chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:19am
post #1 of

OK, so I made a cake today to thank a friend who took care of my dog last weekend. I decided on a classic, but relatively simple cake that consists of a lot of roses. Since I have a 1 year old to chase around all day, it took me a looong time to make the cake, icing and to decorate. Anyway, my friend wasn't home when I went to surprise her but I was able to catch her on her cell phone before she went home so she picked it up at my house. Her husband and little girl were with her and they all oohed and aahed over it so I was pleased that they liked it. Anyway, I meant to ask her to take a picture of it when she got home b/c my camera had just pooped out on me so I called her when I remembered, which was about 10 minutes after she left. She lives in my neighborhood so I figured I would catch her before they ate any of it, esp. since she had said they had just come from eating. When I called her, she started to laugh so I figured that the must have already dug in and started eating it, but noooooo, I was wrong. My beautiful cake had been demolished byher husband and then her daughter! It seems he got the cake home, plunked it down and promptly stuck a finger into a rose and smashed it all the way to the base! Their daughter thought that was cute and started messing with it, too. I'm sorry, maybe I'm just too sensitive, but I wish she hadn't told me what they had done. I mean, I put a lot of work and time into that stinkin' cake only to have them smash it? It's not like it was meant to be a smash cake, you know? And these are our friends. I would never allow anyone in my house to do that. It almost feels disrespectful. And I made it for her, not for her hubby. If my husband did anything like that I would be livid! Oh well, it's over. I guess I'm just a little disappointed, that's all. Thanks for the vent. icon_sad.gif

52 replies
dandelion Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:24am
post #2 of

wow i can't believe anyone would be so rude! i could possibly understand if it was just her daughter...but her husband?!?!?! somebody needs to teach him some manners!

Brendansmum Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:25am
post #3 of

Sorry your feelings were hurt. Putting that much time into something just to have someone mess it up would bother me too. I think I could have come up with a better reason as to why I couldn't take a picture. But I'm the type who is always thinking about the other person's feelings. That was very thoughful of you to take the time to make her a cake, next time just make her some chocolate chip cookies.Haha icon_smile.gif

Zamode Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:26am
post #4 of
Quote:
Quote:

Since I have a 1 year old to chase around all day, it took me a looong time to make the cake, icing and to decorate.




That is me, too!! It just took me all day to do some cakes for church.

I don't think you are being too sensitive! It was rude and childish what he did. Why, anyway?! Your friend shouldn't have laughed about it, either. You should call her and let her know you put alot of time into it and it was meant to be enjoyed not destroyed. I'm at stay at home mom now since my daughter was born and I don't have the time or the money to be making freebie cakes. I at least would like some kind of feedback and I don't get any, so my cake baking is severely limited right now. I can relate to how you feel and I am sorry it happened to you.

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:27am
post #5 of

Thanks for the kind words. I still don't understand. He is a nice guy but obviously needs a swift kick in the butt.

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:31am
post #6 of

Zamode,
I'm a SAHM and don't have many people to test my cakes out on, either, so this is what I did. I told everyone I know (which isn't much, but it's better than nothing) that if they needed a cake made for any reason that all I would charge them for is the ingredients. Just this week I got 2 "orders". It's good practice for me and all I have to put into them is my time. Everyone understands that I won't be doing this forever and it helps my diet! icon_wink.gif

Zamode Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:31am
post #7 of

What he needs is the rest of the cake shoved up his nose!

sweetcakes Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:32am
post #8 of

im so sorry you had to hear this, especially since you didnt get to take a picture of it. Unfortuanely non cake people have no clue what we give up and put into a cake, no matter how small it is. there is alot of thought, time, money and energy. Its the same feeling i get when i see brides and grooms smash that slice of cake into each others face. Its better not to know these things. But you know that you created a lovely, tasty beautiful cake from the heart.

mrsdawnwhite Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:41am
post #9 of

I can understand being ticked off.. I'm a stay at home Mom and when I'm decorating a cake that's time that I'm not playing with my kids.. I think I would just prefer not to know what happens to the cake after it leaves my house... Because I know I'll just get mad if something like that happened.. So, no, I don't think you're too sensitive I just don't think he's a very nice person!

ellyrae Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:44am

Awwwww, my heart goes out to youicon_sad.gif Don't know if this helps but you'll get your reward for your kind gesture and hard work, and they'll get their "concequences" for their lack of feelings and respect towards a wonderful gift of love from the heart! Don't worry, they will have to answer for this one day! Chin up! You should be proud of your part in this!!!! And, you can still let her know how this really made you feel and one day, have her in your kitchen and tell her what to do while SHE bakes, mixes, and "tries" to decorate a cake!!! Then give it a good smashing!!!LOL (sorry, just had to let that out...ahhhhhhh icon_smile.gif

blessings,
elly

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:50am

LOL! Thanks so much, everyone! I feel lots better now! I just wrote her an email and here it is...

"I hope you were still able to enjoy the cake after Frank smashed it. Make him feel guilty by telling him it took me most of the day to make it."

Short and simple! I'll let you know her response. icon_wink.gif

AmberCakes Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 5:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by chocomama

LOL! Thanks so much, everyone! I feel lots better now! I just wrote her an email and here it is...

"I hope you were still able to enjoy the cake after Frank smashed it. Make him feel guilty by telling him it took me most of the day to make it."

Short and simple! I'll let you know her response. icon_wink.gif




Now that was nicely said and BLUNT! See, you even go out of your way to make an email with the best way to say it. You are like me! Too nice and you get stomped on! Sometimes I just want to give up on people but my HEART is too kind.

Oh, I have a sister in law like your friend-we are close enough that she would have told me that too, but I think she would have exagerated abit just to be crazy. Maybe she exagerated on the husband smashing up the cake, Maybe he could not resist that BC rose and just put his finger in one of those and the little girl thought it was funny and did the same. But, the point is-I would not want to be told something like that.

Keep your head up! thumbs_up.gif

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 12:38pm

diva,
I really hope she was just exaggerating. And when I wrote her that email, I thought about putting one of these... icon_wink.gif at the end but think that leaving it out may actually make her wonder if I was just joking around or not. We'll see!
Thanks, again!

Kitagrl Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 12:47pm

Wow...looking forward to hearing the response! That was a very unfeeling thing to do to you, at the very least....

I am a SAHM too most of the week...with three little boys. I usually bake during the day but then stay up as late as it takes to finish my stuff. I would hate to find out I stayed up until 4am only to have someone destroy my work!

Today I have three cakes (plus some extra little smash cakes) to make, as well as errands to run tonight and a parent teacher conference to go to! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! icon_biggrin.gif

cookieclaire Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 1:05pm

I know how it feels to have someone not appreciate your gift. Some people don't realize what goes in to a cake. I remember one summer making a cake for a friend and she regifted it-how do I know? I was at the party where it was served (old named scraped off and applied new) I was hurt and so angry when I got home I even cried. I hope that you feel better today.

daranaco Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 1:06pm

chocomama - I love your email response! It's still friendly while getting your point across. Maybe next time your friend will be more appreciative of your efforts!

TooMuchCake Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 1:06pm

After doing such a mean thing to your cake, do you need to take your dog to the vet and make sure (s)he's okay? icon_eek.gif Some people are so rude... I'm sorry it was your friend who was rude to you. Please let us know what the response was to your email.

Deanna

P.S. - Cookieclaire, I can't believe that happened!! I've never heard of such gall before. Grrr!!!!!!

heychele Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 1:09pm

I can't wait to hear her response either.
All of us know the time and work that you put into making the cake,can we get a group hug lol
Seriously,
It upset me to read what happened and I didn't even make it!
Make sure you let us know.

wendysue Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 1:18pm

I can't believe she told you what they'd done to the cake. That would have bothered me too.
Years ago before I made cakes I went and paid $7 (which for a college student seemed like a fortune) for a 6" cake to give at a baby shower. We decorated it and made it cute in honor of the baby. Wasn't the only cake, but we wanted a little one to send home with the parents.
A couple days later the mommy to be called laughing and said that when they arrived home after the party the cake went face down in the parking lot as she was getting out of the car. I remember wondering why she would have told me that. I knew it was an accident, but what was so funny about it? I knew her well and know that she never would have done anything to intentionally hurt my feelings, so I was able to blow it off, but the laughter is what really got me. If I'd been in her shoes I would have kept this a secret. icon_wink.gif

Kiddiekakes Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 1:24pm

I don't think you are being sensitive at all.I think what you friend's husband did is rude and her laughing at it is the kicker.....I guess that will be the last time you make a cake for them!!! Hey...maybe if she needs a cake next time for a birthday or something you could reply by saying.."Hopefully this time you won't smash the cake to pieces..." She'll get the picture!!

veejaytx Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 2:28pm

No I don't think you are being overly sensitive, and I don't think I could have been as nice to this person as you were!

I'm still upset that my niece has never even mentioned the cake I made for her birthday last October (I couldn't go to the party), much less thanked me, even though I've seen her several times since then. Now that may be being overly sensitive!

We'd all like to know what the response was to your email. Telling you what happened was unnecessary under the circumstances...laughing about it was just adding insult to injury! Janice

mmdd Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 2:34pm

Is this the same friend that cleaned up after the dog?

If so........hmmm...maybe she was cursing the whole entire time.

What disturbs me even more, is not only did she allow it to continue, she laughed about it.

I do feel that if you said something to her about it, she's probably think you're psycho, but....I don't know if you should reconsider your friendship, I mean, can you even look at her the same way?

good luck with whatever you choose to do, but I wouldn't make her any more cakes w/o getting some $$$.

And, don't you even let this bother you!!! Life's too short!!!

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 3:28pm

OMG, I love you all! You are just the sweetest! My husband couldn't figure out why I was still upset a few hours afterward so I tried to explain but I don't think he got it. He should, since he knows I've been having neck & back troubles lately and that my hand falls asleep when I work it too much so making even the 20 roses that I did was kind of hard. (Off to see my dreamy chiropractor today! icon_lol.gif )

Yes, this was the friend who cleaned up my doggy's messes last week. I haven't really known her very long, only since last September, but I do consider her a friend. I don't know why she laughed, only that when I called I think that the mess had just been made. Who knows? Like I said, I would freak if my husband did that to something of mine. I know that her household is more laid-back than mine and that there don't seem to be a lot of rules for her daughter and that she's a bit spoiled b/c my friend doesn't think she can have more kiddos. (Her words, not mine.) But, obviously, hubby doesn't have an excuse for his actions. I really can't even picture him doing what she said he did b/c he's more "uptight" in my view. I've made things for them to taste-test before and nothing like this has happened, that I know, so I don't get it. I would have thought that my friend would have been mortified, but, then again, she laughs at things her kid does that I find annoying. To each his own, I guess.

You're the best! icon_biggrin.gif

Kos Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 3:40pm

I think your friend was rude for laughing at the situation but honestly, I don't think men in general, understand the concept of creating something out of joy and love for a friend. A simple beer would do for them. icon_lol.gif The best I could compare the feeling to would be if a husband spent all day washing/waxing/cleaning a car, and you hopped in and hit every puddle you could find, and then parked it under a big ole tree loaded with berry-eating birds. icon_eek.gif Your friend didn't understand that it wasn't just a cake you gave but your time and creativity. That's a shame. I find that most people that aren't crafty or creative are clueless to the time involved. Sorry you had a bad experience. Next time, hand her a beer! icon_lol.gif


kos

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 3:46pm

Kos, LOL! You're probably right, but her husband is into cooking and has been helpful in the past so I never thought he could be so rude. I guess just about every man can be a jerk at some point, right? icon_razz.gif And she does lots of crafting herself. Oh well, I'm slowly getting over it - with everyone's help here! I really didn't expect this type of response...I thought everyone would tell me to get a grip! icon_lol.gif

prettycake Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 3:54pm

Maybe this woman is just clueless what goes into a cake...
Your effort, time and expensive ingredients, thats' why she allow this to happen.. what a stupid thing of her to do.. did they at least eat it after they demolish your beautiful cake ? Don't make her another one..she didn't deserve it after all..I guess you wasted your time making something beautiful then just be destroyed by careless people.. icon_smile.gif

KHalstead Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:11pm

cookieclaire........I would have told the chick "thanks for the compliment of using MY cake for a gift.......but if you would have just told me you needed another cake I could have made you one to give to her".....obviously she knew she didn't have the talent to do anything on the cake except write the name.......I would take it as a total compliment...not disrespect!!!

Kitagrl Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:48pm

Hmmm I don't suppose its *possible* that she didn't give you the real reason she couldn't get a photo of the cake? When you said you can't picture her dh doing that, it made me wonder...

Oh well.

mikaza Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:56pm

I know this would probably annoy me too after putting so much time and effort into it...but in an effort to always see the positive in things...you made the cake for her to enjoy. Even though she didnt enjoy it the way you would have (or would have hoped she had)--it does seem that she and her family enjoyed using it the way they decided to.

You cant control what happens after you hand a cake over to somebody--she enjoyed it, thats what really matters. Its a whooole lot better than getting a complaint that it fell apart or didnt taste good!

chocomama Posted 7 Apr 2006 , 4:58pm

I thought the same thing, mikaza. It still sucks. icon_wink.gif

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