Another cousin of mine got married this summer and we didn't go for several reasons one of them being that we don't really talk to his mother after talking to my parents and his sister we were really happy with not being there.
The wedding was outside on a hot, humid day and the chairs had been placed in the sun so everyone there was miserable. The had people coming up to witness for them and just this part lasted over an hour so people were moving chairs or just leaving because it was so miserable.

My parents didn't know why at the time but his sister was standing in the back with one of her BILs passing a bottle between them so they got drunk during the ceremony. The cousin getting married is very religious and doesn't believe in drinking so my parents were a little offended until a few weeks later because they thought it was uncalled for. The groom had told this sister that her boyfriend had to leave, not because she wasn't allowed a guest but because her boyfriend at the time was black. My parents got very understanding after they found that out, my father said he would have found something to offend them too. It makes me wonder what he thinks of my husband and children because while they look white they are Indian and my husband grew up on a reservation.

About 20 years ago, I went to a wedding for the daughter of my mother's best friend. Nice little ceremony, small chapel...lovely time. Then came the reception, also nice, but quite a few strange people there that no one seemed to know.

So, it comes time for the bride and groom to leave for the honeymoon and all of a sudden, all the "strangers" draw weapons and arrest the groom. He, his brother and a friend had kidnapped Amanda Mueller, of the Mueller noodle family. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0DEED71338F930A1575AC0A960948260

It was completely insane! The bride ended up leaving on her own and the minister never filed the paperwork so they were never technically married.

Um...guys... if this is a competition... GeorgiesGirl just won!!!

WOWSA That takes the CAKE literally. I was going to come back and post about my DH at my sisters her actual wedding when it did happen. But I will kneel down at that last one... WOW WOW WOW

Talk about flashbacks. I definitely couldn't compete with that story, but I have learned why parents beg their children to elope.

Even though Georgia just took the cake with that one... (bows as well)...

I think we still need to keep adding stories because these ALL are just GREAT!!!! It's nice sharing horror stories for these things from the simple to the OMG! ones..

Keep telling the stories, this is such a GREAT thread!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG! Georgiesgirl that insaine!!!!!!!!




Hmmmm lets see, when you push the cake into each others faces I shoved it so hard that I got cake 1/2 way up my DH's nose in both nostrels. He was blowing chocolate cake out of his nose for a while that night

I also was starving at my own wedding and when it came time to eat I didn't hold back at all! Now I'm not one for dressed so soon after eating and the first dance with jon and then my dad I went to go change into blue jeans and a t-shirt with hoola dancers on it. My Bestfriend came to help me get undressed at yelled "OH my gosh Melissa you almost streaked everyone" What??? What are you talking about? Between the eating and the dancing those little hooks all the way down my back had come unhinged and I was only keeping my dress on by a like 3 brave hooks that were spaced apart perfectly.

The strangest wedding I ever went to was shortly after I graduated from school. My friend and I were invited to the wedding of a guy that we were friends with in school. It was an outdoor wedding at a forest preserve. My friend and I fretted for hours over what we should wear, needlessly it turned out. The groom was dressed in black jeans with a white shirt and a black blazer and wite gym shoes. The bride was literally barefoot and pregnant, until later on when she put on some fuzzy red socks. You could see them because she took off the bottom tier of her wedding dress, which really looked like a cotton prom dress. The best man had on dress pants and a dress shirt, but you could see the logo on the back of the t-shirt he was wearing underneath. His earring was pretty cool, though. There was a male guest there who was really dolled up; he wore a cape over his ensemble, and I believe some eyeliner. The groom's mother was wearing brown stretch polyester pants and some kind of blouse, but she looked like she had just come from bowling.

The "reception" was right after the ceremony. (Did I mention the bride's father was a minister and was the one that married them?) The music that was played was whatever tape was thrown into the boombox at any given time, and the food was a choice of whatever you wanted to throw on the grill - hamburger, cheeseburger, or hot dog.

When we got a chance to speak to the groom, he told us how he went off behind the bushes before the ceremony to smoke a joint, and when he was standing there during the ceremony, he was seeing double of his bride.

The craziest part of the whole thing was that, if you knew our friend, his wedding couldn't have been any other way. He was such an eccentric that a "normal" wedding would have seemed weirder than the one he had.

And to think my friend and I were worried about what to wear.

Hello, my name is Sheila, and i just HAD to jump into this conversation.
My son got married this during the summer. It was a "Jerry Springer "wedding. First, the bride was 30 minutes late, and her brides maids were 45 minutes late. The MINISTER was walking around saying she needed a peach schnapps. Then the music didn't work , they got married in the park. On the next block over, there is a bar, and the music was playing loudly, "Girls just Wanna have fun", "Trashy Women", and , "My dingaling". The fun didn't stop there, during pictures, which were on motorcycles in the park, the best man was supposed to have the maid of honor on the back of his cycle. But best man's wife stormed across the park, and told her to get her f***ing a** off the back of that cycle. She got off, and sat on the ground in front of the cycle in her beautiful gown. THEN, at the reception, there was a chocolate fountain, which the bride didn't even see yet, but some peoples kids decided to get in to it, and had chocolate all over the table, and they thought it was okay to sample the cake, too. Now mind you, the bride isn't even at the reception yet ! When i told the kids to get out of things, the MOTHER of the kids got mad at me for "picking on her kids ". And there was a fight between my sister and my son-in-law, {sister could've kicked his heiny}, but that , too, i put the skids to. All i can say, never was so happy to get a wedding over with.
Sheila

When I was younger I worked for my Uncles catering company. One of the first weddings that I worked was with my Mom ,we were waiting for the Bride and Groom to cut the cake so we could serve it. The Groom shoved the cake into the brides face so hard that it knocked out her two front ARTIFICIAL teeth, she actually spit them out in her hand and ran crying to the restroom with a trail of women guests behind her. Everyone was mortified and the reception, needless to say, ended shortly after. What a nightmare!!

WOW, these are funny, sad and awesome!! So, I'll share my stories...

My wedding-DH and I got married at a clubhouse of some nice planned neighborhood type thing and were told AFTER they let us book it that we wouldn't get the clubhouse until 2-the wedding was to start at 4. I don't even know who actually set up the chairs and stuff outside for the ceremony, 'cause I was stuck in the bathroom getting ready for the full 2 hours. My DJ-a distant cousin of my mom's-showed up without speaker wire, so I had to walk down the aisle (sidewalk) to Sarah McClauklin's I Love You coming from the back of a '91 Trans Am. Before then, I never knew any of her songs could really boom like that. On the way down the sidewalk, my dress starts knocking over all the little fishbowls w/ flowers. DH said all the family was holding their breath thinking I'd freak, but I just started knocking them over on purpose after the 2nd one. After the ceremony, most of the men carried in the chairs. No one paid attention to the unity candle at the reception. No one really cared that there wasn't music. Time to cut the cake-no knife. DH best friend-best man-handed DH his Army issued knife. After that, we realized there weren't any forks. MIL had bought a box of 1,000 individually wrapped forks and forgot the box at home! OK...no biggie. DH and I didn't even get a piece of our cake except what we fed to each other (it was a GOOD cake) because it was eaten up so fast. MIL took our top cake home to freeze it and step FIL 'accidentally' threw it away, but I really think he ate it! Now, everyone laughs about the whole thing...it was just really memorable. The fork thing is still something my MIL gets teased about...mostly from me!

Friend's wedding-I was the matron of honor and made the 5 tier stacked wedding cake. Cake turned out okay, but it was my first time with fondant and I was freaking out. 4 hours before the wedding, I took bride to get hair done-that took almost 2 hours! On the way to the barn-yes the wedding was at a barn-my car decided to stall. My cell had all of 1 lifeline (battery line) and I used it to call my DH and yell out our location and to get there quick. I've got a pic of the bride w/ the passenger door open and the hood up on my car. I get bride back to barn 45 minutes til wedding, and still have to get my hair and makeup done by the bridesmaids. Wedding was set back maybe 30 minutes. During the ceremony, they opened all the barn doors to let in the non-existant breeze and the B&G were staring into the sun. Every pic of them has them squinting. B&G toasted with Miller Lite bottles. Big country wedding. BTW-their colors were camo...yes...camo. All in all, it was just right for their families. Realy countriy-fied!!

Thanks for letting me share! I'm sure there were more things at my wedding, but I don't know how much room I have to vent about it!!

My Son and Husband were in a wedding. Son was the ring bearer they told me what time to meet at the location to take some pictures before hand(son was only 4 at the time so I kept him with me so he could get a nap and all the stuff and my husband was the best man and spent the day with the groom).

I got there on time and so did the groom and the groomsmen. We were there an hour before the ceremon and no bride. We wait and wait the guests are arriving and everyone is waiting now. The ceremony started 2hrs after the suppposed start time! Try keeping a 4yo at a park location look neat and tidy!

Then at the reception the maid of honor stands up to give her congrats speech and the whole thing is about how much fun they have getting drunk and all the guys they met and how most nights they could barely remember what they did etc... it was aweful and embarassing as was the grooms father who took his teeth out to eat the dinner and left them sitting on the table for all to see!

Second marriage. He had three children, I had four, they were all in the wedding. His little ten year old daughter caught my bouquet and took it home to her mommy. Actually their mother and I had a good relationship so we just laughed about it later.

His 4 year old son was the ring bearer and at the rehearsal he had an empty ring pillow and we told him to just pretend to hand the rings to the minister. At the actual ceremony he did exactly that, handed the minister a handful of empty air.

My stories are tame compared to all of the others but, I'll share anyway.

My dh and I wanted to stay away from the big blow-out wedding. We decided instead to go to Tennessee and marry in one of the cute little chapels in the Smoky Mountains. My mother and her boyfried met us there the day of the wedding and then hit the road back to Kentucky immediately after. Great. Thanks for coming mom, love ya, bye. Well, dh's family rented a cabin and stayed...for our honeymoon. We had our own little room (included with the $1500 wedding package LOL) and I said, "ok, whatever you want. We'll meet up with you when we get home". Nope. Dh's inability to say "no" to his family led to a five day family vacation with the inlaws. I was furious (HELLLLOOO...OUR HONEYMOON!). When we returned home, I gave him a four week lesson on how simple it is to say "NO".



My brother's wedding. The ceremony was ok. I didn't "get" the bride and b-maids in dirty flip-flops, ill-fitting gowns and exposed dingy undergarments but who am I? I honeymooned with my inlaws. LOL The bride ( I still cannot consider her part of my family!) chose the local horseman's club for the reception site. It was the middle of August and the building had no A/C. None. The place reeked of horse manure....there was a lovely mountain of it piled just ouside one of the open windows...the window that held the only box fan that provided the ONLY moving air in the building. The guests were a "diverse" group. Everything from the brides uncle who donned his patched overalls just for the occasion to my brother's ex-con buddies who were "escorted" none too gently from the building by the brides intoxicated daddy. I managed to have my debit card stolen from my purse (I STILL don't know how...the thing never left my side!) and the evicted thugs were in Indianapolis that night trying to use it. Such a lovely family event. I'll cherish the memories always.

LOL

Well here's another for the books. I was married in a small town, where the majority of the firemen were volunteers and carried beepers. My new husband was related to most of these volunteers, 3 of our groomsmen being among them. Just as the reception was getting over, their beepers began going off, and they had to respond in their white tuxes. Soon after their leaving we got the word, the fire was in my parent's home and gutted it. Needless to say, it put a quick end to our reception, and dance. Everyone was in hysterics. I had to borrow clothes for my honeymoon as mine had been in the house and I had nothing but my wedding dress. Turned a very happy occassion into a nightmare.

Wow! You guys have some incredible stories! Funny and tragic.
The worst thing that happened at my wedding was one of our groomsmen left early due to a raging case of diarrhea and the caterer served pimeinto cheese against my wishes... Not exactly dramatic.

I know this is an old thread, but really quite hilarious!

Our wedding was pretty good, but my sister's....ouch...

1) my sister did a cleanse a couple of weeks before her wedding and lost a bit of weight during it, at which time she had her dress fittingm, where they took the dress in a bit. Well she went off the cleanse before her wedding and went back to eating 'normally' and put the weight back on. Needless to say her dress was a little snug. By the end of the night we had to pin her in her dress (it was 2 pieces) because the clasps on the skirt had all broken. She also had a huge train and ALL of the bustle points broke before the dancing started so she had to carry her train the rest of the night.
2) my grandma was to do the flowers and ordered what she needed from the local grocery store. Well she had planned to early so we corrected the date we needed the flowers for and called the store. The store didn't alter the date they got the flowers into the store however, so a lot of her flowers were in a sad state when we picked them up,and they didn't have everything she had ordered
3) she got married on a Sunday, when most hair dressers aren't open very early, so hired a hairdresser to come to her house and do her hair, my hair and 3 other bridesmaids. She had never met this lady, didn't have time to do a trial run. The lady was about an hour late coming to her house, with no call...and my sister hadn't gotten a cell number from her. She did my hair first (long and thick...thus time consuming), then started on my sisters. My mom then had to fix my hair as she had put it up all crooked and it looked terrible. One of the bridesmaids she simply put her hair in a pony tail and curled the hair. That's it.
4) she had hired the lady that works at the local gym doing child care to come and look after the kids (my sister had a 3 and 8 year old at the time). There was a drastic misunderstanding and the lady showed up in her track suit. My sister thought she had worked it out with her that she would come to the wedding to look after the kids during the ceremony and during pictures (ie the kids would be there but she would make sure they were entertained/quiet). So she had to rush home and change. After the ceremony she got lost on the way to the picture site (luckily the boys were with their dad). We didn't see her again until we got back for the reception!
5) they had a twoonie bar which his parents were going to cover the cost of. Well his side of the family and their friends like to drink, a lot. His parents balked at the cost and my sister and her husband ending up having to try to pay it.
6) the bride, groom and most of the people there were completely drunk before the speeches even took place.
7) We stayed for the cake cutting, and kept waiting for the kitchen staff to bring out the cake, but it never came, not while we were there. We left after another couple of hours of waiting.
they paid for a 'midnight snack' for all of the guests that had rsvp'd, well most of the people had left long before this was even served (including us) so they paid way more then they needed too!!

I was sooo thankful that our wedding went off without a hitch!

Great thread! I haven't dug through them all yet, but I'll post mine then go back. Now, I didn't actually see this, but heard it from a DJ who did... The groom goes ahead and smashes the cake into the brides face (and I'm guessing it was probably against her explicit wishes) so she retaliates by grabbing the first thing she can find - which turns out to be a bottle of champagne. She knocks him over the head with it and he goes out cold. Marriage annulled the next day! Yikes!

I also had a friend report a wedding where the cake smash was also done and then both the bride and groom exclaim in unison "but, you promised!!" niiice start, people.

My daughter actually won a prize on a radio show when she called in with this story:

She was attending the wedding of her bio-dad's step-kids (for those trying to figure it out, it would be the kid of my ex-husband's current-wife). It was a real "low budget" shin-dig, according to my daughter.

She said the groom could have made some effort to at least comb his hair, but the worst part was after the minister pronounced them man and wife, the groom turns to the church and says, "I dont' know 'bout you all but I'm ready to go to McDonald's!"

Klass with a Kapital K!

At my wedding my soon to be SIL who was also my Maid of Honor had too much wine before the ceremony which I did not know as I was out at the florist .....I wondered why she looked so out of it and stepped on my train and I heard a rip!! Then she got even more drunk and started to dance on the dancefloor like a stripper....I mean wiggling up and down and the sultry face and she had a tight strapless gown on and she has a really nice body.My MIL gasped and walked away.My Mom then went into the washroom and gave her SH** and told her to smarten up....It was sooooo funny and to this day....8 years later she still won't admit she was drunk and definetly won't admit how she acted!!!

I am so glad this thread made it to the home page! I hadn't seen it before. I've really enjoyed reading the stories.

I have two stories to share. Our oldest daughter got married about five years ago at a pretty nice golf club. Wedding at the church went off well, dinner was going well until smoke started coming from the kitchen and the fire department showed up. Thankfully only the sprinklers in the kitchen and hall outside it let go and it was just something in a frying pan that set them off. Three very good looking young firemen signed the guest register and had their picture taken with the beautiful bride!

Our eldest son's wedding was two years ago in and unseasonably hot and humid June when it felt like the whole world would melt or get eaten alive by bugs. It was outdoors at a camping resort on a lake and was a weekend thing. Quite the opposite of the big sister wedding. Our DIL's mom had passed on a few years before and there was a lovely tribute table to her with a photo, candles and flowers. During speeches each of DIL's siblings (there were lots of them) mentioned mom and how they missed her and remembered her drinking wine, lipstick on her teeth etc etc and how much DIL looked like her. During one tribute to the couple saying they knew she was watching over them a wine bottle in front of son and DIL tipped over and spilled down the front of her dress! If I had not been sitting in the table right in front I would not have believed that someone hadn't pushed it over or moved the table. All the tables in front gasped. I guess her mom really was there.

Oh yes at my own wedding my hubby started to tear up during the vows and I started to giggle. Someone got a picture of it and mention it when he watches "chick flicks" and I watch "Escape from LA".

My wedding is pretty tame compared to some of these great stories! We did pictures before the wedding and had the real wedding rings on the ringbearer's pillow. The best man forgot to get the rings off the pillow after the pictures and the ringbearer took the pillow outside to play in the gravel until the wedding started...he lost the rings but luckily, my husband. the groomsmen and half the guests were able to find the rings after looking around the parking lot for a half hour before the wedding. I didn't know anything about it until after the wedding.

When I was walking up the aisle with my dad, he stepped on my train as I was trying to go up the steps to the alter so I stopped and gave my soon to be husband a moment to wonder why I stopped! Dad finally figured it out and got off my dress so I was able to move again!

At a freind's wedding reception, I was sitting at the head table and the bride's dad had made gorgeous wooden candle holders for the table with raffia bows...I looked over and noticed one of the candles had burned down and ignited the bow. Luckily a pitcher of water put it out before it got out of hand!

At my wedding the photographer made a very sexually suggestive comment to my maid of honor when we were taking pictures.

Later, my maid of honor and the best man got so drunk that the best man ended up passed out on the bathroom floor of our honeymoon suite, (his dad got him out of there and took him to his own room) and the maid of honor was sitting in the flower bed outside our room throwing up. She ended up sleeping on the couch in our suite that night (that is AFTER her keys were wrestled away from her by my new father-in-law. She was sure she could drive home!)

How romantic our wedding night was!!!

You all have me beat but just to let you know how much my MIL likes me she asked me at my reception if she could have my dress to cut up and make things out of with the scrapes.

I don't really have a horror story although my DH probably thought it was LOL. We got married on a Saturday night and as we went to give the minister a "token of appreciation", we realized that neither of us had gone to the bank and had no cash. We had to find my Dad and borrow money to pay the minister and then get money to leave for our honeymoon LOL DH worried the entire time we were gone about getting back home to repay my Dad.

My husband and I have been together for over 6 years. We just got married in April. When after five years of living together, he told his family he asked me to marry him, his mother and sister were both kind enough to ask "Why, is she pregnant?". Yes, we've been together all this time, living together for most of it, and the only reason we can think of to get married is because I'm pregnant. (yeah, that was sarcasm.. haha)

I asked my brother-in-law's father to be our officiant. He pronounced my name wrong once, and my husband's last name wrong every time he said it. It was hilarious. By the end of the ceremony, when he announced Mr. and Mrs. _______. He pronounced it wrong again, and the whole church shouted out our last name. haha

First, let me start by saying I knew this would happen, and that's why I asked him to do it. To make the ceremony light hearted and fun (also because he's family, and just a super nice guy). My guests however, had something up their butts and thought it was horrible. (I found a post by a "friend" on a website that said as much) I will remember it for the rest of my life, and I couldn't be happier that he was the one to marry us.

During the reception, I went to throw the bouquet. Well, I just threw that thing as hard as I could. Apparently, it was a lot lighter than I expected, compared to the one I had been carrying all evening, and instead of going backward toward the crowd of girls, it went straight up into the air and about a foot behind me. Everyone just stood there and looked at it. Finally, my maid of honor walked up and picked it up. haha (she's getting married in a week or two ) I was SO embarrassed by this, and I wish I could have done it over, but looking back it was pretty funny.

Hrm.. there was more, but the rest of the stuff was just little things.. None of the napkins I bought were set out to be used, I had candles on every table, and no one thought to light them. Stuff like that.. heh

Quite a few things went wrong with the food and cake, but that comes from poor planning on my part. I should have made everything way in advance at home, and frozen, instead of trying to make it in the weeks before the wedding while I was staying at mother's, and didn't have my own stuff.

Holly

**Edit** Oh, also I have to add.. The whole ceremony was done with the hundred or so guests standing up, because Kenny forgot to tell them they could be seated, after I walked down the aisle. Apparently everyone was afraid to be the first to sit. haha

My wedding got off to a bad start, My matron of honor came down a week before to help with my wedding. While she was here her husband passed unexpectedly. My husband and myself had to drive her and her small children 5 hours one way home. Another one of my bridesmaids had to have emergency surgery two days before the wedding. We were going to cancel the wedding but both of them insisted we have it, even though they wouldn't be a part off it. Third and finally my cake started to fall durring our vows, we had to run over to my cake and snap a picture really quick after the ceremony before my cake fell.

I got an eye infection in my right eye the Wednesday before my wedding. I woke up and it was red and oozing (gross..sorry). So I went to the Doctor immediately who gave me drops. By Thursday, my right eye cleared completly, however my left eye was about 10x worse. So I put the drops in my left eye. By Friday, the oozing had stopped, but it was still blood red. I went back to the doctor who immediately sent me to the Ophtamologist and the only thing he could do was give me a drop to help lighten the red to a more yellowish colour. Didn't really work. So all my wedding photos I hve one red eye. The photographer did at least try to take as many pictures from my right side..lol.


And this past September at my cousin's wedding. That day we did our regular stuff.. hair, make-up, etc. The flowers were supposed to arrive by 1pm, wedding starts at 4 and is half an hour away. So by 1:30, we call the florist, they left ten minutes ago. So we call again at 2, are now told the florist just left. (although had been told he left almost an hour ago ). We call again at 2:30, they say they are definately on their way but the driver forgot her cell phone. How convinent. We are all getting a bit nervous now. At 3 o'clock we call back to say we need these flowers for pictures, and we need to be on the way to the church in half an hour. I called at 3:15 and gave them a piece of my mind. I said I do not care how, but we need flowers NOW. They then said the driver was in an accident, not hurt but should be there soon. I absolutely lost it. The driver in fact was not in accident, but apparently was in traffic due to an accident. But how would they know this since no cell phone?? Every call was a different lie. I finally told them that this is the most important day and they are causing stress to the bride. We have to leave in 5 minutes, we still do not have flowers for any of the pictures, and we will be expecting a refund. They showed up Finally, with abuot one minute to spare. We literally grabbed flowers and jumped in the van. The wedding started about 15minutes late. And on top of that, the groom had sent his soon-to-be wife a dozen roses, which we hacked about 2minutes before the flowers showed up so she would at least have something to carry. In the end, she did get her full money back.. but it was a few stressful moments there. And something always has to go wrong, right?! Something to laugh at later on. And in the big scheme of things.. that definately wasn't that bad.. especially compared to some of these stories.