Family Drama And A Wedding Cake.
Decorating By lunawhisper0013 Updated 21 Jun 2015 , 12:41pm by MsGF
Wow. So do you feel better about doing the cake now that you've looked them in the face and said your piece? It really does sound like it's all about the money with them. I'm happy it's a design you feel you can knock out in 4 hours. I'm glad you added all the caveats about the ex. You have been exceedingly generous with them already. You have certainly done everything you can in this situation to make things better between you. The wife sounds like a piece of work, you may be better off not being close with them.
wowzers -- this gave me a stomach ache -- can't imagine how you're doing -- i think you did real good -- do you have anyone to go with you to deliver to be some moral support for you?
hope the payment thing goes well -- good on you for buying lunch that not only gave you an edge it relieved some tension for them -- wow you did good with everything though -- got your boundaries up -- nice/clear communication --
what day is the wedding -- gonna mark you on my calendar
Quote by @lunawhisper0013 on 3 hours ago
Well, I suppose this is a course of action that I can live with, The cake is all buttercream icing with ribbon, lace and jewels so it will only take me about 4 hours to decorate. With the supplies I already have, I will actually make a little bit of money off of it anyway and, if I don't receive an invitation at any point, I've got plenty of ammunition if he ever wants anything else.
I'm glad that you got all of that off of your chest, but this is the one thing I'll say regarding this...Don't feel like you need to have ammunition for anything in the future. based on your brother's interest in money and interest in excusing his own actions, and the wife's fakey invitations to the shower etc, the only ammunition you need to deal with them in the future is the word "no." No explanations, no reminders of how they used you to get a cheap wedding cake, just the word "no."
So glad you said your piece and got that out into the open. Sounds like the wife is a real piece of work, the whole shower thing was weird. As long as you are happy with your decision and comfortable making the cake then things went well.
Families are so wonderful, we all have a few nuts floating around (like my brother). I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
Peace and good wishes.
Okay, so the cake is done and delivered. I didn't go to any of the "invited" parties (bridal shower, bachelorette party, ect.) My boss told me that I had to work today, so I guess it makes no difference if I got invited to the wedding or not. It's done, he got his inexpensive cake and it is off my conscience.
Quote by @lunawhisper0013 on 2 hours ago
Okay, so the cake is done and delivered. ....It's done, he got his inexpensive cake and it is off my conscience.
Good for you! Big hugs from me and everyone else on the thread. Well done!
And one last update for those of you who are curious:
I have not heard directly from my brother since his wedding but I have heard from my boyfriend's ex. She told my boyfriend that she is very upset because my brother told her some details about mine and my boyfriend's relationship and that he had waited until he got back from his honeymoon to say anything because one of my conditions in making the cake was that he needed to be a neutral party and not stir up any drama between this woman and us. Now that he got his inexpensive cake, I guess he feels the conditions of the contract are met. He needn't ask me for anything else ever. I don't need his blessing for my relationship or him in my life if all he is going to do is cause trouble.
Well if it wasn't absolutely clear before, it is now. You may go forward in peace. And when you get married don't even give a thought to inviting them. You have paid your dues.
I'm having trouble posting the pic of the cake but here is the link on my Cake Central gallery to give you all some cake and less drama...:-)
http://www.cakecentral.com/gallery/i/3343865/gothic-victorian-wedding-cake
Wow. I'm really sorry you've had such trouble, but I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one with a strange family. I have 2 brothers with whom I've had no contact whatsoever since our dad's funeral 4 years ago. And 1 of them lives just 15 miles away.
My husband and I decided long ago that we had truly done all we could to get along with our families (his is as bad as mine). We believe we have a responsibility to turn the other cheek and forgive repeatedly. However, we are not required to make ourselves targets of their ill will and hateful words. They know where we are and if they decide they want some kind of relationship with us all they have to do is call.
I must say, your last post sounds much stronger and more positive than your first and I'm glad to see it.
Beautiful cake... better than they deserve. Their loss. You DO sound much stronger and more willing to "let them all go"... which is awesome!!!! Crazy family drama can be such a drain. I have 3 siblings, and one parent still alive and I am proud to call myself an orphan. Only so many times my good will should be exploited!
That's too bad your brother feels the need to control your life. Some people only care about themselves. Where does your boyfriend's ex get off calling him so casually. The cake.was beautiful. I hope you feel better now.
There are no rules saying we have to like our family. You showed tremendous class and patience with this situation. You delivered to them a cake much better than they deserved. You have taken the high road, now it is time to move forward in your life and leave him and his wife behind. They don't have the right to nit pick your life and life choices. You are an adult, capable of making your own choices and living with the consequences of your choices. Obviously your brother still has a lot growing up to do.
Move forward with peace, knowing you did what you could. Now leave it with them to behave as they will. You are a far better person then he will ever be. Peace & Love.
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