| Author |
Message |
miss_sweetstory
Frequent Member
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Posts: 446
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Birthday: Feb 18
|
 Posted:
Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:26 pm |
  |
AAAAAARRRRRGGH! Please, please, please send her to Tesco or Asda. In the short term you are avoiding a family conflict, but in doing so you are enabling "familyzilla" behavior. They're even worse than Bridzillas because you can never really get rid of them. |
|
|
    |
 |
|
|
|
mackeymom
Regular Member
Joined: Oct 29, 2008
Posts: 174
Location: Bedford, Texas
Birthday: Aug 16
|
| Posted:
Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:42 pm |
|
| miss_sweetstory wrote: | | you are enabling "familyzilla" behavior. |
I love that word!! I have a sister inlaw that I always charge her a PITA fee. Cuz she is the biggest Pain In The A$$. Changing her design, flavors blah blah blah! |
|
|
  |
|
|
loulou2
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 05, 2006
Posts: 75
Location: Alabama
Birthday: Jan 02
|
| Posted:
Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:59 pm |
|
Just say no, can't do it too hot/busy/tired/mad whatever right now!! 
I have recently learned to say no-it took forty years but I can now say it & mean it & not feel guilty!!  |
|
|
| |
|
|
Karema
Forum Addict
Joined: May 25, 2008
Posts: 554
Location: CC of course
Birthday: Jan 26
|
| Posted:
Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:54 pm |
|
I'm sorry but this may sound mean but I don't feel for you at all. You could just say NO! When I get someone call me the day before and ask for a cake I say NO! I had a neighbor call two days ahead for a cake and I told her ok because it was just an 8" Round with white frosting and a boarder. I tell people that I don't do cakes unless I get one week notice. Is your cousin even paying you for this cake? If not then why couldnt you say no? Did you just feel bad? She is not going to feel bad when she is in her bed asleep and you are up all night making a cake now is she? You can't expect to be a pushover then complain because you are frustrated. Stop being a PUSHOVER! |
|
|
| |
|
|
Mensch
Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 19, 2009
Posts: 600
Location: The Diogenes Club
|
| Posted:
Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:45 pm |
|
I agree with Karema.... no pity here either.
You know, you don't HAVE to do this cake. |
|
|
| |
|
|
HannahLass
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 03, 2008
Posts: 85
Location: UK
|
| Posted:
Sat Jul 04, 2009 3:25 am |
|
Thankyou everyone! Tough love is required I have always been a push over.
I've no pity for myself either. I am an absolute putz myself, saying no is getting easier but I'm still not great. I didnt cancel my plans, told her no chance on friday come and get it saturday, i knew there was time.I changed her design and did what I wanted she didnt have firm ideas anyway. Got in from work made the shoe and went out. I've made the cake, it looks unbelievaby "chavvy" but it will suit her. (will try and post pics tomorrow forgot to bring my camera to work D'oh) She is at least now well aware that she has to give more notice as I wont be doing it again and darn it I wont be, you get one and I mean ONE stupid request. I escalated through family as I couldn't get her on the phone. The easy way out I know but I do believe she has got the message and has appologised. I am soo glad we dont have a large family (both my parents side we add up to 12 people) She's young and doesn't cook or anything so doesnt know how long things take but she knows now. Haha Miss sweetstory loving it "familyzilla" I have to say my family are usually pretty good giving me notice I usually get months notice if they want a cake. noone expects free cake, I can choose to give free cake If i want but I usually find money stuffed in my handbag lol. Indydebi I have to say you are my Idol *bows at the feet of greatness". I should be better at saying no I do it all day at work "sorry you havent payed for that response you will have to wait for tomorrow blah blah" I think I need assertiveness training hell not think know I need it. Not sure who's paying me her or my mum and dad to give as her present. Either way Im getting money for it (as illegal as that is). If she wasn't family I would have turned her down I've turned other people down when they are asking for stuff that I just cant do and dont give enough time on stuff. Right got to escape from work and go and get a birthday card for her. Thanks everyone you tell me the stuff I need to hear and do!
HanXX |
|
|
| |
|
|
rockytop
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 68
Location: south florida
Birthday: Apr 22
|
| Posted:
Sat Jul 04, 2009 5:10 am |
|
I agree with adven68,
I am a SAHD just because we dont have an actual jib does not mean we are not busy. I wish some people would do it for a week, maybe they would understand. |
|
|
| |
|
|
grandmaruth
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 27, 2008
Posts: 93
|
| Posted:
Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:04 am |
|
i dont think anyone would think that a stay at home mom doesnt work...but there are times during the day ...im sure ...that you could make the frosting.or..mix the cake.or..torte the cake etc...any one of those steps would help but....when you work out of the home it isnt that easy...no oven, access to mixer, ingredients etc....all that has to be done when you get home ...all of us have "alot on our plates these days"....we just need to try to" walk a mile in each others shoes"   |
|
|
| |
|
|
maddiseeyore
Regular Member
Joined: Aug 06, 2006
Posts: 105
Location: Ontario, Canada
Birthday: Sep 03
|
| Posted:
Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:13 am |
|
Hannahlass, I understand totally how it is hard to stand up to family and I for one, think you figured it out quite nicely! there was a lot of good feedback in the thread as well as some harsher words, and I for one, think you are good to take all the 'tough love' comments on here with such grace! I'm sure 'pity' wasn't what you were looking for, just a place to vent your frustration and CC should be a safe place to do that. Many times we know what we SHOULD do, we know we have created our own stress by our inabilty to stand up to family or friends, and we're kicking our own a*s! All we need from fellow cakers on CC is a place to vent, to get out our frustration (often with ourselves) so we can do what we need to do. It's all a growing process isn't it? So I agree, no pity (that's not what you need or wanted i'm sure) but an encouraging word to say "way to go; you stood up for yourself in making the pick up on Saturday (baby steps are good!) and I'm willing to bet that next time, you'll make sure people know they can't give you a day's notice! Lesson learned." |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
