanks for listening!

Do you think that I was asking too much for the cake? I will post a picture if I can!

Here goes... Thanks!!! Amy

I know what your going through!! I started giving discounts for close friends and family when I started. Let me just tell you now....LEARN FROM THIS MISTAKE!! The people you discount for will constantly find reasons for you to do a cake and then expect the same discount everytime. Next thing you know you'll be hearing sob stories about how they can't even afford the discounted price and can they pay you later....only later NEVER COMES!! This has happen to me not once but twice!! Once for a friend and once for a family member. You lock yourself in to always discounting for them whether that was your intention or not. I've had to do two free cakes...one for each person mentioned above because after I've finished the cake (and sometimes showed up for delivery) I find out they can't pay me but because we're close they don't see it as a big deal. My DH has since put down his foot and said that if it were to happen again we will just take the cakes and leave. Let them explain why there isn't a cake. We will just donate it somewhere where at least it can be a tax write-off and not the total loss it would otherwise have been.
I don't think you charged too much for you cake but I think the only people who truly appreciate the time and cost involved in making a cake are other decorators and perhaps their immediate families.
For the kitten cake in my pics I only got $40 because it was for one of the people mentioned above. I heard the same 'ole same 'ole about payment and I simply said..."Pay me what you can...the rest is her gift". They tried getting me to do the whole thing as her gift but a 6 yr old doesn't understand that. It's not like you can say..."sorry honey your mommy and daddy can't afford to pay for your cake so I'm gonna let you have it as your birthday gift" It just turns into a mess!
I'm sorry this happen to you but we all have growing pains. Hopefully the check is really in the mail and maybe she'll give you a tad more after she hears all the oohs and ahhhs from her guests!

No, I think your price was fiar. BTW, great cake. Your bow is amazing!!! I sometimes feel bad about how much I charge people for my cakes. Because I live in a small town where you can pretty much only get cakes from Wal Mart and Food Lion, people are used to those prices. I try to explain to them that my cakes are VERY different from those and take a whole lot more time to do than those types of cakes. I explain to them that they are being charges for my time. The more detailed the cake, the more time it takes to do them, therefore, more money!!! If they don't like the price, they don't come back. However, I have ALOT of repeat customers, which leads me to believe that they don't mind paying a little more for a "custom cake" . People that complain just need to keep getting their cakes from WalMart or some other place where they are more comfortable with that price. I also tell my customers that I can make a cake fit any budget. I ask them about how much they want to spend on the cake, and I'll make a cake that will fit that amount. Then everyone is happy. Just mark this as a lesson learned and keep on doing what you do! Your doing a great job!!!

Thanks for the replies. I just feel I have to charge that much or my time is worth nothing. It takes a long time to do what we do. All those extras take a lot of work.

First, I have been there with friends/family and I know it can be hard.

As for your price even $60 is a great deal.

A 12" cake that is 4" tall I have will serve 52 people (1"x2"x4" servings) So my price per serving for this cake w/filling and fondant would be $2.75/serving, add on the bow and the total comes to $163.00 before delivery. So she got an awesome deal!

that is a beautifully done cake, and you are an artist/craftsperson/artisan, whatever you want to call it, and a hand made cake for $40 is a super deal. people will always take advantage if you let them. basically, you need to approach it as if you are a professional (even if it is just a hobby) and charge accordingly, give her an invoice, or whatever you need to do to at least cover your supplies investment. if a friend asks you to make her a cake in her "budget", bring her a cupcake!!!

Wow Georgeous cake, so sorry it was not appreciated off the bat.

I am sure that the people at the shower will appreciate it.

I say if there is no payement then there is no more cake for this person.

If we are asked to make a cake, we should expect payment for our ingredients and efforts.

If we choose to make a cake and donate it because we are going to be present that is our choice. Not theirs. I often bake a cake as a gift and it works for me. But I tell you what, when it becomes expected or not well received that will be my last gift cake for that person.

Good Luck.

I don't think you should say anything, just learn your lesson. Next time, treat her like any other customer.

More importantly, your cake is precious. I'm going to search for it and put it in my favorites.

If I'm expecting payment for a cake from someone I feel like it should be known upfront what I expect. Otherwise, they are shocked by what they're asked to pay.

If I'm too expensive they have options. They can buy it from another baker, buy from a grocery store or make it themselves. I'm not going to feel bad for charging what I need to for a cake just because they're used to certain prices. If I get taken advantage of it's because I let them do it.

(Not trying to make you feel bad, just stating how I handle it. I've been taken advantage of before and I didn't like it. They won't change so I had to. )

Sorry to hear about your experience, but I totally know where you're coming from I always get a sob story andI always end up losing, I just have to earn to say NO and stick to my guns. But I think I am to OLD to learn new tricks. Your cake is really pretty, and YES she did get a good deal. Hope all goes well.

hmmm...well, when I get the $40 that I am owed for a cake that I did in JUNE, I'll be able to give you some advice. haha. The girl that owes me even had the NERVE to lower the price herself to $30 and then proceeded to tell me that as long as she owes me, I'll never be broke!!! That's okay...I wonder how she's going to feel when she has to pay me a week prior...even for a simple bday cake! Sorry..sore spot. She was wrong, your price was great, and the cake is BEAUTIFUL! Good job to you...I really hope the check IS in the mail.

Has it been a long time since you dropped off the cake? I think I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she really is going to pay you. Who knows, maybe she had asked your mom if you'd take a check, and myabe your mom said it woud be okay. (Not to slight your mom in anyway.) That kind of stuff happens to me all the time. People go through my mother instead of coming straight to me, and Oy!, the business deals she makes! It doesn't sound like there was any evil intent, though she should have ASKED if a check was okay first. Hope you hear from her soon.

Mickig

For future reference when someone asks if its okay if they mail you a check tell them "That's okay- I will wait for you to fill it out and save you the stamp." Notice I said will not can! Hope it all works out.

Beautiiful cake btw!

Your cake is beautiful and I hope you receive your money.

My family does this ALL this time. They ask how much they owe me and I give them the amount (which is only ingredients) and I NEVER get paid. I certainly hope this woman isn't like them. Good luck!!!

I know that she didn't talk to my mom about it because my mom was shocked that she didn't pay me. It is hard for me to treat close friends/family like a "business transaction" but I guess I will just have to toughen up because some people will definately take advantage.

If she had asked me ahead of time if it would be o.k. if she "mailed a check" because she needed to collect from the other shower givers or whatever I probably wouldn't be so upset but to just assume was irritating. I just feel like I am not being treated fairly.

Well, lesson learned.

Thanks for all the compliments on my cake. It was the 3rd one I had to do this weekend and I stayed up until 3AM working on it. I am still new so every comment and suggestion means so much. I hope to progress with every cake.

There is so much talent on here and I learn from you all. Thank You!!!

I can't figure out if I'm pretty lucky that my family hasn't taken advantage of my generousity, or if they are afraid to try because I'm the family b*tch.

I do wedding cakes as my gift and I do the catering for the cost of the food/supplies for my nieces/nephews. All have been very appreciative and no bridezillas/groomzillas in the lot!

My back-up phrase, though, if it ever got to that point:

"If you have a problem, you can always ask for your money back. OH WAIT! You didn't PAY any money, did you?"

I stand with indydebi...People are idiots...
and I hate to say it...we be they.

Amy, didn't anyone mention a price before you delivered the cake so that the woman could have the check ready?
Probably not or you wouldn't be venting, would you?

As you can see, if I paid attention to my own previous paragraph
I would know I'd be asking "idiot" questions... =P

This kind of thing has happened to me and I have found out that if you want your "family and friends" to take your business seriously,
don't discount to them.
Not if they whine and cry or threaten to throw themselves off your roof...don't do it. EVER!!!

If they find your prices to high then they can march themselves
over to Costco , Wal-mart, or the-day-ol'-bakery bin or
whatever is closer and get a "delightful spectacle to tantilize the taste buds" from that establishment.
Then they will have the same cake that 30 million other people purchased and are enjoying that day.

They don't get any of the one-of-a-kind handmade sculptural "cake-art" masterpieces that you (or any one of us for that matter) make with exacting precision.

Do any of those stores make the frosting match the napkins of the event exactly?...doubt it
Will those stores figure out how to make Dr. Suess trees stand up off the cake and make 'em eatible?
Maybe, if you like to eat plastic (now you might get lead poisoning because it all comes from China!)

Get my point Amy...don't discount to anyone. You are worth the price you charge. How ever you figure that price. You have a family to support and your clients who ever they are can pay for your work.

This is how my "business friend" put it to me once. And once is all I needed... Your clients can pay you now for something they will enjoy or they can pay you later, for something they will NOT enjoy (she meant welfare!) Since then I don't feel bad about what I charge for a cake because the client has an option and I have other clients.

I would love someone to help me figure out how to do pricing by the slice. I charge them for the supplies and then my time to decorate so that would be by the hours =D They don't seem to have a problem with that.

So Amy, from my ramblings take what you can use and leave the rest!!
have a splendid day sweetpea!!
Ronni

It's in this type of business, you find out who your true and dearest friends are...........she is not a true friend if she thinks you can do it for nothing, or an IOU.........one of my dearest friends is my hairdresser, and I cannot imagine leaving her salon without paying her in full AND leaving her a 20% tip..........you have bills to pay, your friends should not take advantage of you............that is an absolutley beautiful cake by the way, and you gave her a great bargain.........I really hope that her check shows up in the mail for you..............indydeb.......you crack me up!

Chrissysconfections -

You charge your family members?!?!?!?!

I never would think of charging family. Hmmmm.

You are so funny indydebi!!!

I am feeling better. I was hoping that I had not overpriced the cake. I really felt like 40.00 for that much cake and that much WORK was a good deal.

Why do freinds take advantage? because we let them. Took me 56 years to learn to say Yes when I felt like doing a favor and NO when I didn't and to get payment up front, cash no checks for cakes!!!

Amy-

Your cake was beautiful (I adore those precious little feet!)
and for $40 it was QUITE a bargain!
Your friend, however, is a schmuck. With friends like that, who needs in-laws! lol
Here's hoping the check is in the mail!

Maybe confront was the wrong word. I really didn't know what to say. When she was asking about pricing and servings I told her to look at my web site. I should have confirmed the amount with her, & I did give her 20.00 off, (she didn't know I was going to give her a discount until I delivered it). I don't think she would go to Kroger or wherever and get a cake and tell them the checks in the mail.

Like I said, I am new at this and will definately be more clear with "friends" in the future.

[/quote]

what did you want to "confront" her aout? had you told her the price ahead of time an that you expected payment at the time of delivery? It doesnt' sound like it unless you left some info off. Maybe she just didn't have cash and didn't realize you wanted payment at that time. She shouldn't assume, but neither should you. You should have told her ahead of time what YOUR expectations were.[/quote]



She didn't have to pay with cash. If she was going to send a check why not write one now. Any other place would expect payment at the time of service.

WOW, your cake is beautiful.
And YES, I totally know exactly what you mean...I guess next time, just make it clear when you expect the payment.

I just did a wedding and I didn't get paid until the ACTUAL day of the wedding.
But if I hadn't confronted my friend about it, she probably would've sent me a check after the actual wedding.

Cute cake.

people will only take advantage of your if you LET them.