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beachcakes
Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 3068
Location: At the Beach
Birthday: Jun 27
Gallery Supporter Member
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 Posted:
Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:26 am |
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Got a call from a relative yesterday inviting us to her son's birthday dinner this weekend - he's 8. She generally invites a crowd, so I asked if there was anything I could do. (I didn't offer to make a cake) She immediately said she ordered the cake to "make it easy". At this point I wasn't offended, b/c every holiday/birthday she says her son hates cake and then orders one from the upscale spa bakery (not a kids cake). But she must've felt guilty b/c she kept rambling about cake. This time not from the usual place but from a restaurant that is not known for desserts. And then added, 'you're not offended are you?'
I never even let on that i was disappointed, but now I am offended! It's like she went out of her way to rub it in. Most people like my cakes - I don't think they're that ugly or taste bad.  |
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Texas_Rose
Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 26, 2008
Posts: 892
Location: San Antonio, TX
Gallery Supporter Member
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:38 am |
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Your cakes are lovely. My guess is that your relative is either jealous of your abilities or jealous of the attention that your cakes recieve. |
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cakesbycathy
Frequent Member
Joined: Aug 16, 2005
Posts: 468
Location: Cleveland, OH
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:44 am |
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Just because I'm feeling obnoxious at this particular moment...
I would have said "Yes, I am actually." and then immediately hung up the phone.
Sounds like you handled it exactly right! Those "customers" usually tend to be the biggest PITA to deal with and in the end you're wishing they would have ordered from someplace else. |
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KeltoKel
Regular Member
Joined: Apr 24, 2007
Posts: 181
Location: PA
Gallery Supporter Member
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:58 am |
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Question - you said you have done cakes for this relative in the past. Does she pay you for them or do you just bring one (free) as part of your "gift" or contribution to the party?
Perhaps she knows how much work, time, and money goes into your cakes and she feels bad always asking you to bring one and wants to give you a break.
I have no idea what your cakes taste like, but they are AWESOME! I am sure they are delicious as well. I don't think that is the issue at all.
I would not be offended, I think she just wanted to cut you a break. |
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mcelromi1
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 96
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:03 am |
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Why are you offended?
Since you are known for making cakes and you aked 'If there was anything you could do' she probably assumed that you were hinting at helping with the cake.
To me it sounds as if you can't understand why everyone else loves your cakes but she never ask/requests one and always orders from somewhere else.
Get over it.
I don't think she was rubbing it in, I think she felt she had to explain herself so that she wouldn't hurt your feelings. Which it seems like she did, by your last sentence.
Just because she never orders from you doesn't necessarily mean that she thinks your cakes taste bad or their ugly. |
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maggiev777
Frequent Member
Joined: Jan 01, 2007
Posts: 233
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:13 am |
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ITA with mcelromi1. What is there to be offended about? I agree she was probably trying to not hurt your feelings, but honestly it is her prerogative to order a cake from whoever she wants for whatever reason she wants. People shouldn't feel like they have to defend themselves for ordering a cake from someone else, but she obviously felt like she did have to.
Be gracious about it. Let it go and enjoy the party!! Have a piece of cake while you are there and enjoy every bite. (And if you think you could have done better, do not tell a single soul.) |
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Cakepro
Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 09, 2005
Posts: 2349
Location: Houston
Birthday: Dec 10
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:21 am |
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I wouldn't be offended either, or try to analyze it too much. Now you don't have to do a freebie cake and can just be a guest at the party!  |
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suchie6
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 27, 2006
Posts: 36
Location: Just Moved to Orange Park, FL
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:30 am |
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Your work is very nice. I wouldn't be offended at all. Maybe your reading to much into the conversation. Maybe she's just heard you talk about how much work it is and wants to give you a break and allow you to just attend and enjoy and event!
I'm a newbie at this so I like going to events and seeing other peoples work and tasting their treats so that I can get ideas.
Enjoy the break and someone elses talent! |
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Tootall
Regular Member
Joined: Jun 01, 2007
Posts: 150
Location: Prattville, AL
Gallery Supporter Member
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:31 am |
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LNW
Frequent Member
Joined: Nov 18, 2005
Posts: 217
Location: Springfield, Missouri
Birthday: Mar 31
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:33 am |
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Your cakes are gorgeous and you are a very talented cake artist.
I have a very large family and social circle. Everyone knows I make cakes and nearly all of them have had my cake at some point. I get invited to events where the cake served either came from Wal-Mart or a favorite bakery. It doesn’t bother me in the least though. I actually enjoy not having to bring the cake and answer a million questions about how I made it etc. It’s also a chance for me to see and taste what the competition is cooking up (sometimes **GASP** it’s better than mine).
I wouldn’t get offended by what your relative has done. I know some of my family members make it a point to NOT order a cake from me because they know how much work I put into them and they just want me to come to the event and enjoy myself. I appreciate that. She probably felt guilty since she hadn’t ordered the cake from you and thought she needed to explain herself. I might mention to her that isn’t necessary in the future, she shouldn’t feel guilty because she chose to go somewhere else for cake. Shoot my cousin owns an auto repair business and I still take my car somewhere else. It’s not a slam against him in any way. |
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aswartzw
Forum Fanatic
Joined: Jul 30, 2007
Posts: 1286
Location: Galloway, OH
Birthday: Apr 07
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:35 am |
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I wouldn't be offended either. It doesn't sound like she did it to spite you or anything. Just that she didn't want to take advantage of you. Maybe by you offering she's starting to second guess herself or truly feels she might have offended you. Her talking like that is what I do when I feel like I might have hurt someone's feelings. |
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MadPhoeMom
Regular Member
Joined: Jan 15, 2007
Posts: 169
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:36 am |
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nope, i wouldn't be offended. i never am when people don't use me.......i appreciate the clarity of knowing themselves well.....if THEY understand that we aren't compatible, then they aren't wasting my time.
how many times have you spent tons of time planning a cake with someone all to find out they are expecting you to do it for a 'bargain?"
for whatever reason she didn't choose you....go and enjoy the party...taste the cake, see if it's worth befriending the baker....
sally |
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jmt1714
Forum SuperStar!
Joined: May 12, 2006
Posts: 2310
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:58 am |
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i think it would be great if people never assumed someone was trying to be offensive.
Maybe she DIDN'T want you make a cake. Maybe she doesn't like them. Maybe her 8 year old doesn't. So what? People are different and not everyone likes everything.
From what you described above, I get this: You were invited to a celebration. Your presence is desired (ok,and likely your presents too . . . lol). They want you to be a guest in their home and enjoy yourself. They were worried about your feelings and went out of their way to make sure you weren't hurt. Gasp. What horrible folks. |
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adven68
Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Jul 06, 2005
Posts: 2411
Location: Nylkoorb
Birthday: May 13
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:36 am |
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BC,
Someone else might have asked her if she was getting the cake from you...or the mere fact that she ordered it from a different place this time might make her think that you may be offended. Who knows? It could have been a lot of things...only you know what she sounded like so i will not tell you not to feel offended.
I will, however, tell you that your cakes are lovely. Be confident in that and always take the high road if you can, as you did. |
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dailey
Frequent Member
Joined: May 22, 2005
Posts: 404
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Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:57 am |
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| Texas_Rose wrote: | | Your cakes are lovely. My guess is that your relative is either jealous of your abilities or jealous of the attention that your cakes recieve. |
i totally disagree. i've seen post like this in the past where some will jump in and throw out the "jealousy" issue, however, i really don't see the connection? just because you make cakes that doesn't mean everyone you know is obligated to order them from you. not *everyone* is going to like the taste/style of your cakes. its really no big deal... |
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If my hubby's family expected me to make a cake every time, I'd have to quit my PAYING job! 
