goodcakefairy Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 1:07am
post #1 of

What do you do when the bride is perfectly lovely, but her mom's a PITA?

Background, a friend of the family is getting married this summer. I'm not particularly close to the bride, but she knows my sister and knows I do cakes. She's a very nice girl. She's been asking about my portfolio and what I would do for a wedding like hers. I gave her some ideas and some price ranges -INCREDIBLY REASONABLE- think cost of materials plus a little extra to buy myself something pretty - like a fondant punch cutter.

The bride wants to go ahead and book me (like I'm overwhelmed with orders, haha) but her mother is hedging. I'm not a professional, she said. I don't have enough experience. She'd rather go to someone who's "known" for their cakework. I said good luck since we live in a small town and the only lady "known" for her work retired three years ago.

Now I'm not particularly offended by this because she's right. I'm not a professional and I don't have a lot of experience. I'm just a very enthusiastic amateur with a reasonable view of how much stress goes into wedding cake planning and execution.

I also know MOB would be a pain to work for and would change her mind every five minutes about she thought her daughter wanted, then blame me for not guessing which version she wanted as the final result.

So do I ignore MOB and book the wedding, with the understanding that my phone number is never to be given to the MOB? Or do I say sorry, I'm booked that weekend and save myself the stress?

Thoughts? Helpful anecdotes?

17 replies
MelC Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 1:14am
post #2 of

Take the order... and make it clear (to the bride anyhow) that the bride's word is the final decision... and that you'll only take direction from her... to "avoid confusion." If you end up hearing from the MOB, let her go on as much as she likes - politely offer feedback when you see an issue, then gently suggest that you'll talk to the bride and let her pick option A or B from all of the 'wonderful' ideas that the MOB has suggested.

Cakeman66 Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 1:19am
post #3 of

The MOB isn't the one getting married, the bride is, she should always have the final say so.

It's like parent who get too involved in their kids sporting activities. Maybe the parent is paying, and maybe a say so is nice to listen to, but they don't get final say so in what's done. They'll only embarrass the child.

What to do? Talk exclusively with the Bride. If she chose you, then the MOB should be happy enough with that. Obviously she isn't or won't be though.

Good luck.

Jenn123 Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 1:20am
post #4 of

If you are positive you can't get along with Mom and aren't anxious to do it... tell them you are booked. (or raise your prices! HA HA) There is no reason to stress yourself out to be nice to the bride.

It brings to mind the MOB that told me the cake wasn't white enough. She said she wanted it to be like the cupcakes in the case beside her. Well.... the icing was out of the same bowl! She made such a fuss, I almost threw her out but refrained out of respect for the bride. She said she knew it wasn't going to be right before she came in the door. If people are looking for things to be wrong...they will always find something.

If you need the order...draw it out as exactly as you can and make them sign their approval with every change. Tell them no changes allowed after a certain date.

Best of Luck!

goodcakefairy Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 1:41am
post #5 of

Jenn123-
Wait, the icing wasn't white enough or the cakes?
How could she see that from the outside? icon_confused.gif

Jenn123 Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 1:52am
post #6 of

Sorrrrrrrry! It was the icing. I don't know how you get white shortening, white powdered sugar and clear vanilla any whiter... icon_rolleyes.gif

Roxy531985 Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 8:41pm
post #7 of

I agree with everyone ... take direction ONLY from the bride, and have all changes written and signed ... as far as you being an amateur, from what I see in your pics, I think you will do a wonderful job!

Roxy531985 Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 8:42pm
post #8 of

I agree with everyone ... take direction ONLY from the bride, and have all changes written and signed ... as far as you being an amateur, from what I see in your pics, I think you will do a wonderful job!

Cake_Geek Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 10:14pm
post #9 of

I agree with everyone. Be polite to the MOB but just reitterate that the bride has the final say. Even if the MOB says "bride wants this" tell her you need to hear directly from the bride or groom.

Cakeman66 Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 10:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barefoot_Contessa

I agree with everyone. Be polite to the MOB but just reitterate that the bride has the final say. Even if the MOB says "bride wants this" tell her you need to hear directly from the bride or groom.




I say, never trust the man, wait, what am I saying? icon_lol.gif

I mean, the groom won't always get every detail the bride wants because he may not understand it all and he's got stuff on his mind too, I'm sure.

prettycake Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 10:45pm

if this MOB is not paying for this cake, then tell her to shut up ! I wouldn't take it if I were you.. because she will find all sorts of "defects" on your cake just to criticize you and your cake, although I'm sure you will do a great job. Find a very reasonable excuse to tell your friend.. icon_smile.gif

tripletmom Posted 11 Jan 2006 , 10:54pm

If you do go ahead and take the order I have one word...CONTRACT! This is between you and the bride and that way you are doing some major CYB (covering your butt!).

Doug Posted 12 Jan 2006 , 12:39am

ok..please help the cluesless here.

now fully up to speed on the abbreviations.

what is a PITA ?

(if answer is not appropriate for public post, just PM me.)

thanks!

aliciaL_77 Posted 12 Jan 2006 , 12:47am

PAIN IN THE A** perhaps?

of course the A means area on which we siticon_smile.gif

goodcakefairy Posted 12 Jan 2006 , 12:56am

Precisely, Alicia77.

Wait, is that considering cussing on the forum? Ooops. icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gif

Won't happen again.

Doug Posted 12 Jan 2006 , 12:58am

LOL....

I guess I was thinking with my stomach and could only think of the bread.


(does this mean I can say to a misbehaving student "stop being such a pita" ? not likely, but ooooh so tempting!)

flayvurdfun Posted 12 Jan 2006 , 7:07pm

heck I say do what the bride wants!!!! I know moms are horrible during a wedding planning but all in all it's up to the bride.

maxiecakes Posted 13 Jan 2006 , 2:52am

WRITING! WRITING! EVERYTHING IN WRITING!! thumbs_up.gif

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