dl5crew & indydebi: if you can't get to the oil in time, grab some saran wrap and listen to what happens when there's "splattering".....

I have to say I guess I'm in the minority here. My husband is great. He's an overseas boat captain though and his time at home is very limited. If I want his opinion, I'll ask for it. If I ask him to taste something and tell me the truth, he does/will. If I want his ideas, I'll get them. Now when he wants something, he gets "it" too.....
Not to sound pompous but the idea is to include your husband if you want to. I also learned a very long time ago, don't ask a question that you don't want to hear the answer to.

I love this!!!! I am so glad I am not alone with a husband that has become negative! At first he was supportive and thought it was "cute" how excited I was over baking and decorating.....and then one day he started getting nasty with his comments and then hateful!

I was able to ignore him at first, but then it was every time I turned around. What is up with that?????? I am supportive of all his crazy projects and ventures. I didn't complain when he spent our vacation money on a "project car" that didn't have a motor!!! Nope, not one word. Then I didn't complain when he turned around and bought 2 more!!!! Didn't even utter a peep! I just put my big girl panties on and dealt with it

I'll tell you the straw that broke this camel's back.....I was deeply hurt when he told me that he no longer liked cake! Yes, he is a non-cake eater now, only wants cookies!!! That just isn't human! And I refuse to make him any cookies!!!

I love this!!!! I am so glad I am not alone with a husband that has become negative! At first he was supportive and thought it was "cute" how excited I was over baking and decorating.....and then one day he started getting nasty with his comments and then hateful!

I was able to ignore him at first, but then it was every time I turned around. What is up with that?????? I am supportive of all his crazy projects and ventures. I didn't complain when he spent our vacation money on a "project car" that didn't have a motor!!! Nope, not one word. Then I didn't complain when he turned around and bought 2 more!!!! Didn't even utter a peep! I just put my big girl panties on and dealt with it

I'll tell you the straw that broke this camel's back.....I was deeply hurt when he told me that he no longer liked cake! Yes, he is a non-cake eater now, only wants cookies!!! That just isn't human! And I refuse to make him any cookies!!!

mjs4492; I have done that. It's hilarious. I have also bleached a hand print into his hair. He made a comment when I bleached my hair. He thought I was a natural blonde. I told him that I loved him while placing my hand on his head and kissing his cheek. I just "forgot" to tell him to go shower immedialtly. He showered the next morning. I do not want to sound like I'm doing everything. After I oiled the seat. He put all of my undergarments in the freezer a few days later. Oh yeah try going to work with everything frozen

Sad to say my husband did not support me at first. He would get upset when I take so much time to decorate cakes and be away from the kids. I ease up from making cakes now I am in unversity. ( sold all my cake decorating stuff to attend university, what a dumb move) . I must admit the proft help me a long way. Now, being in unversity I am thinking about starting all over again and start making cakes for the students on campus. The university has over 4,000 students (um). I am still pondering what to do . Being on CC encourage me alot and I feel so confident when I see all the cakes in the gallery. I have yet to post a picture as I do not have anymore equipment to bake and decorate. Guess I need to go shopping again.

it's not my husband, it's my daughter. My BEST critic, she can tell it like it is and not hurt my feelings, she's my best support and my help. My "Heff" is great...she even tries to problem solve with me. She's also my best salesperson. I am hoping to get her into Course 1 in August, so we can do the rest together. She can already do must of the flowers, but the basics are rough. But let me pick apart one of my cakes, and she fires right back all the positives. Truly amazing kid.

This thread has been so funny to read! I actually have to say - it makes me appreciate my husband a little more lol. He used to piss me off so bad because I would beegggg for his opinion and he just wouldn't care. (He is like Mr. I Dont Care, Whatever about EVERYTHING). And I am a perfectionist! When I am in desperate need of an opinion, and he is the only one around, it is almost painful trying to get something out of him. (I can usually get more of an opinion out of my 2 month old). His answer always is "they're just gonna eat it anyway".

I guess he thinks this whole "cake" thing is a waste of time. I think for his next bday I will just bake a big round cake and glob a big 'ol hunk of frosting right on top and plop it down in front of him. He is just gonna eat it anyway, right? I must say though, I made him the Craftsman toolbox cake in my gallery for Fathers' Day, and he rolled his eyes at me for two days while I was making it, but he was actually really impressed with the final outcome. We just ate it anyway though. I will go give him a kiss right now though to let him know I appreciate his lack of enthusiasm for my hobby - it is much better than him criticizing me!

For all of you that have critical husbands - how about next time they say something, hand them your bag, spatula or whatever you have in your hand, and ask for them to show you how it's done! That might shut them up!

One thing my hubby does do though - he constantly makes fun of me for my addiction to CC! All of you that are on here I am sure can relate to the late nights, sore necks, computer screen headaches . . . . . it's silly really. But these guys just dont understand!!! If I don't get my CC EVERY DAY, I just might hurt someone!!! He patiently listens to my stories of forum posts, pics in the galleries, and so on and so on for just so long before he starts teasing. Then he starts in with " how many hours did you say you were on there!! What time did you finally turn off the computer!! You need to get a life!!" He even has my own brother making fun of me now. I wonder if there is some sort of rehab program for addicts like me . . . . "My name is Cassie, and I am a CCaholic"

My hubby has been really supportive and even complimentary about my cakes. The only bad part (I guess it's not really so bad)...he's a carpenter and he makes SURE my cakes are level! hahaha Sometimes to the point I want to smack him! Overall, he is very supportive....he just plays games on the computer while I bake and decorate!

I guess I have done this so long, mine doesnt say much...but I have the advantage of not having him here sometimes when I am doing cakes. He is a truck driver, so sometimes he isnt here and I just schedule around him when he is.
Now, he just tells people who like my cakes..."I taught her everything she knows"...as he winks at me

I guess I'm lucky, my husband sees it as a little extra cash and so he's just happy I can do that just "working from home" per se.

He also tells me they look nice (if they do) and sometimes he will tell someone he knows to look at my website and brags a bit on me which is but nice.

Sorry, I can't complain. While living with my husband can be a challenge, when it comes to baking he is my biggest supporter. He does dishes, runs out for supplies, and recently put a mortgage on his house ( he owns one of our houses, I own the other) to put me into business.

Now, does he give "input" where none is required ? Yes, but that is usually one sentence " needs more sugar." And he's just plain wrong about that.

This is a cute subject.
My husband is always Negative No Matter what I'm doing and I remember when I first bought my set of cake pans he was so upset and he went on and on about them but now about a year and half later he's getting better at it. Now when I am done with a cake he does say that they look really nice so he's coming around!!!!


Thanks,
Stacy

My DH is supportive of dessert making when it doesn't interfer with his life. He's one of those that Debi mentioned "I have to babysit my kids" type of dads. He is getting better though about that.
After I just finished making my 1st wedding cake and a birthday cake and a last minute order of cookies. He said he can't take it anymore. I had to do the cookies from home instead of the rented kitchen and he hated it. They were just cookies for my mom and he flipped because I was up late doing them for her and the kitchen got messy while I was baking. He actually has BANNED me from baking anything other than my daughters birthday cake next month. I just laughed at him and threw some of the flour that was on the counter onto the floor and told him I'm my own person and if he thinks there is a mess God gave him 2 healthy arms and legs to help around the house two.

I have more orders for cookies that I'm doing for my mom's work and I could care less about him banning me! In fact I'm taking a break from working on them.

My point is that he's probably threatened and not happy about everyone bragging on you--that's his job. Your making money and a name for yourself. He's also probably thinking cake time should be spent with him or doing something else more important. My DH does the same thing every now and then. He finally has told me he is threatened. I only do a few orders a month (that's all I accept) and he can't hang so I can't imagine how he would be if I was as busy as you. Don't ever let anyone stand in your way of success---you will end up hating them for it down the road.

My husband is just the opposite. He's the one that wanted to buy the flower shop, he's the one that wanted to buy the new building to move into, and now he's the one building a kitchen in it for me to make cakes and cookies professionally (have made for fun for years). He's not even done yet and no inspection made by health dept and he's out talking to prospective customers and trying to add PIES! I don't do pies!!! He's only known me for 18 years, you'd think he'd figured out by now I DONT DO PIES!! Anyway,...........

I am glad my husband isn't the only one that thinks he is "babysitting" when he watches our daughter. These guys would never survive one day in a mom's shoes.

Ahhhhhh, where do I start?? LOL When I 1st started, my hubby could care less if I did this or not. He entertained me as I went on and on about nothing (to him, I'm assuming). No one was really IN IT with me except for my cousin (which is more of my sister). His family humored me as well. Nooooooooo one really took me seriously. NOW, let's fast-forward. His family refers me to everybody and their momma (his mom tries to get the free cake done for her friends....uh NO!) and my hubby is very supportive, brags, does my supply run, passes out cards, delivers, advertises etc., etc. BUT he also thinks he knows just as much as I do and puts his 2 cents in every once in awhile. He REALLY acts like he knows where the dowel rod should go, the colors I should use, how the design should look....etc. AND he acts like I KNOW every single person I do a cake for. He asks me all the time, who is this cake for?? Now that annoys the HELL out of me. I don't know???? I just don't know, they could be related to the Queen or the clerk at the bank. I DON'T KNOW. If I do know, then I tell him. I don't know who may have referred them, they could've seen my cakes ANYWHERE. I've been doing this for almost 3 yrs.....how many referrals is that??? His 2 cents annoys me rarely but asking me who the cake is for....ticks me off! As well as these last minute cakes that come in when I'm already booked. Yeah, I appreciate the business but I still need the proper amount of time and if I'm booked....that means I can't take on another freakin cake. He works long hours now, so I do it all.....and boy, with everything that I have to do for 3 girls (1 being special needs) and TRYING to keep the house clean....asking me ONE MORE TIME, who this cake is for, will turn ugly. But to answer the question that was posted, yep, he acts funny sometimes....telling me crap like, this doesn't taste like it did before. Did you change the recipe, it's a little dry, it has no flavor, blah, blah, blah. We have a better cake relationship now.
Oh yeah, don't get me wrong too. At times, my biz is not interesting at all. He ignores me when I talk about new ideas but let me talk about trucks and trucking (because we own 18-wheelers)...eyes light up. I have to associate cakes with trucking in order to talk about a mixer or new refrigerator. HA HA HA HA HA You're not alone

My husband has a very high paying job, responsibility and respect at his office. But my husband is never home, and if he is, he is asleep in his recliner, snoring so loudly that the pictures rattle on the walls. He is addicted to work and is at his office 12-14 hours a day, often even weekends and on his rare "day off."

Then there is the fact he is a Boy Scouts Scoutmaster. It is a wonderful thing to be involved in Boy Scouts and helping boys become young men, but the free time he does have off from work, he spends at scout meetings or planning meetings or campouts for Boy Scouts, at least 3 nights a week, and 2 weekends a month. All the men in my husband's family are life-long Scouters. When we first got married, and I got to know my inlaws, my mother-in-law called herself a scout widow, and I used to laugh. My father in law was a Scouter for 60 years when he passed away several years ago. Now I understand.

Our only child, our son who is now 19, is an Eagle Scout because his dad forced him to do it. Many many times our son begged his dad "Let's just do some fun stuff together alone, go camping, or scuba diving alone, not with the scout troop" and my husband never did. Not once. A day will come along when my husband wants to finally spend some time with our son, and sadly, I suspect our son will "have other plans that day."

When I ask my husband to taste something...he always says "It's alright."
I could give him caviar or cat food, the response would be the same. He just doesn't notice.
When I ask his opinion about how a cake looks ..he always says "It's alright."
So I don't ask him anymore.

My cake making is a drop in the bucket in terms of money. But in terms of me having something of my own, something other people appreciate me for, it has saved my self esteem and my sanity. Because most of the time now, after 23 years of marriage, I am invisible to my husband.

Regarding "nagging"... I have a definition to offer for the difference between nagging and reminding:
If you tell/remind a man ONCE to do something he does not want to do, like taking out the trash or whatever, he will call it nagging.
But if you tell/remind a man REPEATEDLY about something he wants to do, like when the horse race is on TV or whatever, he will call it a reminding.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the money is what sparked his magnificent interest in cakes. HA HA HA HA. If it doesn't make dollars, it just doesn't make sense!
He's learned to appreciate cake designing now.
Sugarfrosted, my hubby used to be like that too at one point. Life happened and then he woke up and realized what was going on. I hope he sees you soon!

Every so often, we have a bash your DH post--and I understand a lot of it is just venting.

But I have to say...this thread is NOT funny to me, it is sad. I am sad so many of you struggle with difficult marriages and spouses.

I wont waste your time bragging about what a great man I married, but I will say this--he is not perfect, he has jerky days and days when he is in a bad mood, but overall, he loves us and takes great care of us.

AND..It took a long time to get to where we are. Our great marriage was forged out of fire and fighting.

If he asked me to give up decorating or if I knew it really truely bugged him...I WOULD GIVE IT UP IN A SECOND!

My marriage is so much more important than any hobby, job, amount of money. But I know, for many of you, it is not just a matter of cake decor, it is a stand of independence, that you will not be bullied and pushed around. I get that.

Concerning "nagging"--no one likes to be someone elses TO DO list. My DH has never hesitated to wash, scrub, fold, change diapers, get up in the middle of the night. And it is not because I ask him--I never ask him to do anything. We do not keep count in our family of who does what. Something needs to be done, someone does it...period.

I will say a prayer for you all that have difficult relationships.

Soooo many of these fit my husband, too, but like so many of you fabulous ladies I have managed to figure him out and make it all work. My best idea was to ask his opinion about a project and then incorporate something he suggested. Follow that up with lots of "hey honey I used your suggestion and it was perfect" or "your idea worked great, thanks for the help". Every now and then I involve him in the idea process from the very beginning and ask him what he thinks. They like knowing we value their opinions and that they're helping us in some way.

My husband is incredibly talented in so many ways. He is an artist, a musician, a craftsman, and he can do anything. I don't have an artistic bone in my body and have to have pictures to work from or to get ideas from! By getting him involved I get to use his talents and boost his ego at the same time. Win-win situation !

I forgot to mention my husband got me a double oven recently, from a home remodel, and he's building a new cottage next to our house for my Mother to live in when she retires soon....and he's paid for it all. I have a great job and make really good money myself, but baking is my passion. I'm fortunate to be married to a man who isn't threatened by my success and who doesn't whine about being neglected when I'm baking all night.

justfrosting, don't read my "Stupid Husband Stories" and assume we are fighting all the time and it's always a one on one battle.

My husband does stand-up comedy. We joke that I'm his head writer. Our friends love coming to our house to see the "Phil and Debi Show". We go at each other because it's fun and funny!! Yes, we have our "I could just KILL him!" moments (he may have one of those anti-wife emotions sometimes, but I dont' see how! ). Our kids will tell you that the one thing they hope to duplicate in their marriage is how to make a fight last less than 10 minutes like we do.

I am 48 years old. I have told him that if anything happened to him tomorrow, I swear on everything holy that I would never date again. We are true soul mates and I cannot imagine me finding anyone else on this earth that would be a better partner with me.

Yeah .... sometimes I have to drag him by his ears to the next point, but that's why we're a great match. I'm the risk taker and the adventurer and he's the play it safe guy. Follow the rules. Take no chances. Holy moly, he'd never gone to a real estate open house because he didn't know you were "ALLOWED" to go in someone's home!! ("allowed" ---- get permission, follow the rules). But because he the "safe" guy, he's hanlding my money and my books.

No, he wasn't anxious to "risk" the house and our retirement monies to push this business to the next level, but I didn't really have to fight him ...... I just did it. It's one thing to have a spouse who isnt' totally FOR the idea .l.. it's totally another to have to actually fight a spouse to be able to fulfill your dream. I didnt have to "fight" him....I just had to drag him a little!

Please don't read one paragraph of someone's life and assume the whole book is like that.

just frosting


It is good that you and your hubby have such a great relationship but you should never giveup everything for anyone.

Wow you ladies got me scared..Hubby is real supportive actually he is kinda pushing me to get into this for some extra money...I have 2 little ones and hubby's on 12 hour rotating shifts..so when he is here he might as well not be here..sorry hear a little bitterness hubby just took a new job with a pay cut for Opportunities for future- not used to this all yet-shiftwork..paycut..no help with the boys..okay I'm done....Trying to do cake for a friend is a handful alone with the boys

My husband is really helpful and so are my boys. i really do neglect them when i make my cakes and noone really complains, except when i dont charge enough.

I'm sorry Justfrosting but I really don't think that anyone was saying that their husband's were horrible, just sometimes blind to the passion some of us have for cake decorating/baking. I don't think a little icing is going to break up a marriage here. And if cakes is what I feel, then my hubby (if he loves me truly) is willing to meet me half way....and he did. My hubby would never ask me to give up something that I LOVE....not put me in a position to have to negotiate it or weigh my options. I do hate that this thread has angered you but I do feel, maybe, you have misinterpreted what has been said. We all love ours husbands or they would be EX-husbands. I appreciate my hubby but it did take him some coming around before he saw my vision (its our vision now). I support him on what he does, why wouldn't he support me? And I'm sorry, your husband sounds really great but I do have to say some things to mines repeatedly to get some things done. It doesn't make him horrible but WE both are responsible for raising our kids and keeping the house in order....isn't it fair to want help? You really took one person's heartfelt emotions about her passion and turned it into an extreme. She's just wants to be appreciated and respected (not trying to be independent or taking a stand against bullying) in decorating. You saw hubby bashing, difficult marriages and spouses, I saw "please respect me 'cause I respect you". Love ya girl but take it lightly.