melysa Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 7:37pm
post #1 of

wow.

i have a wedding cake for october. the cake flavor was requested, so i found a recipe and gave her a sample cake. she liked the cake but chose a different filling/icing. this weekend i made the cake combination for a mutual aquaintances birthday. the bride was out of town so not there, i emailed her today and told her that i made the cake (I WAS PRACTICING!!!) and it turned out great. THINKING that she would be happy to hear that. her response was a little confusing, so i emailed back and apologized, thinking that would do it.

well, she got deeply offended and now wants to change the wedding cake. she said she's been crying since i told her (WHAT???) and has even considered cancelling the wedding because she is losing all the little details that are important to her. she doesnt want her wedding cake to be remembered as a copy of a birthday cake. HUH? icon_confused.gif

this is an aquaintance, but i have NO IDEA at this point how to respond. come on, i bake ALL THE TIME. is there some sort of ettiquite that i am missing out on? should each bride have a patent on THEIR cake flavor? wow- set me straight here. i am really frustrated.

i'm also supposed to make her shower cake this weekend. things have been purchased, (i have been paid) and i need to make things in advance ...as in now...(gumpaste). argh. am i supposed to sit around and wait for her to get over this to know if i continue with the cake? thumbsdown.gif

272 replies
CakeDiva73 Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 7:55pm
post #2 of

Ironically I am watching Bridezillas on WE right now...sounds about right! I would go ahead with the making of the shower cake as ordered and paid for......it's too late for her to change her mind and cancel. Sounds like she is stressed and freaking out because that is an off thing to consider cancelling your wedding over icon_confused.gif

Perhaps take it with a grain of salt....and advise her to build a bridge - AND GET OVER IT!! icon_lol.gif

Doug Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 7:59pm
post #3 of

no...you've haven't done wrong

you've encountered the "i am the center of and source of all life and things in the universe" version of the bridezilla.

the "i'm soooooooo special -- no one can be like me or have anything like mine" bridezilla

(hmm and are her clothes custom made? her car?
are her wedding invitations hand made originals or stock design, etc.???)

really now -- what, you have to use that recipe once and then tear it up never to be used again???

and like, how many at the b-day party will be at the wedding?? and who's to know unless little miss pissypants/weep-a-lot tells them?

oh PUH-LEEEEEEEZE!!! get over yourself little bride.

of course we practice flavor combos, of course we make tasting samples -- some even called b-day cakes.

this is one that if she cancels --- good riddance!!

CranberryClo Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:07pm
post #4 of

She's crying over this? Cancelling the wedding?!??!

My goodness. She must not have TV, radio, internet or any news magazine subscriptions. There's a lot to cry about in the news lately, someone baking a cake isn't one of them - no matter the circumstances that surround it.

Hurrah to her fiance for (presumably) being her port in the storm. She seems to need one pretty badly.

And courage to you if she calms back down - I think you should let her know that you don't do baby shower cakes, kids birthday cakes, etc. Three years from now you won't be able to make chocolate, vanilla, marble, strawberry, lemon, etc. cakes. She's going to cake you out of business!

Christy

Babarooskie Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:09pm
post #5 of

Ask her if she wants some cheese with the WHINE!

When a client asks for a "new recipe" I always practice. Just explain to the pain in the you-know-where that you want everything perfect for her wedding. And that unfortunately, she was out of town and unable to taste the product. Also explain that you do sample tasting for EVERYONE. I'm sure a birthday isn't going to be anything like the wedding...

You have like what, 20-something people at the birthday party and 100-something people at the wedding. Think about it - where would you get better compliments, comments, etc?
DUH!

cococakes Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:11pm
post #6 of

Doug I love your sense of humor. icon_lol.gif

Does the bride think that once a cake decorator/baker makes a cake they rip up the recipe and create a new one for another person??? She really needs to get a personality.

I agree with everyone, continue as planned for the bridal shower cake and hopefully her family puts her in place before the wedding.

cakebabe Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:11pm
post #7 of

The only thing I could see as offensive ( and I don't get it still, but) Maybe she thinks that you made a complete mock up design and all of her cake. As I understand it you just tried out the flavors? Maybe she needs to be enlightened and the slappedicon_biggrin.gif LOL

HollyPJ Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:12pm
post #8 of

It sounds to me like she thinks you made the birthday cake LOOK like her wedding cake, too.

I would e-mail her again and clarify that you were just testing the cake/filling/icing combo to make sure it was perfect before her big day and that you did not, in fact, give your friend a replica of her wedding cake.

ladefly Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:12pm
post #9 of

sounds ike she needs a good stiff drink !!!!!!
it is not you, just her.

spongemomsweatpants Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug



you've encountered the "i am the center of and source of all life and things in the universe" version of the bridezilla.




icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
Ok I love that...too funny.
Umm did she honestly say to you that she was going to cancle her wedding OVER A CAKE??!!?? icon_confused.gif
If she is so quick to toss out a realtionship with a man she is getting ready to vow the rest of her life to over a cake then she should cancle (if anyone would cancle it should be HIM, boyfriend needs to run as fast as his legs can carry him)...what a twit thumbsdown.gif

You did nothing wrong. We had something like this happen once. My hubby was his best friends best man, as such he took him out for his batchelors party, which of course included a stop by the strip joint..no big deal. Well this poor unfortuante guys future wife calls ME up at 6 the next morning telling me that I am married to a pig and that his actions have brought disgrace to her and her family, becasue after all we didn't know WHO her family was and how important they were icon_rolleyes.gif and that the wedding was off!! icon_lol.gif
I was like "umm ok icon_confused.gif I'll let my hubby know"
So when he woke up I asked him what the heck happened, did he buy his buddy a hooker or what?? icon_lol.gif (if you knew my hubby you'd know how rediclious that very notion is). He said to me.." this chic is a nut, we went to the strip joint (which is just a topless deal) then we went and played pool at ...( a local club that we all used to hang at) tell her to call... (the owners of the club, who was friends of ours) and ask them."
So the moral to this story is...you DO NOT have to feel bad because some little girl just realized that is not in fact the epicenter of the universe. thumbs_up.gif If anyone should feel bad it should be this poor sap that is getting ready to marry this nightmare icon_rolleyes.gif

Lalana Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:13pm

Maybe you should tell us the flavor combo and then you can take a poll to see how many of us have done it before. Then you can inform the bridezilla that it's not HER flavor combo, it's been done X amt of times by various decorators all over the world.

mbelgard Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyPJ

It sounds to me like she thinks you made the birthday cake LOOK like her wedding cake, too.




It's possible, I didn't read to closely the first time through and wasn't sure what was meant. If that isn't the case than the woman has a problem if she thinks that her flavor combo should be just for her wedding. icon_rolleyes.gif

thecupcakemom Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:16pm

It sounds like she's going to make a great EX-wife.... icon_lol.gif

darcat Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:18pm

I dont find that you did anything wrong, I do admit though that I kind of feel sorry for her. She sounds like she is stressed to the max and that there may be other underlying cercumstances that have nothing to do with your cake. When I got married the first time (lol yes I've been married more than once) anyhooo for my first wedding I was so broke and was having such a simple ceremony at the church that when I bought my wedding dress it was just a very lovely pink dress but bought with the idea that I would be able to wear it for work, later on I broke down and cried when my mom was showing it to all my sisters. icon_cry.gif The reason I was upset was that I had so few things weddingish (if thats a word lol) that I wanted to have at least a few things that no one had seen but after a day or so of thinking I realized that I was being a baby. So who knows what this poor woman's situation is. There good be a momzilla hiding in the background and the cake is the only thing the bride is allowed to pick lol. Just give her a few days and she'll get over it.

Dawncurby Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:18pm

Hi,
I would NOT WORRY about the bride..I agree with the other person..maybe she thought you made a mini version of the cake, not jsut the flavor combo. Beside that, don't think twice about it. If she says that the cake is one of the things that "might" make her cancel the wedding, then something else is up and she is just looking for an excuse. Make the shower cake and then if she cancel's the wedding cake then you are proably better off not dealing with her anyway.

Dee

emilykakes Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:20pm

Not that your bride isn't over reacting regardless, but is it possible that she thinks you actually made a version of her wedding cake for the birthday cake?

ccr03 Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:21pm

I'm sure she probably think you meant the design. If she didn't, I would tell her that you apologize she's upset, but you wanted to make sure the cake recipe was perfect for her cake.

melysa Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:24pm

oh man! this is killin' me!!! icon_confused.gif

she KNOWS the cake did not look like hers, because i sent her a photo at the same time.

the bridal shower cake is also a flavor i've made for many others before...dare i mention that?

she didnt mention cancelling the wedding ONLY because of the cake flavor. lots of little things...that must not be going her way have added up.

i have half a mind to give her back her money less what Ive already spent and just say GOOD LUCK FINDING SOMEONE ELSE TO DO A RON BEN ISRAEL CAKE AND AN EDITH MEYERS CAKE FOR THIS PRICE, FOR THESE FLAVORS , ANYWHERE ELSE! no more games.

http://www.wedlok.com/uploads/weddingcake.jpg (same style, different design for 75. $3 serving, banana brown sugar cake with strawberry imbc, fresh roses, chocolate dipped monogram strawberries, satin ice fondant and gumpaste bows painted in luster dust!)

http://www.edithmeyer.com/emilys.htm (different colors, gumpaste flowers, $4 serving, amaretto cake with espresso imbc with fondant)

elvisb Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:24pm

Does she think that once you make her cake you'll burn the recipe so you can't ever use it for anyone else? That's such a trivial thing for her to be upset about. Now, if she supplied the recipe and it were Granny's secret recipe that came over on the Mayflower and it's just supposed to be used for family and she has you fingerprinted and background checked and you sign a contract with the CIA never to use it again..........Good grief, hun!!

No ettiquette rules broken here that I can see--from you anyway! Good luck with her!

lorabelle Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:24pm

God help the husband if this is what she does over a cake!

darcat Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:27pm

sorry shud have read "there could be a momzilla" lol

There good be a momzilla hiding in the background and the cake is the only thing the bride is allowed to pick lol. Just give her a few days and she'll get over it.

tiptop57 Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:27pm

Naw Melysa it wasn't what you did it was how you communicated it. Your email confused her. She thought you made her EXACT cake for a birthday. Pick up the phone and call her. Sometimes people don't understand texting. icon_wink.gif

(Oh and yes, she really over reacted. The stress really has really done a number on her brain cells.)
LL

HollyPJ Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by melysa



she KNOWS the cake did not look like hers, because i sent her a photo at the same time.




OK, well that just makes her insane then, doesn't it?

Tell her the only totally unique flavors you have available are spinach cake with tomato filling and zucchini buttercream.

Then you can reassure her, with absolute certainty, that nobody will EVER have her cake flavor again.

spongemomsweatpants Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyPJ

Quote:
Originally Posted by melysa



she KNOWS the cake did not look like hers, because i sent her a photo at the same time.




OK, well that just makes her insane then, doesn't it?

Tell her the only totally unique flavors you have available are spinach cake with tomato filling and zucchini buttercream.

Then you can reassure her, with absolute certainty, that nobody will EVER have her cake flavor again.




That is hilarious!!! I am going to remember that. thumbs_up.gif

melysa Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyPJ

Quote:
Originally Posted by melysa



she KNOWS the cake did not look like hers, because i sent her a photo at the same time.




OK, well that just makes her insane then, doesn't it?

Tell her the only totally unique flavors you have available are spinach cake with tomato filling and zucchini buttercream.

Then you can reassure her, with absolute certainty, that nobody will EVER have her cake flavor again.




oh my...thats hillarious!

melysa Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiptop57

Naw Melysa it wasn't what you did it was how you communicated it. Your email confused her. She thought you made her EXACT cake for a birthday. Pick up the phone and call her. Sometimes people don't understand texting. icon_wink.gif

(Oh and yes, she really over reacted. The stress really has really done a number on her brain cells.)




nope, my email was pretty clear. however, i did just email her again to clarify.

spongemomsweatpants Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:37pm

I'd tell her to take a hike. If she is so stressed out about this wedding this far in advance then can you imagine what she is going to be like when the date gets closer. I wonder how drastic and dramatic the e-mails you get will be like then.
icon_eek.gif

tiptop57 Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:44pm

melysa okay there then - she's totally nuts......

Oh, oh, oh offer a peanut cake! Yeppers! That outa do it.........

leta Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:45pm

Well, IT WORKED! She got you to apologize when you did nothing wrong! That is a manipulator for you. I'm sure she needs you to feel sorry for her because she is the most picked on stressed out bride on the planet.
Since she is family, maybe you could do her a favor and tell her to get over herself and stop being dramatic. I bet she would never pull that crap with an actual Bakery! (I am assuming you do not own a bakery).

She's trying to create drama and manipulate. Don't you let her. Just make her the cake she wanted. I doubt she'll be crying crocodile tears when she is cutting it with her new hubby.

moralna Posted 1 Aug 2007 , 8:55pm

Leta just brought out a very good point - never mind that the girl to totally coocoo - we know that, but maybe she is also trying to make you feel guilty - which you do and shouldn't - and trying to get you to lower your price out of guilt. I mean - okay so maybe she is really stressed out and took this way out of proportion, but c'mon, let's think about this, who in their right mind can possibly think that they are to have a one of a kind flavor that no other soul has ever had?!! Is her dress one of a kind? Are they going to tear down the reception hall/church where she is holding her wedding so that she will be the only bride ever to use it .. . .is she the only woman her husband has ever been with. . . sorry, didn't mean to go thereicon_smile.gif

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%