I read some of the other post of how their teens are emotionally draining, and I feel so drained as well. I have three teen boys, and my oldest gives me the gray hairs. On the outside he's just wonderful, good grades, athletic, funny. My DH and I are trying to get him to take some responsibility and think for himself (too much to ask?) All he EVER thinks about, and I mean ever is playing sports. He forgets his chores around the house, doesn't take any interest in driving a car, finding a job, learning how to do anything that he might need later in life. Literally he only thinks and talks about sports. Am I unrealistic to expect this young man to get his stuff together? Shortly he will be going off to college at a huge expense and to be quite honest I just don't know if he will put forth any effort or just drop out after a short time. I feel like no one else would feel this way about their child.

Cabincake I know how you feel...although my son is only 13...you can say...."Son can you please take out the trash" his response..."Did you say something about basketball?" lol All he EVER thinks about is sports....My DH is at his wits end....when DH was 13 he mowed grass for extra money. He helped his dad do odd jobs around the house. Our son...well....he rolls out of bed early alright...but not to help his dear dad...to maybe catch a sports show, play his PS2 (all sports games) and then he asks if he can stay with his grandma (because his friends all live by her and he can play basketball all day). Husband is getting ready to pull his hair out. Just what do ya do? Well maybe it just clicks all at once, maybe just one day your son will say....I need more than sports. Cant ride around on a bicycle his whole life

Some of these posts ring true with me as well. I hear so many people talk about how wonderful everything is and you begin to wonder if you are the only one who is miserable. I have a full time night job, and I like it, I am paid well. I don't have a degree so I know I could never change jobs and be making anything like what I am now. I run my cake business from home in the rest of my time. About 7 years ago I was bored all the time and hated to do anything at home when I was off and DH said that I needed a hobby. Well, out of the blue I decided to take a cake decorating class. I have no idea why, I don't have a creative bone in my body. It was interesting to learn and never thought I'd have a use for it, but inevitably someone tasted a cake and just had to have one, hence a business was born. I have gotten so very busy from it that now DH says that I don't ever have time for him anymore.

DH is self employed as a contractor doing home improvements and some new construction. He couldn't handle working for the his boss anymore, and I supported him in the decision because I had begun to hate when he came home because he was so angry all the time. I was terrified, but I was able to pay all of the bills on my income fairly easily. I quickly found out that DH is not a motivated person. I handle the household bills, but he does have a truck payment, cell phone, and business insurance. Now, almost 7 years later, I get $300/mo out of him and the rest is for his bills. That's not even 1/2 of our mortgage, let alone the rest of it all. I figured that if I continued to support him in his business, that he would work hard to make it grow, but I was wrong. He doesn't have the drive to succeed that I do. Don't get me wrong, he works and does a great job, but he doesn't actively seek work or bust his a$$ working like I do.

I work long hours and our schedules are opposite so we don't have much time together, and that has caused many problems. First, my hobby turned business has made me fatter than ever. Second, I'm so busy that I have no time for his needs (which I have determined is only sex, it's all he needs to survive). This last item has led to me finding out last year that he was cheating with one of his customers for over a year. I have, for many years, lost all interest in sex, so I blame myself for all of our problems. He and I pretty much do not communicate, we have no common interests thus nothing to talk about. Anytime either of us tries to talk about US, I get upset and he gets mad, then I just blame myself even more. It's a vicious circle.

The only way I can "talk" to him is if I write down my feelings and leave it for him to read. I did this on Friday and I know he read it but hasn't said a word about it to me. One thing about us is that we are opposite in personality than most males and females. He is the needy one wanting attention and I am the independent one. I'm at my wits end some days.

Thought I'd share another resource..... hope people don't mind. I keep saying - my life isn't perfect, but if I can help someone else out, I like to try.

www.family.org is run by Focus on the Family - a Christian organization. It has some marriage resources & also resources on raising kids (including teenagers!).

As far as marriage, my husband and I are going to a marriage counselor today and on Saturday we're going to a marriage conference (www.moodyconferences.com). Both are Christian things - I know I'm not living the Abundant Life God wants for me but without Him in my life I don't think I'd have any hope at all. My husband and I also belong to a small group of people that get together for Bible study and fellowship (fun). We haven't been in it long but it's nice to meet with other adults and have some fun together as a couple.

I keep praying for everyone on here and I hope you'll all say a prayer for me too - especially that this marriage counselor and conference may open our eyes and help us to really see how we can be better partners to each other (my husband and I). Thanks!

I went to a counselor on my own a couple times and never really felt like it helped me at all. I got DH to go with me for a few sessions and it was horrible. Bottom line is that he cannot communicate at all. The counselor would ask a question and he couldn't even answer. I even tried a mild anti-depressant, and I never saw any changes in myself. I've tried lots of things to attempt to increase my libido and that doesn't work either. Thankfully we do not have and do not want any children. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to just give up entirely.

right now i dont know it looks like every time i turn sround something is happining last yeay it will be a year on april 19 my home house burned and lost a little dauschaund in the fire the day before my husband insisted that i keep his brothers step-grandson and nobody wants to keep the baby and he cried and i stayed on tessie the puppy because i was afraid she would bite him and i got mad at my husband because he said he would help me and he turned around and left and that night the house burned and i went back to try to find her and couldnt we had a male dauschaund and i found him under a tractor and we have had nothing but problems i was married for 17 yrs. to 1 husband and had a son and i thought i was going to the best drs. and had a great pregency and i wouldnt go into labor they gave me something to induce labor didnt work and his oxygen was cut off and he has ceberal palsey and stayed with his father for 17 yrs. and got enough curage to get a divorce and my son and i were alone for 2 yrs. and i met my 2 nd husband and we have been married for 14 yrs and i have had had 2 absuseive marriage and i have had enough the only thing good is my son he is my life thanks dorothy

I love my life!
My life has not been a cake walk I will admit. but I love my life!!!!
My teen daughter has her days BUT I HAVE HER. she is mine and for that I am blessed.
My older boys don't call home enough but when they do they never hang up with out an "I love you mom" I AM BLESSED> My husband prays with me every morning before he leaves for work. after I have gladly gotten up and made his lunch at 4 am. I am blessed to have him.
I am not homeless, I am not hopeless, I have money to pay my bills. I have a home so I can have the bills.

Its wierd I know but I remember being homeless. with no money to pay bills my DH lost his job and we and our 3 children lived in the woods in a 10 ft camper. But we had eachother.... I remember one day picking apples off the trees so my kids could eat something. SO I AM BLESSED.
Life is much different now. But none the less I have always been blessed.

Yes, I too, am blessed. Life goes up and down, but it's surprising how quickly things can change. I've been at rock bottom, and felt the best I think it's possible to feel.

What I'd like to know is: how are all you previous posters doing now? The posts were 2007. Did any of you change jobs, repair relationships, move house, have babies? How is live going now??

I hate my life too.

Single mum to a beautiful 15 month old son. Hid dad left me 2 weeks before I had him for someone else. I later found out hed been cheating through my whole pregnancy. So i had to pack up and get back to my home town, 5 hours drive away, heavily preganant, praying i wouldnt give birth on the side of the highway somewhere. 1 week after i left hospital with my son, my ex was "engaged" then "apperently" was having another baby. all lies, just little games he enjoyed playing with me. Anyway, I went through a very rough [patch. Was diagnosed with PND, my son was extremly unwell, and i had to start my life from scratch. no house or furntiure, except for my sons stuff. fun times.

Flash forward to now. yeah i still hate my life. everyday is bloody sturggle for me. its the same thing inside and out everyday. my best friends are dr. phil and oprah. HAHAHA. no, but seriously, they are. I lost all my "friends", of course they come to me when their world falls apart (im apparently like their second mum) but when everything is fine with them, i have noone. yay friends!

Anyway, so then my ex spreads rumours through his family saying he didnt think my son was his etc etc. i was forced into a dna test, which was the mpost degrading thing of my life.. of course it came back positive.. 99.98% thankyou very much. but the damage was done. my own mother questioned me. He has totally ignored my son. pretending he doesnt exist. He talks to his other son and his mother. but i seem to have done something to make him hate my little boy. and i hate it. i dont know what i could have done. He was the f**kwit, but has managed to turn it all on me??? I HATE MEN!!!!

well anyway, i remind myself that so many people have it so much worse off than me! sooooooooo much worse! and i try and think that this is only for now, im hopefully going to uni next year.. but its just so hard getting through the here and now. I dont know. its just hard. the whole no social contact is really getting to me. id love to work, even in something i hate because at least id see people!, but i cant for childcare reasons.

anyway, sorry needed to vent. im sorry nto people who have it worse off than me, and i am thankfull for what i do have. but its just hard at the moment.

When I was getting divorced, my now-husband-then-boyfriend heard me complaining about my job (which was a really good job) and how I wanted to find a new one. he told me that many times, people feel trapped in their lives. In my case, I was "trapped" by the divorce and the bills and the crap the ex was pulling.

I couldn't change what the ex was pulling. I couldn't change the bills that were due (they werent' going to go away). I couldnt' change how long it took the attorneys or the courts to do something in the divorce.

but I COULD change my job and boy, wouldn't THAT make me feel like I've "done something".

It all made perfect sense and I realized I DIDN'T really hate my job, I was just fed up with everything around me and projecting it onto my job .... the only thing I felt I could control by changing it.

There are some jobs where you wanna just say, "This job sux" and you're ready to move on, for whatever reason. But you listed a number (!) of other issues going on.

So I'd ask you to really evaluate all the stuff around you and see if you really hate your job .... or if you're just projecting?

yep life can stink

it's a rose garden -- beautiful moments embittered, punctured and protected by a boatload of thorns. the moments make it worth it tho'

---
it is a Sisyphean task -- so some humor. (#6 very appropo)
http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/sisyphus.asp

and another
http://knittinginterrupted.com/2008/01/22/i-am-sisyphus/

I hope things will get better for the op. I just want to say that I've learned to be content whatever my situation. Happiness is fleeting.

I have days where I don't like my life. I brought up 4 great sons loved my job, everything was rosie. Then I was diagnosed with a rare condition that's hardly been heard of in the U.K. I've had 4 brain surgeries and was told at my last appointment with my neurosurgeon that after my next scans they are going to be discussing with me 2 more surgeries. There's no cure, I'm slowly loosing strength and possibly will end up paralyzed. I can't do the many things I used to be able to do, cooking a meal (can't lift heavy pans), gardening, decorating. I can't take my grandchildren to the park or the shops.

BUT I can watch the children play, they come to me with such happy faces we have great fun together. They love when I'm having a good day and do baking with them, that is the one thing I can still do when I'm feeling well enough. My KA does all the hard work my DH lifts pans in and out the oven and washes the pots. What more could I ask for?? when the day comes that I can no longer bake that's when I'll say I really HATE my life.

Kizrash

I think you have an amazing attitude, making the most of your life and enjoying the small stuff when you have so much to deal with.

I wish you well with your future ops, and hope to see lots more cakes in you gallery !

Take care

Lyndsey xx

I'm in the same place with a job I hate, someone wrote soul destroying and thats a very good description. But I also make too much money to easily walk away from it. My life is adjusted to that income - house, car, morgages and so on....
Has been with this big global company for 10 years and has worked my way up wthout any formal education/degree. I'm 38 yo as well - so maybe you are right - mid-life crisis?

I have really bad problems with my back, shoulders, hips - and my doctor tells me it's because I'm so unhappy and my body is trying to make me change my life.....And I just don't know what to do?? I'm in so much pain I can't sit for more than a few minutes at a time so I stand at my desk all day and do all my meetings standing or laying on the floor. Is this what life's supposed to be?
I have a wonderful husband and daughter and I should be just thankful and happy - but every day I have to go to work makes me miserable.
I'm aking 4 days off the coming week to try to make a decision - I must change now but I can'ät see clearly what I should do.

Wow! There sure are some sad stories here. For those of you who are struggling, ya'll will be in my prayers. I hope that one day you are blessed with peace and contentment.

I don't hate my my life, but do have moments of great sadness. I had a very rough childhood and was a teen mom. I had my oldest son at 17 and another at 19. I left home after I had my first and moved around the country from 1 marine base to another. I had some financial struggles and no one to rely on but myself as my mother was always wanting what little I had. I grew up with much poverty around me, and didn't have much myself but was always willing to share what little I had. But this time I had my 2 babies to support and I needed to put them first, this put a major rift between my mother and I. During this time I was lonely (my boys father was off somewhere living up his young years), almost broke, tired, and stressed (this was around 9-11 and I was worried about being deployed). Fast forward.........
I will soon be 30 but.... I am a co-owner of a major company, I have my own home, I own 3 of my vehicles, my 3 boys are beautiful, kind, healthy, highly intelligent children. I have been truly blessed to have been given the opportunities to get where I currently am, it has not been without struggles and sacrifices though. Am happy with what I have achieved in the past 12+ years. But I do have my days where I get tired of the constant rush. I have an hour commute from home to work then I always have to rush home as all my boys are heavily involved in sports, we rush home after practice/games, eat, shower, and then bed. Then to top it all of there is always someone that needs my help. That wants a favor etc...etc...etc.... Sometimes I don't want to go home for the simple fact that my laundry is piled up, or I know that house is looking a bit cluttered and I don't want to deal with it some days. I have a husband that helps as much as possible, but it is just that we don't have very many hours in the day.
My life has been a rollercoaster the past few years; I have had my highs and lows. I have been clinically depressed, still see a therapist. Spouse cheated and other %#*^@ female ended up pregnant, my brother stole massive amounts of money from me, wrecked my car, my sister had a high risk pregnancy, nephew passed April 18 2009 on the day he was born, I flew cross country to get to her that day(she was all alone), during that time her car was repoed as well as my mothers(guess who had to pay to get those out), paid for my nephews funeral as my mother was also facing eviction(I paid that bill , as my sister needed someplace to recover, brother had 24 felonies he was charged with(I had to get a lawyer for him), my mother will not talk to me(because I would not allow my brother to stay in my home, because it turns out he was the person behind the break in, in my home). I have had many highs and lows but during the past few years I have begun to think that I have to roll with it. The Lord has a path for me, and I should not question it to much, but try to make the best of it and help as many as I can along the way.
Because when I think about it: I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy, and crazy little monsters that love me. There are many in this world with much less than I.

j-black - thank you for sharing your story, it's truly inspirational. I wish you aand all others blessings, love and happiness

I get stressed like anyone else, but I hated my life like you too.......so I gave it away to HIM <-------------- since then, I figure it's not MY life to complain about. So I accept every new day as a new challenge to defeat and learn from. It's so much easier to enjoy your life when you're not living it for yourself but for someone else's Glory.

I also find it very comforting to realize that there IS a season for everything, it won't always be a bed of roses...but I know that eventually Joy WILL come in the morning and there will be a season of happiness.

I can't say I hate my life, but I certainly don't love it right now! I am a single mom of 2 awesome daughters (12 and 13) - they are the light of my life and sometimes the only things that make me want to get out of bed in the morning! I have a few friends, but no one that I'm really close to. I work full time at a pretty dull job, the pay is ok and it isn't particularly stressful. I would love to be able to work there part time and make cakes full time. Unfortunately I haven't gotten child support in over 2 months and am so far in the hole financially right now I am drowning. Thank God for my parents helping me out as much as they can but its so discouraging and I hate to be a drain on them. I feel like I just can't get catch up, much less get ahead. I keep telling myself to be happy for the things I DO have, such as my kids and our health, having a job, etc. I know things could be much worse but I do have the occasional pity party for myself.. I have faith that things will work out eventually, but right now its hard to stay positive. Thanks for this chance to vent tho and to see that I'm not alone!!

My family has been struggling financially for nearly two years now. We have three kids and a mortgage, and my husband has been laid off for 20 months. Tonight while at a friend's house, my fifteen year old car wouldn't start, needs a new starter. But my pal drove us home, another pal is helping us get the car fixed, and another one is loaning me her car to drive for a while. We are blessed.

The other day while driving, my husband and I happened across a replay on the radio of a holocaust (sp?) survivor. When he was done speaking, we looked at each other and said, "We don't really have any major problems, do we?" Yes, we struggle each and every month to keep the lights on and the babies fed, but the babies are all healthy, warm, and safe at home with us, and throughout all of it, we love each other and are still together. We are blessed.

God Bless each and every one of my cake buddies that are struggling right now. Even if it's only in cyberspace, you have a friend in me and I'll be praying for you tonight.

Life is good.

I was miserable about a year ago and after much drama (with husband, life, etc..) I gave up and told God to just take over b/c I obviously wasn't able to handle it on my own.

I've never been happier (though I still have sporadic downer days like yesterday..nothing was going well and Aunt Flo stopped by)...but over all I have never been more carefree or content.


I am so sorry you're so miserable...we're close, you should move down to San Diego; I'll be you're buddy and your husband can garden here, we have 3 acres

KHalstead... what a beautiful attitude : D