Do your kids get an allowance? If so, make them actually work for it. And I agree with turning off the TV, video games, computer, and phones until some work gets done around the house.
When I was young, it was my job to load the dishwasher. My brother took out the trash, younger brother set the table. We all collected our clothes for laundry, and we all put the clean clothes away. Surely your boys could handle this, but you need your husband's support to make it happen.
Whatever happens, make sure you get that ME time, it's so crucial.
Do your kids get an allowance? If so, make them actually work for it. And I agree with turning off the TV, video games, computer, and phones until some work gets done around the house.
When I was young, it was my job to load the dishwasher. My brother took out the trash, younger brother set the table. We all collected our clothes for laundry, and we all put the clean clothes away. Surely your boys could handle this, but you need your husband's support to make it happen.
Whatever happens, make sure you get that ME time, it's so crucial.
If they don't get an allowance, that's ok too! Lord knows I don't get one for scrubbing the toilet! Household chores are all a part of being part of a household. In our house, you don't get allowance/paid for doing things you should make a habbit of doing on a regular basis. You do get paid for going above and beyond in the non-every day tasks (i.e. cleaning the garage, vaccuuming out the car, washing windows, weeding the garden, raking leaves). I just think there's a way to feel "paid" by seeing a job well done - pride in accomplishment, not just payment in cold hard cash. It helps put value in doing a job well done. Just remember to acknowledge and praise everything those boys & DH does (they are funny that way). We women do a million things a day and no one notices (unless it's not done), but if they actually put a new roll of TP on the holder instead of on top of the tank, by golly, thank 'em for it! It will go a long way!
mjballinger Frequent Member
Joined: Mar 22, 2007
Posts: 278
Location: PA
Birthday: Oct 14
Posted:
Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:31 am
I think we can all relate! I had surgery last month and was put on a very restricted plan for 2 months, so that my hernia didn't return...my sweet (read my sarcasm here) hubby says he'll take care of things... I should just rest. Well that was tough, so I started doing some little things and I had to make dinner... my daughters need to eat. Ends up being hubby is doing one thing - the dishes. Rubbing my incision against the sink and getting it wet wasn't comfy, so I just was not doing that.. (It is 9 inches long) He couldn't even do that on a regular basis. One day he comes out of our room (geesh, I wish I could go relax in our room) and says what's for dinner. I told him there were no clean dishes for me to cook dinner. Didn't make a difference at all. I think 99 percent of men just don't get it. After working or taking care of young kids all day, why should women still have to do it all??
Let me add that I have 2 girls - 7 and 13 and they help out a lot. With laundry, picking up, etc... I just wasn't going to make them do the dishes too. THEY care enough that they want me to get better.
Now when my hubby tells me I should rest I just look at him questioningly and ask him who will do everything else. He never has an answer. grrr.
I wish I had a solution for you. Take your "me" time. Take a nice hot bath. Bonk all those men in your life over the head. That last one is my best solution. lol. Good luck!
BREN28 Regular Member
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Posts: 116
Location: TEXAS
Posted:
Fri Aug 15, 2008 11:48 am
TOTALLY RELATE!! im your age with two boys,just turned 20 &21,going to college(we wanted them to stay with us while they were going to college,we didnt want them to struggle trying to pay for apartment,food,bills,ect. and try to go to college at the same time).best boys you could ask for,never gave us any trouble,always have good grades,but cant clean to save thier lives! thier rooms look like a bomb went off in there. i can't say that my husband is lazy,even though i got them used to me waiting on them hand and foot. he still does all the yard work,fixes the cars,repairs on house,run errands,pays bills,buys what ever the boys need or i need. he even likes to bbq alot on sunday so that i dont have to make anything during the week to eat.isnt he nice?! but i dont feel like i have alot of "me" time either,just to much going on in our daily lives. we had always had the boys doing chores when they were younger, but as they got older they started slacking off,i know they have alot going on in their lives,school,work,ect.,but it drives me and my husband crazy that that dont clean thier rooms. trust me, i know what you mean about them being eating machines.i only have two, and my grocery bill is sky high!!
Tashablueyes Frequent Member
Joined: Dec 04, 2007
Posts: 220
Birthday: Aug 30
Posted:
Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:34 pm
I hear you! I am a SAHM right now and that only adds to my frustration! I have been very slowly working my way through school and I cannot wait to get back out there and have adult conversation that doesn't include poopy diapers, but I know it will cut into my cake time. For me cakes have become the creative outlet that I stay up til 3 am with because there's no other time to do it! But man, everyone else's messes are bad enough without me adding cake pans and decorating supplies by the sinkful!
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Household chores are all a part of being part of a household. In our house, you don't get allowance/paid for doing things you should make a habbit of doing on a regular basis. You do get paid for going above and beyond in the non-every day tasks (i.e. cleaning the garage, vaccuuming out the car, washing windows, weeding the garden, raking leaves). I just think there's a way to feel "paid" by seeing a job well done - pride in accomplishment, not just payment in cold hard cash. It helps put value in doing a job well done. Just remember to acknowledge and praise everything those boys & DH does (they are funny that way). We women do a million things a day and no one notices (unless it's not done), but if they actually put a new roll of TP on the holder instead of on top of the tank, by golly, thank 'em for it! It will go a long way! 
