I have to say the cake is absolutely beautiful. The colors aren't one's I would have picked, but if that's the colors she wanted then you made it just like she asked.

WOW!!! that cake is gorgeous. I hope to be able to decorate one day like that. I'm sorry she didn't like it.

Gorgeous cake. Grumpy daughter. If she's a daughterzilla in general then this comes as no real surprise. If she isn't, then she's just stressed and venting where she knows it's safe--with someone she knows is still going to love her anyway. Not her best moment, but hopefully she'll have the maturity to come to you and say so. It's fine if the cake was not what she wanted, but as you said her method of expressing it was way out of line. Has she been around the whole cake making process enough to have a clue what goes into producing something like that?

If you've been following this thread, here's an update: Have not heard from daughter since she left to go to her apartment and no she hasn't actually watch me decorate, but she does know how stressed out I get when I'm working on a cake . My family has learned to disappear when I'm in cake mode (still working on the 9 yr. old!)

The cake took 1st and best of show. There were only three others in my category!

I would be very hurt if my mother set up her dummy cake fair entry and said it was good enough for my wedding. Then I could just serve sheet cakes for people to eat.

Not that I think that was what you intended to convey, but it could easily have been taken that way...

This post is definitely hard to read as a daughter, because I went through many trials and tribulations with my own mom during the planning of my wedding (well and pretty much any time I assert my independence but that's a whole 'nother couch session...oh and I'm 40 btw). It is so hard, as a woman, your wedding is this huge "coming out" party, your one chance to show the world your "personal style," and yet even if you have the simplest of tastes, there are just going to be things you really want, and nowadays women are labeled "bridezilla" for speaking up for their desires. Don't get me wrong, I have seen plenty of bonafide bridezillas. But I just watched a good friend, who is also a kindhearted, gentle soul, plan her wedding and every time she wanted to put her foot down about ANYTHING people attacked her and called her selfish and a bridezilla. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but she continually butted heads with people who seemed to want to toss her desires aside and plan "their" perfect wedding FOR her.

I agree that the cake is absolutely GORGEOUS and that you daughter should have been MUCH more appreciative of your efforts, but part of her behavior might have been a bit of panic "OMG look at all the work my mom did and it isn't even what I want, what do I do now?!" so she just lashed out. Or yes, perhaps if you do this for a living it didn't occur to her the amount of work that went into it...you were just "doing your job" to her (especially if you had already earmarked the cake for a completely separate purpose). That doesn't excuse the attitude if she was cruel - was she? You didn't actually say that, you just said she complained that it wasn't what she wanted, people are inferring that she was mean and rude. It certainly would have been ideal if she had broken down in tears of gratitude and then gently explained to you that it wasn't what she wanted but that wasn't her state of mind in that emotional moment.

But it's hard to see SO many people here bashing your daughter like she's a horrible ingrate. It was admitted that you didn't discuss the specifics of the cake with her first. For a wedding? I can't imagine not discussing the logistics of one of the most symbolic parts of the reception with your "client", no matter who the client is. It's not that she doesn't trust you, trust your judgement, or like your work; it's just that she envisioned something else. If the cake were ONLY for the fair she probably would have gushed over it and told you what a beautiful job you did.

It sounds like you both made mistakes, although yours was a product of an amazing amount of hard work, talent and love, and it's really hard to find fault in that. Your gesture was sincere and from the right place. And of course you wanted her to love your finished product, so you were hurt when she rejected it. You should tell her that, please don't harbor resentment over this type of moment, it will fester forever.

As a parent now myself I totally GET how you have basically spent your entire life doing things FOR HER but please, this is her wedding day, please respect her desires for this momentous occasion, and don't think that she doesn't respect YOU just because you and she did not share the same vision.

Please reach out to her, you may not have heard from her because she is either angry (about the words exchanged between you two) or embarrassed (if she really was vicious) and doesn't know what to say to you since you two had the incident. You are the mom here, the teacher and (although she is an adult) the more mature person. Help her get through this wedding and don't make her feel guilty about it. She needs your love and support now more than ever as you send her off into the great big world to start a new life. Good luck.

First thought was... Which is the dummy, the cake or the daughter?? Then again, I can see both sides here...

O.k. first, she shouldn't be asking Mom to be making her wedding cake even if you are the best decorator in the region because you should be there to enjoy the day not be stressing out over making cakes. Secondly, if the color is "wrong" to her (looked pretty close to the invites to me), then she needs to supply you with a color swatch. If she's having Mom make the cake to save money, then she needs to realize that Mom can't do everything for the wedding and that the cake to do it as a real cake in that design would run about $1500., and DIY you just aren't going to have time with all of the wedding stuff you're already going to be doing to make that full cake the week of the wedding. Plain and simple!

Now, from your daughter's point of view. I can understand completely her point of wanting to get to cut into a real cake and not have her memory of her wedding cake being a dummy. Also if the colors are off from what she's wanting, HOWEVER she should have supplied you with a color swatch BEFORE you started working on this. It sounds like she's not understanding of just how much these cakes cost to make/create nor the time that is going to go into it.

As for the solution, it's a little too late now, but my thought is what another PP mentioned about doing another full tier in real cake for the cutting in the fondant then placing the dummy on top of that.

Either way, you've got to talk to your daughter and come up with a reasonable solution to the problem with her coming to an understanding that there has to be some compromise by both parties here because you agree that you just don't have the time to create a masterpiece the week of the wedding and she doesn't have the budget to hire a baker of the skill level to pull that cake design off.

Issues like this are usually the culmination of issues all along that the two of you have had. Now that she's breaking away from the nest, it's a big change and she still needs you regardless of what the solution to the problem ends up being.

The cake is very pretty but my daughter will have a heart attack if I were to make a dummy for his wedding or use those colors. I am not saying the colors are not nice, really like the teal but, I know she would never, ever, accept those colors and on top of that a dummy.

I am a mom of a selfish 18 year old so I do understand. Your cake is beautiful and I love the colors but it sounds as if you made some decisions on your own. I think you should have discussed the details with your daughter just as if she were a customer. I know you had all of the best intentions in mind but it is still her wedding day and the cake should be the way she wants it. This day is about her. She should have provided you with a sample of the colors she had in mind and discussed exactly the type of cake she had in mind as well.
I hope it all turns out well in the end for both of you and I do LOVE the cake you made for her.
Jacqui

ceshell I agree with 100%. As a mum we sacrifice so much for kids and it's all in the name of love.
christeena....the cake is so beautiful. I personally love everything about it. But I can also remember that when I got married and was planning the wedding I got on my mums nerves.....nothing she did was good enough (I think it was easier taking out my frustrations on her) but in the end it was a beautiful wedding. Just do your best and one day she will realise what a jem of a mum you are.

Wow, you all have given me so much to think about!
I don't do cakes for a living - I'd be broke if I did!! It is a creative outlet for me and I want to do my DD's cake since I jump at the opportunity to do one as they don't come along all the time. When we DID discuss her cake, she said she didn't care what I did as long as I matched the teal /brown. I DID NOT discuss the dummy cake thing because well, to me it just made sense to hide a 6" behind it for pics, so that erveryone who came to the OPEN HOUSE reception from 3-6 p.m. could see it throughout the day!

We are both stressed and I plan on calling her today to talk about since we both have had some time to meditate on it. This DD has always been independent and strong-willed with definate opinions of her own and she usually is not tactfull when expressing herself so I should not be surprised. I just wanted her to acknowledge my LOVE and effort that went into the cake. Anyway, it was great practice, I'll do another REAL cake in two weeks (chocolate BC and fondant accents) and I'm praying that we can get through this time somewhat pain free!!!

That's one beautiful cake.Sorry she didnt like it but I'd love it if my mum made me the exact cake someday

I'm heaving a great sigh of relief, Christeena.

I didn't want it to seem as if I was attacking you, just wanted to have you see it maybe a little from your daughter's point of view.

I'm SO glad you are going to talk to her about it.

Blessings to you both and have a lovely wedding...

The cake is gorgeous...I am sure everything will work out...stay calm!!

Okay, we've talked and here is the plan: new dummy cake with a more turquoise color ( not as much teal!) with just the top tier being a real cake for them to cut and then they'll take that with them on their honeymoon - first night together will be at their new apt. (I suggested this as I told her they would need to keep up their strength! Humor can't hurt!!) Anyway, we are fine and I'll just peel everything off the dummy next week and start over!!

So she agreed the dummy was a good idea after all. LOL I hope you entirely resisted the urge to say "I told you so!"

Like a previous poster, once I read your post I was expecting a hideous "amateur" cake...Not at all!! My mouth dropped when I saw your cake..I LOVE it! I think the colors are gorgeous and you did an amazing job! I would kill for such a cool cake at my wedding (and I'm sure since she's your daughter you were doing it for free??) Wow..I'm so sorry all she did was complain...I'm planning my wedding now, and I could never think of complaining if my mom made my cake..Even if I wasn't fully "happy" with it, or the colors, I would be more than happy she tried since even though it's not "your" day, you still play a major role and you did such a wonderful gesture by making her cake..I'm the type of person that even if it were my daughter, I would tell her to go find someone to make the cake since she was so ungreatful, and have fun paying for it!! haha..Good luck in the fair. I'm sure you will do wonderful there!

When you enter it in the fair, no one will have stuck their finger in it. At the wedding you would have had to stand guard over it with a stick to smack fingers for touching it. We all know there would have been someone that just had to touch it.

KandKsMadre, if you read 3 posts above you, you will see what the talk between her and her daughter resulted in.
Near the bottom of the previous page, she posted her fair results.

It's a really cool cake though! Hope you win first prize in the Fair!

Tell Steph she has NO IDEA how lucky she is to have you as her Mom, and a GREAT cake decorator!!!!!!!! And how much money it would cost to have someone else do it!!!
HANG IN THERE!! LOV'YA ANNA

that cake is nice and you've saved her hundreds of $ ,but if u tell her to go somewhere else who knows if she;ll ever talk to you again. i;m sorry for you

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE - DO YOU PEOPLE EVER READ THE ENTIRE THREAD BEFORE YOU POST?!?

AT THE TOP OF PAGE 6 SHE WRITES ABOUT THE TALK SHE HAD WITH HER DAUGHTER ABOUT THIS - PLEASE READ IT BEFORE YOU SOUND OFF AND SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT HER DAUGHTER!

Hey, Chris, how are you doing with Steph's wedding plans? Before you know it, it will be all over and everything will be great!!
I've not worked in awhile so I don'tknow anything that's going on.
LOV'YA ANNA

Read this entire thread, so now like MrsFritzy, I'm curious to know what happened ? I think the wedding was scheduled for 8/4...Enquiring minds wanna know (hope all went well)

The day went as well as could be expected. Two days before the wedding my left hip went out and I could barely walk. I still had 6 sheet cakes to finish up and see the girl married and go through the reception. Thank goodness for my chiropractor and tylenol!

Here is a picture of the reworked cake, the bottom two tiers are styrofoam and the top is chocolate fudge which they took on their honeymoon with them. She did let me know that the fondant pulled off all the Fudge buttercream when they tried to eat it so it didn't taste as good!!

I hope her new husband can make her more happy than I ever could!!

Oh my gosh!!! She is crazy!!!!!

I thought it was going to be a beginner cake, ya know, something I would make

This is great!!!

I have to say, I am not a huge fan of the colors, but the design is Fab!!!

(please don't shoot me )

Very nice cake and I love those colors!!!!!!!!