thanks momsandraven at least I know that I am not alone. LoL I guess that my kids and husband will get used to it soon too.

Vic

Okay everybody.......here is parts of the dillio story continuing saga of "As the Icing Melts"...I know you all have been wanting to know what is going on.....The cake has completely changed from the scrollwork style cake. So now what do we all do???? That was the whole point of this forum post was to get a topper for a scrollwork style cake and now we aren't even doing it.....ha ha ha....Now she wants a cake that is hexagon (great the more expensive pans.....sheesh) cake that each layer is different flavored. The design is fushia and deep orange with stripes and dots alternating in each layer. She also wants tiger lilies and butterflies on it. This is getting ridiculous....The flavors are lemon and raspberry, strawberry banana, vanilla peppermint, and marble mocha. Then the groom's cake it just chocolate. Can you see the difference in the two of them? All of the fancy flavors for her and he just wants chocolate. ha ha ha....Well it gets better!!! He was suppose to be leaving on a plane back to his duty station on Friday morning. He called and told everybody he was all ready back on base. Come to find out he was still here at her house!?!?!?!?!?!? He shows up at my husbands birthday party trying to surprise everybody- but they just ruined the party because everyone was upset because he lied. His excuse was that there was too much traffic from construction and he missed his flight so he lied so he could surprise everybody....whatever....So Grandma was coming up on Saturday. We picked her up at the airport and hmmmm there wasn't any construction.....Well Grandma and I are sitting out on the gazebo with the soon to be SIL, MIL, and Aunt. I got a brand new cake catalog from the mail right before we got there....so like any other CC addict I was all giddy and flipping out over it. Grandma was looking through it all with me and when we got to the wedding section she got all excited and started talking about their wedding.....ohhhhhh this was excellent. You all know how she didn't want any flowers at the reception or carry any or do a boquet toss or a garter or anything...Grandma piped and set the story straight....She IS doing all of the above and WILL like it because it is tradition. They got out of doing a real wedding because that is what they wanted (not because it wasn't affordable- she doesn't like people starring at her or big crowds).....but Grandma said everything else would be done the RIGHT way. OHHHHHHHHH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! I was rolling inside and today MIL told me she was rolling too!!!! GO GRANDMA!!!! So with this really modern cake-----guess what she finally picked as a topper......those really weird ribbon like people.....I would have done something in butterflies or something that matched the rest of the cake...but no ribbon pyscho looking people will be right up there.....ha ha ha...I asked if we should do cookies or something NORMAL for all of those people who won't want a flavor from who knows where cake.....they didn't want any....GRANMA SAID OH YES WE ARE!!!!....and the soon to be SIL wants these really expensive favors (for like 130 people) that cost over 3 bucks a piece.....I was loosing it.....Then she calls and says that she found a hall for the reception that is like an hour away from my house. So with the time that she wants the reception. I'm going to have to take the day off to go up there and set up the cake....grrreeeaaatttt....So not only am I loosing out a crapload of money on this blasted cake, but I'm now going to have loose a day of work too. Turd. Turd. She's a big fat TURD!!!! Way to inconvience everyone even more. Grandma rocks.....I'm so thrilled she is home right now.....I'm sure the saga will keep on continuing. But I thought you all should here what has been going on lately. It's awesomely hilarious!!!! Soooooo now what folks??? Did you like the episode of "As the Icing Melts"??? By the way everyone think of me and pray that I get a new job. I have an interview on Tuesday. I want to get back to a normal sleeping pattern and finally get back to my cake decorating business. I was also hit up this weekend by people who want four cakes. One of the cakes is for a 50th anniversary the day after my BIL's wedding.....AHHHHH!!!! So please send out your good thoughts and prayers....Maybe I'll get more "As the Icing Melts" stories for you. Thanks all!!!

I'm trying to imagine this cake. Let's see...4 stacked hexagon shaped cakes and a groom's cake??? In fuschia and bright orange stripes and dots???? With tigerlillies and butterflies?? And now cookies for 130 people as favors? Good Grief! You have your work cut out for you!

Let us know how it turns out. We are hooked on 'As the icing turns'.....

OH MY GOD. The wait was worth it. Thanks for sharing.

You know I was thinking about the whole thing and came up with this solution. See I make cakes for my family too but what I do is give them a "guide Line" I will let them pick a cake from a few cake, that I know that won't take me to the poor house. Then if they want something to fancy or too big than they need to put half of the cost. For my family I don't charge my time I only tell them what the supplies are going to cost. Maybe if you give a choice like that she will get off her High Horse and live in a real world rather than the world she is living in.

And as for things changing when they "grow Up", sorry to say but it won't they are still going to live off of others. My cuz, (which I love like my own brother) married a wanna be princess - ghetto style. They also went through the he had to leave to serve our country. Well, he got "hurt" (or so he says) he got an honorable discharge and he came home to be with her they have since been married ten years and daddy bought them a house and Mommy is always sending them money because there is a "bill" that needs to get paid. Yeah ok maybe its the $100.00 jeans that she wants or the $200.00 boots that she wants or some $5,000.00 couch that she wants for her new living room, which she has all of these. So it is sad to say it doesnt get any better. oh and wait till they have kids my cuz has three girls and the baby showers were no picnic. They registered at some fancy boutique that the onesies cost $28.00 each. That was their least expensive item on their list..

Oh what do they do for a living, she works at a fertility clinic as a clerk and he a Ford car salesman. Talk about way out of there league.


Can't wait for the next episode of " As the Icing Melts"

Good Luck
Vic

Hmmmm... not only are you losing money on the cake you have to take time off of work? I think you should ask SIL to purchase the cake pans for you as HER gift to you (You're in the wedding, right?).

I have sat here and read through this entire thread and boy is this entertainment!!!!!! Why don't people just live within their means? My DH's nephew is getting married July 22 and I agreed to do their cake and they haven't even told me what kind of cake they want except she wants it to be square. Boy that narrows it down dosen't it I told the granny of the groom that they have until tommorrow to let me know more details or I absolutely would not do it. They also were to buy the pans since I don't have any square ones. We have had trouble with the bride before. She is extremely bossy and she bossed my son and I politely told her to KNOCK IT OFF!! I just know when I tell them I can't do the cake after they have had 4 months to get me the info that it will be problems all over again. ASuperGirl, I sympatheize with you and if I were you I would just do what I could afford and they would like it or they would pay to have someone else make it or should I say pay to give someone else a major headache.

debsuewoo-----nope I'm not in the wedding---they are doing it in a court house with a judge......everyone in the family is very very very very upset about it all. Mom and Dad are upset that they can't see the exchanging of the vows in a church. Brothers are upset that they can't be in the wedding. My husband (one of the brothers) is irate at the fact that he can't be the best man because they don't even want those at the court house. Parents ONLY are the ones allowed to watch the "ceremony" at the court house. Grandma is absolutely livid that her grandson isn't getting married in a church (very religious). The rest of the family is ticked off because all they want is money- no gifts- and have said so. I'm absolutely livid because I offered to do a cake for their non-traditional crappy wedding because I thought that they couldn't afford to buy one (which they can) and it would be mine and my husbands gift to them. Afterall it is going to cost a hefty penny. My birthday is Saturday and what did I ask for??? An airbrush so I could practice with it before doing their cake in December. An now she wants me to take a day off of work to set up this monster of a cake. She also wants me to throw her her bridal shower and do the cake for that one since she doesn't have any sisters and her best friend is still in high school (yet is getting married very quickly too to a guy that she has known for less than six months in August without telling her family) and her best friend doesn't have a job or a car or a license to go buy stuff for and plan her bridal shower. Once my BIL and soon-to-be SIL figured out their cake and told Grandma about it on Saturday......GET THIS....THEY HAD THE NERVE TO SIT THERE AN TURN TO ME AND MY HUSBAND AND SAY....."SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GETTING US FOR OUR GIFTS FOR OUR WEDDING?".....OH MY FREAKING HOLEY MONKEY!!?!?!?!?!?! TWO SNAPS AND OH NO YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!!!!!! Their cake is going to cost us an arm and a leg and they had the nerve to ask us not what are we getting them but plurally what giftssssssssss are we getting them?!?!?!?!?!?!? I wanted to knock her teeth down her throat and pop her a good one in the face before she even knew what hit her. Then I get an e-mail last night (and she knows that I work nights) that she wants a picture drawn up and e-mailed to her by this morning of what their cake and topper she picked out are going to look like because she wants to show people this morning.....MY BUTT!!!!! WHOSE MAID AND BUTLER DOES SHE THINK I AM?!?!? DEFINITELY NOT HERS!!!! AN WHATEVER GAVE HER THE NOTION THAT I WOULD WAIT ON HER EVERY WHIM IS BEYOND ME. JUST BECAUSE MY BIL IS A SUCKER AND AN IDIOT DOESN'T MEAN THAT ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE EITHER OF THOSE. Wow...like my little rant....sorry folks.....time for sleep ..till next time....."As the Icing Melts."

Oof! You are definitely a bigger person than me. I would've told her long before now, "uh, ya know, I've been thinkin'...you should get someone else to do your cake...I done changed my mind...nah uh...nope...not gonna do it"
Ugh...then I would've shoved 20.00(since they wanted money and that chick would've long been set ahold of my nerves) in a Hallmark card(at least I'd care enough to send the very best, right)....got me a fresh cup of coffee and let out a sigh of relief that I was NOT gonna do that cake!

ASupergirl, I think you should write a book on this one. You could get rich. I had to go back and read the entire thread. It is hillarious. I was truly disappointed when I got to the last page(I had read it first). Thanks for the entertainment.

This is ridiculous... This is also why I am getting back into decorating cakes. I decorated cakes for a few years but gave it up a couple of years ago. I am getting back into it because I am getting married next year, and not only am I going to make my own cake (I'm a picky bride, but at least I'm competent enough to support my own picky tastes) but I'm also going to put half of the money I make making cakes into helping pay for the wedding. I am getting married at my great grandparents' house (which was donated to the city a few years ago and has since been turned into Botanical Gardens) because I can get married there for nothing. I am borrowing everything I can to make this wedding happen, and I'm going to be totally grateful for what I get. If someone lets me use something and it isn't exactly what I had in mind, instead of being totally offensive and turning someone down, I'll find a way to make it what I wanted. I love my fiance, and I want us to have a nice wedding, but I am not going to alienate anyone in the process. I'm a firm believer in either living with what you have, or making it better your own dam^ self.

Honestly, I have done only 2 wedding cakes at this point, and on both of those, I did them as gifts to the bride, but both times I did a good enough job, that after the wedding was over with, either the bride or someone from the family gave me a "tip" because when someone goes above and beyond for you, that's just what you do.

With this particular situation, I don't care who's making this wedding a difficult one to plan, the point is, someone needs to kindly remove their head from their @$$. The bride sounds totally ungrateful to me, and she will probably not appreciate the finished product because she didn't have to pay for it. But can I make a suggestion? Make just one extra cake with an extra-thick layer of icing on it to be promptly placed in the middle of the face of the first person that moans or groans about the cake... no matter who it is.

Ok, next time she mentions anything -shape, color, topper, whatever- that you don't already own the eqipment for. Look her straight in the eye and with your most sincere voice and face say, "Gee, I really would like to make your cake but I don't own those pans, I can't take the day off, whatever.... Maybe I better back out, and let you order the cake you really want from someone else. I wouldn't want to spoil your plans." And mean it. It is called a stratgic retreat.

Jinxy(above) You sound like you have some sense about you. Half the weddings I see now days are foolish displays of financial stupidity.

I have been laughing so hard my sides hurt.
Maybe you should itemize how much each aspect of her cake will cost and let her pick what she wants up to a certain price. ie.: each tier $50, fondant $25, topper $15. When she hits the limit, she's out of luck.

You have to tell her at some point that you cannot do this, she will never be happy.

With all due respect and I honestly don't mean to be harsh, when is the divorce ideas thread being resurged, this time for your BIL and the Queen he intends to marry?

A December wedding? Next thing you know they will be wanting Christmas gifts as well!

Honestly, ASupergirl, you are a better person that I am. If I were in your position. Bridezilla would have accidentally fallen off a cliff or accidentally drowned by now (Grandma would probably make a good alabi too!).

SIL should thank her lucky stars right now and should seriously think about kissing your tootsies for being so patient with her. I'm telling you, right now I'd be calling Uncle Luigi and badabing badaboom!!!

.......As the Icing Melts......your newest episode.....I got a call from future SIL today....while I was sleeping!!!!!!.....she knows I work third shift and sleep during the day....I was so ticked I just let it go to voicemail. I haven't saw or heard from her since the day she picked out her cake. Neither has anyone else. I did hear through the grapevine that she now wants to do a Las Vegas/Poker themed reception. Then finally BIL calls and speaks to my husband after not calling to tell us that he got back to base safely when we specifically asked him too over two and a half weeks ago. He says that he isn't sure what they are doing----It's ..."Whatever my boss wants.".....I hate that!!!!....he says that all the time...and he even told my husband...."Why don't we just let our bosses deal with it?" when he was home. For one, I am not nor have I ever been my husbands boss. I may pick out the pants he wears, but he definitely wears the pants in our relationship. Ha ha....Seriously, we have an equal relationship...It's together or nothing. Here my BIL has to let her pick out the pants and lets her wear them too. I thought the military was suppose to give you some backbone---evidently not. Anywho....She calls today and wants to know when I can do the wording for their wedding invitations this week or by next week. HELLLLLLOOOOO!!!!!! I'm now working 7 days a week without a day off in site till close to Christmas because of the whole world wanting Christmas cookies. On top of it...when did I ever say that I would do that??!?!?!? All I said was that it would be easy to word, but she would need to be specific that it is just a reception since they aren't having a real wedding. My husband comes home and I tell him all of this and let him listen to the voicemail. He's just a little pissed. One she missed my birthday and two she had to be told to come over today for my MIL birthday. He said that I am not to plan her bridal shower or do their invitations or anything else her little heart demands. The only thing that we are doing is their cake and we are doing it how we want it not how she demands and that we are .."nor hell nor high water getting them a wedding gift or Christmas gift" because "we are all ready spending enough *darn* money on their cake".....I said woah and liked his attitude and approach to it.....What do you all think of this now??? I thought you would all like an update....I'm off to go make dinner for MIL birthday---we'll see what happens IF she shows up....dun dun dunnnnnn

.....update again....twice in one day..shocking!!!.....future SIL did NOT show up today for my MIL birthday.......she was doing the invitations (weird since she just asked me about them today) and finishing up their save-the-date cards which should have been mailed out long time ago, but now she is going to send them out and turn around and mail out invitations....waste of money.....and I just found out that they are getting a silver platter of furniture and stuff from my Grandma who is moving...am I a little jealous.....yes....my husband and I started out with NOTHING....we literally slept on the floor of our apartment for a couple weeks until we got everything we needed.....and the reponse to them getting the stuff from Grandma....."now we'll have money for you to fly home in September."......that money they could be putting towards the wedding that they aren't helping pay for anything for or at least giving me a little bit of help with their expensive cake.....grrrrrrr.......

You know what? Just because they are family (or soon to be possibly if he doesn't bite the leash off his neck first) does NOT give the right to treat you or anyone else like shit. And you should not allow that stress in your life. Seriously, I had some huge BS thing with one of my sisters, she's Psycho sister. And I battled long and hard within myself to decide whether just to walk away or not, and I would have without a thought walked away, because NOBODY treats me that way. Well I have in the mean time talked to her, but the reason I didnt walk away was because I have a REALLY tight bond with her 2 young kids, and God knows I figured if I walked out of HER life she would use them (as she has done) as pawns and also tell them something like Aunty K doesnt love you guys anymore, if they ask 'why doesn't she come to see us anymore' NO basis in reality.

Sounds to me like this girl has a LOT of growing up to do. And she's disrespecting the whoel family,
and as entertaining as this all has been to read, I have to say quite frankly because I've faced this with family members of my own, you are enabling her crappy selfish mental behaviour if you even let her go this far.
Someone needs to say listen this will just NOT STAND. I am not doing your cake, I offered to do it and it was going to be free as our gift to your for your wedding (this can all be said nicely, I've had smiliar convos before and it works, write it down in letter form if you feel you can't keep even keel face to face, or try on the phone). However, I don't appreciate how disrespectful you are to me and my family, and so you will have to find someone else to put up with your stuff. (said with smile) and good luck and hope it all goes well.

Seriously, that sounds harsh but it's reality, and I'm telling you from very fresh experience- because I have 2 family members who have serious reality issues and there are other family members who enable them (long stories wont go into), and my twin sister and I are the only 2 who have confronted on this and put foot down. And I told Psycho sister's now ex hubby after he told me all the WHACKED Shit/games she pulled during their marriage, that as long as he was still letting her manipulative batting eyelashes work and hand over money (so for instance she could use it to pay for gas and hotel with her new boyfriend), that she was going to keep doing it and that he was enabling her. and that he had to stop

so quite simply, you have to put your foot down. It doesnt have to be nasty Jerry Springer hair pulling (on your part, god knows I can imagine her reaction but you just walk away from that). She'll never grow up if people keep jumping through her hoops. Be the one to tell her. You owe it to yourself and your level of sanity,

As I like to say, sorry I don't have room in my emotional storage space for treatment like that, from family or anyone else. From her perspective, she'll never grow up if people dont tell her 'this wont fly'

I really do sincerely hope you consider that, for her sake and mostly for your mental/emotional health, which should be number one

good luck and sorry for the long post LOL

Wow I just joined this thread and all I can say is kick a b@#$*'s a*^!!!! Sorry, south side of Chicago fiesty lady here. Okay seriously though, I am just doing a cake for my sister's birthday party and am at least getting supplies cost for it. If she is treating you like that I would tell her (as my gramma would say) to "go scratch herself!!!" She has absolutely no right to talk to anyone or treat anyone like that. Some people have this royal sense of entitlement and they need someone to smack them back into reality. You might be deemed the SIL from H$^& but at least you won't be her personal floor mat anymore. Well off to bed!!!
Good luck!

ASupergirl -

I was (and continue to be in) a similar situation with my SIL. When they got engaged (2 months after they met), I was excited about their wedding and offered to help, since I'd just gone through it all myself less than a year before. When I found that NOTHING I suggested was to her satisfaction or liking, I decided to wash my hands of the whole thing. Unfortunately, my mom picked up the reins and hosted (and paid for) the whole thing at her house, and inherited much of the headache I avoided.

Anyway, it has been a continual soap opera with her since, and it sounds like our situations are pretty similar. I have a few insights to offer that I've discovered in the 5 or so years since this started...

She and my brother are EXTREMLY insecure, competitive and jealous. Everything they do they feel they have to OUT-do my husband and I. When they got married, my husband and I were trying to get pregnant and I'd just had a miscarriage. We were undergoing fertility treatments. SIL got pregnant within 2 months of marriage so that they could have the first grandchild in the family. (We had ours 3 months later.) I think that the ONLY reason my brother proposed so soon after they met, was because I had just gotten married, he felt like he needed to get married, too. It's been one episode after another of them trying to out-do us, and we don't even CARE!

Sounds like maybe your BIL is acting the way he is because he sees and envies the married life his brother has and figures this is his way to get it -whether or not this is the right girl or the right time. He probably talks alot about you and your husband, and maybe that's why she's asking for your help with so many things - she knows that your BIL likes the way you've done things.

Even though you and your hubby love your BIL and want to help out where you can, it sounds like maybe the best help that anyone can give these two is a reality check. Let them see that life in the adult world ISN'T easy, and that if they want things, they're going to have to work hard to get them, instead of having it handed to them. One day, they will be faced with this harsh reality, and it will probably be at the expense of their marriage. People that love them and try to help them are actually enabling them in their destructive behavior.

If I were you, I would tell SIL (and BIL) "I agreed to make your wedding cake, and I will keep that promise. However, there are some things you have to understand:

1) This will be a considerable expense for us. With the kind of cake you would like to have, the expenses alone are going to run $____. Of course, there will also be a considerable amount of my time involved. It will probably take me __ hours, plus __ time off work, to set it up at the hall, etc. (In fact, if I were making this cake for someone else, or if you were paying someone else to make it for you, it would cost $_____.) Since this is such an investment for us, the cake WILL be your wedding gift, and probably your Christmas gift, too, since it's so close to Christmas. I wish I afford to do the cake AND get gifts, AND host a Bridal Shower, but we're on a budget, and we just can't afford to do it all.

2) I know there'a alot to do for the wedding, and I wish I could help more, but with all of the time I'm going to be investing on the cake, it's really all I can commit to right now.

3) Since the cake is going to take considerable planning, I need a final design idea by ___(date)___. I'd like to shop around a little for the pans and other supplies I need and maybe get some when they're on special - so that is why I need a finalized plan now.

I'm sorry to be so formal about all of this, but these are the things I'm going to need to be able to do this for you. If you don't think this is going to work out, you can go and hire someone else to make the cake and you won't hurt my feelings. But I need to know your decision by ___(date)___, so I can plan accordingly."

I think that is stating it firmly, but nicely. If she DOES decide to hire someone to do it, she'll find out quick that she's going to have to adhere to THEIR guidelines and not be able to make changes at her whim.

In addition, if she continues to push things off on you, like the invitation wording (?!?) - - I'd say, as sweetly as possible - - "Oh, that is something SO personal, I'm sure you'll want to do it yourself." Or, tell her "When I planned my wedding, I went to the printer and looked through their books at the examples of the invitations until I found one I liked." And then leave it on HER to do it.

I know it's easy to volunteer to help with stuff, but, unfortunately, sounds like she's a parasite and knows how to work everything and everyone so that she doesn't have to do anything. You're probably going to have to do what I did - learn to zip your lip and just sit back and let them do whatever it is they're going to do. They're probably going to create a lot of disasters, but you won't have to be a part of them!

just read this entire thread, and i admire your willingness to deal with all of the crap they're giving you. i would've blown my top and punched her in the face a long time ago.

i have to say that her lack of maturity and knowledge in all things wedding related doesn't surprise me. she is, after all, 19, right? not to say that SOME 19 year olds may be prepared for all of this, but i feel like i'm pretty accurate when i say that NEITHER your BIL or his future wife are.

nonetheless, these shenanigans have made for some very good reading.


and as for the topper, type up a bill on pretty pink butterfly paper and place THAT on the top.

awaiting the next episode.....

Wow...all I can think of are two wedding bands and maybe some more scroll work

WOW -- I just read through this thread last night. Definately entertaining!

I totally feel for you, Asupergirl. Hopefully this soon-to-be-SIL will wake up and smell the coffee very soon (but what's the chance of that? LOL).

Waiting to see how all this turns out....

This girl is in for a huge reality check once they get to his duty station and she is living the military life. I'm sitting here just laughing at miss princess because she is in for it!!

I'm guessing they aren't going to last long or he will end up miserable for letting her have her way all the time.

I give you a lot of credit for not telling her tough make your own cake or buy one from someone else after all this crap. I do think the "tiff" topper is hilarious but not really approrpriate.

Good luck with everything, sounds like you need it!

Asupergirl, you are dealing with a major drama queen. Those types will suck the energy and lifeforce right out of you---and quickly too! Don't buy into it!

You should just learn to say no. No! NOOOOO!

When she changes a plan, just say No! No to a bad cake plan, no to taking off work, No to anything you don't want to do. What is she going to do? Get someone else to make her cake?

Just say no.

I am CRACKING UP at this thread! Twinkies... bird phobias... Run-down shacks... BWWWWWAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAA! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let us know what you decide to do with this situation!?!?!
In my opinion, this girl needs a swift kick in the rear. Do you know how humbled and grateful MOST people would be if they were being given the funds for a wedding/reception?!?!? I would take what I was given and smile from ear-to-ear the whole time- whether I was afraid of the bird sculptures or not! What a bridezilla!!!! Your poor BIL!?! Have y'all asked him if he is for sure for sure about this chick??? Does he know the heck she's causing y'all? Not that you need to tattle-tale, but at some point, he needs to step outside of the situation, and weigh the consequences!!! Sorry- I'm on my soapbox. PLEASE keep us updated!!!

Well I'm not sure when I updated this last....but here goes the "little" update for now....

They...umm..she has decided that they are going to be doing a Las Vegas/Poker themed reception. She sent out save the date cards----with no address or time or anything on the cards just their names and the day....didn't even say that it was a wedding reception. I thought they were hilarious. They looked like a five year old wrote on them, but were in reality her hand writing. This poker night theme will include plastic green table cloths and poker chips on the tables. They will even be having a pinata for people hit and have candy fall out on the floor. An there will be decks of cards on the tables for people to play poker with. Somehow deep down I feel like calling the police for this wedding because essentially since it is in a public place and they are going to in a sense gambling.......and gambling is illegal in the state of Ohio.....are you all getting what I am thinking....ha ha ha...Me and my husband ran into three of his friends at a restaurant a couple of days ago and they asked about him. We told them everything that was happening and they were blown away. Said that this wasn't their friend. Something was wrong. Wanted to know who was paying who because there was no way that he would ever do this....They were really upset when they found out that they were not invited to the wedding.....But....Me, Hubby, and MIL all said that they can come anyhow....ah ah haaaa.....They took his phonenumber from us and were going to call and see what his problem was and what was going on with him. So with this whole poker idea (which by the way I'm not suppose to know about), I really don't want to put an orange and pink butterfly "wedding cake" in the middle of it. How stupid do you think that will look and make me look?????? So I designed this beautiful cake with the theme of "King and Queen of Hearts" to go along with the poker idea. Every one who has seen it thinks that it is just gorgeous and will work perfectly and that I should just screw the butterflies and go with this since it will make it look awesome with the theme. I was even told just to make a sheet cake out of it because nobody was coming. I really don't feel like changing it behind her back so I called her and said that I was looking in a Michaels ad and saw that they had wedding favors on sale and that could she call me back. Well that was 22 days ago and she has never called me back. In over a month she has only seen my in-law family twice and both times were very short since everyone was going to bed and the other time she wanted my MIL to fix the addresses that came back bad on the save the crap cards. If only she had listened to me....I am the only one in the family who has all of the right addresses from fixing them from our wedding.....She lied to my MIL that she has spoke to me and did all this stuff for the cake....folks....it is pure BBBBBSSSSSS. I haven't seen her in over 45 days let alone...I'm the one who is doing the stuff for the cake...moron.....and my MIL knows this....She hasn't planned out anything else for the "wedding". Now she and BIL are trying to one-up us on everything we are doing lately. I don't get it....we all ready know that she HAS TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. So that is my only conclusion. But all of the BS is getting really old. I'm about tempted to do the danged cake how I want it to look and just tell her off. If she can't make a simple return phonecall....I'll be just danged if I'm going to be doing her the bridal and bachelorette party she wants too....let alone make her her precious freakin' butterfly cake....whewwww..Do that give you all your giggle fix for the weekend??? I'll try to give you all more later...TA TA....

OH MY! Green plastic tablecloths and poker chips AND A PINATA!!!???!!! And she thought monogram cake-toppers were tacky???? This girl sounds bipolar. Good luck trying to please her!

Oh goodness, girly that is an understatment. My advice to you is do not buy anything at this point, disaster is surely around the corner.

Also if the reception is looking like under 100 people by no means do not make a cake that is bigger than what is needed or supplement with dummies. What I would do is make a cake smaller and dress the table up with decor items, lift the cake up off the table with some kind of stand to make it look bigger.

But my gut reaction is this wedding isn't going to happen.
Otherwise maybe just ask her what she thinks she would spend on a cake if she was actually paying for it herself and then when she gives you the amount be like well then this is what I could do for you.

The whole gift thing BS, just plain and simple BS. My best friend got married and her cake was a gift, she paid for all the supplies though, she wouldn't have it any other way. I also had put together all her flowers and was a bridesmaid. Well we decided together that was my wedding present for her. Her sister(Maid of honor) was very PO'd that I wasn't chipping in on the group wedding gift, thought it was so wrong . Was I upset and the bride, she didn't get it that what I did for her was well over $900 if she had paid for it through others.

Some people just don't get and she is one that isn't even on the border of not getting it.

All I can say is good-luck and I agree with the others maybe it is time to politely back out of this one.

LMAOOOOOOOO I havent decided yet if I think you're totally brave or of your rocker for sticking with this fiasco this long sorry (laughing, not giving you a hard time). You HAVE to send this whole thread to Days of our Lives or some show like that. I KNOW that this would be snatched up in a second- and eh it'd be like trauma pay for all the crap you've had to deal with thus far - just keep sending them 'episodes' and make sure you negotiate a good deal LOL

Lord, you know there have been one or two WHACKED situations in my family and I just shake my head and stand back cause I couldnt possibly get involved in somethiing that asinine. I still maintain blood is NOT thicker than water in these cases

By the way? I love the king/queen of hearts idea- problem is it's only August- how many more times is she going to change the theme before December? Give her a Walmart gift certificate from you and hubby- tied up in a bow and tell her to get herself something nice. And then RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! LOL