Okay, one more!! Telling on myself here.... Someone posted in this thread and she had all her kids names and the years they were born in her signature....well it said SOMETHING like this:

mommy of:
Childs name 99, Childs name 02?? etc...

I thought for a split second...how in the world could she have a kid that's 99 years old?? OH MAN!! HOW STUPID!!

One of my friends was out shopping with her sister, and the sister asked her, "So, is tuna considered meat?"

Before I started this, really decorating cakes, I had no clue how long it took. I would watch the lady in the store it took her 15 minutes max. The last cake I did I under planed for and it took me 2 hours to decorate.
The one you make at home from the box... 1 1/2 hours to bake and use can frosting. So from just leaving the general population of non-cake people, I would have asked the same morning question. In fact I have a whole new respect for my Cake Lady.

I've so enjoyed reading this thread! It has made me think of so many phrases we use day in and out that are meant in one way but sound totally off. This is my example:

I'm at a birthday party, setting up a 12" square cake with a cowboy hat cake on top of it. Then of course there are the little finishing touches that have to be piped once the construction is completed. I swear to you, while I'm standing there working away I have *mulitiple* people stop to ask "OH! Did you make that?"

Now I know they meant that in a complimentary manner and I responded as such. But the real thought going through my mind was "Nope! I just saw the bags of icing sitting here and thought it might be fun to take 'em for a test drive!"

Try this one.....

One year I had a demo table at the state fair. A culinary student had been doing Ice sculptures, and left one on display on the table behind me.

About every 3rd person through the door passed by asking...Is that ice?

By the end of the morning, I wanted to say no, it is glass and it is so hot in here it is melting. Talk about 'here's your sign!

luv em all, cracked up through all the pages. I've been racking my brain trying to think of something, some nutty person I've met... nothing! Is my brain not working or do I have really good taste in friends?

My youngest daughter, aged 7, is named Josephine. I loved the name and it really fits her. But most "Josephines" are over 80 yrs old...

Hubby went to pick up some antibiotics for her at the pharmacy. The pharmacist got a funny look on his face and asked, "Is this for your mother in law?" Hubby said, "No, my 7 year old" and the pharmacist said, "Oh, I saw "00" as her birthdate and was thinking "1900".

When hubby told me this story I almost peed in my pants! I just got this mental image of my 107 year old mother living with us and giving her liquid amoxicillin! Bwah-ha-ha!

Shannon

I haven't read all of these so forgive me if this is a repeat. . .

have you ever been at an event, restaurant, etc and go into the bathroom and a friend comes in an recgonizes your shoes under the stall wall and asks - you ready for this - "hey! what are you doing?" or "hey! what's up?". Do they really want to know if i'm going #1 or #2 or did they not think before asking the question!

Then there's my SIL - we're eating carrot cake with cream cheese frosting and she asks "Why do they call it carrot cake?" "Oh, there's really carrots in carrot cake?" yes! and there are apples in apple pie and potatoes in potato salad!

what a fun read!

Debbie

Without even reading your post, just the title, my answer is YES! Thanks for the laughs.

I'll tell one on myself. We always had a dishwasher when I was growing up, so when I moved away to go to college was the first time I'd ever done dishes by hand. My roomate and I had a little dinner party for our fellas, and I was washing the dishes afterwards.

One of the guys (my future husband, actually) asks why I am only rubbing soap on the TOPS of the plates. I reply that we used a brand new, clean table cloth so the bottoms of the plates should not be dirty. He just stares at me a long time before pointing out that the dirty dishes are all stacked up in the sink, so he thinks maybe the bottoms could use a scrub as well!!!!

This just happened 2 weeks ago. I went to Office Depot. Minding my own business, I took my file folders up front and handed to the cashier. She looked at me and said "I know that this is not a compelling thing to say, but you look just like the lady I caught digging in the dumpster out back a few minutes ago." (mind you there are people in line behind me that are hearing this). I was so dumbfounded. She saw the look on my face and said "I was thinking that you sure cleaned up fast". (as if she needed to say anything else!!!!!). Finally, I managed to say, well it wasn't me to which she said "oh, I know....she wasn't looking for food, just probably some broken furniture". Does this lady not know when to shut up!!!!!!! Well, nerves and the stupidness of it all made me get hysterical laughing. I laughed all the way to my car.

Oh, by the way, I was dressed nicely...makeup...the works.

When I got back to the office, I told my husband and son. My son said I should have said. "oh yes, that was me and I was looking for your next job!"

Can you believe this??????

As I am laughing at these my little 23 month old keeps running back here to see if I am okay? I literally have a tear running down my face!

Thanks guys!

I was at the grocery store the other day buying eggs. There was a girl there who was probably about ten or so with her grandmother. All of a sudden I hear her squeal and start jumping up and down trying to get her grandmother's attention. When her grandmother asks what she wants, the girl grabs a dozen brown eggs and says, "I want these, I didn't know they made chocolate eggs." The grandmother looked horrified and just started walking off as fast as she could. I was trying so hard not to laugh I had to hold my breath until the little girl was on the next isle.

Okay my turn.....

Out of my lower peripheral vision I saw a baner ad on the bottom of a page that totally freaked me out! It said "Partner-ship for a DOUG- Free America" I was like what ? My first thought was what the heck would I do around here without Doug's help!! I read it again and it said DRUG-free!!

That being said I feel silly but it reminds me to say thanks again to those who help me out from time to time (or lots as the case may be!!)

I have one too:

I work at a non-profit and my office is next to the merchandising division. Once in a while, they unpack and look over potential items to add to the catalog. Recently they opened a big box with a ceramic dog biscuit holder, water bowl and other doggie items. I kept getting this strange whiff of mint as I walked by. One of the girls told me "some of these dog toys are peppermint scented/flavored" so I just said "ah, thats it."

About a week later, the unopened box of rubber balls was totalling overwhelming. I walked by and without thinking said, "God Holly, I can really smell your balls!!"

We all laughed until we cried, because after I said it, I realized what I said and turned as red as a beet.


Oh one last thing, if you are enjoying these you may want to check out:
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com

It's amazing the things that are overheard!

My MIL showed her stupid last week in yet another attempt to pretend that she knows about EVERYTHING.

My boys were riding their dirt bikes and we were talking about how they were doing. The little one just started riding this month and my older child is on a new, much bigger bike so they're both learning. I commented that because of the size of the new bike my kid can't lean it as much as he could the little bike, he doesn't have the body weight (he's very skinny).

She suggested tying a sandbag onto the front of the bike.

Nothing like making the bike even heavier for him.

Okay, I'll tell on myself.

I was in a public bathroom, and someone else walked in and went into the stall next to me.

Lady: Hey, what's up?
Me, startled: Um, nothing. What's up with you?
Lady: Nothing much, I'm at the store picking up a few things.
Me, confused: Okaaay, that's nice.
Lady: Let me let you go, some nutjob in the stall next to me is trying to talk to me. Ok, bye.

The lady was on her cell phone! How was I supposed to know?? I didn't want to be rude to her, but I guess that's what I get!

geez, who talks on the phone while their in public bathroom of all places

omg - sorry endymion, but I'm laughing at you :LOL:

OKay, now I have to tell on myself.

My brother used to work a Fazoli's and when he first started they gave him a paper copier of the register keys - so he could learn them. Well, as I'm looking at it one button says
CHEESE
CAKE

WEll, I ask my brother - what's cheesecake? Dude, he gave me the weridest, are you an idiot look! And I was serious, I asked him again. Then after saying it like 2 more times, I thought - oh, cheesecake!

Here's a story. One day a person asked my SIL what ethnicity she was to have gotten such pretty blue eyes. She replied "French". He then asked her if her mother was French and she said "no, but my husband is" He walked away not knowing what to say. She then turns to me and said "how stupid was he. Doesn't he know when you get married, you BECOME what your spouse is?"

I turned to her and said trying not to laugh "Wow, he really is stupid. Everybody knows THAT!!!"

By the way, she home schools her 3 kids.

It's people like that that give the rest of us a bad name...

It is quite funny, though...

OMG!!! Too funny!!!

This happened about three years ago, but my husband and I still laugh at it...There was a news report that a woman had called the police because the Taliban had sent her a package (I guess she thought that terrorists in Afghanistan were targeting random people in the mid-Atlantic for some reason.) When the police went to her house they discovered that she had recived a package from Telebrands, which I guess was something that she had ordered from t.v. The news anchors were trying so hard not to laugh at having to read the story, we thought they were going to lose it.

My other favorite was the two brothers who were gored at the running of the bulls last year. The newspaper had a picture of them both turning around looking at the bull, who is ready to stick one horn in each butt at the same time. The headline said "Bull gores two Americans at once." (Go bull!) Anyway, the funny thing was one of their comments...That he guessed that they had "underestimated the danger and the speed of the whole thing..." DUUUUUHHHH I still have the picture, I can't bring myself to throw it out with their idiot statement.