I want to make a decorated cake for my daughter's friend's family, the father recently died. Do u think a decorated cake that sez, "our condolences to your family" is inappropriate? Thinking of putting dove or cross on cake as well. Is this too much? Do you think I should just do a pound cake? Thanks.

Do you have the cross pan? I think that would say it all...

thanks nanni, that's a good solution, yes i have that pan.

Given my screen name, I guess I have to weigh in on this.

A good alternative to a cake for grieving family is an assortment of cookies. Since cakes usually have a celebratory feel about them no matter what you do to them, cookies are a good alternative. There is a restaurant here in town that calls me when they have a repast luncheon booked and the family does not want a cake or dessert, but they do want something sweet. Simple brownies, linzer tarts, spritz cookies, bar cookies, etc., are all good. Not only are they tasteful...but tasty too.

I tend to agree with Cookieman on this one, although I do think a cross cake would be appropriate if your set on giving a cake to them, but please don't write what you suggested with condolences on it. I agree again with cookie man as cake being a celebratory dessert and also having been through the same thing with a father passing, I just don't feel that would be appropriate, but more a bit tacky/tasteless during this sensitive time. I know your best intentions are here, but I think a simple decorated cross cake would be a good choice or some cookies/bars an even better choice.

I tend to agree with Cookieman on this one, although I do think a cross cake would be appropriate if your set on giving a cake to them, but please don't write what you suggested with condolences on it. I agree again with cookie man as cake being a celebratory dessert and also having been through the same thing with a father passing, I just don't feel that would be appropriate, but more a bit tacky/tasteless during this sensitive time. I know your best intentions are here, but I think a simple decorated cross cake would be a good choice or some cookies/bars an even better choice.

I saw a cake.. I think it was on cake central. It was a cake made for the wake. It said there name I'll just use mine... "Tina, a job well done" & I think it said, "You will be missed" It was very pretty w/ a sunshine, cross & rainbow on it. The only thing I didn't like was that it also had a unicorn on it. To me that didn't fit. If I knew the survivors VERY well then I would do a cake like that. They know me VERY well so they would know it was from the heart. I would not do it for a stranger or someone I didn't know very well.

One other thing: If you want to send a cake, why not something like a crumb cake or a simple bundt cake? A pie would also be appropriate. But writing something on it is definitely out. I would only do that if the family asked for it.
I know we always want to express our feelings, whatever they may be, with our talents; it's part of who we are. But sometimes it is not apprpriate.

I agree about the cookies or a crumb cake-but I do know that when my mom passed someone brought a cake over for after church as a celebration of her life-it made my dad feel better and sort of turned the tables from grief for a moment. It depends on the situation and each one is so different. And like it was said, it depends on how well you know the recipients, etc. The cross cake seems appropriate for the situation without any writing on it.