I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for yor loss. The picture of your son is very beautiful and peacefull. There is nothing wrong with taking pictures like these. www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org
SugaredUp Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 16, 2008
Posts: 212
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 5:49 am
I am sorry that you had to go through CC pettiness on top of what you already have gone through. I think you're an inspiration - keep on doing what you're doing - and continue to celebrate his life. God Bless.
luvscakes Frequent Member
Joined: Aug 29, 2006
Posts: 253
Location: Kansas
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 5:58 am
I had no idea that there was all this going on- let alone about that cute photo! I have seen you post before and have seen the avatar and never once did it dawn on me that that sweet baby was gone.
I think it's great that you are remembering your son and that you have a photo of him that you can share with the world and your friends here on CC. My SIl had a stillborn baby girl (her first to be born) and I had a healthy baby a week later. It was the most painful thing I have ever seen anyone have to go through, and the pain didn't just go away. She still remembers her beautiful baby girl in anyway she can.
No one should be upset with you because of that! Bless you as you continue to heal and thank you for sharing your photo of your lovely baby boy!
fluttercakes Regular Member
Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Posts: 192
Location: Fayetteville, GA
Birthday: Nov 18
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:03 am
I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I don't see anything disturbing about your avatar or signature at all! I never had a stillborn child, and hopefully I never will...but I also have never come to term in my pregnancies. That's right, I have had two miscarriages, and the last one scared me so bad that I have refused to get pregnant for almost three years...that might change in the future, but that's another story.
I still can't understand what is so 'creepy' about a picture of an adorable baby! If I didn't know he had passed on, I would have been like Indydebi and thought he was sleeping. One of my best friends since middle school had pictures of her father in his casket when I first meet her...yes, it was disturbing because it was obvious that he was in a coffin, but I think the only reason it was disturbing to me back then was because I had never been to a funeral before. Now, I have been to WAY too many, and I don't find these kind of pictures disturbing or creepy any more. It's a way to remember and to grieve!
Also, there is a pregnancy board that I was a member of, and there are numerous signatures on there with 'Angel' tickers...some women have had so many, and it just broke my heart...but they are still strong. Those tickers are a way of remembering a life and either didn't get a chance to start or one cut way too short...that isn't disturbing...it's a great honoring of a loved one!
Again, I am so sorry that you had to be put through this situation here on CC, but I definitely admire your strength and your faith! Bless you.
vtjilly Junior Member
Joined: May 22, 2007
Posts: 21
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:05 am
Twooten-
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your son. I lost a daughter, my firstborn, Catherine when I was 40 weeks and 2 days into my pregnancy. She was born on February 19, 2005 and was 6 pounds, 2 ounces and absolutely beautiful. We took pictures of her as well and I have a picture of her on my desk as well as in my house. I proudly display her picture, I openly talk about her, and we have a blog just for her (catherineslight.blogspot.com). I personally don't care if it makes people uncomfortable--they need to face reality that this stuff happens.
You should never have to apologize for people's insensitivity. It's because of this insensivity, or ignorance that stillbirth is not commonly known about. Every 1 in 115 pregnancies results in stillbirth--that's more babies than the ones that die from SIDS. We've all heard about SIDS, but we don't hear enough about stillbirth. The US in fact is in the top ten in the world with the number of stillbirths and I find this completely unacceptable.
There are several organizations who aid with stillbirths--The MISS Foundation (www.missfoundation.org) and the National Stillbirth Society (www.stillnomore.org). Also, if you'd ever like to talk, feel free to PM me.
(((HUGS))))
bevyd Junior Member
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 89
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:07 am
I am sorry for your loss.Your son's picture is not inappropriate please dont remove it. God Bless You. Bevyd
Last edited by bevyd on Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:11 am; edited 1 time in total
God Bless you and your family. Your Baby was and will always be beautiful. Don't you dare take his picture down! He was lucky to have such a strong and loving mother.
I just wanted to express my condolences, one of my best friends has lost two babies (one stillbirth and one was born at 22 weeks and only lived a few seconds)....... those funerals were some of the roughest moments in my life. My friend only has a couple of pictures of her daughter and a couple of pictures taken at her funeral (at first I felt strange seeing pictures being taken at the funeral but now after going through the memory books I get it, this is all she has of her daughter and son)...... she had her son at a different hospital and they came in and took something like 70 beautiful photographs.... I have photos of both her beautiful babies, probably before this experience with my friend I wouldn't have gotten it, but that was just due to my ignorance. Now I completely understand.
hang in there....... sending you some cyber hugs
disneynutbsv Frequent Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2007
Posts: 449
Location: N. Woodstock, NH
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:15 am
I didn't get involved in the other thread, but your child is precious and yes, you must celebrate him. I just wanted to offer you a big hug and to say, I'm sorry for your loss. Don't take the picture down.
I just want to apologize to you for all of this. I am one of the members who posted early on asking what the avatar was, and I'm glad no one PM'd me. I had no idea that it was of such a sensitive nature, and once I realized what direction all of the hints were going in, I left it alone. It is nowhere near "strange" or "inappropriate" - all I see is your beautiful baby boy. I am very sorry for your loss, and I admire the strength you have shown here.
I am just very sad that you felt like you have to defend yourself over this. People don't realize how much it hurts to feel like we shouldn't be proud of ALL our children. Your son is beautiful, please don't remove his picture.
To a previous poster: Any woman who has been through this would NEVER wish anything like this on another human being. Please, people, death affects us all differently, but please watch what you say when it comes to children. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
missmeg Frequent Member
Joined: Jun 04, 2007
Posts: 497
Location: Seacoast, NH
Birthday: Nov 09
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:31 am
Twooten -
Please accept my belated and sincere condolences on the loss of your son Taylor. I have viewed many such pictures, and cannot do do so without a catch in my throat and a prayer offered to God for the babe's mom. Your avatar is not only NOT inappropriate, it is a loving tribute to your son and how you cared and nourished him during his life.
God bless,
~Meg
jl5949 Regular Member
Joined: Feb 08, 2007
Posts: 197
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:32 am
I posted in the last thred on this and I have to again say how sorry I am for your loss. When you responded to me in the last post with your avatar I really couldn't understand why people would be up in arms about the beautiful picture of your son, as I feel that it is a very nice way to remember and be proud of him. But after reading this post I think I understand more why the avatar possibly bothered others. I think it is simply fear and ingnorance. I pray for you and your family in your time of need and I also pray for the "offened" people that God helps you understand how to have compassion for others.
mbelgard Forum SuperStar!
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 2821
Posted:
Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:33 am
jkalman wrote:
I am adding my love to the chain. My heartbroke the instant I found out what the fuss was about. I had hoped that we could get it removed before you would be exposed to the insensitivity, but that didn't happen.
.
I will say that I'm still shocked that the thread wasn't at least locked as soon as people knew what it was about, deleted would have been my guess. What was "inappropriate" wasn't the avatar but the original thread about it.
If we censored every signature, avatar and ticker that someone had an issue with there would be very little left to use. I would personally hate to see one with a spider, I can't even look at a picture of them, but what about the people who have pet spiders? I have a pet iguana and I'm sure some people would be terribly disturbed to see a picture of that.
I can certainly understand posting one of the only pictures of your baby and no one should be pressured to take such a photo down. I saw this avatar several times before I realized what it really was and it never bothered me.
The objection to the ticker was nuts. That is what they look like in the womb after all.
And Twooten I hope that this whole discussion doesn't drive you away from here or make you think that you need to remove your avatar. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Last edited by mbelgard on Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:46 am; edited 1 time in total
Twooten, I read a portion of the OP thread when this all began and even though I had seen your avatar severa; times before that, not once did I think that it was "the one" that they were speaking of. It was a blessing in and of itself that you were able to go through so much hurt and tragedy and come out with joy in the end. May God continue to bless you and may you continue to be proud of you little bundle of joy.
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